💚🦎💚🦎💚

[baatjr-deactivated20150830]

yes teenage girls can be dramatic and wild but honestly have u ever even seen what happens when u tell a grown man ‘no’

[nqsa]

you know who’s gay? paul the real estate novelist who never had time for a wife and davey who’s still in the navy and probably will be for life

[mooncustafer]

New headcannon: everyone in that song is gay except the Piano Man who has no idea he’s playing at a gay bar and the staff and regulars have a betting pool on how long he’ll take to finally figure it out. So far John is ahead.

[skeleton-richard]

[spacegay-yx]

[freshdonuts]

“The manager gives me a smile ‘cause he knows that it’s me they’ve been coming to see” also implies that the Piano Man is possibly an incredibly attractive but oblivious himbo, and if you listen to the rest of it imagining that, this all fits a little too well.

[spacedandelions]

this makes too much sense. Also, the full quote is “Now John at the bar is a friend of mine. He gets me my drinks for free. And he’s quick with a joke or to light up your smoke. But there’s someplace that he’d rather be” Yes, your bed, he wants to be on your bed honey, that’s not a joke, he is flirting with you.

[madgastronomer]

Lighting another man’s cigarette is some old-school gay cruising.

[dikdikpronouncedxylophone]

Billy Joel actually addressed this interpretation!

[lyricwritesprose]

You know, good on him for just rolling with it.

[zinesbycee]

to me. the ring finger is the thursday of the hand

[atalana]

the curse of doing seamstressing as a side job when i have the ability to is that that "topologically you know it must be a slipknot" post enters my brain on a daily basis

[atalana]

lets hear it for all the fucking bastards!

[nbarpf]

One of my all-time favorites

[that-one-support]

No one cared who I was until I put on the cage

[pretentious-ravioli]

[baambastic]

The Author’s Barely Disguised Desire to Dom Man Ray apparently

[tartrazeen]

The Author’s Open Proposal to Dom Man Ray

[contourkit-deactivated20160224]

What if everything gets better in 2016

[melonisopod]

[houndmother]

[lillagrim]

[relelvance]

In what world is tall muscular man not conventionally attractive

[piedude]

We've all been down here too long. I truly think there's a chunk of tumblr's population that can no longer survive sunlight.

[reagan-slayer69]

women will say “hear me out” and show u a photo of pyramid head and then tumblr users will go “this is a perfectly normal man and an ice cold take”

[maykitz]

remember how utterly inescapable how i met your mother used to be with the memes and references and barney and bro code and wait for it... and then the finale was so hated it vanished overnight

[mozilla-firefucks]

The finale so successfully erased the show from public consciousness, that when people tried to come up with a name for the "extremely popular show with finale so bad that people just immediately stop talking about it" phenomenon, people called it... the Game of Thrones Effect. HIMYM got memoryholed so hard that people forgot it even existed

[wafflewarrior111]

So... I found this and now it keeps coming to mind. You hear about "life-changing writing advice" all the time and usually its really not—but honestly this is it man.

I'm going to try it.

[missroserose]

I love the lawyer metaphor, because whenever I see “John knew that...” in prose writing I immediately think “how?  How does he know it?”  Interrogate your witnesses.  Cross-examine them.  Make them explain their reasoning.  It pays dividends.

[nick-nonya]

[teathattast]

[teathattast]

Coins AND a friend? He should be grateful

[teathattast]

Realizing some things about myself today

[furryprovocateur]

boobs is better than titties as a word because boobs is bouba while titties is kiki

[pinyatapix]

read this post and this is all i can ever imagine from it

[official-linguistics-post]

official linguistics post

[dogpuppy]

[prokopetz]

Whatever else one can say about Tolkien, deciding to resolve accidentally using the same elf name twice by going "actually, it's the same guy; yeah, he just walked back to Middle-Earth from the afterlife – in fact, all elves can technically do that, but he's the only one who did" was kind of a move.

[myfairkatiecat]

See this is why there are no “watsonian” or “doylist” explanations for anything that happens in LOTR because you see, the author will 100% commit to the in-story explanation no matter what.

*changes the plot of the hobbit* well actually that other book I published was a LIE by the main character. This is the real story. Yes that’s what I’m going with

[red-garden]

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

[segamascott]

[arcanetrivia]

[Image description: Screenshot of this tweet from user lullabylarva. Tweet says, "i don't freak unless froken to". /end description]