Lalaland

welcome to Lalaland, home of random shit. I don't even know half the time.

[desmond-the-queer-dragon]

Everyone talking about how hot Matt Smith is.

Meanwhile I’m obsessing over how beautiful and lovely the dragons are.

My demisexual and Demiromantic ass be popping off I guess

[lalalots11]

Star Wars during the clone wars having a brand of memes called Clone Memes, that's just various clones doing various shit that just get constantly used as reaction images is the funniest thing in the world to me-

(Some clones do in fact know of it but most don't because that part of the holonet isn't practical to the war thus they just don't go on it... the ones that do think its the greatest thing, ((certainly the most humanizing thing almost anyone in the republic but the Jedi has ever done for them)) and they get hype when there is a clone meme of them or a brother they know-)

And like the rebellion uses the hell out of them in the og trilogy because it's a small 'fuck you' the imperial Propaganda that these people were always just flesh droids because they so clearly were not in each and every picture- (the Luke, Leia, Han, Chewie, and R2 group chat is definitely riddled with them. R2 is there because he is chaos and does what he wants but also because he has every clone meme he ever came across downloaded ((he knew. Nor a doubt in my mind)) and readily supplies the rebellion)

[lalalots11]

I had to pull an all nighter and thus my sleep deprived brain came up with the truly incredible AU of “What if Anakin had a twin and they were separated it birth?” And it has been three days and I have yet to let it go so now its here while I debate writing about it full on. So Anakin's story remains pretty similar, he wasn’t told about his twin brother, who Shmi sent away because while it was known she was pregnant twins weren’t expected. so she knew that while one of her children would have a mother, the other would be free. So Anakin's twin is handed to someone who can get him as far away as possible, so he isn’t found. So The Kid is off of Tatooine. Now This kid is grows up bouncing from place to place never staying anywhere for long, until one day. (around the same time Anakin get found by Qui-Gon, because I said so-) A male Zabrak and his Wife, who is in full Mandalorian armor Pick him up and he ends up with two other kids (One torgruta girl who is a couple years older than him, and the other another human boy who is about a year younger) the Five of them stick together, learn to fight, and Help Anakin's Twin control his abilities with the force (which of course he has- he’s a Skywalker-) The twins eventually meet and yes it is pure chaos. this is pure crack but I'm too personally invested at this point to back down.

[writing-prompt-s]

A dating service where matching is based on people’s search history exists. You’re a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer.

[endreams-s]

Serial Killer: metaphorically, if you were to kill someone, how would you do it?

Writer: Air shot between the toes, it’ll look like a heart attack.

Serial Killer who is obviously in love already: *sucks in a breath* ok

[honeypressed]

Writer: how long would it take to die if you were to potentially stab someone in the guts

Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes

Writer, already bringing a ring out: *shaking* thanks

[moonreflectioninthefragglepond]

A++ addition

[tetsuskitten]

Writer: *shows the serial killer the murder scene they’re writing* babe, i’m not sure if this would actually work?

Serial killer: *kisses writer on the forehead and leaves, comes back later, a suspicious scent of blood coming off them* it works baby, you’re doing great

[tigerliliesandcherryblossoms]

I LOVE THIS

[vmohlere]

Oh no, murder comedy is my jam

[laziestofthedreamers]

I love this, I love all of this, but quick question, does the author know? Like are they aware that their significant other is a serial killer or do they just think that they have a morbid sense of humor? It’d be even funnier if the author had no fucking clue, like how Aurthur Conan Doyle was apparently stupidly gullible, and on top of it they’re a horror or crime novelist. Like the serial killer works at a butcher shop or something so it’s completely normal for them to come home smelling like blood, no murders going on here, no sirey. Just my darling coming back home from a long day at work.

Now fast forward a bit and the author has managed to get their first book published, with loving support from the serial killer who helped them fine tune all the murder scenes, and it’s a big hit. Enough so that a detective with the local police department has noticed some disturbing similarities to several active cases, including details that were never released to the press. Obviously he brings this up to his superior and convinces him that there’s something to the theory, but it’s all circumstantial right now. He stakes out the author’s home and is super convinced that the author is the murderer, but they don’t seem to do anything??? Like they literally are at the house all day, that’s it. Most they do is leave for groceries.

So you get this dynamic of the serial killer mining the author for creative murder schemes, the author being lovingly encouraged by the serial killer, and finally the detective who is just so sure that the author is the killer and that if he sticks it out long enough he’ll FINALLY have proof.

[pamgkrthwrites]

Plot twist, The serial killer and detective use to go out so it gets sub what personal. 

“You need to stop seeing them. I think they are a serial killer.”

Serial killer breaths in. “Look-”

[ladyhavilliard]

…perfect

[outerspacekake]

I don’t like actual murder mysteries, but this is perfect

[yourpotatotwiceremooved]

THE ORIGINAL POST HOW DID I GET SO LUCKY

[serpant-of-heaven-deactivated20]

Oh my god I would watch/read the hell out of this shit

[paisleybees-deactivated20210818]

PaisleyBees’ 100 Follower Milestone Giveaway

A big, hearty thanks to everyone who got me to this point and a hello to anyone new who decides to stick around via this post.

To show my appreciation for the support, I would like to host a small giveaway. I am offering two Character Icons like the below examples for followers, new or established.

How to earn entries:

1. Like this post

2. Reblog this post

Between January 10th, 2021 and January 31st, 2021, like and/or reblog this post for an entry. That’s two entries if you do both. Please note that while signal boosts on additional blogs are appreciated, out of fairness, they will not count towards additional entries for an individual.

First Place:

Character Icon + alternative version (combat icon or additional hair style)

Second Place:

Character Icon, no alternative version

At 9pm PST on Jan 31st I will close entries and draw two winners from the lists. You must be a follower to win! I will contact winners, and if I do not hear back within 48 hours, I will move on to the next draw. Please have screenshots or a face claim ready if you are requesting an original character.

What to expect from a Character Icon:

The intention is for these to be used in icons, banners, in UIs, etc. They are not particularly huge and the focus is on rendering the face. Backgrounds and clothing detail will be simple. You will have an opportunity to OK the sketch and get render updates. I will send you several completed versions (including transparent backgrounds) for your personal use.

At this point in time, I am only comfortable offering humanoid portraits. Funky skin colors would be welcome! Original or canon characters welcome. No requests for mecha, extreme gore, or animal-based characters, please. I will not purposely make anything that represents something hateful. I reserve the right to refuse any requests (if I refuse a request, you will get a chance to make a second). Though I will make effort to complete these quickly, I will not be holding myself to a strict turn-around time for giveaway prizes, expect a few weeks for completion.

Again, thank you to all who have followed my blog!

[lalalots11]

Me: I'm am perfectly fine-

Also me: *on my 9th reread of the current chapters of The Golden Sun, a soulmate au fic with edling, dad!roy, quarter ishvalin!Elrics, godmother!olivier, and an incredible plot-*

[calangkoh]

i wanna live in the timeline where theres a nullmetal alchemist: conqueror of shamballa video

[calangkoh]

al drops in dressed like ed and says biggity bam in his monotone english accent and ed loses it 

roy appears during the climax and he’s singing let it go as he sets things on fire

everyone on earth refers to alchemy as magic/witchcraft and ed is like “thank you someone who understands” 

[lalalots11]

Alfons shows up with a expressive German accent instead of his monotone British and we all just mentally reel from the whiplash Roy shows up with his Eyepatch post Dramatic musical montage with an “Edwaaaard~” only to go into another dramatic musical montage- Ed murdering the hell outta the enemy soldiers, not because they are doing something wrong, but because he high-key thinks its kinda fun- “NIPPLE-SCROTUMSSSSS-!”

[lalalots11]

So whoever let me rewatch FMA:B when I was mid OC and AU making high- this is your fault-

[wiisagi-maiingan]

if you could rewrite da lore, what would you do with elven history? (especially interested in hearing ur thoughts on the veil & what couldve happened, what life mightve been like before then, etc!)

Hmm. This is complicated.

The easiest part is the Veil, which I would change into a natural part of the world, with it always existing. ALTERNATIVELY, it could’ve been created by the Evanuris as a way to essentially even out the playing field and help elves actually be part of the world around them instead of basically living outside of it as immortals who only cared for magic.

Canon could more or less left the same, with changes made to the religion itself.

Instead of the gods being locked away, I would make it a living pantheon with active worship and relationships between the elves and the gods. The Evanuris themselves would also be real, either “true” gods or extremely powerful spirits. Instead of being kept outside of the pantheon, Fen’Harel would be worshipped alongside the other gods as a deity of rebellion and chaos, a god of destruction that brings in necessary change, much the same way Set is worshipped in a Kemetic context.

The vallaslin would be used as displays of devotion and a person’s vallaslin would be selected based on which deity they felt the strongest pull to, which one they encountered during ceremonies and dreams and Fadewalking. Instead of just being normal tattoos, they would also be focuses, ways to connect a person directly to their deity. Particularly pious elves would communicate directly with their gods, receiving visits in dreams and ceremonies and even receiving direct information for them when they need it. In my own canon, my Levallan prayed to Dirthamen for advice regarding the Well of Sorrows and received a command to enter it.

If I could really change things though. . . . . . . .

No Exalted March on the Dales. Instead, it would be an existing nation in Thedas, covering roughly this area:

(Sorry for the rough outline, I’m on my computer.)

Halamshiral would still be the capital, and while the majority of elves would continue to live in nomadic clans, that would be by choice rather than necessity, following the rams and halla and fish and other game. The nation would essentially be run by a council of Keepers with their Firsts and Seconds by their side.

The Frostbacks would be considered Dalish territory TECHNICALLY but be considered sovereign Avaar territory by the Dalish and left more or less alone; the Avaar and the Dales would have close ties. Fereldan and the Dales would be allies, mainly united by their shared dislike of Orlais, and the Dales would have close ties to Orzammar and other dwarven settlements, both underground and on the surface. Tensions between Orlais and the Dales would still be high, all centered around Andrastianism and Dalish resistance to conversion, but as a strongly established nation with powerful allies nearby, the Dales simply aren’t worth attacking.

There is extreme hostility between Tevinter and the Dales, for obvious reasons, but it would be a tense stand-off with Nevarra and the Waking Sea between them.

Religious spaces would be everywhere in the Dales, and very active. Temples, both canon and non-canon ones, would be bustling with activity of all types, with dedicated priests and priestesses and laymen looking to pray doing their business in the temples at all hours of the day. Major shrines, such as Mythal’s in the Arbor Wilds, would be overflowing with a variety of offerings. Smaller shrines, like the statues we find scattered throughout the game, would feature offering bowls where visitors place things, usually flowers or beads or carved figurines, and make prayers for safe journeys, health, good hunts, what have you.

Andrastianism would exist in the Dales, but have no real foothold. Anyone would be allowed to worship at the temples and shrines and even receive vallaslin, even if they aren’t elves, but vallaslin comes with social and community expectations and responsibilities. Elves also aren’t expected to receive vallaslin and many don’t, particularly elves who are born and raised outside of Dalish communities and elves who feel no draw to any particular god.

There would be no Circles in the Dales, ofc, and Dalish mages would be trained as they are in canon, by experienced older mages. Dalish magic would focus heavily on respecting and working with the world around them, instead of controlling it, and most magic would be centered around healing, plants, and weather. Dalish mages would be used as an example across Thedas as a contrast to Tevinter, a way for mages to exist peacefully outside of Circles, and many non-Dalish mages would be sent to the Dales for asylum and training outside of Circles.

There would be much stronger protections and equalities for elves all across Thedas, with Tevinter being a very notable exception, as elves would have a much firmer political foothold.

The Elven language would also still exist in a full form, developing with the people and being the main language of the Dales.

Also dragons in the Dales would be respected as great friends and allies and left to exist peacefully alongside Dalish settlements. Hunting them would be considered a crime against nature and result in the hunter(s) being sent to the Temple of Mythal for divine judgment.

This got super long and I am so sorry for that. Can you tell that I’ve thought about this a lot?

[lalalots11]

Why is this everything tho- I adore it-

[tikkety-tok]

they looked at each other and said “can you believe this woman???” 😂😂 😂

[daisyannewinchester]

BEtrAyAL! BeTRaYaL oF MoThEr! MOtHer DOeS nOt LOvE uS! AbANdoNmENt! MOtHeR HaS BetRaYed Us! BEtRayAL oF ThE HigHEsT oRdEr! DeAtH FoR MoTheR FoR A thOuSaND YeARs!

[seakingmario]

[dragonfartart]

Vass Trevelyan, known dumbass, who refused templar training when he was younger and now has no idea how to deal with spirits or demons and never listen to the chantry anyway  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 [on youtube] ||| [Audio from]

[lalalots11]

This is why you don't let me listen to a song on loop

[myheccincabbages]

God not to promote my own fan fic again but I’m writing a whole Zuko Joins Early fic where he decided to try and infiltrate the gaang and get Aang THAT way and I’m way too proud of the latest chapter, In Which Zuko Pulls Some Shit (I don’t wanna spoilers because I’m just so proud of it) 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24329704?view_full_work=true

[lalalots11]

Oh no... i read the entire thing in one sitting... Zuko from this fic is my lifeblood now. The relateble disaster. Oh my god. What an Actor. What a legend. (I also wish to point out my disaster Bisexual son Sokka, and my Boy Aang who says Non-Bianary rights) (Also Yue... I adore her... She deserves the world)

[roartowrecks]

halamshiral

[valtsv]

the only valid m/f pairing dynamics are:

stupid as all fuck but has good intentions (for him) & pegs him (for her)

Area Man In Awe of his Amazing Wife (note: the characters need not necessarily actually be married to fit this trope)

but sir, that’s my emotional support fictional mom & dad

“everyone, meet my monster/alien/robot boyfriend”

none of these are mutually exclusive

[valtsv]

for the visual learners in the crowd

[god-sent-gender-bent]

If I may add:

[kirbythegreat]

@god-sent-gender-bent

[toniins]

the misogyny speech

my favourite thing ever in the history of this universe is the misogyny speech. i love it. i love it so much. 

for those who don’t know what the misogyny speech is: australia’s PM julia gillard was our first female prime minister and was bullied relentlessly throughout her career by sexist politicians saying that as a woman she was unfit to lead. and then. then. one day, julia gillard snapped.

the resulting three-minute speech, known simply as the ‘misogyny speech’ in australia, was possibly the most epic smackdown seen in australian political history, surpassed only by “i wanna do you slowly”. it was incredible. students memorised it and marched through the streets yelling it. a national australian choir arranged it as a five-harmony piece. even hillary clinton went out of her way to meet julia gillard and tell her how fucking awesome the misogyny speech was.

i, personally, have the misogyny speech memorised. because i live in tony abbott’s electorate, and my dream of dreams is to see him at the shops one day and follow him while yelling it.

the misogyny speech: as australian as vegemite.

[calledforhelp]

[carrionlaughing]

may the op one day fulfil their dream of dreams 

[alloverthegaf]

it’s long but honestly every second is worth it the whole speech is incredibly inspirational

[alloverthegaf]

“that’s a direct quote by the leader of the opposition so I suggest those groaning take it up with him” Julia Gillard was taking no more shit what an inspiration

[the-rain-monster]

I like that he starts the speech off wryly smiling. That doesn’t last long.

[jumpingjacktrash]

http://www.smh.com.au/federal-politics/political-news/transcript-of-julia-gillards-speech-20121009-27c36.html

for those like me who prefer text

[antique-scarecrow]

[non-newtoniangenderfluid]

This guy really out here lookin like the most stereotypical rich white politician movie bad guy huh

[fuji-domo]

And then he was our prime minister…

[the-wolfofstormsend]

50 Stark House Rules and Other Declarations

1. No medieval weapons are to be given as gifts.

2. Rickon and Arya are not to be left in the kitchen together unsupervised. 

3. No dating Baratheons.

4. Do not have sex in the common areas.

5. No climbing onto the roof.

6. No sneaking out to see your SO.

7. No sneaking in your SO.

8. Do not spike the punch at the Christmas party.

9. Under no circumstances are Theon and Robb allowed to babysit.

10. Baby goats and other farm animals are not allowed to be brought home without permission.

11. Threatening to stab someone is not considered polite dinner conversation.  

12. Threatening to have your dog eat someone is also not considered polite dinner conversation.

13. Archery practice is to be kept outside.

14. Please refrain from antagonising CEOs and politicians on social media.

15. Fuck The Lannisters is not an appropriate slogan for your class president campaign. 

16. Fuck The Lannisters is not an appropriate slogan for your Prom King/Queen campaign.

17. It is not appropriate to trademark the term Fuck The Lannisters and try to sell t-shirts, backpacks and sunglasses at school, even if you claim it is for a business assignment. 

18. Murder is not the solution to everything. Use your words.

19. Overthrowing the government is not the solution to everything.

20. Yelling “I’m a bad bitch, you can’t kill me” is not how you should respond to your teacher giving you detention.

21. The dogs are not allowed to sit at the table, even if you have trained them to sit like people.

22. Dropping fake bodies off the roof is not an acceptable way to welcome the new math tutor into the home. Madam Mordane had to go to therapy.

23. The dogs are still not allowed to sit at the table. Dressing them up in ties and button up shirts does not suddenly make them people.

24. Poison necklaces are not to be worn to school or social events, even if you think someone there should die.

25. Fuck The Freys is also not an appropriate t-shirt slogan.

26. It is not appropriate to offer to “top” someone in the cafeteria.

27. Yelling “GET SOME” is not the appropriate response to another family member offering to “top” another student at school.

28. All SOs must keep their shirts on at all times in the house.

29. Please stop threatening to stab people in your Home Ec class.

30. No one in this house believes in the Lord of Light. Do not scare others by muttering names over a bunsen burner in science class.

31. No, you are not allowed to hand in a slideshow compilation of your favourite memes in lieu of an actual assignment.

32. Running off to be a wilding is not a better idea than running off to join the circus.

33. “An outlaw, like Wenda the White Fawn” is not a serious answer to give when someone asks you what you want to be when you grow up.

34. Stop telling people that Theon knows where to hide a body. We don’t need another visit from the police.

35. Do not try and put people on trial for “being a slimy dick” at family reunions. It’s inappropriate even if said man is slimy and needs to stay away from your mother.

36. The fact that you yelled at him is not what we meant by using your words.

37. Trading blackmail for money at school is not what we meant when we suggested that you should get a job, Bran.

38. Trading blackmail for candy at school is not what we meant when we said that you should get a job, Rickon.

39. Trading mercenary services for money is not what we meant when we said you should get a job, Arya. 

40. King/Queen of the North is not an appropriate name to write on your tests.

41. Sending Robert Baratheon a card for Father’s Day saying “thanks for being a ho” is not appropriate.

42. Do not wear Fuck The Patriarchy shirts to school. We don’t care if you’ve managed to convince your brothers, your sister and your siblings’ boyfriends to wear them too.

43. Trying to bribe someone to “yeet” your cousin out the moon door is not a nice way to celebrate the end of your cousin’s visit from the Vale.

44. Trying to give your Aunt Lysa a heart attack is not a wholesome family bonding experience. Stop doing it.

45. Do not take your baby goat to school. 

46. Boyfriend of the King of the North is not an appropriate name to write on your tests.

47. Sending Robert Baratheon a card for your boyfriend’s birthday saying “thanks for being a ho” is still not appropriate.

48. Do NOT try and shoot an apple off of someone’s head.

49. Threatening to “kneecap that bitch Jeyne Poole” in the school courtyard is not an appropriate response to someone flirting with your boyfriend.

50. Threatening to “feed that bitch Ros” to your dog is also not an appropriate response to someone flirting with your boyfriend.