¿comedy?

what the heck am i

[homunculus-argument]

Honestly, you don't need dating advice save for "just be yourself". If a guy isn't seduced by your extensive lecture about coealacanths, or a girl isn't impressed by you gaming the McDonald's systems to finesse yourself 30 free chicken nuggets, you're on a date with the wrong person. Not a bad person, but one that isn't the right match for you, and the way you want to live.

First dates are for showing someone "hey this is the kind of life I like to be living", them doing the same, until you find someone who clicks and you both think "fuck yeah I want to live like this." Whether that's sitting in a café judging joggers, or casually committing small crime for shits and giggles.

[couriernewvegas]

[muppetshow2026]

they call me the problem ignorer for reasons that i know but dont feel like addressing right now

[toastbutteregg]

[rumpledspinster]

When I was young I had this book called people who work at night and as a little kid it was really comforting to know that there were people awake while I was asleep (especially bakers for some reason).

[punished-venom-solitair-e]

its so sweet to me whenever a reconstruction of a neanderthal's face shows up on social media and people are like "oh they would have loved minecraft" "they would have loved weed brownies" it's so sweet. i hope that continues on to the next stage of human evolution. i want whoever comes next to dig me up, reconstruct my face, and for the girlbloggers of this far-flung civilization to go "duuuude she would have loved churfing back a freefing zarbee"

[sugary-sheep]

(lights a cigarette) nobody even wants to play toys anymore. (puts the cigarette out on a play-dough ashtray) because of work.

[catchymemes]

[gabrieldreyfuss]

When you find the one

[mrbulian]

[trans-mouse]

This is the funniest thing I’ve seen in weeks. Literally, I’ve never been this funny in my entire goddamn life

[cmyknoise]

a gem, this is a god damn gem

[hellsbells-zelsbels-archived]

you owe me seven dollars now

[joshpeck]

[fujoshiwarrior]

cringe blood in my fail circulatory system

[demilypyro]

cringe hormones in my fail brain

[pancakeke]

cringe nerves in my fail joints

[officialfist]

cringe bones in my fail muscles

[joey-wheeler-official]

cringe stimuli to my fail senses

[carnival-phantasm]

epic blood in my huge meat

[egberts]

[tiktoks-we-like]

[samitch]

[incredifoehl]

this is the frat version of that sorority opening the gates of hell

[nintendocafe]

Bee Simulator | $39.99 Buy-Now!

Experience life from the perspective of a Bee

Play with friends and family in either co-op or PvP

Explore a beautifully crafted world to your heart’s content

[blazy-maze-cave]

hello????? I thought this was a fucking shitpost???

[est-nord]

[joshpeck]

this is a pokémon stadium

[possums-against-cops]

i would like to.. become a bumble bee. sit on flowers. be yellow. not go to school. not understand capitalism.

[todaysbird]

DIRECT ACTION

[deactivated-355224788-deactivat]

Vandalism doesnt change the system, it just slows it down and costs money. And no costing money won't change things either. It just goes on the national debt.

[todaysbird]

are you...talking to the cockatoo