i'm chewing on the bars

24 | he/they | nonbinary | bi ace | Jew

[nintendometro]

Art Gallery ‘Animal Crossing’ Gamecube

[sr-roto]

[grimeclown]

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

[grimeclown]

Snakeyes Pete is from Toronto he gave me a button once that said "Canadians have the best luck" and i said i thought that was the Irish and he said "I fucking hate the irish" and i said okay

[birdplushie]

often you will see things online where you just have to be like "what a strange thing to say" or "i don't think that's true :)" to yourself and try to move on or you will lose your mind

[weepingwidar]

Nicko Cecchini (Canadian, d.o.b. unknown) - Defensive Measures (2026)

[dogpuppy]

[halondrus]

Grabbing an elf by the ears like handlebars and riding them but not like in a sexual way i just crash into a wall killing us both

[boobachu]

[tarragonthedragon]

i just got the "see where your blood has gone!" email from giving blood but it glitched and just showed me my current location. which. theyre not wrong. that is where most of my blood is

[chillyfeetsteak]

[skeezels]

Chalk is squids road.

[communismlives]

[lakevida]

it doesnt make sense that a penis would get bigger if yoiu jerk it off youre literally compressing it. go crumple a can rn and tell me its bigger im not buying this narrative

[pinene]

Okay So .. This is What Casual Misandry Looks Like Everybody

[lakevida]

im trying to go pro if anyone has any tips

[messsssmer]

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

[fireknightqueelign]

thy mother

[messsssmer]

Art thou for fucking real

[amazoogle]

i set my name to Paul Enis in the app because then the stickers they put on my grocery deliveries would say P. ENIS. it was like this for months, but now all the sudden they say PAUL E. instead

i can't have that. i won't let that happen. what they could have never predicted is that a beautiful woman named Peni Sausage is about to log on

[voidcreations]

Look at my birthday cake...

[apjvff]

this site is gonna get deleted tonight. supposed to be secret. but now you know.

[dogpuppy]

[nayohme]

one of my favorites of all time

[frogmoss1]

that’s kamala harris

[omnybus]

If I was a writer I'd write blatantly incorrect details about real-life stuff on purpose just to annoy people. Shit like reloading a revolver with a magazine or describing bourbon as "sweet and minty"

[tomato-puppy]

ok but thats not at all what bourbon tastes like. i dont think you'd be a good author.

[omnybus]

well if that isn't what it tastes like why did I write it then