The Memessiah

Converting the world, one meme at a time

[memeuschrist]

[conveniencestoreman]

my jonas brother in christ

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

instead of killing characters off at random for shock value, may i propose a hip new trend: keeping characters alive at random for shock value. by all logic, this character should be dead. there’s no possible explanation for how they continue to shuffle ‘round this mortal coil. maybe we literally saw them die onscreen back in the passe era of shock value deaths. and yet, there they are. alive before our eyeballs.

[thunderingtyphoons]

#bible did this with jesus

[spiritunwilling]

gods weakest soldier. minor events kick the shit out of me daily god hands me his lightest battles and i start sniffling and fumbling the bag

[shamelessdelusioncycle]

how i imagine this scene in the Bible actually went

Jesus appearing to the 12 in a locked room after the crucifixion: Peace be- stop screaming it’s just me- Peace be with you

[alanaisalive]

I kind of imagine that “peace be with you” is a bit of a euphemistic translation for a phrase that was more like “everyone calm the f*ck down!”

[memeuschrist]

This one is gold.

[memeuschrist]

me: sneezes a dozen times in a row Lord have mercy–

catholic friend: Christ have mercy.

[memeuschrist]

Jesus: I saw you hanging out with the Pharisees the other day.

Judas: Jesus, it’s not what you think-

Jesus: I WON’T HESITATE BITCH

[lord-kitschener]

I mean the whole damn point of the Nativity story is that the supposed son of God (interpret Jesus how you fucking want, of course) was born to a couple of poor, exhausted peasants in the stable for the inn, and his first bed was a feeding trough for animals. That would nowadays be like a poor couple where the mother gives birth in a parking garage behind the motel because they couldn’t find a better place and nobody else would take them in. It’s a pretty gritty setting, and the idea is that God was reborn in some of the rock-bottom lowest circumstances. The only thing majestic was all the angels and shit, and of course motherly love

I get that a lot of the art portraying Madonna and Child as fabulously wealthy europeans in splendid robes and golden light was meant to glorify God + whichever nobility was sponsoring the artist, and while of course it’s genuinely beautiful art, it just always struck me as horribly missing the point, which is that the supposed son of God started in incredibly humble circumstances, among the kind of people that everyone else looks down on

[ziegfeldghirl]

‘Massacre des Innocents’ by Leon Cogniét, 1824. Although the Feast of the Holy Innocents is in a couple of days time, this painting is still really relevant in that it portrays Mary as how She really was: a scared refugee mum, so fearful that Her son was going to be one of the Innocents killed by King Herod.

[durnesque-esque]

My new favorite mordern interpretation is this work, José y Maria by Everett Patterson (http://www.everettpatterson.com)

[libraford]

I had to look at this like FIVE TIMES to register all the layers of symbolism going into the piece by Patterson. 

The hoodie as a veil. 

Weisman cigarettes

Each of them is haloed by an advertisement sticker. 

No Vacancy sign on the motel. 

Dove sticker over Maria’s head. 

Neon sign with a star symbol also over Maria’s head. 

The crown over the ‘Dave’s City Motel’ sign. “New Manger.”

The sign behind Jose’s elbow likely says ‘Herod.’

The wee little plant growing through the cracks at their feet. 

It’s like a New Testament ‘I Spy.’ I love it!

Ugh.

New favorite interpretation of the nativity. 

[alextheraven]

Ezekiel 34 15-16 on the phone

[captainlordauditor]

I looked up that verse and

15 I myself will tend my sheep and have them lie down, declares the Sovereign Lord.16 I will search for the lost and bring back the strays. I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak, but the sleek and the strong I will destroy. I will shepherd the flock with justice.

Wow. The amount of detail that’s put into this piece is amazing.

[fruit-circus]

@silver-falling-star

[the-other-one-also]

It’s back!!! !!

[hymnsofheresy]

“mary did you know?” is really just some guy mansplaining to mary about her own son

[hymnsofheresy]

wow! just found out that two white protestant men wrote that god awful song! that’s so surprising :)

[hymnsofheresy]

i love how they collectively forgot the entire magnificat, where mary explains pretty clearly that she does know what jesus is going to do.

but of course. that would require acknowledging that mary wasn’t some silent obedient girl who’s only worth was her uterus.

[philbatrax]

[stronk-anime-nya]

If I'm ever forced to teach bible school, this is the kind of shit I'll force my students to look at

[memeuschrist]

I'm teaching middle school catechism and I'm definitely putting this on the board at some point

[illness-deactivated20180325]

WHY WOULD PORN BLOGS FOLLOW ME I’M LITERALLY KIN WITH A POPE

[thank-you-everyone-deactivated2]

best sentence so far of 2017

[thank-you-everyone-deactivated2]

going to print this out and find an elderly Lebanese woman to explain it to

[cats2019forthenintendoswitch]

Ok so everyone is deactivated but I remember seeing this posr back when the OP wasn’t and they meant they were RELATED to a pope (yknow, the original meaning of kin)

[the-bakeneko]

What a twist

[andthenyourealizethat]

ok this is false i was mutuals with the guy and he was definitely kin as in fictionkin with a pope it was the pope from that show the young pope or wahtever. anyways i think the reason he deactivated was it turned out he was into necrophilia

[kevinokevinokevino-deactivated2]

this was like 12 slaps in the face

[shamelessdelusioncycle]

how i imagine this scene in the Bible actually went

Jesus appearing to the 12 in a locked room after the crucifixion: Peace be- stop screaming it’s just me- Peace be with you

[chemicalheart-deactivated202009]

I am on the floor

[isthismadness-deactivated202009]

WHY ARE AMERICANS LIKE THIS

[verycooltrash-deactivated201907]

[shamelessdelusioncycle]

how i imagine this scene in the Bible actually went

Jesus appearing to the 12 in a locked room after the crucifixion: Peace be- stop screaming it’s just me- Peace be with you

[sweetgcreature]

[presbyteriansideblog]

[xubbs]

I could be wrong but what’s interesting to me personally is that Elijah wasnt just mad, he was scared for his life cuz there was a queen who wanted him dead so Elijah ran and told God he wanted to die because he was in such anguish

But God is so good and He always knows what we need!

[archer-bro]

Notice too that he didn’t even give Elijah some encouraging words to comfort him.  He just told him to eat.  Sometimes just being there and making sure someone gets through their anguish is enough.

[supreme-leader-stoat]

AND THUS SPOKE THE CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE

“Why don’t you have a some food and maybe you’ll feel better.“

[xphilosoraptorx]

Elijah: *is freaking out and wanting to give up on life cause some psycho bitch queen is trying to kill him*

God:

[supreme-leader-stoat]

Thank you kind stranger this is the exact gif I was looking for.

[xtestament]

Keep in mind, that all this happened right after Elijah killed 300 prophets of Ba'al. Like he witnessed the power of God and then started freaking out when he found out Jezebel wanted to kill him… You know, the woman he confronted time and time again who couldn’t do crap to him in the first place no matter how hard she tried. This is also the same guy who ran faster than a chariot while going down the mountain. Still he is only human and one can’t fault him for finally freaking out.

[memeuschrist]

We've all been Elijah at some point, right?

[memeuschrist]

If you legitimately think Jesus of Nazareth had blue eyes GET OUT

Renderings of Jesus with blue eyes can still be beautiful, but the context in which the artists decided to portray him as such, and the actual context Jesus was born into MATTER.

[asongofhope]