King of The World?

I swear a lot, some say too much but I don't give a fuck about that. I enjoy paddling, sports and video games. And I fuckin' love Rock'n'Roll.

[katyakora]

Intergalactic Noise Control

Apparently, radio waves broadcast out into space. So what if Earth is the planetary equivalent of that arsehole neighbour blasting shitty music at 3am? It takes light-years to reach anyone capable of picking it up, but when they do it’s like we’re playing Skrillex, Beethoven, the Wiggles and Metallica simultaneously, at full volume with maximum bass. Imagine Earth’s first contact being the intergalactic equivalent of Noise Control showing up to make us turn down our damn stereo so the rest of the galaxy can get some sleep.

[sarcasmandfoxes]

So I’ve been reading loads of those space australia posts today and I’ve thought of a few things that I think aliens might find weird.

1. The way we repair things with tape or glue or whatever. Especially when it could still be dangerous to use afterwards, like wires wrapped in tape instead of replacing them.

2. We give names to everything.

3. X-rays and MRI scans, etc.

4. When we find new things we will probably touch it without knowing if it’s dangerous or not.

5. We built homes with toxic materials like asbestos.

6. We scare ourselves for fun.

7. Humans can just exist with different disorders or disabilities and we just deal with and try to help the best we can. Like imagine an alien meeting a human with narcolepsy or something.

8. Humans will fight anything if given enough alcohol or taunted enough.

9. Youtube challenges, like the cinnamon challenge etc.

10. We question everything and if we disagree or there is no proof we will find proof no matter what to prove we’re right. 

[queerpyracy]

you know what space travel media is sorely lacking in? superstitions.

don’t give me any bs about future enlightenment eradicating superstition humans are humans and we can barely conceptually handle the sea let alone the Void where there’s far too much room for the mind to wander

[queerpyracy]

on the sea you never stack the cans with the label upside down, lest the ship capsize

in the stars you never crush the cans, lest the fragile walls between you and the abyss be crushed

[thundernlightning-lesbian-deact]

@faebinding

[pharaonicwolf]

Especially because REAL LIFE space travel is full of superstitious practices. 

[argumate]

If space travel doesn’t involve sea shanties then I think we’ll have missed an opportunity.

[collapsedsquid]

You see though, for sea travel you want big strong people who are capable of managing rigging.  For space travel you want small low-mass people who are technically educated, as they are called, nerds.  Your space shanties are going to be less booming and more squeaky.

[italo-disco-calvino]

in so far as there will be space shanties, they’ll be filk

[argumate]

I call shenanigans on the big strong people; sailors were young and malnourished by modern standards, and climbing around the rigging is easier if you’re small and light.

[krakenartificer]

Like, I am 100% in favor of shanties in as many situations as possible, but I’m having trouble coming up with a mode of space travel that would require multiple humans to move in concert, thus necessitating songs with a strong beat to move to.  

[animatedamerican]

Sea chanties were for providing a strong beat to move to.  Space chanties might very well arise just because we’re bored, out there between point A and point B for so long.

(Also yes, @gdanskcityofficial up there has the right of it.)

[bigscaryd]

Space shanties are for warp piloting. Under warp drive, human time perception and time as measured by crystal or atomic oscillators don’t match. Starship pilots listen to a small unamplified chorus singing a careful rhythm while keeping their own eyes on a silent metronome that the chorus can’t see, linked to a highly-precise atomic clock. How the chorus and metronome fall in and out of sync tells the pilot how to keep the ship safely in the warp bubble and correctly on course.

Depending on route, a typical warp jump can last anywhere from one to ten minutes, and most courses consist of five to fifteen jumps before a necessary four to six hour break to check the engines, plot the next set of jumps, and give everyone a chance to recover. A good shanty team, with reliable rhythm, a broad, versatile, and extendible repertoire, and the stamina to do 3-4 sets a day over the course of a voyage, is just as vital to space travel as a pilot, navigator, or engineering team.

[galahadiant]

@tmae3114

[jewishdragon]

YESSSSS

[gallusrostromegalus]

Other reasons Shanties will experience a revival in the space age:

We will sing for any freaking reason, or no reason at all, and Shanties are FUN to sing.

Deep Space is a lonely place and recruiting people suited to long periods of isolation might be a good idea.  People from Newfoundland/Labrador, for instance.

SPACE WHALES

THEY’RE DEFINITELY REAL I FEEL IT IN MY SOUL

“What Do We Do With A Drunken Sailor” is basically a revenge fantasy against your most incompetent co-workers and if there’s something humans love doing, it’s being petty.

[decepticonsensual]

Plus, no need for work songs in space?  Tell that to all my colleagues who’ve come up with little ditties they’ve sung under their breath while at the computer.

“The Printer Song” and “I Will Fucking End You, Google Chrome” are my favourites.

[katswenski]

[plume]

OMG everyone I know the ACTUAL story behind the gif this time! Yes, it’s in Australia– that’s a big angry goanna that wandered into a popular restaurant. All the Australians in the vicinity went OH FUCK NO and cleared off, because goannas are mean. The waitress you see there is a French exchange student, who was quoted as saying something to the effect of “I thought it was a weird ugly dog” and had no idea it was a reptile that wanted to rip her arms off. She’s been hailed as a hero who saved diners.

[mousathe14]

It’s amazing what power “not knowing” has.

[zarekthelordofthefries]

The thing I especially love about this is this is a pretty dangerous animal, except she managed to defeat it by just fucking grabbing it by the tail and walking too quickly for it to turn around. Once again the animal kingdom is thwarted because we evolved opposable thumbs, long limbs, and reckless bravery.

[orjustbecauseyoucould]

weird, ugly dog thwarted by foreign exchange student and polished floors 

[idiopathicsmile]

my take-home lesson here is that nobody in france has ever first-hand seen a dog

[triscribe]

…Well now I’m thinking about intergalactic human exchange students on alien planets in the distant-future, causing the locals to freak out because of situations like this.

“Human-Alice! No! That is vryksnitt’r, it’s fangs and claws are coated in the worst of poisons! Don’t go near it!”

“Oh please, it’s just a big old lizard, I’ve had to drag lots of them out of restaurant patios before.”

“HUmaN-AliCE wHaT ARe yoU DoINg-!”

@space-australians

[homunculus-argument]

the universe: okay, you’re a human. I gave you free will and a conscious mind, so you’re free to do whatever you want. So what do you wanna do?

human: GO FAST

the universe: well, you’re a perfect pursuit predator but if that’s the way you want to evolve, go ahead.

human, climbing on a horse: GO FAST

the universe: wait what

human, inventing the carriage, the car and the bullet train: GO FASTER

the universe: I IMPLORE YOU TO STOP

human, trying to figure out lightspeed travel: FAS T ER

[abstractandedgyname]

human: 

THEORETICALLY MAXIMUM FAST

the universe:

[spoiledchestnut]

Alien: You shouldn’t eat that.

Human: What?

Alien: That thing. Don’t you know it’s extremely acidic? Enough to cause eventual deterioration of your flesh?

Human: ….it’s a fucking pineapple.

[unpretty]

tim drake’s snapchat is 90% him making bruce wayne do normal middle-class american things and filming the results. popular youtube compilations include the one where they’re at denny’s at two in the morning and tim keeps trying to get bruce to order a moon over my hammy just so he’ll have to say it, the one where they’re at disneyworld and bruce gets increasingly frazzled culminating in him actually physically picking up gaston for reasons no one can entirely recall, and everyone’s favorite series “bruce wayne doesn’t understand walmart”

[unpretty]

having thought about it the best part is probably when a pranking fails because bruce has such a bizarre patchwork of knowledge/skills and it does not occur to him to hide most of it. tim puts a ghost pepper in bruce’s food but bruce just eats it like nothing is wrong. the same thing happens with the chocolate-covered crickets. it turns out bruce can lick his own elbow. bruce can lasso a runaway robot lawnmower like it’s a calf at a rodeo. whenever tim expresses shock that bruce knows how to do something he says “i did go to college, tim” as if that explains anything and it becomes a meme. whenever anyone does something fucking absurd it just gets tagged “i did go to college, tim”.

[unpretty]

The camera came uncomfortably close to the face of a man ignoring it. He was very good at it. He was reading a book about, of all things, the history of denim. It was not the sort of book that made it easy to ignore cameras, but he remained stoic.

The caption said helpfully: [been doing this for 30 mins]

“Bruce. Bruce. Bruce. We need to go Walmart. Bruce. I need it.”

“Ask Alfred.”

→→→

“It’s a surprise for Alfred.”

“You can’t surprise Alfred.”

“Bruce, please.”

→→→

“It’s not a matter of permission, I’m saying you literally can’t surprise Alfred.”

→→→

[he hates when i say that]

“Bruuuuce.”

“No.”

“This is bullroar.”

Bruce finally set down his book with an expression of the most profound disgust.

→→→

[oh no now we’ll be here all day]

“—either curse or don’t, just commit one way or the other instead of—”

→→→

The camera took its time panning over a black BMW.

“Can I drive?”

“No.”

→→→

[after this he took away my music privileges]

Bruce was driving, looking stoic again. His face lent itself well to stoicism. The radio played, at high volume, “Sandstorm” by Darude.

→→→

“I’ll play something different this time.”

“You had your chance and you blew it on a meme.”

→→→

[SJGJDH;FUKC 😂😂😂]

“I’m boooored.”

“Hi, bored,” Bruce said, eyes still on the road, and Tim groaned loudly. “I don’t give a shit.”

The view shifted and audio clattered as Tim dropped the phone, barking a laugh.

→→→

The phone was wobbly as Tim followed Bruce into the store. “Can I get a trampoline?” he asked, camera pointed to one outside the store.

“We have three trampolines.”

“But I want that one.”

→→→

They were in the chip aisle. “Have you ever had a Dorito? One Dorito? In your whole life?”

“I am a person. I eat food for people.”

→→→

The camera followed a bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos into the cart.

“We’re not getting those.”

“We need to get sour cream, too.”

“No.”

“You’ll love it.”

“No.”

→→→

Tim had put the seatbelt of the cart’s seat, intended for toddlers, around a giant plastic jar of orange cheese puffs.

“I thought you were getting something for Alfred.”

“I’m getting groceries while we’re here.”

“None of this is food.”

→→→

[$3 pickles blowing his mind rn]

Bruce was holding a gallon jar of pickles with an expression of incredulity.

“—costs extra to not waste food?”

“It’s Walmart.”

“Even taking into account the economies of scale—”

→→→

[putting his degree to use in the pickle aisle]

“—it just makes no sense even as a loss leader, unless the goal is to drive the competition out of business and hope they don’t go bankrupt in the—”

→→→

[i think he’s buying a pickle company??]

Bruce had every appearance of furiously texting on his phone, or possibly composing emails.

→→→

[lmao he did]

Bruce was now on his phone, looking impassive as ever as he contemplated the giant jar of pickles.

“—the business itself is perfectly sound. Yes. Obviously. Dead serious. Look, if you—”

→→→

Tim put a gallon jug of ranch dressing into the cart.

“Absolutely not.”

→→→

Tim was in the frozen section, his reflection visible in the glass.

“I bet Alfred would love some pizza rolls.”

“Your lies demean us both, Tim.”

→→→

Bruce was standing in the toy aisle, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “I understand the concept of blind boxes perfectly well, thank you.”

“Then why are you acting confused?”

“Why does Thomas the Tank Engine—”

→→→

[🌈🌈🌈]

Bruce was making a face of disgruntled bafflement at a display of baby clothes.

“—disturbed by the amount of aggressive heterosexuality being foisted on these babies.”

“Yeah,” Tim agreed. “What about the gay babies?”

“I can’t tell if you’re joking but I’m unironically concerned.”

→→→

[gotham pride]

The camera panned over a display of hero-themed hats. Most of the Batman hats had sold out, while the Superman display was nearly full. It panned back to Bruce, who was taking a picture with his own phone.

“Who you texting it to?”

“Friend in Metropolis.”

“Metropolis sucks.”

“Yes. Yes it does.”

→→→

[no escape]

The camera peered out slowly from behind a clothing display. Bruce was surrounded by enthusiastic and friendly women. It was impossible to tell what they were talking about.

→→→

[???]

Bruce was holding a dress up against himself. The women around him seemed delighted and were nodding their approval.

→→→

[i’ll strike while he’s distracted]

Tim dropped another two four-movie collections of Shrek on top of the considerable pile he’d already amassed. He panned up to check that Bruce had not caught him before grabbing another.

→→→

[busted]

While Bruce put DVDs back on the shelf, Tim surreptitiously grabbed a Shrek coloring book.

→→→

[he’s gonna get a fish]

Bruce was frowning at the wall of fishtanks in silence. Finally he said, “These fish are very unhealthy.”

→→→

[HE’S BUYING ALL THE FISH]

The man attempting to help Bruce looked baffled. Bruce gestured to the entire display of fish with a nod. The man shook his head. Tim brought his phone close to a betta, blue and red with a tattered and graying tail.

“We’re here to save you,” Tim stage-whispered to it.

→→→

Bruce was now engrossed in conversation with multiple employees.

“—if I bought some tanks — they’re much too small but as a temporary measure — we could transfer them directly and it might be less distressing for the fish.”

“Maybe I could get one of the big dolly carts from the back?” one young man suggested.

→→→

The low camera angle suggested Tim was trying to be surreptitious.

“—for trying to unionize is completely against the law,” Bruce was saying, his voice low. He was helping three other employees transfer fish into large plastic tanks.

“At-will employment,” one woman said.

“We’d have to prove that was why they fired us,” someone clarified. “Otherwise they can say it was for no reason.”

“You’re shitting me.”

→→→

“—fucking with my hours hoping I’ll quit.”

“What? Why?”

“If they fired me, they’d have to pay unemployment.”

“That’s why they won’t let me work full-time.”

“What the fuck.”

→→→

[omg he’s stealing the employees now]

“—in Gotham, but there’s more opportunities outside of manufacturing if you’re willing to move.”

“Wait, so do you mean like for management?”

“No, no, that’s the starting wage for someone working assembly, quality control, that kind of thing. We’re all unionized, none of this at-will bullshit.”

“So if I—”

→→→

The woman from earlier was showing Bruce her phone while the others continued moving fish.

“You painted this?” Bruce asked. She nodded. “That’s fantastic. Are you showing it anywhere? I know a guy with a gallery — actually I know pretty much everyone with an art gallery in Gotham. I think I have a friend who’d really love this, if you don’t mind me making some calls for you.”

→→→

Four more employees had joined the menagerie.

“—almost always hiring in Gotham. People are always moving to cities with fewer evil clowns.” Everyone laughed. Tim snorted. “Employee insurance totally covers acts of supervillainy, though.”

→→→

[trying to crush the revolution]

The employees had not dispersed. In the distance, someone managerial was talking to Bruce. He looked much less amused than Bruce did.

→→→

[THEY CALLED THE COPS]

Tim had switched to the selfie camera, his face pure glee. He turned bodily to show the employees wheeling out tanks of fish out of the store, police lights in the parking lot.

“The manager tried to make Bruce leave but he insisted on paying for his fish and he wouldn’t stop giving people better jobs so the guy said it was corporate espionage and threatened to call the cops and Bruce called his bluff so he did it.”

→→→

[WE’RE BANNED FROM WALMART FOREVER]

Bruce was laughing with the police officers about something. The manager from earlier had been joined by men in suits. None of them looked happy. Some of the employees from earlier were yelling and flipping them off. One man pulled off the shirt of his uniform and started setting it on fire.

→→→

Bruce was on the phone in the parking lot.

“They’re small, most of them are tropical. You can figure out what they are when you get here. How is that racist? I’m not suggesting you already know them, I’m well aware you don’t personally know every single fish—”

→→→

“Either you take these fish or I toss them in the sewer and Killer Croc can eat them. It will be a merciful death compared to what they were getting. It doesn’t matter where I found them.”

→→→

[i’m not allowed near toxic waste]

Tim held the betta from earlier in front of his phone, bringing it dangerously close to Bruce’s face. Bruce had hung up, but seemed to be dialing another number.

“I’m keeping this one,” Tim said.

“Fine.”

“If I drop him in toxic waste do you think he’ll get powers?”

“We’ve already had this discussion.”

→→→

[the pettiest man in gotham]

Bruce was on the phone again, looking out at the empty field beside the Walmart parking lot.

“Yeah, just buy the whole thing. Yeah. Absolutely sure. Green Market’s doing good, we’ll build another one of those. Can we put up a billboard while it’s under construction? A really big billboard.”

→→→

“First of all, if it’s in writing, it’s libel. Second, figures taken directly from their report to shareholders aren’t defamatory. What’s the most they could even sue me for? See, that’s nothing. Bad PR for them, good for us, it's—”

→→→

Tim had switched to the selfie camera again, and was using a sparkling purple filter that made his eyes look huge. He backed into Bruce so that Bruce’s face would be in the shot. “Bruce, look! You’re a pretty pretty princess!”

Bruce raised an eyebrow as he looked at his face on the screen. “I’m always a pretty princess,” he said seriously.

→→→

[he picked the music this time]

Bruce was driving again. He was listening to 100 Little Curses without any apparent irony. This did not mean there wasn’t any irony.

→→→

[i named him wally]

The Walmart betta was now in a tank that held at least a hundred gallons. His underwater castle was resplendent. His tail had grown in, a shimmering gradient of red and blue. Bruce could be seen in the background through the tank, sitting on the couch and reading a book.

[extremetanning]

[dendropsyche-deactivated2022082]

Like, I knew shepherding was a boring job

but these guys really had nothing better to do

[banahbanah]

some days i really love that humans exist

[ohgodsalazarwhy]

holy shit

[warpthruster]

ladies and gents, the welsh 

[fuckingchrisevans-deactivated20]

this is one of the few reasons I’m proud I was born in wales

[melinaaaaaaaaaa-deactivated2016]

WONDERFUL.

[sw-or-gtfo-deactivated20211219]

My hobbies are meaningless.

[workingitinportland-deactivated]

THOSE ARE THE SMARTEST AND COOLEST DOGS EVER

[elletromil]

@suupaakaa REGARDES ÇA LIVE

[writerofblocks]

IM CRYING THIS IS SO GOOD???

[joasakura]

If i don’t reblog this, assume I’m dead

[kaldannan]

Oh my fucking god. I didn’t know I needed this in my life until now.

[katzedecimal]

Well now I know what I want to do when I retire.

[agent-thirtmeme]

im so happy holy shit

[sleeping-raven]

Humans are weird

Although most modern humans don’t realise they do it, their ability to imitate the sounds of prey in an effort to trap them is well known and feared. This ability to mimic surrounding fauna has caused the more auditorily based species to avoid humans all together.

However it has also recently been documented that this habit may be used as a sign of leisure or an attempt at forming social bonds. Often times when a human recruit first joins a team they will be found trying to imitate the passive sounds of the various surrounding species aboard the vessel. While this has been recorded as a territorial or threat display in the past it is more often the case that individual ships will change this trait in their species logs to “passive behavior”. These ships cite that, when interviewed, their human workers reported that they “are trying to get closer to their teammates” or simply “find the sounds beautiful, and wish to reproduce them”.

[wulfskadi-deactivated20180423]

Space orc Application process

So, I’ve been reading a lot of these humans are space orcs posts and while they are entertaining it got me thinking.  What if the first person to come into contact with aliens was an uber-space-orc.  Someone who’s been climbing trees since they were four, hikes mountains for fun, sings random pieces of dialogue and just loooves to wrestle with all the cute wittle death beasts he finds on hostile planets.  At first the Aliens are like, look at this species, they haven’t even invented gravitronics yet.  Then they leave him for dead on a mission and he comes back to base with his arm in a sling covered in three different types of blood and are like “daaang, humans are tough.”  Slowly these aliens start to pick up on all the human’s weird habits and hear about all the weird places he’s been to on his planet like the dreaded Texas where the heat can make you pass out or the horrid planes of Albany where the snow piles up to your waist like fluffy cold quicksand for months on end.  Throughout their time this one human just keeps getting weirder and weirder, socializing with members of other species, climbing ceiling beams, attaching spatulas to various cleaning devices etc.

Then the aliens finally decide that humans are just too useful to waste and they move to bring them into the inter-galactic alliance or whatnot citing the crazy human who survived being mauled by a Kagrazan and then hiked ten miles back to the landing site as evidence.

Meanwhile on earth, all the deskjob people are talking about how their most recent space shuttle to mars went missing and how “its a shame and all, but at least we don’t have to deal with that weird guy who wrestled a bear once.”

Then the aliens come to earth with the astronaut and explain that they want more humans to bolster their crews and every government on earth simultaneously realizes that the only reason they are being given a seat at the table is because aliens think EVERY human is as terrifyingly weird as that astronaut.  Suddenly they’re all scrambling to find movies  and culture to throw at the aliens to keep up the illusion for as long as possible.  Scouters start going around the country trying to recruit crazy “I think I’ll climb that mountain today” people to send into space.  

Interview processes start forming, sifting through thousands of candidates all now displaying proudly the oddities that they previously hid behind academic certifications and letters of recommendation.  

Cultural shifts change to encourage activities previously seen as reckless or dangerous such as climbing or sprinting down hallways.  Parkour gyms soar in popularity.  Impulsiveness changes from being discouraged to being the norm.  “But what makes you odd?”  becomes a standard interview question.

Eventually a new social class forms consisting of oddballs and outcasts who talk too loud, run too fast and get thrown into space.

Forgive me if this post isn’t perfect I’m not that good of a writer

[uudenpaskanhaju]

I want to hire literally everyone who has contributed even slightly to the Space Orcs and Space Australians tags to make a video game in which you literally just Dick around in a colonized Galaxy and terrorize the locals as a human in first person. Also community made ships. I want high intelligence AI for the aliens and for there to be role playing element to it. This is literally just an idea in the wind so wink wink indie/Triple A developers FUCKING PICK THIS IDEA UP.

[theredscreech]

No, no, no, this is amazing!! Let’s go deeper!

YOUR AVATAR: Based on things you choose for your avatar, everything from physical to emotional to personality, the game responds accordingly.

Example, you’re 5′0″ tall - you get to freak aliens out when the engines fail and no one can get into the engine room, except you through the vents because you’re only five freaking feet tall and barely weigh 115 lbs. Problem: you’re not an engineer but you have to find a way in there and get the doors clear so the engineers CAN get in there, otherwise everyone’s gonna die!

The game CREATES situations based on who you are/have chosen to be, so an avatar who’s a forty-year-old, black man and CMO on his ship is going to have a very different gaming experience from an avatar who’s a sixteen-year-old girl from India who’s instigating trade agreements/negotiations with other planets - and that’s only IF they clicked ‘yes’ to a specific field or position. We could literally have a whole bunch of avatars running all over kingdom-come just for the giggles!

I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO SKILL IN DEVELOPING ANY KIND OF SOFTWARE FOR THIS KIND OF STUFF. SOMEONE GET ON THIS!! Please?

[uudenpaskanhaju]

I LIKE THIS KEEPS THE IDEAS COMING

[theredscreech]

Okay. Ideas. Here we go:

You’ve identified your avatar as an extrovert and social butterfly - congratulations, you’re on the list for special invitees to elite parties where everything from hostage situations to lasting friendships with emperors take place.

You’ve identified your avatar as curious and a quick learner - you get to explore different worlds and learn new languages. This can be done either on cargo or exploratory vessels or both!

You’re courageous and reckless - you help save your crewmates after a crash (which you caused).

You’re conscientious and shy - your crewmates adore you because you go out of your way to put their needs and wants before yours. This also creates general confusion because they don’t understand that their happiness makes you happy. That being said, when pirates take the ship, your crewmates go absolutely nuts when that one pirate punches you because NO ONE TOUCHES OUR PRECIOUS HUMAN!! WE WILL RIP YOUR ARMS OFF!!

Positive and negative personality traits will also either create or nullify situations, especially when used in specific combinations. You can create as many avatars as you want to unlock certain situations/levels.

[devilshornrandom]

Also your avatar shouldn’t just consist your height and haircolor. You can say how good your eyesight is, and if you need glasses (which you could lose at some point in the game) you can add them. And hairdye and coloured contacts to freak your alien friend out. Further, what about that post from ‘walking through memory’. At some point in the game you are in a familiar place, but the light goes off and you have to find the way relying on your memories.

[rave-in-my-dreadnought]

The Beginning of the game should reflect your character, like starting in a prison cell for being too violent, or waking up on a normal morning only for shit to get serious real fast. For the prison escape you cause a riot and get to the landing platform with your prison buddies and have to choose a ship. Each ship decides the fates of your friends and how you start the game. Steal the Wardens yacht and one of your friends gets arrested by local authorities but you get an economic head start after selling it. Choosing the pod-dropship lands you on a mostly wild and uncolonized planet with one of your friends sacrificing themselves as bait while you escape to the planet. Choosing the fighter means that you abandon your friends but you now have a battle ready ship which can’t be fracked since fighters are easy to steal. Choose the Corvette and you will have to fight through a blockade and depending on how well you do, the more of your friends survive.

[rave-in-my-dreadnought]

In addition: Human factions. For instance a part of the galaxy is under the control of all of Humanity, this section is split into several varying sub categories of humans who each interact with the Galaxy differently. Depending on what faction you belong to changes how aliens and other humans perceive you. If you belong to a faction largely controlled by companies you aren’t completely respected. If you don’t belong to a faction you are considered a wanderer by the galaxy and you do not benefit from any perks but you also do not lose any perks either. Being a high ranking official in a faction lets you play a more political style compared to that of a factionless adventurer/wanderer who can leave any solar system whenever they please to go fight asteroid worms for a quick buck.

[ex-bookjunky]

@theterrorsofspacehumans

[am-i-the-last-dreamer]

Imagine mmorpg.

A stabby roomba walks you through character creation, not to mention when you earn a rare skill.

Inevitably, no matter what choices are made, you find an alien who thinks humans are the cutest thing. There are three choices- Stock up on wierd merch to sell off later School said alien on the topic of respect Or gift the alien with 5 minutes of your presence/tolerance/autograph, which will lead to the discovery of an earthling pet shop. This is the only way to get a dog, cat, or bird.

You can adopt species from other planets. Adopt a fierce enough creature and it will defend you (as much as its stats allow) from any hostiles

All aliens believe dragons and dinosaurs are real. Players cannot change this.

Crewmates level up a bit by bonding with each other. Humans get a bonus.

Adrenaline boosts stats temporarily

Political players get negotiation bonuses, and are more capable than aliens at deceiving others (Theres a post out there about hiding emotion. Its the one ending with “10 yrs costomer service.”)

Memes are misunderstood. Constantly. They become a comunication technique and you can rickroll listeners on any coms device at any time. (Pls dont)

You can choose a few habbits. They are commented on and admired/feared

Stabby roomba bumping around is the loading screen

Idk these ideas work both mmorpg and rpg

[everythinggoeswrong]

Let’s dive into combat.

You have the choice of picking one weapon at the start of the game and as you progress you gain more efficient guns, spears, and other weapons.

Your characters fighting style depends on their traits. If there thin and short they tend to do dodge attacks and are the most proficient at light weaponry (pistols and knifes) excluding when they are on adrenaline, then they can handle big guns for a short time. Big muscled characters fight witch giant guns and are good at fighting with their fists, adrenaline makes them quite terrifying.

You are able to take lessons for combat and shooting at certain points in the game.

There are cases were some aliens just run away from you in fear of their lives, you can choose to attack them or not.

If you have an alien or other living being that you have a good bond with by your side when you are fighting your abilities go up by 25%

When you have pets by your side they will defend you against attacks.

That’s all I have right now

[excarow]

Special quests:

The more you complete certain tasks (that differ per job and skill set) you can gain reputatikn points. The more reputation points you have, the higher chance of activating a special quest.

Each quest would vary from species, to the description, some are traps as well. Better to take someone with you tgan go alone

If you successfully complete the task, you become better friends with the species and they will help you out. Can range from giving you items, information, advice etc.

[tosety]

As a pilot or engineer, you can choose to name and/or talk to the machines you work with, which boosts their performance over time

[yayroos]

This is incredible and I want to offer my coding and project organizing hours to this if people want to make it happen

ok we have a discord with everything we need to get started. Artists and coders are especially important but everyone’s welcome to join in and help out :)

https://discord.gg/t2ZfvHj

come say hi :)

[earthisspaceaustralia]

Anyone interested?

[thewhiteboardofrassilon]

Hey friends. We already have a few people but we could always have more. Particularly those who are willing to lend their talents in 3d modeling and animation, especially for people and creature designs. This game is going to be a free open sourced community based project, so the more the merrier.

We could also use more people who know how to program (specifically in C# but any programming experience is good) and/or know how to work with Unity.

the link to the discord is https://discord.gg/t2ZfvHj.

[earthisspaceaustralia]

UPDATE

the link above has expired. If you want to join send me a dm. Please include your skills so we can get a good idea of who is joining.

[space-australians]

(Boosting and have deleted the older post)

[teaboot]

Humans are adorable.

Supporting evidence:

1. Humans say ‘ow’, even if they haven’t actually been hurt. It’s just a thing they say when they think they might have been hurt, but aren’t sure yet.

2. Humans collect shiny things and decorate their bodies and nests with them. The shinier the better, although each individual has a unique taste for style and colouring

3. Humans are not an aquatic or even amphibious species, but they flock to bodies of water simply to play in it. They can’t even hold their breath all that long; they just love to splash!

4. When night falls and the sky goes dark, humans become drowsy and begin to cocoon themselves in soft, fluffy bedding.

5. Some humans spend time in each other’s nests! Just for fun! It’s not their nest; they’re just visiting each other.

6. Some humans use pigments and dyes to make their bodies flashy and colourful! They even attach shiny dangly bits to their cartalidgous membranes!

7. Humans are very clever, and sometimes adopt creatures from other species into their family units. They don’t seem to notice the obvious differences, and often raise them alongside their own young!

8. If a human sees another creature in distress, they can commonly be observed trying to help! Even at their own risk, most humans are deeply compassionate creatures!

9. If a human hears a particularity catchy sound or tune, it will often mimic it, even to the point of annoying themselves!

10. Sneezes are entirely involuntary, and completely adorable. Especially when the human in question becomes frustrated

11. Humans love treats!!! Some more than others. Many humans will save these treats specifically for a later date when they are in need of comfort or reassurance. IE, pickles, pop tarts, Popsicles, etc

12. They’re learning to travel in space!!! They can’t get very far, but they’re trying!!! So far, they’ve made it to the end of their yard, and have found rocks

[shakespork]

this sounds like it was written by a really enthusiastic alien humanologist

[yettofindaname]

makes me think about Pleakley

[writing-prompt-s]

Four roommates are extraterrestrials who have taken human form in the hopes of learning about Earth’s culture. Unfortunately, each alien is from a different planet and believes the other three are normal humans.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I would read this

[ekjohnston]

OH MY GOD

[aaron2point0]

Starring Jack Black, The Rock, Jeff Goldblum and Taika Waititi 

[artemis69]

And Mads Mikkelsen, the human neighbour that is weird enough that all the aliens think he’s an alien too.

[byjove-cannibalcove]

they all are sure hes an alien and will go talk to him about how hard it is being an alien on earth, will even talk really frankly to him about it, but weirdly no matter what they say hes always like ‘oh yeah i can relate’

[sentimental-apathy]

It got about a thousand times better than the last time I reblogged this I think.

[thisisdefinitelyacreativename]

They find each other because one of them puts up an ad for PERFECLY NORMAL HUMAN ROOMMATES NEEDED and none of them know enough about earth culture to realize how weird that is

[thesnadger]

The roommates develop a close, loving friendship with each other while still not knowing that none of them are humans. They begin to feel some sadness at hiding their true nature from their dear “human” friends. 

Every now and them one will say something to kind of hint at the idea of aliens, trying to feel the others out. Unfortunately it often gets misinterpreted as trying to figure out if that person’s an alien and the response is usually paranoid and negative.

Unknown to any of the aliens, two of them are from different planets that have been at war with one another for centuries, and have been raised to believe inhabitants of the enemy planet are bloodthirsty monsters.

[rotsen-narud]

When they age enough to die or to give away their true nature to humans, they send a message to their respective race with all the intel they got on humans.

Humans detect those messages as radio signals that can’t decode. But they become more suspicious with time so alien roommates become uneasy, on their own, since “they are the only one” but the radio signals prove there are more of them in this planet. Who are they?

[play-read-write]

I’ve been seeing some of those posts about humans being “space orcs” again. The ones where humans are just insane compared to other space faring species, and it reminded me of something i’d considered humans are also bad for that other species might consider insane: “Close enough.”

What if other space faring species only got there through like, extreme accuracy. Everything is tested and retested and tested some more. Problems are BIG DEAL on a ship no matter how minor because they just aren’t supposed to happen. Math is done down to like a hundred places after a decimal for accuracy. All species are therefore absolutely confounded at the human’s ability to just throw things together and have it work. Malfunctions are much more common on a human ship, but only on human ships are they accounted for. The others just don’t have problems unless they encounter something unexpected, but when they do get a problem they have no clue how to fix it. Humans on the other hand can have a hole blown in their ship and repair it asap because it’s expected. 

This extends to everything that gets built too. When an alien house gets destroyed by weather they determine that place uninhabitable, but when it happens to a human house they just rebuild in the exact same spot. Its confusing as hell because they prepare so much that something having so many problems is inconceivable, yet they also can’t figure out how things that fail so easily also work so well. What would take a complete overhaul from ten people of an alien race gets fixed with “duct tape and elbow grease” by a single human. 

So pretty much to them humans are always driving around with their check engine light on and they have no idea how this reckless species can survive space travel.

[hideous-bastard-deactivated2021]

@space-australians

[promptguy]

Prompt guy, please tell me, what is the true meaning of the Internet?

Before I tell this you ought to know that this is classified information so reader discretion is advised. 

When extraterrestrial life learned about what we call ‘the internet’ they decided to come to earth.  Through the internet they could quickly learn about earth and so ultimately…destroy us. But because the oxygen in our atmosphere is basically poison to most aliens, they sent AIs.

That’s why the internet was made available to the public in 1983. So we could flood the internet with so much bullshit, that they simply don’t know how to eradicate us. 

Worthless articles, Cthulhu, memes… They are our last line of defense against the aliens.  

[messedupmoon]

@space-australians

[space-australians]

[witterprompts]

“Look, I had no idea vampires were real. Why would I have believed that?”

[caffeinewitchcraft]

“We only travel at night,” Jamie says. He looks around to Daria for support. “You’ve never seen either of us in daylight.”

Carmen scratches the back of her neck. “I thought maybe Daria was allergic to the sun or something. ‘Cause she’s so pale.”

Daria is looking at her like she’s never seen her before. “You’re a witch.”

“Duh,” Carmen says. “But just because I exist doesn’t mean you do. I mean, I’ve never seen any evidence of vampires before.

“We made you get rid of your silver jewelry,” Daria says.

“I thought that was because it’d attract muggers,” Carmen says. She shifts from foot to foot. “So I guess you guys aren’t drinking a lot of cranberry juice then?”

“No,” Jamie says flatly. “That’s blood.” He starts to say something else and stops. Raises a finger, opens his mouth, and deflates. Finally says, “What–what do you think we hired you for?”

“Well,” Carmen says, fiddling with her witch’s pouch around her waist, “in light of recent revelations, I’d rather not say.”

Daria and Jamie glance at each other. “I really think you need to say,” Daria says.

“Agreed,” says Jamie, folding his arms over his chest.

Carmen mumbles something under her breath.

“Extreme what?” Daria asks.

Carmen throws her hands up in the air. “Extreme LARPing okay? Live action roleplaying! I mean, what did you guys think when I stipulated no romantic relationships?” She looks mortified. “I told you guys my hard limits.”

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