wallacepolsom
todays bird
Kiana Khansmith
One Nice Bug Per Day
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Mike Driver
macklin celebrini has autism
izzy's playlists!
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sheepfilms
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cherry valley forever
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official daine visual archive
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@inshanely
I can’t do Hollanov divorce bc I genuinely believe that neither Shane Or Ilya would let the divorce happen. Some truly diabolical things would occur if divorce was ever on the table, the way they would both lose all sense of correct behavior in the face of separation. Trust.
scruffy brothers in small town diners forever!!!
this took about eight years to colour
hollanov honeymoon scenes
& Ilya & Alexei will always be brothers. No matter how far away Ilya moves or how hard Alexei works to distance his image from his hockey star brother they will always have the same blood. Alexei will watch an interview of Ilya’s & see the playful smirk that they both inherited from their father. Ilya will be on the ice throwing a punch & suddenly remember that it was Alexei who taught him to never tuck in his thumb. When Alexei looks at his daughter he will see his mama & his baby brother’s golden curls. On Irina & Grigori’s birthdays & their death days two men will be sitting in silence in their respective bedrooms, not knowing how to reconcile with one another even on days when the world feels too heavy to carry alone.
Ilya never gets dementia. He worries about it, with his genetic predisposition and his frequent head injuries. But he never gets it.
His brother does.
His brother calls him, forgetting that Ilya went no-contact with him. Ilya's silent on the phone, listening to Alexei's wife softly explain it to him and take the phone.
He texts Ilya, asking when where he is. Asking who he's playing next game.
Ilya's been retired for over 20 years.
He knows Shane wants to say something, but he never does. He's just quietly supportive.
One day, it's Alexei's wife that calls him. She apologizes for calling. She tells him Alexei doesn't remember her anymore. Or their daughter. He only asks about Ilya and their parents. She offers to delete Ilya's number from his phone.
Ilya declines.
After that, he starts answering the phone. And talking.
Alexei asks where he is. Ilya tells him he's coming home soon. That seems to make Alexei happy.
Alexei asks who Ilya is playing. Ilya says Montreal. Alexei tells him to win or papa will be angry.
Alexei tells him mama made him soup. Ilya tells him that was his daughter. Alexei laughs, he doesn't have a daughter.
He doesn't remember how cruel he was to Ilya. He doesn't remember how much he loved drugs and drinking.
He was so much like Ilya's Alexei, before he started taking after their father. Before he let his anger at their mother consume him. Before he caught Ilya and Sasha and allowed his fear for his little brother to turn into anger and disgust.
One day Ilya offers his wife, Natalia, to have them visit. Their daughter has visited more than once, even stayed with them for a summer after high school. His and Shane's kids tried to teach her hockey.
Natalia regretfully tells him Alexei is not well enough to travel.
Ilya can't travel to them, not while he's married to Shane.
But their phone calls are enough.
About once a week, he gets to speak to a version of his brother than he had dearly missed. He gets to talk about his mama like she's still live, not dead for over 50 years. He gets to talk about the rink he and Alexei used to play hockey at. To talk about the stray cat he and Alexei once hid in their bedroom for a week.
He finds himself looking forward to the phone calls.
And dearly missing when they end.
i think ilya has basically 0 hangups about temporary pussy like he enjoys it when he has it sometimes curses himself with it if he wants to jerk off different style and this is how he lives the genderfluid dream for years before he realizes hes kinda nonbinary
when he realizes the pussy curse doesnt take away the prostate gland so double penetration feels crazy good hes like Im Da King Of Da Wolrd
My favorite element of romance is the end of the “honeymoon” period where you’re gross in front of your partner and they show they still love you anyway
So yeah, the first time Ilya is just down and out gross in front of Shane he gets one of those hard and fast stomach bugs that hits out of nowhere. One minute he’s waking up in bed feeling kind of off, and then he’s sprinting to the bathroom and doesn’t fully make it to the toilet before puking
Now, given his upbringing, I would imagine he was raised in a house where, if that happened when he was growing up, he got scolded while sick and told it was his job to clean it up. So he’s feeling awful, throwing up, thinking that Shane’s gonna be annoyed and he’ll have to clean it quick because Shane doesn’t like mess
But Shane, raised in a supportive household, sees this and just quietly grabs paper towels. Ilya takes a second to lift his head and sees Shane cleaning up the floor. Ilya tries to say that he’ll get it and it’s fine but Shane just tells him not to worry and he can’t argue because he has to throw up again
A big wad of gross paper towels land in the garbage and then Shane is gently rubbing his back and saying soft soothing things about how he knows it’s miserable and he’s sorry Ilya is feeling this way but he promises that once everything is out Ilya will start to feel better. And Ilya is kneeling in front of a toilet, puking, covered in clammy sweat, and is hands down the least sexy he has ever been in Shane’s presence
When the dry heaving is done Shane makes sure he can stand on his own and lets him brush his teeth while he goes and gets something. Ilya is surprised he’s allowed back into bed being sweaty and gross and not sent to the couch, but Shane gets him down and settled, puts a Gatorade on the nightstand for him, wipes his face with a damp cloth, and then sits down and strokes his sweaty hair until Ilya falls asleep, curled up on his side with his face pressed to Shane’s thigh
He spends the next day sleeping, eating toast, rehydrating, and getting spooned by Shane until he feels ok enough for a shower where Shane washes his hair for him, telling stories about times he was sick growing up
And after all the romantic confessions, sex, sensual moments and deep conversations they’ve had up until then, the most loved Ilya has ever felt is when Shane gives him one of his shirts to sleep in before laying down with him in the half dried sweaty sheets, with another Gatorade on the nightstand that is Ilya’s favorite flavor he’s pretty sure he only mentioned once, realizing as he drifts off that Shane has not done any of his usual daily routine in order to take care of Ilya and keep him company while getting nothing in return but the knowledge that it will make Ilya feel better
i actually think that what's being missed in the 'why does everyone love heated rivalry' conversation is just that it's good
it's well made, well shot, well directed, the music is interesting, the costumes are both thoughtful and subtly period accurate, the sex scenes are intentional and, again, accurate to what hooking up when you're like 18 actually feels like...the actors are of course attractive but they look like real people. the characters are varied and well fleshed out, the acting is really, really strong
so many shows and films shoot and then slot in whatever music kind of fits or could be licenced in the budget after time, but you can tell that the scenes in hr were shot with that specific music in mind. and the same intentional approach runs through the whole thing
it feels...so nice to watch a show that cares about itself
Nobody knew in advance that this show would become a massive international phenomenon. It was a mid-budget Canadian show (which means low budget by US standards) adapted from a Harlequin romance novel. The deal with HBO for US distribution rights was only signed a few weeks before it began to air.
But everybody involved treated it as if it was serious art anyway. Not just some little Canadian streaming show that might well disappear after airing. Based on a book from a genre that is usually ridiculed by people who consider themselves serious film people. The cast, the crew, the writer/director, the music supervisor, everybody. They all did their best work for love of the game.
LIKES TO CHARGE REBLOGS TO CAST
you people aren't CASTING
corn snakes can live 15-25 years in captivity if they're well cared for, and now im thinking about ilya meeting spaghetti the snake. quick search says 2hr car travel is doable for a snake so I could see shane taking it with him to the cottage and this is where ilya first meets spaghetti in my mind. crucially shane never really told ilya about spaghetti so he finds out after they fuck. (bonus points if ilya finds the frozen rodents before he sees spaghetti. "hollander what the fuck do you have frozen mice for?????")
the idea of shane having a separate small fridge in the garage where he keeps frozen mice for spaghetti, but this means when ilya asks about it in passing while shane is looking for water shoes, he's distracted and just goes, "oh, drinks and spaghetti" and ilya just ??? you have?? freezer just for pasta????? actually no this sounds like a Rule you would make yeah sure why not.
but on day three they're napping on the deck, ilya wakes first, decides to get something to eat, and remembers there is A Spaghetti Freezer, and opens it to find??? fucking frozen mice?? oh my god he is out in the wild with a canadian serial killer????
significantly, ilya is on the yuna end of the spectrum when it comes to spaghetti. he'll tough it out because he doesn't want to look like a chicken and also it's clear that shane really loves this snake (for WHAT reason, hollander. is a snake.), but he and spaghetti live in a system of mutual avoidance. ilya doesn't go in spaghetti's room. spaghetti doesn't roam from shane's person when he's out. under such conditions is peace achieved.
If Spaghetti ever touched Ilya he would immediately become ilya's one-sided best friend because Ilya has soft, warm skin that Spaghetti would LOVE to sit on. Shane takes him out to clean his massive 120-gallon bioactive enclosure and add in some more springtail isopods (they help break down leaf litter. ilya thinks they're creepy orange nightmare sprinkles) so he says "babe would you please please please hold Spaghetti? It's only for a couple minutes while I wipe down the glass." Ilya can't deny him anything, so he musters up his courage and holds out his hands.
Spaghetti is all curled up and a little stressed out, since Shane so rudely removed him from his favorite piece of bark. But hey, this is nice and warm, and oooh, wow, that's a cave! Spaghetti likes caves.
In less than three seconds Spaghetti has slithered inside Ilya's sleeve. He is standing very still. There is a snake slowly wriggling over his armpit and he is not going to scream because he is So Incredibly Manly. The snake has flickered its tongue over Ilya's chest. He can feel its tiny snake nose poking around his nipple. If this snake bites his nipple he will make Shane sleep on the couch.
The snake climbs up to Ilya's neck and settles in a squiggly-shape on his shoulder, with its head peeking out of his collar. Shane turns around to put the disinfectant bottle away and pauses.
"Awww!" he coos. "You look so cozy!"
"Yes, he is very cozy." Ilya says. His voice is a little high-pitched. "Maybe he should go back now. We interrupted his nap."
"Oh, it's fine for him to be out a little longer," Shane says. "You're warm, he likes you."
"Well, it was rude to disturb him. Probably we should let him rest." Ilya says, trying to dislodge the invader from his shirt. Fucker. It's a good shirt and now he's stretching it out trying to evict a reptile. The things he does for love.
Shane takes pity on him and scoops Spaghetti out of Ilya's collar, then drapes him over a plant and shuts the enclosure door.
"You were very brave, babe." he tells Ilya, and kisses his cheek.
"I was not scared. I am very strong, very cool hockey player. It takes more than a little animal to scare me." Ilya lies.
"Sure, babe."
'Same destination, Hollander? How lucky...'
( Day 5 of @hollanovaweek . Prompt: Forced Proximity )
ao3 link
When #myshane retires, he doesn’t go into coaching or podcasting or whatever.
He becomes a consultant who shitty teams trying to not suck, good teams who want to last further into the playoffs, great teams who want to finally win the cup, call to Fix Them.
He is paid absolutely bonkers amounts of money to watch a team play for five minutes and immediately diagnose what’s wrong with them. He is always right.
Ok 5 minutes is probably an exaggeration. The coaches send him a bunch of tape to review in advance. They probably focus on their best players or the ones they think need the most improvement, but half the time Shane requests more, focusing on players they hadn’t paid much attention to before. Then one day at practice, the players look up into the stands and are filled with awe, terror, and wonder, because Shane Hollander is sitting there staring directly at them with a scarily thoughtful look on his face.
He meets with the coaches and gm and reports his conclusions. Who to trade and for who , how to get better results from certain players, how to run power plays and penalty kills, changes in line makeups.
Some lucky players get to meet with him. He takes about five minutes to list off or demonstrate everything they need to do to stop sucking. He has no time for chit chat or hero worship. Focus, listen, learn, and do exactly what he says and you will be good. Fail to do what he says and you will shame your entire bloodline.
I think that, if he’s not the one actually playing, this would be a dream job. It involves Knowing Things About Hockey, Judging Shitty Hockey Players, Getting Recognized As The Best at Hockey, Being Correct, and Making Hockey Better. He should get to do all these things
I will add that he contracts Yuna and Svetlana to do research on players and coaches. They get so good that the league starts requiring that he sign contracts saying he will never acquire ownership of any teams. And when teams sign him on they MUST agree to sensitivity training before he even starts his evaluations.
reading fanfics isnt enough i need to squish shane hollander between two pieces of bread and eat him
something something ilya being obsessed with shane’s tummy continued:
ilya is absolutely infatuated with shane’s stomach. shane is an avid moisturizer thanks to yuna, so he’s soft all over, but the skin on his stomach is especially smooth. ilya is obsessed with rubbing and kissing it during sex obviously, but it’s more than that.
anytime they’re cuddling, ilya’s hand is up shane’s shirt. he’s scrolling on his phone, rubbing a hand firmly up and down shane’s stummy. sometimes he’ll shove his head under shane’s shirt so he can lay on his stomach. shane gets nervous and takes the shirt off when ilya’s been under there for too long because he doesn’t want him to suffocate.
when shane’s making dinner, ilya is constantly yelling at him to take off his shirt. if shane refuses, he comes over and does it himself, planting a kiss on his belly.
he loves his hard abs in the morning, but also how his stomach distends a little after dinner. he loves that he can hear shane breathe and his organs work to digest when he lays his ear on his tummy.
he especially loves watching shane workout shirtless in their basement gym, hot and sweaty and panting. watching his breath go in and out behind his bellybutton makes him feel mushy inside in a way he can’t put into words. he watches as it goes from in and out and in and out to a more slow in out as shane cools down.
years after they retire, naturally shane gains some weight and doesn’t keep up with his grooming as much as he did when he was constantly naked in the locker room and doing photoshoots all the time. and ilya dieeeesss. he loves the little trail of hair up from his groin and the softer give to his stomach. the skin is still just as soft and still makes a good pillow.
shane wakes up for the 1000th time with his shirt pushed way up around his neck, ilya’s hand protectively splayed over his bellybutton.
The way ilya has a big fat crush on scott hunter and looks up to him unironically and think he is super brave for being a gay orphan w no family and he hides this (badly) by being bitchy. which doesn't even work bc he is always telling Scott that he wants to fuck himself in front of him and that Scott is super cool for coming out
Meanwhile after the rookie hero worship wore off shane literally cannot stand scott and doesn't find him cute and secretly thinks scott only won a cup bc Shane was out for the season and hides it (badly) by acting like ilya is being rude. Which doesn't even work bc Shane punched Scott in the face and called him a old hag
do care + did ask + sick like crazy? + oh, like cancer? + that's awful + hey + hey + holding you tenderly + kissing you with tongue + rocking you gently
goodmorning this is your assigned shane of the day
