galactic gumshoe

emily, 31, she/her/hers. i love word puzzles, corny jokes, and crying about works of fiction! one time (okay, two times) i was on jeopardy. formerly luftnarp and stopecclestonneglect.

[riphimopen]

Im not the uncle you want. I'm not the uncle you deserve. I'm not the uncle you need. Im not your uncle

[softichill]

I loooove ominously giggling when I'm getting my friends into smth new. They ask me a spoilery question and I get to do this

[zinesbycee]

(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)

[beardedmrbean]

on new year’s eve 1999 i cut my fingure on a can illustrating the importance of small things

[juney-blues]

why is it called a "stick" of butter. that is blatantly a The Ingot

[rhinco]

i love you semicolon. no one look at my 80 word sentence

[michaelmoonsbookshop]

just some of the the changes in design for the Penguin Symbol on old Penguin Paperbacks 

[dinkywinks]

he did a little dance and for this crime he was imprisoned in a bubble

[luxflora]

They liked his little dance so much they gave him a spotlight

[anasandorpygoscelis-deactivated]

family album

[delgrosso]

[sensationaltrainreading]

[kaylmao]

just molted for the first time ama

[evil-sludge]

U feelin' mushy? Easily susceptible to predation..?

[kaylmao]

ok no more questions

[spore-carrier]

medieval troubadour gets isekaied into early 1970s england but ends up blending in perfectly with the local prog rock scene

[chamacafeahorrible]

getting into the shower: evil evil evil

being in the shower: there is no past and there is no future, there is just the here and now, i am alone but i am not lonely, i am calm and one with the universe, existence is sublime

getting out of the shower: evil evil evil (wet version)

[lady-harrowhark]

more and better ideas for what the powder offhand could be:

printer toner

sour candy coating

laundry detergent

rat poison

cinnamon

miralax

powdered milk

instant coffee

dry shampoo

crushed up adderall

forgotten nature valley granola bar from the bottom of a backpack

[foeofcolor]

Only day you can rb this

[limerickshere]

One hundred and four days’ duration 'S the length of our summer vacation So finding good ways To spend all those days 'S the problem of our generation. Like building a rocket for fun And fighting a mummy when done Or maybe we'll climb Eiffel Tower this time And stand at the top in the sun. Discovering something that’s not In existence (or that’s what we thought) Or scrub and then scour A monkey in shower, Give tidal wave surfing a shot. Or locating Frankenstein’s brain Or nan'bot creation attain Or continent painting Find dodos remain(t)ing Or driving our sister insane You see that the list is quite tall Of things to be done ‘fore this fall So with no more fuss Just stick here with us Cause Phineas and Ferb do it all!

[ceruleanheaven]

month starting on a monday we have no excuse guys lets get to work and lock the fuck in

[ceruleanheaven]

yk its actually very chic and avant garde to start on tuesday the second

[ceruleanheaven]

many claim theres nothing more subversive and revolutionary than starting on wednesday the third

[lesbianboyfriend]

it’s rotten work. to me if it’s me.

[liarsblade]

Fanfiction is cool because you get to learn what other people's parents taught them the hymen is like

[liarsblade]

I know that I had somewhat unusually comprehensive sex ed but it still surprises me every time I'm reminded that some people genuinely think that losing your virginity is a capri sun kind of situation.

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

oh wait just realized i can edit my own posts.

like you can't edit reblogs anymore but you can still edit your own post even after it has a thousand notes or whatever.

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

i have the opportunity to do the funniest thing.