I.A

BPD. PTSD. Scorpio. Musicophile. Poet. Thoughts of my lost soul.

[innateapathy]

She’s cut herself The blood pools & Trickles down her arms Staining the tissue She’s laid below She feels disconnected Like she’s watching herself She’s living it She just can’t feel it

[robertjw4688]

I'm jumping

from every ledge I can,

trying to find inner peace

in infinite depths.

Defective dialectics

drift on useless coping.

Hope loses itself

in the noise

and I'm growing too tired

to find it.

[robertjw4688]

(I don't often get into my personal life on here often aside from the poetry I write about it. But yesterday was one of the roughest days I've had in years. I almost did something bad to myself. I'm better now. This poem is about that experience.)

I'm sweating through acid skin

as reality fissures

in the foaming mouth of a lie.

Hell is disrespectful

and Heaven tilts

on an open vein.

I swear for the millionth time

that this is the end

but a cocktail

of spite and hope

is running through me

like humanity

rushing back to the sea.

Robert J. W.

[i-will-recover-tomorrow]

[innateapathy]

The shadows cling, I know they do,

And heavy feels the world to you.

But even night must let dawn through

A gentle strength will see you bloom

This moment's weight is not your all

A brighter day will heed your call

Hold softly to the hope inside

And know you're not alone.

[innateapathy]

I'm breathing fine.

Yet this constricting desperation

Within my chest

Feels like I'm suffocating.

Gasping, pleading for just a breath.

Held captive in the grave

I hold the shovel

I want to be free

Why can't I coexist with myself.

[sanddollarpoems]

I wish I had it in me to fly again.

These wings have become

more decorations than anything;

more like metaphors than useful things.

I wish I had it in me to fly again.

I miss soaring over the tree tops,

but I've become scared of heights,

and it's too dangerous to fly at night now.

But I wish I had it in me to fly again.

[i-will-recover-tomorrow]

You hold yourself so well, people would never suspect you're going through hell.

[robertjw4688]

I drag myself from

the ledge with a warm embrace.

I learn to love me.

Robert J. W.

[innateapathy]

I'm hollow.

This bitterness overwhelms me,

Filling up in my chest;

Like a faucet I can't turn off.

I'm screaming, pleading, begging.

Just let me breathe.

[the-hollow-quiet]

some of us were

born into this world

in a state of abandonment

and over and over again

we feel like it was something

about us which causes others

to leave, and so, we understand

what it is to be alone because

everyone refused to stay—

everyone decided, we simply

aren’t worth the effort of

staying.

—The Hollow Quiet

[martyr0l0gy]

bpd is actually the worst because i thought i was having a good day, and then suddenly i feel myself sinking into that dark inescapable pit at the root of my soul

[innateapathy]

I want to be happy today.

Why is that so much to ask for?

[innateapathy]

I have no one I can talk to.

No one to bare my inner soul to.

No one to hide behind when I'm scared.

Of all these people that say they love me.

There's not one I can reach out to.

Not one who sees that I'm drowning.

No one who'll try and save me.

Will they at least mourn me?

[lamictaltears]

Borderline

Definition: (adj.) barely acceptable in quality or as belonging to a category; on the borderline.

I do not know the difference

between dark and light;

war and peace;

or absent and present. 

There is no gray area

for someone like me. 

Because I, myself,

am the borderline. 

I am either

content and euphoric

or paranoid and depressed. 

Never in the middle. 

I do not choose my emotions,

but I choose how I react. 

I will never take my anger out

on a friend or stranger. 

I will never let my sadness

affect those around me.

Instead, I will let these emotions

eat me from the inside out. 

They will burn in my chest

and cause stabbing headaches.

Yet I still ensure 

that my suffering is silent.

But I will share

my happiness and hobbies

with the people I love.

I will put on a mask

and make sure that they are okay;

because that is how I was raised.

[innateapathy]

I have no place in this home.

Voices traveling through the walls.

No one talks to me.

Hidden in this room alone.

Alone, alone, always alone.

[innateapathy]

I JUST NOTICED THIS IN THE ENDING!! 😪

Please bring Akutagawa back to life so Dazai can tell him He is Worthy.