Holding Grudges Makes You Fat

Well hello! I'm Eliza and I'm pretty eclectic so you'll find all kinds of stuff here! 20| Pisces|Nerd|Lovably Awkward

[finns-poe]

#Finnpoe warriors how does it feel to win all the time

[theglowpt2-deactivated20200101]

[cryptidquinn-deactivated2021071]

when im playing out a daydream scenario in my head and i catch myself trying to rush to The Good Part™:

[amateur]

[non-newtoniangenderfluid]

Fuck you I’ll reblog it cuz it’s an elephant strawberry I need no other reason

[kindlydoakirb-deactivated202106]

It’s an elephant strawberry. That’s already magical enough.

[exalt-magolor]

*elephant sound*

[soniciscool1999]

Wut the hell.

[wowdeathwouldbenice]

guys did you hear that elephant noise

[brie-news]

Brie Larson + Instagram

[destiny-islanders]

If there was a way to run SUPER MEGA AD BLOCKER on this website I fucking would

[celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725]

“Please oh please open up your computer to a porn virus! If you don’t you’re evil!”

[history-student-against-antis]

Freeloader Comin’ through!

[moonlight-fox]

We didn’t start this war internet users have with ads - We might have moaned about banner ads, but it was only when they started making noises when we might be listening to music or a podcast or whatever, causing two sound sorces at once, that we started trying to block ads universally rather than just a specific type of ad (pop ups).

And since then ads have gotten worse - Actual malware rather than merely breaking one of the fundamental sins of web design - though shalt not autoplay anything with sound. And the more aggressive a website is with ‘please turn off adblock’ the less I trust it to bother to vet ads and advertisers to make sure they’re not installing malware.

[bramblepatch]

Not to mention that the idea that avoiding ads is “freeloading” is hilariously backward. Advertisement is a transaction between the platform and the advertiser, the user has no obligation to provide the views/clicks the platform has promised. Using an adblocker isn’t freeloading in the same way that leaving the room to get a snack during a commercial break isn’t cheating the tv network.

[pocosun]

Ok y’all, I work as a web developer and I’m here to tell you that you are 100% right and that it’s shit. SO I’m going to tell you how to get around websites that block you from using their website if you’re using an adblocker. 

Every website uses a language called JavaScript; long story short it’s a website language that allows developers to do the crazy shit you see on websites. Now the easiest thing to do is to disable JavaScript to stop them from knowing you have an adblocker:

Oh no! I’m blocked from viewing the website. It would be a terrible shame if I were able to right click and select the “inspect” feature

Click the three dots in the top right and open the “Settings” Menu

And then scrolled down to “Debugger” and checked the “Disable Javascript Option”

And then just refreshed the page

[eggfucker1]

Reblogging to save my life

[originaldoll99]

why

[mxnrique]

LET HER SPEAK

[purified-zone]

i knew working 500 jobs and getting 3,000 masters degrees wasnt the healthiest way to live

[emeebee]

Hey calm down. It’s incredible. Barbie talks about feeling pressure to be happy all the time but she isn’t and she gives the little kids watching this reassurance that their feelings are valid. It’s really really cool.

She also addresses other important things in her vlogs like the reflex lots of girls have to apologize for things even when they aren’t your fault and her sister Stacie’s trouble with shyness and a bully and how maybe sometimes it’s best to just walk away from bullies and standing up for your dreams and the dream gap and the harm that “it was just a joke” does.

She also does silly things and food challenges and stuff but she also talks about more serious topics and it’s wonderful. 

[aqueerkettleofish]

We do not disrespect Barbie in this house.

[fishyandclintbarton]

We stan an icon.

[unfocused-overwriter]

At the peak of my 13-year-oldness, I wrote a Hunger Games fic in which a former tribute (who won, obviously) had to watch her two kids being reaped the same year, and for extra drama, the organizer made her their mentor. The fic alternated between flashbacks to her own Games with the allies she made and saw die, and the fact that eventually she would have to choose which of her kids to save (or just straight up abandon both to the arena).

So far so good right?

Except the year was 2012. It was a songfic.

And the song I chose? The chorus to Nicky Minaj’s STARSHIPS.

"Starships" being the name her group of allies was given by the viewers. "Let’s do this one more time" was unironically the saddest line in the fic.

[crumch]

OP where is the fic

[effervescentbi]

valkyrie + arm appreciation

[zeekayart]

1999 CGI mouse vs 2019 CGI hedgehog

[osm-rhodey]

OKAY BUT HONESTLY! WHY ARE WE REGRESSING? WHAT HAPPENED?

[saintdollyparton]

The Detective Pikachu movie consumed all the power and there wasn’t any left for Sonic. And honestly I’m okay with that.

[legalizevore]

my dad guillermo laying it out

[terror-billie]

His table is piled high with food he will never touch but he will kill you for taking the smallest morsel, even if you are starving

shit how did I completely miss the point of this part

[martunamajor]

Also, his eyes aren’t in his head. They’re in his hands. He only sees what he reaches for, what he desires, what he wants.

[king-in-yellow]

[lazulisong]

PUU WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT CAT COMING FOR MY IMMORTAL SOUL OR WHAT

[acreaturecalledgreed]

this is an exceptionally powerful pair of creatures

[beachgothgay]

[annerocious]

Dear Men Writers

Lesser known facts when writing women:

High heeled shoes don’t become flats if you break the heels off.

The posts of earrings aren’t sharp.

Nail polish takes a long time to dry and smudges when wet.

You can’t hold in a period like pee.

Inserting a tampon is not arousing or sexual in any way, ever.

Feel free to add your own.

[deliciouspineapple]

- Bras leave red marks on the skin under and around boobs and it is a magical experience when taken off.

- Make up can take anywhere from 5 to 25 minutes depending on how skilled you are.

- Taking hair out of a ponytail after wearing it for hours does not make it perfectly straight when it comes down.

- Hair when wet sticks to the skin it no longer flows, idiot.

-When women with long hair kiss, turn around, do anything, their hair falls in the way.

- Stockings are itchy and tear like wet paper bags.

[ivegotthetriforce]

- Pantyhose, tights, leggings, and stockings are each different. - Waxing hurts and leaves red skin for a while afterwards while shaving leaves stubble - Most can’t run in heels unless they have been VERY worn - Insecurity in appearance doesn’t mean “buy me a drink” - EVERYONE HAS DIFFERENT TASTES IN EVERYTHING

[drmistytang]

-Having large breasts sucks. It sucks beyond belief.  If a garment happens to fit your large chest, odds are it won’t fit the rest of you. Underboob sweat is real and terrible. Bending over for extended periods of time will tweak your back out. Running can be painful due to boob turbulence. Bras are hella expensive. Big breasts are not fun.

[angryschnauzer]

Putting a tampon in isnt a quick bend-poke-done kinda deal. It involves cubicle yoga, messy hands, numerous curse words as you realise it isnt in correctly and have to take it out and start again with a new one.

[cassiopeiassky]

Yes to all of this.  But also:

If her hair is in an updo, one does not simply remove a hairpin to send her hair cascading down her back.  No.  If her hair is an updo, it will take at least an hour and an extra set of hands to remove the 137 bobby pins that are holding her hair in place.  Furthermore, there’s probably a can’s worth of hairspray in there, intended to withstand category 2 hurricane winds.  There’s no cascading happening here - the best you can hope for is a misshapen nest of hair to clump and poof unattractively in the back while it still remains flat against her scalp.

[marvel-lucy]

This is one of the funniest posts I’ve seen in a while (especially if you read all the comments), but also really depressing because at 42 I still judge myself as having failed for not matching up to all these mythical stereotypes despite knowing they’re impossible

[valeria2067]

^^^This though

[musicalhell]

The odds of a woman having smoothly shaved legs and armpits are directly proportional to the amount of skin her clothing bares and/or the amount of fucks she gives at that particular moment.

GLASSES ARE NOT COSMETIC.  If we whip them off, we do not become gorgeous fashion models.  We become squinty.

[thatsnicebutimmarried]

-most women wear bras. Yes, even when they are trying to dress sexy. Because bras make boobs look perkier and rounder, which is something men apparently find sexy, so being a seductress or femme fatale is not an automatic reason for a female character to not be wearing a bra.

-a good bra will hide headlights, or at the very least drastically reduce their noticeability. A women with enough pointy nipple issues will opt for a padded or molded bra to hide them.

-women’s nipples do not automatically become hard pyramids visible through any and all layers of clothing the second they become even slightly aroused. They are not the female equivalent of boners. And even if their nipples do get hard, the bras they are almost certainly wearing (because even a goddamn succubus with big, honkin’ knockers for seducing men is gonna have those painful puppies in some kind of boob sling) should keep those pointy nipples from being visible to every other character in the scene, JIM BUTCHER. YES, EVEN LARA RAITH WOULD WEAR A BRA ONCE IN A GODDAMN WHILE.

[eldriitchmurmurs]

if you’re being tied up and tortured in a freezing underground dungeon, then you probably have more important things to pay attention to than how hard somebody’s nipples are, jim butcher

[jabberwockypie]

- Wearing a bra that doesn’t fit HURTS.  It’s not sexy to wear a bra that’s “two sizes too small”, it’d make your clothes hang oddly and you’d have a weird, uncomfortable “quad-boob” effect and your back would hurt, BEN AARONOVITCH.

[phantoms-lair]

Also, after removing a too small bra, there’s gonne be angry red lines on the boobs and ribs and the lady is not going to want them to be touched by anyone for a good long while

[everystarstorm]

-Not all women wear heels. Those things hurt and are hard to balance in. They can also mess up your feet and back pretty bad.

[hattedhedgehog]

-Lips aren’t just naturally red “as if she’d been drinking wine but they were just like that without makeup cause she’s so perfect,” my dear little Kvothe from ‘Name of the Wind’. Also, girls do not naturally smell like fruit or flowers, it’s either perfume or something she’d been eating recently.

[generalistherbalist]

I’ve been appreciating this post but now it’s back very specifically calling out my problematic faves and I don’t think those male authors realize how much it totally takes me out of the story for a moment when they commit these errors. It does nothing useful for the plot and is annoying for half of the audience

[lmorasey-deactivated20230917]

Is it weird that I’m female and wasn’t aware of a solid third of these?

[infinitelyblankpage]

I mean, all writes take note. I basically live in man land when it comes to protagonists so I don’t know half these things despite being a woman

[furryarbiterangel]

(Most) Women do not look at themselves in the mirror and compare their breasts to fruit. Any sort of fruit. Especially melons. Please save us from the melons.

Also we are not aware of our breasts at all times. I do not walk down a flight of stairs and think “oh golly my breasts are bouncing so much right now”. They are as much as natural part of our bodies as arms. Do you constantly think about how your arms are moving? Sure you may be aware of them, but paying full attention? Doubtful.

[dukeofbookingham-deactivated202]

Also: women working out are almost never sexy. They’re not glowing or glistening or (kill me) *sparkling*. They are red and sweaty and gross just like all the dudebros doing their time with the dumbbells. Stop ogling fictional women at the gym, TOM WOLFE.

[kerolunaticat]

I love this post.

[galadrieljones]

I never understood why men feel the need to address all this telltale “feminine” awareness when writing women. Like once in grad school one of my male colleagues wrote from a female character’s POV and was like sure to notice how her feet felt in high heels and all the women’s lifestyle magazines on the coffee table and also that like, her breasts were “heavy” or some shit. I write male characters all the time. Not once have I ever stopped to make sure they notice the weight of their own balls or been hyper aware of their chest hair or some bullshit like that. ????? why????????

[dusterthedopop-deactivated20250]

Love this. I’ve been cackling to myself for good 20 mins reading all the comments as well but the last reblog had me dying like can you imagine!!

“Chad was late. He had an important meeting to get to and was mad at himself for oversleeping.

He quickly washed and brushed his teeth and then ran downstairs, his balls bouncing playfully in his pants.

Do I have time to make a coffee? he thought. He decided he did so went into the kitchen and switched the kettle on. As he was waiting, he noticed his thick, curly chest hair was poking through the button gaps of his shirt. He giggled to himself and tucked his manly fuzz back in, hoping it wouldn’t happen during the meeting.”

Men, do you see how jarring and stupid this is!?

[leeholtwrites]

I once told a new writer, Male, never to mention boobs. Just don’t try. He actually took that advice. Writing immediately less creepy.

[stagnantwater447-8995]

teacher: hey you are failing your classes idiot

student: you know what teach? i dont give a swag *walks out*

that student.. as you may have already guessed.. was albert einstein

[laurbyboom]

um..i think you made this up for notes?

[stagnantwater447-8995]

first of all, how dare you

[deejay]

Reblog if you need this energy

[00807x]

[beautifulterriblequeen]

It’s been like three thousand years and they still haven’t figured it out.

[gemsona-hq]

[black-nata]

whoever said scooby doo isn’t intellectual: explain this then