Lockwood and Co @lucycarlyle - Tumblr Blog

Broke: vampires are real, and they act just like in the stories

Woke: vampires are real, but the stories are inaccurate

Bespoke: vampires are real, the stories are inaccurate, and vampires made up those stories to keep humans ignorant

Baroque: vampires are real, and the stories are inaccurate, but vampires reacted to things like Dracula and Masquerade the same way the mafia reacted to The Godfather and now actively try to play out the tropes

ninbinary

Smoke: vampires ar real but oh noes that one got hit by sunlight

Bloke: vampires are real but it's just some guy named Nigel Britishford

Yolk: vampires are real and they arrive in unfertilized chicken eggs

Croak: vampires are frogs

Karaoke: that japanese singing-along-to-songs thing

Quoke: the past tense of Quake

Cloak: the past tense of cake

fullmetalfisting

Would you eat alien meat if aliens got off on you eating their meat?

Yes

No

Nuance

What?

Voting ended on3h

kittydealer

u/Fine-Dog-9874

bloodmoonlich

Rhian Teasdale of Wet Leg at Coachella (April 2026)

queer-as-city-folk

5 minutes of research on what American troops did in Vietnam will make you understand why people called them baby killers

queer-as-city-folk

ilynpilled

wifegideonnav

“bits to use in everyday conversations”

charlesoberonn

Introducing: The Tier Matrix!

For when a 1-dimensional tier list doesn't suffice

charlesoberonn

Inverted version for those who prefer it go from top-to-bottom

nia--san

seasonal-obsession

charlesoberonn

Yes! Fight!

corpsecoded-deactivated20250106

in the club getting psychosexual

sovietunion

themarchingbeetle

papercutsofawriter

how can I gain a cow's respect dm me

deadnotdreaming

yugirimistwalker

silcocertifiedhusband

Vander you fumbled so hard🥹

femmefaramir

older lotr illustrations sometimes depict éowyn wearing ridiculously small armour. apart from the problem general sexualisation of the only female character (who really does anything), there’s another hilarious thought:

éowyn pretended to be dernhelm, a man. to fit in, she must have worn men’s armor. so the armor in the illustrations is normal for rohirrim.

therefore, all the rohirrim rode to war just like that:

hobbit-hole

there’s a thundering sound in the distance as the rohirrim ride into war but rather than hoofbeats it’s the collective sound of all their cheeks clapping

delicatelytoobear

the artist for this particular piece is Frank Frazetta and to be fair to him this is how he drew the orcs armor

so the rohirrim comment is probably not that far off

adhd-trash-mammal

That’s a man who just straight up had a problem with the concept of wearing pants into battle, and I respect that

cumaeansibyl

male or female

hero or villain

sea or land

even in the snow

I guarantee you Frazetta’s Rohirrim were 100% pants-free

missmollyetc

Good Old Frank. That man loved bodies and hated clothes so much

thebyrchentwigges

trist-pkmngal

Frank Frazetta was the reason He-Man was designed like that; the producers conduct a study to see what art appeal the most to children, and Frank’s work came out on top in popularity. So everyone in He-Man is dressed the way they are directly because of Frazetta.

snugglebunchesofeyes

That man gave us the gift of warrior thighs and tits for everyone.

olderthannetfic

Ah, it has been too long since I have seen the no pants post on my dash. And yes, this is a rare case where it wasn’t some sexist nonsense but an egalitarian No Pants Agenda.