"The Butt Flap Of My Soul Is Down"

My name is Danie and this is my taz/critical role/ podcast blog where I obsess over nerds playing dungeons and dragons and (usually) gay podcasts. I'm 25, Canadian, and completely and hopelessly in love with Percy and Vex (and extension Laura and Taliesin). Profile picture by @meglm

[tuna-fishh]

I heard someone's back in town

[boxonthenile]

"I asked ChatGPT—" Well I consulted Pryce & Carter's Deep Space Survival Procedure and Protocol Manual and it said to be wary of shark attacks.

[punkryuki]

*gives my dog a new toy*

[in Final Pam voice] "Enjoy entertainment, baby."

[punkryuki]

[dinah-lance]

perc’ahlia icons - reblog/like if you’re using!

[demisexualbolairelathalia]

that scene in pride and prejudice with lizzie, darcy and georgiana when georgiana gives darcy The Look ™

but it’s cassandra giving percy The Look ™ once she’s figured out that her brother is head over heels in love with vex

[omegaverse]

if i were a wizard of the court i would kill every king and lord i could before they put me down like a dog

[omegaverse]

all the people with wizard urls who reblogged this: i love you dearly

[girleraser]

rest in peace light yagami, rest in peace. shame you never got to use reddit, you would have loved it

[deaconsbeacon]

game: here are two choices ur decision will affect the story

me:

[insomniac-arrest]

the funniest character in media remains Burgerpants from Undertale

comedic characters who are lazy husbands with no moral compass? Tired. Boring. Been done.

comedic characters who are minimum wage catboys on the cusp of mental breakdowns? fuckin hilarious, timeless, visionary

[marksmeninlove]

Hi my name is Tiberius Stormwind from Draconia and I have bright red scales (that’s how I got my name) with a tail and a political family that stands behind me and a 20 charisma that is useless and a lot of people tell my I look like Orion Acabra (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Allura Vysoren but I wish I was because she’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a dragonborn but my clothes are nice and expensive. I have chromatic scales. I’m also an ex-member of Vox Machina and I now run a show called the Draconian Knights. I’m a sorcerer (in case you couldn’t tell) and I consider myself the main character of any plot line. I love meta-gaming and I get all my talent from it. For example when my team fought a beholder I waited until it was almost dead and then got the killing blow. I was walking around Emon. It was cloudy and grey, which meant I stood out, which I was very happy about. Kima stared at me. I put up my middle finger at her.

[cranesofibycus]

inspirational dancing with keyleth | 1x106 

I wanted to make a gif set out of this but honestly you deserve to watch (and listen to) this moment of complete madness in its entirety 

[thedungeonofbaddecisions]

DM: Time to get out the Monster Manual, or as some people like to call it: the Waifu Catalogue.

Me: WHAT.

[blimpyou]

Sometimes I smash or pass the whole book

[thedungeonofbaddecisions]

What the fuck guys

[ultimatefangirl-exe]

I like to smash or pass monsters in DnD and Pathfinder books.

[theneverlandpiratewitch]

BugBears are legit.

[thedungeonofbaddecisions]

can we not

[crankywitchgaia]

@celestial-guardian-ragnarok @chika-ann

Smash or pass

[chika-ann]

Heh… that depends… what’s on the list

[thedungeonofbaddecisions]

dogs

there are dogs on that list

you wanna fuck a dog

wait

this is tumblr

don’t answer that

[sciencegenius]

dogs? pass.

Liches tho……. ;)))

[thedungeonofbaddecisions]

That’s actually not a terrible entry to thirst after. I mean, you could technically count it as necrophilia, but its consensual necrophilia, so you do you.

[definitelybeholderrpgideas]

What the fuck

[thedungeonofbaddecisions]

Of all the reblogs and additions to this post, this is the one you’re shocked by?

[definitelybeholderrpgideas]

Consensual necrophilia is not a phrase I thought I’d hear. Then again this is tumblr, so maybe that’s on me

[noblevagrant65]

Hot take: the term consensual necrophilia also applies to vampires, since they’re undead creatures. Wanna fuck Strahd? You’re in the same boat with the lich fuckers. 

However, what I think the real treasure we’re all sleeping on is liches….in love. Just immortal wizard gals being pals.

[thedungeonofbaddecisions]

I am absolutely here for the immortal undead lesbians

[tigressflower007]

IS IT STILL NECROPHILIA IF YOU’RE DEAD TOO??

[thedungeonofbaddecisions]

I don’t think so?

[vriska-coded]

Ok next topic is a dragon and a human beastiality for the dragon?

[thedungeonofbaddecisions]

both are sentient, so its just interspecies sex.

[novas-grimoire]

…I am now reminded of that argument I got into about whether or not a half-dragon would have a cloaca.

[thedungeonofbaddecisions]

[pwbi]

This post is an entire dungeon of bad decisions at this point

[choryllis]

I think you mean legendary decisions

[thedungeonofbaddecisions]

Legendary for being bad

This is not what i expected when i started this blog

To be fair, i wasnt expecting a whole lot when i started this blog in 2014

But it definitely didnt include 10k notes of thirsty monsterfuckers

[the-cephalon-weave]

11 approaching 12 thousand

[thedungeonofbaddecisions]

Fuck you’re right

[scamgar]

ok but can we just talk about abberations cuz like they’re intelligent and adults but their minds are inscrutable to humans. so like does that mean you can consent to sex with them? cuz you’re on wayyyy different levels of intelligence? but also they’re an adult with the capacity to give and understand consent? but could a normal sentient’s mind comprehend consenting to sex with them? help me out here i’m confused.

[thedungeonofbaddecisions]

If both parties are sentient, its just interspecies sex, stop trying to overcomplicate things. Just because one species is better at calculus does not complicate the less intelligent species’ capacity for consent.

[scamgar]

true but in most fiction an abberation’s mind functions in a completely different way from a non-abberation. essentially what i meant to point out was the potential issue of blue and orange morality

[thedungeonofbaddecisions]

Are you seriously trying to start a philosophical debate on this post?

Like, I admire the chutzpah, dude, but it doesn’t matter if one species has a totally alien concept of everything. If both parties know what they want, communicate what they want, and agree with each other on it, its fully informed consent on each side and therefore just regular interspecies sex. Sentience is sentience, even if the way it manifests is wildly different.

[scamgar]

honestly? i was drunk out of my mind both times i saw this post. also you make a very good point and are correct that flavors of sentience aside, as long as both parties are sentient and consent it’s fine. i apologize for drunk me’s ramblings.

[thedungeonofbaddecisions]

… you get philosophically argumentative when you’re drunk? Thats a mood, my friend

[curriedsugar]

what even is this post

[spaceunicornslover]

Not sure. I lost it somewhere and I’m not sure where. Did it change from one subject to another or is it just me not understanding?

[averycuteknight]

D&D logic & arguments

[thedungeonofbaddecisions]

this post is a disaster and a tragedy and the essence of both D&D and Tumblr, what do y’all want from me

[anagramofbrat]

…wooooow

[cipheramnesia]

This post is truly a journey and yet if we look back to the innocent times of that original post we must all find ourselves reflecting: what did OP expect was going to happen?

[thedungeonofbaddecisions]

Honestly? I didn’t really have any expectations. I figured, “hey, my DM said something stupid and funny, perfect, I’ll put it on the blog with the rest of the stupid and funny things people say in my D&D games,” and figured that would be that.

That being said, this is the Dungeon of Bad Decisions. As in, there are no good choices made here.

Also my IRL dump stat was probably Wisdom. I definitely have at least a -2 to Perception and Insight, I can tell you that. Forethought is not ny specialty.

[definitelybeholderrpgideas]

Okay but this does raise the question of hyper-inteligent races with incredibly long lifespans. For instance, if a horny bard was trying to screw a god, from the bard’s perspective they’re both mature adults. However, by the standards of the god who has lived for millions of years and has a mind the size of a galaxy, the bard may be just a child. So, assuming the god consents, what would the implications of that be?

Now if you excuse me I need to go bleach my brain and stop thinking about this.

[thedungeonofbaddecisions]

Ok but was it really necessary to make us suffer with you

Did the potential for eldritch pedophilia really need to be put out on the internet

[abominableanalyst]

Yes, yes it did.

I’d argue to follow the harkness rule, as long as both the god & the mortal are considered adults for their species, its not pedophilic.

In the same vein, if an elf was 300 years old and a gos was like 5000 but the age of majority for that pantheon is 6000 then it is pedophilic.

[definitelybeholderrpgideas]

But what if, even though the mortal is technically a mature adult, the god doesn’t see them as such? Sure, at that point it wouldn’t technically be wrong, but still…

[souldevowerer98]

Made the mistake of sitting for half an hour reading the notes after reading this post. Now I send out the knowledge of this post and its depravity to any of you who haven’t seen it already.

[thedungeonofbaddecisions]

I’ve always subscribed to the friendship style of “I Saw Something Horrible on the Internet, Suffer With Me”

[alza-huncka]

Always beautiful to see this come back, but at the same time. How does a dragon bone a turtle to get a Dragon Turtle? Or for that matter, how does one get a Kraken? I want someone to explain why we haven’t seen the offspring of a dragon boning a centaur!!! Serious, centaurs need Overpowered Loves as well!!

[thedungeonofbaddecisions]

You’re assuming that dragon turtles and krakens are hybrids and not their own independent species, when I’m pretty sure they are.

[newlywebb722]

[thedungeonofbaddecisions]

I’ve been given another meme!

[confused-as-frick]

Holy shit what the hell is this even.

[thedungeonofbaddecisions]

It is many sads

(PS i like your banner pic)

[cygnus76556]

There are questions here about hybrids. According to 5e mythos, dragon turtles have always been their own race, and Krakens were most likely a magical science experiment. But bringing up centaurs and dragons, or dragons and almost anytging rises a new question, even if there is concent and age equivalency, what about size differences? How could a dragon mate with a human, or a centuar without killing it’s love bits?

[thedungeonofbaddecisions]

Finally, some real questions! The answer to the dragon/human one is generally shapeshifting, or assuming male human and female dragon, that penetration is not going to be the pleasure focus of the act. For the centaur and a human… male human, female centaur requires extreme flexibility on both parts. The other way around… well, I’m told some people use dildos modeled after horse cocks, so… lots of prep and a genetic/preferential predisposition towards that sort of thing, along with the extreme flexibility? Same-sex relations might be easier, tbh.

[durroth]

the *real* question is how did we get through the liches talk midway through the thread without a boning pun

[thedungeonofbaddecisions]

Shit you’re right

[duels-of-infrno]

Writer: HOLD IT! Getting back to the dragon thing, what on earth do you mean by not for pleasure? If the size difference is great enough, it gives the male human a MUCH higher chance of actually getting an unpolymorhed dragon pregnant, and making her feel great at the same time. Though things would definitely get award if little dude got stuck, it wouldn’t be an emergency if he had a spell or potion of waterbreathing

[thedungeonofbaddecisions]

Are…. are you suggesting he fuck her with his whole body?

[dzamie]

Dude there’s an ENTIRE FETISH around a guy going into a dragon pussy. Sometimes being used like a dildo, sometimes just wiggling around in there.

Sometimes being turned into a half-dragon/dragonborn because of ambiguous dragon fetish magic.

And that’s not even starting on the M dragon/F human version.

[thedungeonofbaddecisions]

I’m not surprised by this knowledge, but somehow I am still disappointed.

[elementgermanium]

if you somehow managed to go this long without knowing what vore is then congrats

[thedungeonofbaddecisions]

Oh, no, I know about vore. I did manage to make it this far without learning any details, but I should have known it would be this post that would cure me of that.

[tasteful-taako]

Yeah this is how Crystal Kingdom went right

[wormpit]

*taako voice* listen,

[criticalmonstah]

one of my favorite cr things is the faces Matt makes when the party is talking about stupid ass shit, but the conversation is technically in character so he can’t interrupt them– only sit quietly and listen in agony

[dovescape]

i wish bards weren’t turned into the jokey silly class of thots, for zero reason other than the fact that i cannot comprehend them being able to cast power word kill

[alexithetransformingknight]

They can cast power word kill???

[dovescape]

according to roll20 they can

pompous skinny human man in puffy pants: anyways heres wonderwall [strums lute]

enemy barbarian: [dies instantly]

[princecharmingtobe]

Obviously Power Word Kill is just Vicious Mockery turned up to 11. You insult them so hard they just die on the spot.

[dovescape]

then hecklers at my sold-out fiddle performance of the year better be ready for my dumb face to be the last thing they see before the force of me saying “suck my balls you motherfucker” shatters their skull on impact

[sushigrade]

SSSSSSSHOT THROUGH THE HEART

AND I’M TO BLAME

[battlecrazed-axe-mage]

Bards are the fucking rawest DnD class, and my absolute favorite is when people play on the duality of “haha I tell funny joke” and “I’m going to kill you with your own brain now”

[thevastnessof]

did anybody else have a moment as a kid/teen where you suddenly realized that you were more than likely never going to have one of those big adventures that you read abt in YA novels. and u were going to just have a normal life with normal problems, and got real sad. and even tho u now see value in a regular life, part of you still wants magic powers and a rag tag group of ride-or-die friends who are out to save the world

[puffier]

That’s why dnd is a human need and deserves a place on maslow’s heirarchy