kachow!!!!!

dawn, rebranded

[orcboxer]

I have just combined all rice in the world into a single rouse

[knight-of-ashes]

It's midnight on a Sunday and my dash is several reblogs of an unscrollably-long and ridiculously well cited article on hagfish sex. I'm never leaving this website.

[excitementshewrote]

[dreamstars]

[despazito]

[saintofsilence]

Elephant seal flipper

[roriferis]

Two older men just walked by my window.

Old man 1: Do you really think Amy is manipulative?

Me: (Oh this sounds juicy. Who is Amy. What did Amy do.)

Old man 2: I don't know. I think Laurie is a liar though.

Me: (The plot thickens, keep talking boys)

Old man 1: I don't think Amy should have burned Jo's papers, but I don't blame her for marrying Laurie. I don't think she's a puppetmaster. Jo said no. How is Laurie a liar?

Me: (shocked pikachu face)

[kuttithevangu]

One of you should adopt this dog so I can look at him more

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

literally two days after I reblogged this this dog showed up in my yard

reblog to spawn a dark brindle pit with white socks and chest splash within one week

[wizardarchetypes]

it’s sooo funny when rude customers encounter employees who can deny them service for the first time.

i was working at a little cafe where I could deny service over bad behavior, harassment etc. & mask mandates had just ended a week before & already people were being weird about me still wearing mine—an N95, the kind shaped kinda like a duckbill.

so this man walked in, looked at me sooo scathingly, laughed at me, and said “damn. never known a woman to choose…practicality over looks.”

And I just said, “oh. you can go, you’re not getting a drink.” And he said, “what???”

I said, “sir, you just walked in at 6 am & called women impractical and me ugly in one sentence.”

And he was so astonished he didn’t even argue he just turned around and left 💀🙏🏻 it was like he suddenly became self aware

[carolinalaurel]

One summer I was running ferry rides across a lake so people could see the waterfalls without walking 6 miles when a guy snapped my bra strap as he was boarding the boat. So i immediately threw him off, he started yelling for my manager, my boss cheerfully informed him that, yeah, she’s the captain of the boat and she can kick off anyone she wants. He goes to storm off, looks expectantly at his girlfriend, and she just goes, “Well, I’M not walking six miles, Michael! I’ll meet you back at the car!” and sits right back down!!!!

The expression on his face when he was told that he couldn’t get on the boat, then immediately told that his girlfriend was ditching him? PRICELESS. he just blinked at her and then stormed off like a child. I gave her a free hat and was like maybe rethink this relationship…….

[hickeywiththegoodhair]

i once had this fucker come up to order a beer. while i pour it he shows me the wanky fucking chemical structure tattoo on his arm and he’s like “hey. you know what this is” i was like “nah sorry” (never cared abt chemistry in school, plus having to look at a some rando’s pretentious tattoo gives me the douche chills). he decides to respond with “heh. you must not read many books”

i immediately stop pouring his beer. i reply: “heh. you must not want this beer.” thirsty boy immediately starts groveling like a worm “please please no i do want the beer im sorry im sorry” believe me when i say it was one of the most pathetic things ive ever witnessed

[lezbadeez]

gotta love people immediately backpedaling when they realise that there are Consequences To Being Mean

[lastvalyrian]

I genuinely believe that part of why it has become so normalized to be openly callous and evil in politics is that customer service culture has trained affluent people that they can treat everyone they consider beneath them however they want and still be treated kindly.

[charlesoberonn]

Female Dwarves - With or without beards?

With beards

Without beard

Remaining time: 3 days 10 hours

[charlesoberonn]

Child Dwarves - With or without beards?

With beards

Without beards

Remaining time: 3 days 10 hours

[charlesoberonn]

Baby Dwarves - With or without beards?

With beards

Without beards

Remaining time: 3 days 10 hours

[charlesoberonn]

They shed their baby beards to make room for their adult beards. Like with baby teeth.

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

crush totally wasn't impressed by my miraculous flying machine fml

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

oh my god i just saw her get onto an airship with a woman whose tophat has at least twice as many sprockets as mine. i will be killing myself with an elaborate pneumatic pistol tonight

[teaboot]

My mom likes to tell me about how when I was a little kid riding public transport with her I'd always smile and giggle and chat with weird old ladies who smelled like cat pee and homeless folks and strangers dressed in bizarre outfits but any time a tidy and respectable businessman in a suit and tie waved at me I'd immediately clam up, and she takes a great deal of pride in my supposed inherentability to clock personalities but the truth is I do vaguely remember those bus rides, and it was never about the clothes or the hair or the smell, but more because everyone "strange" asked interesting questions and listened to what I had to say and seemed to think about what I said while the neat and tidy and rigid folks only ever acted like they were going through the motions, which was boring as hell and also pretty annoying

[teaboot]

Well-to-do finance manager with tidy shoes: "Why hello, sweetheart. Can you say 'hi'? Aren't you cute. Are you on a trip with your mom?"

4 year old me: why must we do this

Fantastic old woman in the leopard print coat: "Why yes, my tooth IS real silver! Nobody ever asks me that. Do you like cats?"

4 year old me, suddenly paying attention: Finally, A Person Of Intellect

[trying-trying2lyk]

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

[justatiredlittlesnail]

[creekfiend]

this dog wants to be someone's comedic sidekick so fucking bad

[iphisesque]

my dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “early 2000s harry potter livejournal forum” 😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd 💯

me: yeah whatever. i don’t feel shit.

5 minutes later: dude i swear i just saw cassandra clare post an incest fic

my buddy angua9 pacing: msscribe is lying to us

[longseasons]

[gwydionmisha]

Bonus: If I buy a book I get to keep it! The publisher can't turn up at my house at random and confiscate all the books I bought.

[creekfiend]

vet tech: so when was she bred?

us: WE DON'T KNOW. SHE SHOWED UP AT OUR HOUSE TWO DAYS AGO

vet tech: oh. Ohhhhhh

[creekfiend]

!!! the skeletons aren't fully mineralized yet !!!! 🎉 vet thinks we can keep her spay appointment next week! getting supplies just in CASE she goes before then to be prepared, but glad to be wrong about how close she was to whelping, lol. yaaay. the vet DID say she can see six or seven on xray So Far 😱 but we think we can safely spay next week.

the vet and techs were all really shocked by how sweet and stable she is and one was even like "she kind of acts like a service dog?" which I took to mean she was observing the same stuff that I was when I was thinking yesterday that she seems like she has received some positive reinforcement training. she's a very mysterious dog. she needed to take her Emotional Support Cow Ear with her to the x-ray, but she wasn't guard-y about it at all when the techs picked it up to give back to her if she dropped it etc.

so ummm... who wants the world's Sweetest Baby Pitbull? 😂 she should be ready for a new home once healed from her spay, if no one claims her. I'd keep her if it was at all practical, she's the world's sweetest lovingest doggie.

[creekfiend]

[creekfiend]

Dog is in northeast Georgia (Habersham county) but we can probably meet halfway somewhere. Hit me up if you're interested in her and I can answer questions! she turned up just two days ago so I'll know more about her after she's been spayed and recovered a bit but it doesn't hurt to start putting feelers out now.