The World Belongs To Those Who Read

//damn good chef//lovable savagry//cosplayer//reserved weeb//21//Bi✌️ ♎️☀️♋️🌕INFP #YouWillBeFound Twitter: @magicbananas923 Insta: @magicalreadingbubble

[tahthetrickster]

there’s only 4 hours of labor day left and absolutely nobody on my dash posted todaybor day is labor day. fucking unbelievable. i have to do everything around here

[tahthetrickster]

it’s that time of year again lads

[tahthetrickster]

good morning americans

[not-a-space-alien]

Parents be like “you know you can talk to me about anything right?” and then make it extremely clear it will go very poorly if you talk to them about specific things

[magicalreadingbubble]

Todoroki: *phone rings*

Bakugo: *looks at who is calling* HA! You call for father “daddy” still?

Todoroki: *answers phone without breaking eye contact*

Todoroki: Hey Midorya

Bakugo: *chokes on drink*

[windycarnage]

when u have so many things u want to draw that it becomes overwhelming so u just do nothing

[astrodael]

Ok so last week I was hanging out with a friend and he told me that, when he was a child, he used to have a vhs tape with some random tv shows on it. And he says, “you know that sheep gif? that show was on the vhs, but I can’t remember how it was called, and google isn’t helping.” so we spent the weekend trying to find it, and we did! anyways the video was made by a cult

[fuchinobe]

This post sent me down an insane rabbit hole last night, the cult that made this has a thing for fantasizing about having sex with Jesus:

Cool tips for hot sex!

[pigeonbusiness]

I have never encountered a post that legit made me feel like I’ve been punched in the chest before.

[hungry-skeleton]

This started as a relatable artist meme but quickly turned into a horny cultist-driven train wreck

[vivaciousarcanist]

[brainbubblegum]

Oh hey, look, it’s the cult that brainwashed the guitarist from Fleetwood Mac

[skodasforge]

This is also the same cult that Rose McGowan and Joaquin and River Phoenix grew up in

[skodasforge]

[ownerofidaho]

this post just gets worse every time i see it.

[youhaveaguineapigwhere]

[incorrectwtnc]

August: Small creatures are much more vicious. It's because their anger has less space to be bottled up in.

Piper: Ridiculous. Give me ONE example of this.

Ezra: Spiders.

Finn: Wasps.

Omen: Terriers.

Alkar: You.

[oaksy-deactivated20180119]

texas confession

i’ve never seen snow irl

[oaksy-deactivated20180119]

i posted this and it snowed like two inches a week later for the first time in like 35 years wtf

[oaksy-deactivated20180119]

texas confession

i’ve never had a million dollars

[bettydraperlookingpissed]

[goldkat-g0negrey-deactivated201]

reblog the Don Draper of getting a job he’s unqualified for and you’ll have 10 years of getting jobs you’re unqualified for

[mediocrepresident]

YES

[fortangel]

No but my dad actually did this at McDonalds in the 70s!

So here’s a true story: my father, sometime in the 70s was looking for his first job. He went to the local McDonalds and told the staff, [manager’s name] said I was supposed to start today. They took his word for it and started training him and by the time the manager saw him and asked who he was, people just said “oh that’s the new guy.”

Somehow this actually worked. My dad worked there for a couple of years as a cook. He even won an award plaque which he had on the wall until the day he died.

[trilllizard666]

Confidence Helps

[advanced-procrastination]

Me, walking into FBI Headquarters:

“Name’s Burt Macklin, I work here now.”

[folkremedies]

harry potter starts a youtube channel and all of his videos are called like:  

“STORY TIME: I WAS A TEENAGE CHOSEN ONE”

 “BABYSITTING MY FRIEND’S WEIRD DEAD HORSE (INVISIBLE)” 

“THERE ARE DARK WIZARDS TRYING TO KILL ME BUT ONLY THREE PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT MY HOUSE”

[folkremedies]

would like to add to this post and say that harry is uploading these videos to standard muggle youtube. people see this kind of scruffy, obviously Fucked Up kid rambling nonsense into his deskptop camera and just think he is really really good at shitposting

[folkremedies]

Harry, *filming himself with one hand, throwing raw meat at a seemingly empty space with the other*: “So anyways, you guys probably can’t see him through the camera lens but this weird fuck belongs to my best friend Luna who can’t actually take care of him right now because she’s out riding drag- er, um she’s on vacation in Romania so I have to do it. Um, the only reason I can see him is because I watched my close friend get murdered by an evil wizard when I was fourteen which, by the way, was around the same time I started to think I might be gay. Anyone else?”

Teens on tumblr who have no idea he’s being completely serious: “This is the only man alive who truly Gets me.”

[professorsparklepants]

Hermione finds out about his channel because someone she went to primary school with posts it to Facebook and then she marathons his entire channel overnight to make sure he’s not going to get arrested for breaking the statute of secrecy

[ayalaatreides]

Hot Take: they can’t arrest him for jackshit because Hermione shows them Muggle memes and demonstrates that the Youtube audience legitimately has no reason to believe he’s anything but an elaborate shitposter.

[elliepomegranate]

Slughorn:let me tell you the story of the kid who survived and killed the dark lord who was in this exact class where i teach him the most important part of potions

Muggleborn:cool cool

Slughorn:Harry Potter

Muggleborn: THE FREAKIN YOUTUBER

[millennial-review-deactivated20]

[rosswoodpark]

Everyone agrees! Your intestines squirming around like eels in your belly is horrifying!

[rosswoodpark]

IM SORRY THEY FUCKING WHAT NOW?

[thatthinginyourshoe-deactivated]

The racks even have hooks to keep them from squirming right off and onto the floor apparently. They desperately want to escape our bodies

[aesclepianbanshee]

Intestines are muscles, and function involuntarily. If your muscles did not squirm around, then they wouldn’t be able to move food through them, thus you wouldn’t gain any nutrients from anything you eat, and the food would spoil and make you sick. I agree the squirmy wormies are a bit unsettling, but hey it’s actually really good for you! Your intestines work so hard for it! Please give them a little love.

[official-liberty-prime-deactiva]

I don’t like that get them out

[brattylikestoeat]

Okay…this is unsettling.

[daglout]

This post is actually my nightmare

[micaxiii]

Breaking News! You are full of eels!

[iridium-light]

#wait til you hear about how they put them back#they just stuff them back in and the mesenteric lining slowly pulls them back into place#no helping required#so it 100% looks like a bunch of squiggly eels getting comfortable in their space again (via lampfaced)

[awellboiledicicle]

we all make jokes about humans being weird, and aliens finding them strange as hell but honestly we’re very creepy and strange creatures

[kanekooll]

King: What you even have?

Elaine: A knife!

King: NO!

Ban cackles in the background

[incorrectnnt]

Meliodas: Anyone wanna get in an argument with me?

Ban: Ok Elaine is better than Elizabeth

Meliodas: I was kidding but you know what fuck you for real

[thesinsneedhelp]

King: Good morning.

Gowther: Good morning.

Merlin: Good morning.

Diane: You all sound like robots, why don't you spice it up a little bit?

Ban: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS

[lemongrace]

[opinions-about-tiaras]

The Hong Kong/Mei thing is incredibly brilliant on the part of the protestors.

The PRC, whenever a fictional character or symbol becomes a symbol of resistance, protest, or ridicule to its ridiculous corporate fascism, tends to respond by banning the source materiel. It banned fuckin’ Winnie the Pooh because memers kept posting pictures of Pooh side-by-side with Xi Jinping in the same poses.

So in response to Blizzard deciding to get down on all fours and open wide for the PRC, the HK protest movement responded by trying to make Mei, a Blizzard character of Chinese origin, once of the faces of their movement. Should they succeed, this is a big win-win, because then the PRC has two choices. They can lower the boom, and ban Mei and/or Overwatch from China, which would be a big deal for Blizzard.

This, of course, will weaken the PRC’s hand with other corporations or entities going forward, because if you bow to Chinese pressure but China fucks you over anyway, why bother bending the knee?

Or they can ignore it, giving a protest movement an unbanned and quasi-legitimate rallying symbol. There’s no downside.

It’s especially brilliant because the PRC fuckin’ LOVES Mei-Ling Zhou. She’s precisely the face China wants to present to the west and to the developing world; a cheerful lover of science, socially responsible, benevolent, friendly, not at all crazy evil.

These are crazy times we live in, friends.

[magicalreadingbubble]

✊✊✊

[bnhkiribakuinco]

*In grocery store*

Kirishima: *announcing through the mic* Um, Hi?? This is Kirishima, I kinda lost my boyfriend here today.

Store worker: *softly* Describe him.

Kirishima: He’s the most handsome man you’d ever see, and he is very strong and manly, and he can totally beat the crap out of anybody-

Bakugou: *smirking proudly at a random stranger* That’s me, he’s talking about me.

[omgahgase]

I just *clenches fist* love Ban so much