insignem

Classics nerd. tumblr activity ebbs and flows.

[diacetylmorphine-android-deacti]

slut

[transmechanicus]

loyal knight

[clottedcreamfudge]

[transthatmasc]

Saw something earlier that mentioned Ilya becoming a PWHL coach when he retires and it’s completely rewritten my concept of Ilya as a character.

Yes absolutely he is becoming a PWHL coach. He’s doing constant promotional work to expand the league and its audience and doing interviews where he talks shit about all the creeps and losers in and running the NHL. “if me and my husband, Shane Hollander, had been female hockey players, we would have been criminally under paid and almost entirely ignored despite our epic love story. These women take their jobs incredibly seriously and play outstanding hockey. Of course some of them want to kiss each other. Would happen more in the NHL if the vile behavior of some players was not both tolerated and supported by teammates, coaches, and administrators.”

His players love him, the owners don’t understand his methods but can’t argue with results, and the NHL is actively pursuing their second defamation lawsuit against him even as they are actively trying to prevent Luca from doing public appearances with his new husband.

Now that they have his undivided attention, Shane becomes a regular guest commentator for PWHL games (never for Ilya’s team though, he’s in the stadium for those generally) and becomes a highly regarded figure for many PWHL fans.

Also, Shane Hollander loves lesbians. He goes out for mojitos and grain bowls with some of the women from Ilya’s team every month and they all get a little tipsy and grill each other about hockey stats and house renovations. He suddenly discovers the appeal of arranging play dates for your kids when he can hang out with some of the other SAPs and talk about play off chances and the fact that the team is on a road trip during the local spring break week while the kids play with foam blocks in the living room.

[actuallysara]

Hudson Williams on Instagram | May 15, 2026

[dailymarvelheroes]

get you a man who can do both

[nitramaraho]

one of my patients came in for an emergency visit, because she snapped the wire on her retainer watching the movie when MBJ took his shirt off she clenched her teeth so fucking hard she snapped it. that is the fucking funniest shit ever to me this tiny 17 year old girl thirsting so goddamn hard she busted steel

[crystalitesummerstar]

Y'all, it gets better. She found out.

[buzzfeed]

We interviewed her, obviously.

[buzzfeed]

update:

[rainbowselfies]

[blvckgeezus]

Such a developing story.

[pastdueeverything]

I love this story

[athenadcvell]

This was a wild ride from start to finish

[gambit-of-a-small-rabbit-deacti]

I know I say this a lot, But this is one of the best things on this website

[nitramaraho]

Sophia is currently doing great in college, and I still get about one kid a month in the office who asked if this really happened.

[demigoddessqueens]

I found it!! The original post!!

[urcadelimabean]

HAS SHE SEEN SINNERS

[adz]

no caption can possibly make this funnier

[soulsingerinasessionband]

happy birthday ole worm

[adz]

happy birthday ole worm

[frigbob]

[youhaveaguineapigwhere]

[youhaveaguineapigwhere]

Everytime this gets a note when its nowhere near christmas I question my sanity just a little bit more

[youhaveaguineapigwhere]

No, it is July, stop that, stop giving this notes, you guys have lost reblogging privileges

[plaguedocboi]

ITS GREAT LAKES AWARENESS DAY!!!!!

On this excellent day, be aware that this is the largest group of freshwater lakes in the world, covering over 95,000 square miles and reaching depths of over a thousand feet. They are beautiful freshwater seas.

Also when you die in these lakes, the very cold, oxygen-poor conditions at the bottom preserves you perfectly for all eternity. You will not rot and nothing will eat you. You will exist for as long as the Great Lakes do. Many shipwrecks still have the crew on board. Be Aware.

[bunjywunjy]

that last paragraph only applies to Lake Superior, the northernmost Great Lake! to be fair though, Superior is bigger than all of the other Great Lakes combined.

and that's not to say that the other Great Lakes aren't equally dangerous! each of these things earned the 'Great' descriptor for a reason, and the only reason they aren't all classified as inland seas is because they're not salty.

Lake Michigan in particular is really good at creating waterlogged corpses and hiding them in weird places, and every single Great Lake is full of shipwrecks and ghost stories.

and you know what? 10/10 I would let these things eat me anyways.

be aware!

[bunjywunjy]

fun optional addition, LAKE SUPERIOR VS THE EAST COAST

you could drown an entire small country in this thing

[lookninjas]

Great Lakes Awareness Day is May 5th this year!

[thesanityclause]

LET'S GO LAKE WHO NEVER GIVES UP HER DEAD LET'S GO!!!

[alex51324]

Great Lakes Awareness Day for 2026 is May 4. You only have a few days to get ready!

[alex51324]

My scheduled reblog worked perfectly!

Now I just have to decide how I will observe Great Lakes Awareness Day.

[ilyasmole]

he's not a chicken. he's brave ♡

[my-2nd-account]

These two kids in eachother's faces:

[nightspires]

No but their whole time at the cottage is basically them to just playing one big game of chicken about who’s going to say I love you first. Like Ilya goes to the cottage KNOWING he loves Shane, and knowing that Shane wouldn’t have invited him if he didn’t at least feel something back. And Shane knows he feels strongly for Ilya, is fairly certain Ilya reciprocates those feelings because otherwise he wouldn’t have accepted his invitation. Shane says let’s be honest about how we really feel :)))) and Ilya is like ok I’ll try :)))) They sleep in the same bed and wake up together, something that six months ago even the prospect of caused the crash out of all crash outs. And then they start upping their game. “I like you” and “I like you too” becomes a practice run, and when Ilya says “I hate you” and Shane GRINS as he says, knowingly, “no you don’t”…. It’s like they’re slowly working their way up to being able to say it, whilst simultaneously trying to bait the other into saying it first. They know they feel, they have a pretty good idea how the other feels, it’s just been said out loud yet. And only being at the cottage together allowed them that space to be able to finally say it.

[brightloveee]

I know we talk a lot about how Ilya turned himself from a ho into a housewife, and how much he loves to be a My Husband guy. "My Husband" this, "My Husband" that, "Have I told you about My Husband Shane Hollander?" And yes. True. Love that.

BUT, do you ever think about how quietly, but equally, chuffed Shane is to be a My Husband guy too?

There are definitely points in Shane's story when he thinks This Fcked Up Thing Between Them will never amount to anything but sex – he doesn't dare even entertain it until the cottage. And there are YEARS in between when Shane is pretty much convinced that in order to have a happy future, he would need to be in a heterosexual relationship. He has a lot of internalized comphet notions that take him trying and failing to date Rose to dismantle. Based on his upbringing and environment, he thinks he NEEDS to be with a woman in order to have a long-term partner that he can be with publicly. Rose is the ONLY person he's ever liked enough to even consider, but he can't even like HER enough for that.

There has to be a period of mourning, after that conversation with Rose, when Shane thinks maybe he WON'T get to have a partner. After all, things with Ilya are FAR from assured at that time.

Meanwhile, he's certified Husband Material. As I've Shaneterpreted before, he's a major Protector and Provider. He's DYING to do Husband Chores for someone. Man the grill. Mow the lawn. Make the fire. Kill the spiders. He's worked so hard, he's built this big cottage, and for what?

He WANTS to share it with someone, and for a while there's a strong possibility that he won't, and he'll never get to have that.

So when it all works out, and he gets to think of himself and Ilya as an "Us," I think he gets a little smile to himself. He's calling the pharmacy like, "Hi, yes, I need to refill a prescription for My Husband." "Hi, is this the lost and found? My Husband lost his earbuds again." "Two tickets, for me and My Husband."

He looks normal. For all the world he's as calm and collected as ever. But internally, he's JUMPING for joy. He gets to have a husband! And it's ILYA!

[pwhl-mybeloved]

oh ok

[cithaerons]

From his fever in Brundisium he visits like the wavering in bronze scratched grave-bound across its gods and heroes, the worried wick of a face still breathing light. Ceaseless as a vow, he is muttering the thread of elisions and emendations spinning ever finer, down to the last minute’s snap. He will reach its harsh caesura between the swell of the Adriatic and the setting Pleiades, his books unburnt, immortal, incomplete. He stands at your shoulder like a shade in a mist of marshes, carrying the torch for every maker who would have glimpsed just one more line ahead.

– Sonya Taaffe, Sibylline

[only-cat-memes]

[grabmyboner]

shane doesn’t take his sports watch off during sex and ilya makes a habit of checking shane’s workout score on the watch to see how intense of a fuck they just had was. he tries to beat the score every time. one time shane’s watch starts vibrating and beeping because his heart rate is the highest it’s ever been because ilya is edging him for so long that when he cums he genuinely thinks he looses some brain cells from how hard it hits him and his watch is telling him “it’s time to take a break, shane!” and ilya high-fives himself when he reads it and shane is breathing so heavy and is covered in so much cum and the edges of his vision is still blurry but that sex just made him hit a new monthly workout score record so he’s pretty happy with how life is going at the moment

[grabmyboner]

@hazmesentir what’s it like being the funniest mf on my post.

[teathattast]

[flightlessartist]

goddess of aiaia 🌿

✦ find me on instagram @the.flightless.artist ✦