let's be spheres with mama

mid-20s | she/they | lesbian

[charlesoberonn]

The first recorded use of "I feel like a million bucks" was in 1902.

Adjusted for inflation, in order to feel as good as a person in 1902 who felt like a million bucks, a person in 2026 would need to feel like 38,831,628 dollars.

[lizardsfromspace]

Wordle is running out of words. Only 2,000 five letter words remain. When that supply is exhausted the Creation shall begin. One day the word will be ZHURM, and all shall get it, and all shall understand it to mean "an ache from suddenly remembering a long-ago friend, who meant something to you once, but whose face you can no longer conjure". The next day the word shall be JOROL, and all will get it, and all will know it means "the melancholy confusion of passing by somewhere where you once could have died". The next day it will be GREFT, and all will understand it to be a small brown bird with white streaks found only in South America, and suddenly, it will appear, in the shrubs of the Atacama desert, in the streets of São Paulo, and all will know that it once was not there, but now, will always be

[funstyle]

ppl complain abt everyone being so boring/inauthentic/detached these days but the second u have interests they deem unusual theyll be like "waitttt thats giving neurodivergent..." like damn its so awesome that were pathologising giving a fuck about anything they dont sell at a tj maxx

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

weed before beer feel like a deer

beer before weed feel like a steed

[divorce-enjoyer]

why go to the grocery store or to a restaurant when you can just get food delivered why go to the mall when you can get same day shipping on amazon why go to the library when you have kindle why make art when there’s ai why go to the cinema when you can stay at home and watch netflix. we are in a loneliness epidemic btw

[divorce-enjoyer]

the loneliness epidemic was invented by BIG SHIT to sell you more SHIT

[decompositie]

[cupcraft]

You never know what color pallette someone's Tumblr is till ppl are screenshotting posts and tags

[aropride]

do u like mine

[cupcraft]

Oh wow.

[cupcraft]

Some people on tumblr are reading ancient scrolls and you'd never know

[needybimbopuppy]

being a masochist is literally so funny. im like "man i feel like absolute shit. yk what would help? Being Hit Real Hard"

[gerardwayspostcocaineweightgain]

[lilyblisslys]

Too clocky to fully assimilate into cis society….serving too much cunt to not seem like an outsider on bear night at the leather bar….this is what Aciman meant when he talked about being stateless

[deoxoid]

his wife has filled THEIR house with ANTIQUES. to AVOID DAMAGING HER VALUABLES i fuck him on the floor

[manyblinkinglights]

#feminist retelling

[loki-zen]

has anyone considered that it was probably her house too. where else was she supposed to put her chintz?

[mtndewpitchblack]

[kiefbowl]

[thesewersofparis]

btw i live on nailpolish reddit nowadays

and everyone is posting their 4th of july manis

except this year its very few american flags and red white and blue and stars.

and a LOT of pond scum inspiration

[aniseandspearmint]

This is an absolutely FASCINATING cultural snapshot.

[mermaidhugs]

YSO fill 🥤🍑🍓

[uncoolfemme]

always bite the hand that fingers you… or whatever that saying is…

[compassionvi]

the thing about piracy is that i know i deserve everything for free forever

[basic-banshee]

I keep using my girlfriend with unusual work hours to get out of coworker interactions and happy hours and hanging out.

But now the company holiday party is upon us.

And I’ve been lying about the girlfriend.

I suddenly really empathise with the characters in Hallmark Christmas movies.

[basic-banshee]

I like that people have two reactions to this post.

Reasonable: “just say she couldn’t make it!”

Chaotic: FAKE DATING AU

Well, which one is it going to be?

[basic-banshee]

And so it begins

having the DMV area Craigslist bookmarked has never come in handy before but now

[basic-banshee]

Update, Craigslist has flagged my post as inappropriate.

[basic-banshee]

Apparently you can’t solicit a date as a “gig”

I now see my mistake

[basic-banshee]

Update: a date has been acquired. This is true lesbian solidarity in action.

[justluckyiguess]

My wife has now read this and wonders how baby gays are even meeting and mating

[basic-banshee]

Can confirm I am meeting and mating just fine 😂

[basic-banshee]

By the way I’m in a relationship with this woman now

[cooliopumpkin]

[basic-banshee]

This is the feedback I’ve been looking for

[charlesoberonn]

[hearted-words]

Tumblr meets Hallmark

[superdaisypowerhour]

"if i had a time machine i would go back in time and kill hitler"

I would put sea mines around medieval britain. i would give hannibal barca ww2 era heavy artillery and tell him not to stop till he starts seeing gauls. i would give boudica a fucking abrams. i would appear before jesus like an angel and tell him "you gotta stop. not cause theyll kill you, youre fine with that, surprisingly, but because your fanclub is gonna spend about 1500 years making everything worse for everyone, everywhere." I would take a glock back in time and shoot romulus, shoot remus, and shoot that damn dog too just to be safe. i would be on the side of christopher columbus' ship in a scuba suit planting c4 on that bitch like rainbow six siege. i would be waging a one woman campaign of terror across andalusia to prevent the reconquista. i would be getting way out in front of that shit is what im saying,