i’m not currently diagnosed with aspd and because of the fact that i am seventeen, though i’m nearly eighteen and i’m sure that i have it.
i’m not taking any buzzfeed quizzes for it or anything, duh. only the biggest edgelords do that. it’s cringe. prior to fifteen, i’ve had and still do have more than enough symptoms of conduct disorder with callous unemotional traits. i get people are probably still hesitant to believe me because of the fact that it is a self admission and there are so many edgy teenagers that claim to be sociopaths or antisocial, though i highly doubt most people my age could stomach consciously being a bad person or doing half of the things i do on a daily basis.
if i were an adult, and i met a psychiatrist that didn’t immediately throw some other incorrect label at me and took my honesty at face value, i could definitely get diagnosed with aspd. while i am not a psychopath, i do meet the criteria for both factor one and factor two. i fit the subtype of a sociopath more due to the fact that i am capable of empathy, guilt, and attachment, these things are just incredibly reduced for me and are often shallow.
i like the concept of feeling empathy for someone i consider deserving of my loyalty/or care more than anything, but it’s always instrumental and if it’s not i am able to shut it down immediately without a second thought.
the only complications to a diagnosis of aspd would be the fact that i am diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and major depressive disorder. what especially complicates this is the fact that did and aspd specifically are not only a rare combination, though many psychiatrists still don’t even believe in the existence of multiple personalities.
i think that if i were to try and get diagnosed at eighteen, because of how many people my age fake both of these disorders, i wouldn’t be believed. say i get diagnosed with aspd, i feel the psychiatrist would believe that immediately cancels out my did due to the stigma of aspd, like i HAVE to be some mastermind faking did. or maybe the psychiatrist wouldn’t even believe my aspd traits and would associate them with a persecutory alter, like my trauma just cancels out the possibility of having aspd even with the fact that it is genetically predisposed and often misdiagnosed as adhd in girls, or that adhd just commonly comorbid with aspd as a whole.
anyways, i’m sharing this because i’m hoping someone could give me their thoughts on what i should do, if i even should do anything to begin with.
