bloom

Tristan / 30s / agender they/them pronouns this is my 3rd or 4th blog since like 2010. you know how it is. you trans your gender, you get a new blog. i am almost always posting from my queue so i am probably not online when i post, but feel free to drop me a message and i'll reply when i'm here.

[sgushyonka]

This is all I have for this pride month, sorry for being homophobic

[only-cat-memes]

[7-inches-of-satanic-panic]

k but imagine Rocky wanting to learn about how humans became the apex predators of their planet so he has Grace “hunt” him in the biodome as an experiment and during it he thinks Grace isn’t trying or taking it seriously which is bad bad bad because this is for research purposes

only for Rocky to get more and more tired as the experiment goes on just to realize that Grace isn’t which makes him panic so he puts as much distance as he can between them and finds a (hopefully) safe spot to sleep and when he wakes up the human is crouching over him like “got youuu” and Rocky has never shrieked so damn loud before in his life

[kathrynalexao3]

[gummygunk]

play video games mini zine

[koiagain]

I guess you could say he’s ve… he’s a very h…

[batsdotjpg]

some pride uno reverses

feel free to request in my asks

[antisocialandhungry]

Berlin - Germany - “We love you no matter who you love. ”

EDIT: credits: @uloniel on tumblr 

[circuitrin]

happy pride month! i made some lgbt flag inspired wallpapers ✨ they’re free for personal use! 💖🏳️‍🌈

[fellweather]

some of the seals in the seal hospital zeehondencentrum (from reference)

[mushlivingroom]

i loosely followed thedimelions’s tutorial for naturally dyeing a pride flag, with a lot of added research about natural dyes, stains, mordants, sewing, etc, and i wanted to share my results!!

process, notes, and more pics under the read more🌱

starting off i soaked my fabric (100% cotton acquired from joann's during their closing sale, rip joann's ;-;) in a 1:5 mixture of soy milk and water for 12 hours, then let dry on a clothesline in the sun, then dipped and dried two more times (the proteins in the soy milk help the natural dyes adhere to the fabric, creating darker colors and better colorfastness)

while that was happening i started making my dyes, which involved simmering my chosen dyestuffs in some water for 30-60 minutes. i didnt time it, just went until the color developed to a point i was happy with

as far as ratios i didn’t measure, but the more dyestuff = stronger color so err on the side of more

red: turmeric + baking soda, paprika, and yellow onion skin dye as the liquid base

orange: yellow onion skins

yellow: turmeric

green: red cabbage + baking powder (LOTS), turmeric

blue: red cabbage + baking powder

purple: red cabbage

for the red cabbage dyes, i added the baking powders and soda after simmering and just kept adding and stirring till i got the color i wanted. ((BIG NOTE red cabbage, and debatably most of the others that I used, are fugitive dyes, meaning its not a true dye and more of a stain that will fade with time and wash out more easily, especially without mordanting on additives like iron. keep this in mind if you end up doing this project or transfering these methods to cloth you will be using for clothes, ie washing and wearing more frequently))

i also tried to make a pink with avocado skins and pits, which did come out a lovely rosy color, but i didn’t end up using in the final flag, which i might use beet or red cabbage + lemon juice or another acidified for next time to get a more bright pink

now with my dyes ready and my cloth dried out from its previous soy milk dip i cut it into strips and stuck it in the jars, which were placed in the sun for the day (alternatively, you could simmer the cloth in the pot) and then left to sit overnight

the next day i squeezed out the excess dye and gave the ones with turmeric a light rinse to get the grit out, then hung them to dry

((small note i reused the dyes baths to see what would happen since they still looked just as pigmented, but the colors are much much much more faded on the second go around. all in all its doable, but I wouldn't recommend it.))

now time to sew! i procured a second hand sewing machine specifically for this project and had never sewed before, but thankfully this required the easiest stitch in the game (a straight stitch in a straight line). i looked up how to sew a flag specifically to get those clean lines rather than just overlapping, and this video was great (shoutout Suffolk Public Library)

as you can see my flag ended up quite long cause I left a lot of wiggle room, so I just look up flag ratios, trimmed it up (and used the extra strip of rainbow as decoration) then added a white strip folded over to make a way for me to hang it on a stick if I ever so desire.

and ta daaa! i would still like to clean it up a bit, and do a zig zag stitch around the outside to stop the cloth from fraying further, but im happy with the unpolished look of it. once i figure out how to get a pink I like, and how to get browns and blacks, i want to make a progress flag and trans flag. also just started growing some indigo, so excited to see if I can get some blue dyes out of that.

[gatheringbones]

[““Man box,” a term increasingly used by psychologists and advocates, refers to a very rigid set of behavior and personality rules men are expected to adhere to if they are to be safe from being challenged on their status as “real men.” While women have spent the last few decades challenging traditional notions of femininity and breaking down barriers for increased rights, the same change has not happened for men.

In a 2017 study that surveyed more than one thousand young men in the United States, the United Kingdom, and Mexico, respectively, led by the organization Promundo, the man box is defined as the combination of seven pillars. The first pillar is self-sufficiency, or the idea that men should be self-reliant emotionally and physically. The second pillar is toughness, understood as the ability to display physical and emotional strength in all circumstances. The third pillar is physical attractiveness, achieved without signaling too much effort. The fourth pillar is fulfilling traditional gender roles, financially providing for a household, and avoiding tasks deemed feminine. The fifth pillar is being both straight and homophobic. The sixth pillar is being hypersexual with no ability to say no. The seventh pillar is having the final say at home, having control over women’s movements, and the belief that violence and aggression are sometimes necessary tools to gain respect.

To be clear, these pillars, which are sometimes also referred to in the context of what is called “toxic masculinity,” are not a positive list or a how-to for men; rather, they are a condensation of the restrictions imposed on men. Harsh emotional rules are not just for women but apply to men, too—with very different requirements and consequences. Gender performance and oppression, at its most harmful, is a tight, two-way street. Penalties for those who deviate are severe, and in some ways harsher for men than for women. Calling a girl a tomboy is mostly an affectionate description, but calling a boy a sissy is an insult. In a misogynistic world, anything at all feminine is tarnishing.

In the Promundo study, which interviewed 1,318 men in the United States aged eighteen to thirty across all backgrounds and demographics, representative of the overall populations, three quarters of the men agreed with the statement that “society as a whole tells me that guys should act strong even if they feel scared or nervous inside.” The one form of emotional labor men are actively socially trained to perform is emotion suppression, followed by displays of strength or aggression. Anything beyond is transgressive.

This kind of restricted emotion expression stands in huge contrast to what emotional labor usually refers to—as a form of work that prioritizes other people feeling good. In fact, many of the pillars are the perfect opposite of emotional labor, not only requiring men to cut themselves off from truly understanding and managing their own emotions but also, through the imperative of aggression and dominance, priming them to disregard the emotions of others, thereby centering their own.

In my interviews with men, this often made it feel like the topic of emotional labor was a complete dead end. This was not only because the concept of emotions requiring time, effort, and skill astonished them to the point of deep confusion but also because so many professed themselves to be nonemotional.

One of the men I interviewed, Jeff, a straight white man in his late thirties in a long-term relationship, was dumbfounded by the concept. After I repeatedly explained what emotional labor referred to, Jeff finally announced he had understood what I was talking about. He then proudly made another firm assertion. “I am not an emotional person, so I do not need emotional labor!”

As Jeff expressed the thought that emotional labor was irrelevant to him, I realized our interview would not last very long. I initially thought the interview would go into the unusable pile, but it soon dawned on me that Jeff was actually expressing the crux of the problem. “I am not a particularly emotive person,” he continued, “which I am sure is somewhat familiar for men. I am generally considered pretty flat.”

If the first man box pillar is in part the idea that men should be self-reliant emotionally and the second pillar is in part emotional toughness, it didn’t take me long to understand that getting men to open up would also be asking them to violate core guidelines of gendered behavior. To an extent, all Jeff was really doing was refusing to play with those very rigid boundaries. But to another, Jeff was engaging in a bad-faith power play. By refusing to acknowledge the existence of his own emotions, Jeff was relinquishing the need for any emotional effort or the belonging to any emotional network, further rendering the work of others around him, absorbing and caring for his emotions, invisible.”]

rose hackman, from emotional labor: the invisible work shaping our lives and how to claim our power, 2023

[somepomegranatetea]

Grace tries copying the tones using the keyboard.

Rocky hums. “Close. Skip first note.”

“Why? You always include that.”

“This means… of Rocky, possessive. Of the speaker.”

“My.”

“Correct. But only for names.”

“So you’re calling me…?”

Rocky repeats the word: “My Grace. Yes.” 

“Are there other Graces? Why do you need to specify?”

Rocky considers this, tapping his xenonite-encased claws idly against the floor. 

“No other Grace,” Rocky says. “We just do this.”

“Like an honorific,” Grace guesses. “It goes before everyone’s name? Everyone you know?”

Rocky whirs in surprise. “No, no, no. Not at all.”

“Okay, then who? What makes me qualify?”

Rocky is silent for a moment.

“...Does this offend Grace?” he asks, voice lower. 

Grace blinks. “No! I don’t think so. Is there a reason to be offended?”

“Good,” Rocky says, relieved. Grace is starting to recognize what Eridian relief sounds like. “No, no reason.”

“Who else do you call that?”

“You don’t have this on Earth?”

Grace considers. What for, friends? He couldn’t call Marissa “my Marissa.” That would be weird.

“I still don’t know what it means,” he settles on. “So I couldn’t tell you.”

Rocky groans in frustration. He’s a very impatient tutor. “We just say it.”

“Are you my Rocky?” Grace asks. He hits the two keys to make the my note. 

“I don’t know!” Rocky says. “You decide this.” 

“I decide? Who do you use it for?” 

“You. Adrian. I will use it for my pebbles.” 

Grace blinks. “So few?”

Rocky shifts. “I am… you do not have the word yet. Eridian who works alone often, not close to many other Eridians.”

“What, mechanical engineer?”

Rocky chitters. “Acceptable.”

“Is Adrian your only friend?” 

Rocky draws back, like he’s taken offense. “I have friends. Coworkers. But different.”

So just Adrian. And him. 

“This worries you,” Rocky says.

“Adrian is your mate,” Grace points out. “I’m not your mate.”

“Correct. You are not. You do not like to be a mate.”

Grace isn’t sure how to respond to that, so he ignores it.

“I’m your friend,” Grace says. 

Rocky hesitates, for a second. “...Correct.”

“Like your coworkers.”

“No.”

Grace sighs, rubbing his hand across his face. Okay, maybe that’s fair. It’s not like he felt about any of his coworkers like he feels about Rocky.

“Best friend,” Grace amends. “You’re my best friend, too.”

Rocky hums. “Acceptable.”

“Just acceptable? Now you are offending me. Can you just explain?”

This makes Rocky fall silent for a minute longer than usual. Grace is half-ready to apologize and to say let’s move on and to retype his own name without the superfluous my. 

“The Earth ‘best friend’ is not strong enough,” Rocky says finally. “It does not translate this way.”

Grace runs his fingers through his hair, a little nervous, for some reason. “Okay.”

“It is…” Rocky pauses. He has to pause more often, now that they’re not using the translator, to simplify his language. “It means that I am not Rocky without my Grace. You are part of… of the whole. When I wake up, I think of you. When I work. When I eat. When I think I am going to die.”

Rocky speaks slowly, but it’s still a lot of Eridian for Grace to grasp all at once. Even as he works out the sentences in his head, he can feel hot tears rising in his eyes.

“It means that when you are sick, I am sick,” Rocky continues. “And it means I will take care of you, because taking care of you is taking care of myself.”

Grace bunches up his sleeve, wiping it across his face, blinking furiously.

Rocky’s voice is soft. “So Grace is part of Rocky. Grace is like a cell. You see? My Grace.” 

Grace is quiet, for a moment, trying to get himself together. When he speaks, his voice is shaky.

“...Oh.”

Rocky hums, pressing his carapace gently against Grace’s arm. “You are leaking. Does this make you sad?”

Grace shakes his head, sniffing, crossing his arms across his knees and resting his chin on his sleeves. “Not at all.”

“Good, good.”

“I feel like that,” Grace mumbles. “Just like that. Just exactly—exactly like that.”

“About your old mate?”

“Don’t act stupid. You know I’m talking about you.”

Rocky hums, burrowing closer. Grace curls one arm around his carapace. That’s not enough, so he leans over, dropping his head down so his forehead presses against the xenonite. 

“My Rocky,” Grace whispers in English. 

“My Grace,” Rocky echoes in Eridian. Grace can recognize the note at the start. He will add it when he plays Rocky’s name. 

“How long have you called me that?” Grace asks. “Must’ve been a while. I didn’t notice it change.”

“Long time,” Rocky agrees. “Long, long time.”

[muddonium]

Moved by the voices of everyone who dared to go on this journey together ,

They found light in one another.

For they were never meant to come back ,

And so they kept moving forward ,

Leaving behind one single message :

"We love you ."

[unicorndeathrace]

Petrova Line

[morelikeariverthanarocky]

I do genuinely think Andy Weir tried to make an alien no one would want to fuck and I think everyone has done such a great job turning around and giving him the middle finger. I really hope he has seen all the creative ways people have found to make it work. Like I know he has to have at least one friend clowing and sending him the alien porn and if he doesn't I just know he's a lurker. Either way, hi Andy! 🫰

[clementine-kesh]

i read an interview with a mathematician recently where she talks about the commonalities between math and literature and the idea that playfulness is a key part of doing both of those things. there’s a lot of fun to be had in turning a concept over and over, finding novel ways to look at it or combine it with other things, and i think that idea of playfulness also applies to analysis + critique. looking at a story through different lenses to see what new insights you can gain, reading intertexts and learning about the context in which it was created. finding a new bit of theory and saying hey wait a minute, i can use this to talk about [insert favourite media here]! it’s fun!

[clementine-kesh]

if i can get on my professional educator soapbox for a moment i think the reason a lot of people struggle with the idea that analysis and critique can be fun is that our education system in general is not designed to make the intellectual process seem particularly fun, or like something that can be approached in a playful manner (see also: the mathematician’s lament). thinking deeply about things for the sake of thinking deeply about things seems ridiculous because it’s associated with the stress of grades and too much homework and general bad pedagogy. it creates a lack of confidence in one’s own intellectual abilities that makes even the act of trying seem like too much. and it’s not at all impossible to grow past this and find the fun in the intellectual process but you do have to push past a lot of that fear and anxiety first

[clementine-kesh]

here’s the original article as well as a mathematician’s lament

[evilbuildingsblog]

A nuclear power plant built in a beautiful wheat field near a chapel. (Czech Republic)

[bloodfilledegg]

Lipňanská kaplička připomíná obec Lipňany, která v r. 1980 zanikla kvůli výstavbě Jaderné elektrárny Dukovany.

The Lipňany Chapel commemorates the village of Lipňany, which disappeared in 1980 due to the construction of the Dukovany Nuclear Power Plant.

📸 Zdeněk Dvořák