d e v o n
KIROKAZE
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
No title available
No title available
Sade Olutola
dirt enthusiast
Misplaced Lens Cap
ojovivo
No title available
YOU ARE THE REASON
Janaina Medeiros
@theartofmadeline
Today's Document
tumblr dot com
No title available
🪼
styofa doing anything
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from Argentina
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Netherlands
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from Singapore
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Finland
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from United States
@little-bit-o-random
I love how some fics are called shit like "They Only Shoot The Birds Who Cannot Sing" and it's like the most insane porn you're ever read and then some fics are called Spit On Me and it's 18,000 words of the most achingly id-scratching prose you've ever read and they're both. They're both so fucking good. thank God for fanfiction.
who is in control?
I hallucinate this post at least 5 times a day
please make me smoke more <3
don’t even give me a chance to stop coughing, put the bong up to my mouth and light it while i’m in the middle of trying to catch my breath, hold my mouth and nose shut when i try to exhale too soon, make me even more lightheaded <33
gaslight me into smoking even more, say things to me like, “baby, you said you wanted to smoke another bowl,” “i just took my hit, it’s yours now, little girl,” i’m too stoned and fuzzy to really argue back anyways <333
i want you to get me so dazed and spacey that i can barely move, i want to be overly sensitive to your touch, i want my whole body to feel fuzzy <3333
i wanna be a moaning, whimpering, spacey mess. make me so stoned so the only thing i can do is desperately look up at you with tears in my eyes as you relentlessly pound into my needy cunt<33333
I don’t really Go Here but u can always rely on this man to read a right wing politician’s outfit for filth
I mean. Just devastating 😭
This man has LETHAL comebacks. Idiots keep trying to get one over on him and he has never missed
Actually no I'm double reblogging this I found the one where he *calls a guy's tailor* to confirm his suit isn't actually bespoke
You cannot win in his arena. This isn't "if you come at the king you better not miss" this is "don't fight a shark in the water"
I gotta add this one
he alerted the FBI about a january 6th rioter because he noticed their ugly shoes lol
“Is your blood also off-the-rack?”
I would never survive if someone said that to me after trying that shit goodBYE
i ADORE the anomitinity of tumblr. when i post stupid ass shit from my mush brain on like snapchat or whatever i gotta deal with messages like “are you okay?” and “what does this even mean”. here i can just post 30 pictures of dinosaurs in a row and my followers will be like YEEEEEAAAA BABBY
the other day i posted something on snapchat saying “if we gave monkeys guns i think deforestation would end” and someone sent me a link to an online therapy site i hate it here
i know this really isn't the point but i'm loving the attempt at spelling anonymity
may all your favorite fanfic writers never lose their hyperfixation and love for your blorbos so they keep writing fanfics about your blorbos forever
i love lesbians. i went to get drinks with a masc who had sent me pictures of her hanging drywall. she confirmed over text that she was sending these to torture me. in person, she was so nervous her hands were trembling. she had to repeat her order twice because she was so quiet. she shakily asked for a hug at the end of the night, the way oliver twist asks for porridge. and then i got home and she sent me a picture of her just in a toolbelt, accompanied by one of the smuttiest text messages i've ever read. meanwhile when i called her to schedule the next date, she had to stop and say, "i'm so sorry i'm so nervous i'm out of breath." just. the whiplash of it all. godbless you every lesbian
where in the HELL did that horse come from
running on fumes
@introvertsnation
Youtube
“Jolene"
Your beauty is beyond compare
I shudder from your Eldritch stare
With scaly skin and fins of emerald green
Why would you leave this gem in the tags
Whenever I do worldbuilding I try to keep this image in mind
i hate this fucking site so much *clicks reblog*
Funniest shit I’ve ever seen.
Ah, the Mary Suez.
hundreds of years of language evolution and innumerable events had to line up in the exact right order for that pun to make sense.
This.
Lmfaoo dead!!
so i went to the zoo yesterday and saw the cutest family of otters ever
and then i checked their names
they’re all NAmED aftER fOOD
EXCEPT kEVIN
WHY
WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)
“we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?”
“kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
“we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”
“i know.”
x
“daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.”
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
“daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
“don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
“father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?”
“your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says.
x
“why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
“we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”
she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.
“it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.”
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.
“why not?” the mermaid asks.
“he’ll win,” the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
“don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.”
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.
“let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.”
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
“you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
“i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.”
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time.
“we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
“i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
“guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.”
“without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?”
“i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?”
“of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.”
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
“you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
“they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.”
“and now?”
“they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?”
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.”
She protects her family.
Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!
HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER
I love this
Holy fuck
Oh wow, this was beautiful. Not sure about the twerking skeleton but it did save me from a story-induced ugly cry so it can stay I guess
gumball snaps and kills james charles
god i know this website will call literally anything feral but this man really did embody the spirit of a rabid animal
For those of you that don’t know this is the sweet and loving kid that is the current voice of Gumball for Cartoon Network. He has a youtube channel and in there you will not find anything like this, because as I said this is a very sweet kid but he just goes completely ape shit when he saw the opportunity to kill James Charles
My favorite part of this is when he first sees him and goes
“NOW’S MY CHANCE!”
Because it implies he’s been planning to kill James Charles. He’s been waiting for this opportunity, and that’s fucking hilarious
