Acquired Stardust
Claire Keane
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
tannertan36
hello vonnie
No title available
JVL
dirt enthusiast
Game of Thrones Daily
★
No title available
$LAYYYTER
Stranger Things
will byers stan first human second
noise dept.
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Misplaced Lens Cap
@theartofmadeline
Xuebing Du
if i look back, i am lost
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Chile
seen from Canada
seen from Australia
seen from United Kingdom
seen from T1
seen from Philippines
seen from Iceland
seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Spain
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Indonesia
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seen from Japan
seen from United Arab Emirates
seen from Canada
seen from United States
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@im-altor
One of my favorite things about loving someone or developing a closeness or fondness towards someone is also loving and developing a fondness for the things they care about. When you learn to see the world in a new way, or you learn to appreciate the things you’ve previously overlooked, or they become your excuse to get into an interest you always thought was cool but thought you didn’t have time for. When a connection makes your world bigger and warmer and fuller and more beautiful.
so hard not to become the most annoying person on earth if you're a little excitable and just learned a little about a topic literally no one around you has any interest in
what is it they put in the hardware store to make it smell so good
OK 👍 that is helps
popular canadian satire site the beaverton is expanding into micro-horror and it’s good
Step-by-step guide to wield a ‘Golden Cudgel’ like the Monkey King Sun Wukong by 襄阳梅子
I think it's cute when depictions of our solar system include earth's moon. Like yeah sure the moon's invited. We just like her
Like simplified models that don't have Literally Everything just the planets. And our moon #OurMoon
There was a young man from Peru
Whose limericks stopped at line two
There once was a man from Verdun
There once was a man from the sticks Whose limericks stopped at line six. They were fine till line five Then they took quite a dive — But the problem is easy to fix If you just ignore the last line, it doesn't even follow the rhyme scheme oh god I've really lost control of this thing I'm so sorry...
There once was a man
From Cork who got limericks
And haiku confused.
There once was a man from the sticks
Who liked to compose limericks
But he failed at the sport
Because he wrote them too short
@limerickshere
There once was a fellow named Dan, Whose poetry never would scan. When told this was so, He replied, "Yes, I know-- It's because I try to squeeze as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can."
Feels like Tumblr is the right audience for this one
Once I was doing fieldwork with someone from Europe and said “careful, there’s a rattlesnake over there.” And she rushed over like I’d said there was a quetzal.
I said “Ma’am please, we’re three hours from a hospital!” and she said
1.) I don’t understand how that can be
2.) But I’ve never done fieldwork from a car before (!!!) so I’ll take your word for it.
3.) Did you just call me ma’am? Like a cowboy?
We drove through the Los Angeles megacity together — and at one point were stuck in traffic.
“Heeeey”, she said, like someone gently broaching a topic I should have noticed, “Why does the lane next to us have diamond shaped symbols on it?”
That is! A subtle and friendly way of asking why we’re sitting in traffic when there’s a carpool lane Right There! I laughed and pulled into the lane and started driving.
Unfortunately. That isn’t what she was implying, she was genuinely asking. So we were stuck in traffic, she asked about what was clearly a breakdown or emergency access lane, and I laughed and started driving in it. She was Alarmed.
“Hello! Excuse me! We can’t drive in this lane! No one else is driving in this lane!!”
“Oh! I should have said — this lane is for people with more than one person in their car.”
“That is RIDICULOUS. You are lying. You are lying about what this lane is for and we’ll get arrested! (ma’am it’s fine but if it weren’t it would be more of a “ticket” situation) we’ll get a “ticket”! (Ma’am again it’s fine but were it not I alone would get the ticket) because that IS NOT the purpose of this lane. That is a RIDICULOUS lie.”
“I’m sorry, I should have said — I thought you were being subtle about my oversight. Please observe the carpool sign.”
“I don’t know what a carpool is and I don’t believe you.”
“How about you look at all the cars stuck in traffic and see how many have more than one driver, and if there are at least five I’ll get back into the traffic jam.”
“FINE!”
<a pause>
(With dawning horror) “none of these cars have more than one person in them.”
“I know.”
“None of these cars have more than one person!!”
“If you weren’t here I’d be right there with them.”
“OK but there was no train to where we needed to go.”
“There’s no train to where they needed to go either.”
“HOW.”
Later that day:
“I know McDonalds and Burger King sell Burgers, but what does Wendy’s sell?”
“Burgers”
“And Sonic?”
“Burgers.”
“Jack in the Box?”
“Burgers.”
“In’n’Out?”
“Look, It’s burgers all the way down.”
She hopped off a plane, went camping on Catalina with her husband and his lab, and then I showed her a rattlesnake, dragged her through heavy brush, took her (food) shopping in Beverly Hills, illustrated American car dependency and love of burger, and threatened to shoot someone trying to break into our hotel room. (I did not have a gun) She speed-ran the US American experience in eight days.
my greatest accomplishment in life is that I inadvertently made my friend break up with her shitty boyfriend by throwing her a really fucking awesome birthday party
okay so I fucking love event planning and decorating and hosting and baking, aka all the elements of a banger birthday party. I am so freaking happy to throw people parties because it means I get to throw a party, then go to a party! yippee!
so my friend's birthday rolled around and I knew she wanted a party because I'd done them for her before, but I wanted to make it extra special because she was turning the big 25. so I did all the regular stuff I am So Excited About: had her roommates let me into her apartment while she was out, put up balloons and homemade garlands and streamers and table decor, made her favorite cake and snack plates and cocktails, ordered catering from a restaurant she loves, got a bunch of our friends to come over to surprise her, wrote her a disgustingly heartfelt card, etc. and then because it was the big quarter century, I was like I gotta do something extra.
now. I do not like clowns. my friend loves clowns. we've gone to the circus together and she's seen me literally close my eyes and hide when the clowns are out in the audience, meanwhile she's screaming and waving at them. so obviously I hired a clown for her birthday. (btw seeing him out of clown costume made me less freaked out because now I knew that the guy under there looks like someone's uncle.)
so she showed up after work totally expecting a party because I'm too paranoid to throw a real surprise party, and obviously loved it. and then I was like btw. there's a clown.
she lost her mind. she was sooo excited. she loved the party and she loved the clown. I was like haha yes I'm getting a good grade in birthday parties and didn't think much of it because frankly I do this a lot, and it's so much fun for me that I don't consider it work. like, I love doing all that for my friends. it's not any kind of sacrifice.
two days later, she texted me that she broke up with her boyfriend.
naturally I was like omg tell me everything I hated that guy let's get coffee. so we did and she told me that for her birthday, her boyfriend of nine months 1) forgot about it and didn't get her anything, 2) got mad at her for not texting him while she was at her party, 3) got mad at her for telling him about the party because it was "passive aggressive", and 4) called her immature and stupid for being excited about a clown at her birthday.
this was all very in character for him. but she'd just come from a lovely birthday party full of her friends who love her and want to put effort into making a nice day for her, where her friend who hates clowns hired a clown just to make her happy even though the party alone would've been plenty. and suddenly this wasn't a boyfriend being kinda forgetful and lazy, it was a glaring incongruity with everyone else in her life. so she finally dumped his ass. and I was soooo freaking happy. so clowns can be good.
that relationship was already over, she didn’t even bring her boyfriend to her birthday party at her own apartment
actually it's worse than that! she knew there would be a party, but not what day. I invited her boyfriend to the party. he said no.
Me, tears streaming down my face, sobbing, as I stare at the stars: it’s just so beautiful
The medieval peasant I went back in time to give a bag of Doritos to, concerned: what terrible and powerful sorcerers they must have in your age, to be able to veil the vault of heaven itself from view, as you say
Me, sniffling: I didn’t realize, I can’t, it’s so much, I, I… are the chips good, at least?
Medieval peasant, trying to make me feel better: they’re… magical, strange traveler
ok well we’re bringing that back obviously
me latibulating
@zoesupreme
left out the most important moment
truly the most american thing is Big Drink. more than late stage capitalism, more than an unparalleled cultural focus on individualism, more than 9/11 jokes
what binds all americans together culturally is Big Drink
and you might be saying "is this fat shaming" or "but mayor bloomberg outlawed Big Drink in nyc" or "gays are so annoying about their iced coffee" or some other dumb comment but no open your minds, Big Drink isn't just sugary or caffeinated beverages
every day i see one of you hydration bitches (affectionate) on the train with a water bottle so big a toddler could drown in it. that too is Big Drink. we literally invented a bigger beer can (tall boy) in wisconsin in the 60s in the service of Big Drink
anyway i never feel more american then when i have Big Drink in my hands
Honestly the revelation that Brits don't use ice in their drinks fully explains why they think American drink sizes are too big. They genuinely aren't accounting for the volume of ice in the drink.
Of course, you have the option of not getting ice, especially if you're using a self-service station, but if you order via the drive-thru or the digital kiosk, typically it automatically comes with ice.
And also, you of course always have the option to order a water.
