hello there :)

I, miffin, hereby classify this blog to be very chaotic and have no order unless future me is somehow weirder in the future… or something, I don’t know— future 2026 me here: idk about changing up the chaos thing but i sure am weirder

[miffinismiffed]

It stands before a god, Ceaselessly peaceless, Continuously ingenuous,

The god asks, pointlessly, "Why don't you fear I? Your life is but finite. Your mortality is absolute— And if so desired, Imminent."

It, in guileless guile, Speaks without bile,

"What more is there to live for, Than the embrace of death? I strive to gain more, For I have nothing left. Death is the rarest of fortunes, If no man has lived death twice."

[miffinismiffed]

this is so funny seeing as it is something i wrote. and yet i have the complete opposite outlook on death rn.

[cometjuice]

i don't think the middle of a mythological battle of the intense kind is the appropriate scenario to have a gay panic

but hey, i'm not nico di angelo.

anyways i've been working on this for like two weeks PLEASE LIKE IT ;-;

[florthesilly-0]

might read percy jackson just for these guys

[miffinismiffed]

It stands before a god, Ceaselessly peaceless, Continuously ingenuous,

The god asks, pointlessly, "Why don't you fear I? Your life is but finite. Your mortality is absolute— And if so desired, Imminent."

It, in guileless guile, Speaks without bile,

"What more is there to live for, Than the embrace of death? I strive to gain more, For I have nothing left. Death is the rarest of fortunes, If no man has lived death twice."

[percabethconvos]

Percy and Annabeth whenever they're separated:

[miffinismiffed]

i've been dead for like the past 3 months but i got 2 new followers so idk how that happened. anyways i believe our existence serves to let god sin vicariously through us.

[the-untitled-artist]

a comic about meeting your younger self :)

Thank you for reading :)

[idkwhattonameitlol-deactivated2]

[that-weird-skeleton-bastard]

[hilarious-nefarious]

Source

[positively--speculative]

This is way better than straight up telling your kid “Santa isn’t real.”

[matt-the-radar-techncian]

I never thought about it this way, and it makes me really happy

[miffinismiffed]

things i heard (and said) on the bus today

student: *most disturbingly accurate imitation of a wet fart* student 2: no, we’ve gone over this—

-

student: sleigh bells ringling, ding dinga dingling…

-

student: *still representing the wet fart population* me: alright kid, it’s all fun and games until we start smelling something.

-

student: y’know, they put rizz in the dictionary. and i can see why, but like… how would you actually define rizz? how would you even…? me: charisma. student: … student: well… me: charisma. me: rizz literally comes from the word charisma. student: … student: … student: …well— student 2: yea, man what’d you think it meant mf student: shut the fuck up—

[miffinismiffed]

(male) student: nah i’m lesbian, so you’re gay. - student: [opens water bottle] other students: yo you got some water? lemme have some water can i have some wateURH? bro give me the watwr im so thirsy is that wateR? pleaseplaese please gimme water - student: aye stop touching meeheHEH HAHh hhegj … … ANSTAUPGH - student 1: [feral chihuahua noises] student 2: … student 2: [zombie rasping] - student 1: eat it! eat it! eati it! student 2: you eat it. student 1: … student 1: eat—eat it! student 2: eat it. student 1: … student 2: … student 2: ouGHHSAHAHAHA - student: wout da wout da wout da wout da wout da—

[knowing]

[miffinismiffed]

things i heard (and said) on the bus today

student: *most disturbingly accurate imitation of a wet fart* student 2: no, we’ve gone over this—

-

student: sleigh bells ringling, ding dinga dingling…

-

student: *still representing the wet fart population* me: alright kid, it’s all fun and games until we start smelling something.

-

student: y’know, they put rizz in the dictionary. and i can see why, but like… how would you actually define rizz? how would you even…? me: charisma. student: … student: well… me: charisma. me: rizz literally comes from the word charisma. student: … student: … student: …well— student 2: yea, man what’d you think it meant mf student: shut the fuck up—

[sea-anon]

I don’t know how many boys follow me, but I gotta bet there’s some. I just wanna tell y’all to be careful.

Abusive girls exist and what they’re doing is seen as like “badass tough don’t take no shit” but your girl should not hit you. Ever.

She should not demand for you to hand over your phone to look through.

She should not yell at you and humiliate you either alone or in front of people.

She shouldn’t make you distance yourself from your friends or family.

She shouldn’t scratch you or twist your arms.

She should not call you names.

She shouldn’t tell you ‘she’ll kill herself if you break up’

These are just a few examples of abuse and it’s just seen as okay when girls do it and god knows I’ve fallen victim to it a few times, but you shouldn’t have to.

Never worry about not being in a relationship. If they’re worth it, they won’t hurt you.

No one has the right to hurt you.

[nikola-like-tesla]

I wish someone had told me that these things are actually abuse. I would have been able to escape my ex so much sooner. Reblogging to help other people in similar situations

[movedtosideblog]

🚨PSA🚨

[ck-real]

My stepmom was extremely abusive to my dad, using these tactics

It was dismissed by others as her “being a strong and independent woman”

For the love of God don’t take this shit. Break it off immediately

[the-haiku-bot]

For the love of God

don’t take this shit. Break it off

immediately

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[etz-ashashiyot]

I work in the domestic violence field and guys? Lads? Bros? I have seen some really awful women out there.

I have seen cases where women beat the hell out of their boyfriend or husband and then called the cops on him for finally responding physically to stop her.

I have seen cases of women sexually abusing their boyfriends or husbands and insisting that he must have wanted it because he’s a man and his body physically responded.

I have seen cases of financial abuse where women leveraged traditional gender roles of men as providers and then drained accounts and disappeared.

I have seen a ridiculous amount of stalking behavior from women, harassment, and/or tracking and monitoring their male partners’ or exes every move.

I have seen cases of women using children as pawns and/or making false allegations to child protection agencies.

I have seen cases of especially white women enacting horrific racial abuse on their black, native, or latino male partners.

I have seen cases of women who are caretakers for their disabled male partners using that caretaker role to control, manipulate, and abuse them.

I have seen cases of mental, physical, emotional, and/or sexual abuse of mothers or other female caretakers to their sons/other boys under their guardianship or care.

I have seen cases of cis women outing stealth trans male partners to their communities, resulting in targeted transphobic violence from those communities and from the state.

I have seen cases of women intentionally getting their sober/recovered male partners back into drugs or alcohol as a way to control them and make them dependent on her again, and I’ve also seen cases of tiny! frail-seeming! women using drugs and then viciously physically attacking their much larger and theoretically stronger male partners or relatives to the point of putting them in the hospital.

I’ve seen cases of severe mental, emotional, and/or spiritual abuse of men by women go completely unaddressed for years because he wasn’t believed or it was downplayed to such an extreme that he didn’t seek help.

I’ve seen cases where women intentionally stopped taking birth control like they’d agreed upon as a couple in advance to force a permanent co-parenting relationship on their male partners.

And yeah! So many of these women showed up and tried to pretend that they were the real victim (against the great weight of the evidence) and/or that they were Strong Independent Girlbosses for doing this stuff.

This stuff happens to men, from women, all the time, and if it’s happened to you: 1) I’m sorry you had to go through that, and 2) the true promise of feminism is a world in which the victim’s gender does not determine whether or not they are believed or helped, and the abuser’s gender does not determine whether or not they are held accountable.

Anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong and very possibly malicious.

So guys if you are going through any of this with your girlfriend, wife, or female relative, you don’t have to take it. You deserve help and love and compassion and safety. You deserve to heal. And you’re not alone.

[kaijuno]

I used to be a grader and an occasional substitute prof for an introductory astronomy lab. That means that the majority of the people in this lab are only taking it because it’s a requirement and about half of them think it’s an astrology class.

I was grading midterms and this one girl. She was so nice and I think she was a business major. Fuck. The question on the midterm was to draw a diagram of the solar system and this poor girl. This fucking girl had drawn a Mars-centric solar system. As in every planet and the sun were orbiting Mars. I now actually have a custom Cards Againsy Humanity card I got at a con that says “A Mars-centric solar system”

I had a boy argue with me that there was liquid water on the moon (this was around when they had found liquid water on Mars in ~2015) and he wouldn’t believe me that he likely meant Mars and not the moon. After I marked his answer to the relevant lab question wrong, he took it to the department head who had promptly laughed him out of the office.

And there was another boy who, during a lab in our observatory where we would look at certain things in the sky, asked where the sun was. At 10pm in November. After some questioning it was revealed that he thought the moon and the sun were the same thing.

[shesaysdisco]

My friend, whom I love dearly, found out that the moon orbits the earth as a 20-year-old in an upper-level political science class, and was utterly and completely flabbergasted. When questioned, her defense was that she doesn’t have anything to do with the moon, so why would she have needed to know?

[toniins]

i was once talking to a friend of mine about how at that point in time you could see mars, jupiter, and venus at the same time, which was pretty cool, and she said “where’s pluto? wait, it was destroyed” and that’s how i found out that my friend, who is in her third year of a medical degree, thought that pluto stopped being a planet because it was eaten by a black hole.

[soaringsearingphoenix]

When i was in physics class my sophomore year of high school, the teacher drew a simplified diagram of a person standing on the planet earth as part of the explanation for how it was initially discovered that the earth was round. And one girl sitting in the class said “wait… we live on the OUTSIDE???” she had spent her whole life thinking that the earth was a hollow sphere and that we lived on the inner walls of it

[roach-works]

i had a coworker in his early twenties who, when i mentioned seeing admiring how bright mars was that morning on the drive to work, laughed and said ‘mars? like the planet?’ and i was like ‘yeah mars the planet. it looks like a very bright star, it was supposed to be extra bright and close lately.’ and he got quiet and oddly worried and he said, quietly, carefully, ’…are planets… real?’ like he was checking to see if i was completely insane.

i experienced a brief moment of crisis and said back ’yes. planets are real. did you…. think they weren’t real?’ and he looked even more disturbed and said, ‘no. they’re just made up for movies and shit, right?’ and i was totally horrified by this point and said ‘planets are real. the solar system has nine of them. the universe has billions of them. we make up fictional planets for movies but there are definitely real planets that actually exist.’

he said, like he sincerely thought i was fucking with him, ‘how do you know planets are real?’

i said, ‘i’ve seen them. i’ve seen saturn through a telescope. you can go outside right now and see mars and venus in the sky. i swear that planets are a real thing.’

he said, muttering now, ‘well, maybe that’s just what you think.’

the conversation did not get any better from there.

[hollowedskin]

Was at the planetarium once and overheard two middle aged women talking about the flat earth theory. One of them said that she thinks they have a point because “if the world was round you’d be able to cut off a lot of flight time going south [over Antarctica] to get to London [from Australia].”

She thought the arctic and Antarctic were the same place, that north and south on the flat map were connected the same way the eastern and western edges are.

[uncledrifter]

at work, I was showing this woman a lunar calendar (normal calendar that shows you what each day’s moon phase is for the year) and she asked me, “are these things, y'know, accurate?” she was fully convinced that the moon phases were mysterious, unpredictable occurrences and any attempts to track them were akin to horoscope predictions. I was so taken aback I could only respond, “yes… scientists are pretty confident about the moon’s orbit…”

[brightlotusmoon]

“It has nothing to do with me so I wasn’t interested” is a take I’ve heard from folks in their 50s about geography, but…

I mean, there was the lady who was genuinely convinced that sentient creatures lived on the moon and were communicating with Antarctica.

[prismatic-bell]

Absolutely insane.

[writing-prompt-s]

"So I know you sent me to kill the leader of the demons…but there have been some complications" The hero said, trying to hide the ring on their finger.

[tamaha]

Arthur shuffles nervously as he stands before his king and father in the throne room. He has just come back from a mission to defeat the last Druids camping in the Camelot Forests.

“Well, son?” Uther urges a report out of his son. Clearly, he must have been victorious as he and his army made it back unharmed. “Are our Enemies no more?”

Arthur coughs to steady his voice. “They are no more our Enemies.” He laughs a little but doesn’t dare to look his father in the eyes. In fact, none of the knights dare to look anywhere else than the floor.

“Out with it Arthur! What is that supposed to mean?!” The King was not known for his patience.

“Look, it seemed more practical to engage with the enemy than fight them.”

“Engage with them? How so?? They are our Enemies!!”

“We went to attack them, as you had ordered, but we got attacked ourselves first by a vicious beast we couldn’t kill.”

“You look pretty unharmed by that”

“The beast was defeated by a Druid coming to our aid.”

“Wasn’t it rather the Druids that had send the beast?

“No, we were invited to their camp and saw the damage the beast had done to them as well.”

“Why would they invite you to their camp? They are our enemies!”

Arthur shuffled again.

“The Druid that saved us said that we are no threat to them.”

“No threat?? My son and 40 of our strongest knights are no threat??”

“I did felt kind of helpless in his vicinity…”

Some knights in the back laughed at this.

“Arthur!”

“He offered to heal us, patch us up and send us on our way home if we agreed not to attack them! Without their help we would have lost half our men!”

“And then you just came back?!”

“Not directly.” Arthur admitted. Some knights behind him started to cough. Arthur now rather looked at the ceiling.

“Which means?!”

“I suggested that it would be more beneficial to have some sort of treaty to avoid such a situation again.”

“You made a deal with our enemy?”

“Technically, not our Enemy anymore…”

“Arthur!”

“Yes!”

“What kind of treaty??”

“No more bloodshed on either side. Binding with a hand in marriage from both sides.”

“Arthur, you are not marrying a Druid woman!!”

“…”

“Arthur!!!”

“I am already married…”

“ARTHUR!!!!!”

“… to a Druid man.”

[writing-prompt-s]

"So, what immortality do you have?" "What?" "Well everybody in this room has a type of immortality, I got hyper regeneration, the guy over the is a lich, the girl in leather can save and reload, and I am not bothered enough to keep talking so what is your immortality?"

[miffinismiffed]

several responses:

“I just can’t get hurt or sick. Or age, for that matter.”

“…I’m literally a deity—”

“…Science???”

“Some guy cursed me. Incorrectly.”

“Every time there’s a chance of me getting hurt, my atoms will literally rearrange to fit exactly so whatever that thing is passes straight through and I remain unharmed. This applies to weapons, bacteria, magic—all that sort of thing. Oh, I don’t know why I don’t age though—”

“Oh! Well—you see now… Um… I’m not quite sure.”

“Once upon a time, I made Death uncomfortable and he decided I could use another four thousand eons of life.”

“Life has a crush.”

“Last I checked, it had something to do with praying mantises, but that was 3 thousands years ago…”

“Counter question: What type of immortality do I not have?”

“Uhm, that’s the fun part… I don’t…?”

“I’m Death’s living bane. My mere existence contradicts its own.”

“Cupid stole Life’s bow and wanted to see what it did. I became immortal. Mind you, he got bludgeoned with said bow later on, but uh—”

“Bippity boppity boo, I have no fucking clue—”

“Sometimes, the gods can be very forgetful. My case isn’t one of those times, I just fucked one of ‘em—”

“Oh, I rewrote my programming.”

“Plot armor.”

idk tell me your favorites or some shit

[darkmodepls]

18. "Death likes me too much so Fate is keeping me away from zir so ze doesn't get distracted from zir duties"

19. "I exist simultaneously across all realities. 3 ½ quintilion dimensions over we're all dancing the Cha Cha"

20. "Have you ever seen Deadpool 2? Anything that tries to hurt me misses"

21. "I'm a figment of imagination. As long as someone, somewhere, is thinking of me, I exist. Yeah, I'm actually based on the concept of Ea-nasir"

[just-shower-thoughts]

Every single odd number has an “e” in it.

[savvygunner]

[violetnpurple]

LISTEN-

[bl6ckwoman]

Not all of them. 30 and 50 aren’t spelled with the letter e in it …

[antiandrogen]

[teamnowalls-deactivated20180918]

father god 

[abrown16]

…if you can split a number in half evenly, it’s even. 30 and 50 are odd.

[antiandrogen]

[ethereal-sketches]

-_-’

(15+15=30

25+25=30)

[britteryikes]

25+25 = 30? You sure about that??

[laurdlannister-kingslayer]

Lord have mercy….

[kumasenpai]

Bye

[mf-johnson-deactivated20190605]

3 days into 2018 smh

[kwantsu]

LMAOOOOOOO

[effigyofubiquity-deactivated202]

[lizzysarai-deactivated20190109]

One

Three

Five

Nine

And since everything else after that is a variant of these numbers, then all odds have the letter ‘E’.

[britteryikes]

🗣YOU FORGOT SEVEN!!

[thxrsdxy]

It keeps getting worse.

[e-wifey-deactivated20201128]

LMAOOO WHAT IS GOING ON

[ellsworthej]

[goldensweetcheeks-deactivated20]

My head hurts…

[skullprincess]

This is why that Tumblr University shit was the dumbest idea ever just look at this

[drankinwatahmelin]

who failed yall?

[microtear-deactivated20181213]

IM SCREAMING

[lukestarkillerisgay]

[hey-hey-shutthefuckup-deactivat]

You whole ass forgot about eight - a number with an e and is pretty fucking even

[shaolinbynature]

why would 8 be brought up if it’s EVEN in a post about ODDS??????? the post said “every single ODD number has an ‘e’ in it” not “every single number with an ‘e’ is odd” what the fuck

[emma-d-klutz]

3 days until 2019 and we’re still here

[legowerewolf]

happy New year’s eve

[prguitarman]

I’m going to bring this flaming dumpster into 2019 so future generations can see what a mistake Tumblr was

[majitowfoxlover]

Er, guys two is odd and doesn’t have an e. Just saying…

[hurleyquinnzel]

did you deadass just try to tell me two is odd? i’m fucking crying throw the whole website away

[untitled42717]

Reblogging for the last one😂

[kitsumekat]

The one thing I notice is that no matter how much you want to throw this site away, you just can’t.

[alternative-memo-deactivated202]

TWO IS ODD?!?! PFFFTT I’M SCREAMING

[binkeljuice]

Wait what about zero that’s an odd number ,no?

[hurleyquinnzel]

[mysticalpoodle]

ok but hear me out fifty and thirty make up for the fact they have no e by the way they are pronounces third-E fifth-E

[im-an-aesthetic-mess]

bro why do 30 and 50 matter THEY’RE FUCKING EVEN

[fish-food-s]

what the actual fuck is happening

[dickplinko]

1 is an even number

[link-the-feral-anon]

I’m gonna smack you

[insert-gay-pun-queer]

-30 and -50 have an e in them

[kurlyfryz]

Wait why are we so quick to throw away the Zero idea

[anachronistic-cat]

Zero isn’t a number

[kurlyfryz]

It can’t be divided by two though, can it

[toaster-120]

It can??? 0/2=0??

[kurlyfryz]

[baconaxolotl101]

OD NUMBERS

onE

thrEE

fivE

sEvEn

ninE

[batsdotjpg]

OD numbers huh?

[the-kleptomancer]

Anything that ends with a 0,2,4,6,8 is even and the rest is odd (1,3,7,9) stop freaking out y’all

[batsdotjpg]

YOU FORGOT 5

[ozzypawsbone-princeofbarkness]

DUDE WHAT ABOUT FOUR

[batsdotjpg]

What about it?????

[ozzypawsbone-princeofbarkness]

THAT DOESN’T HAVE E IN IT

[batsdotjpg]

THAT’S BECAUSE IT’S EVEN?????

[frogseyy]

A R E Y O U G U Y S O K A Y

[getinthehandbasket]

21 days away from 2020, folks.

[m-pennanti]

Please tell me I can start the new freaking decade with a post arguing about something as stupid as this. Please. 🙏

[nerdy-as-heck]

This is art at its finest

[amingethia]

Funner fact. No even number has an A in it

[river-not-a-stream]

the number four should have an a

You agree

[origami-butterfly]

That’s not even right, one thousand is even and has an a in it.

[the-haiku-bot]

That’s not even right,

one thousand is even and

has an a in it.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[muovipalikka]

This is why tumblr is the best!

[miffinismiffed]

this feels like a fever dream

[writing-prompt-s]

Just because one of your chicken eggs hatched a fire breathing dragon people think you’re evil. But you’re still just a regular farmer trying to make a living while dealing with an overprotective dragon, heroes that want to kill you and fanatics who want to worship you as the new Demon Lord.

[dycefic]

The thing you need to know about all of this, the thing that got me into all this trouble in the first place, is that chickens will sit on anything when they get broody enough. Anything. Duck eggs, goose eggs, turkey eggs, lizard eggs, egg shaped rocks, anything. Chickens aren’t smart. If it looks vaguely like an egg, they’ll plant their feathery arses on it and wait.

I noticed that there was a bigger egg under one of the broody chickens, when I checked. Of course I noticed, it was twice the size of the others. But I have geese. I figured it was a goose egg she’d found and stolen. It was about the right size, and I didn’t take it out to check the colour because that particular chicken gets very protective of her eggs. I’ve already got a scar on one hand from trying to get eggs away from her. I didn’t want a matched set.

That was a decision I regretted the moment I went out to feed the chickens and found a little blue-and-silver dragonet’s head poking out from under a very confused-looking chicken. The poor thing kept shifting around and looking under herself in a bewildered way, like she didn’t know what to do next. This particular chicken is a good mother, and she’s raised clutches of ducks and geese without any trouble – she’s even resigned to some of her children swimming – but this was too much. She didn’t object when I carefully reached in and fished out the little dragon.

It was so tiny, then. It fitted in my hand, with its little head peeking out one side and its tail looping around my wrist. Cute, too, with its big eyes and little snout turned up towards me.

That was when I made my second mistake. I decided to feed it before releasing it. Dragons are innately wild creatures, everyone knows that. They can’t be tamed. People have tried. The eggs are abandoned as soon as they are laid, and the dragonets hatch able to hunt, so they don’t even bond with their mothers. So just feeding it a little shouldn’t have been a big deal. It should have gobbled the meat and fled as soon as I loosened my grip on it and it saw the open sky.

It didn’t. As soon as I’d fed it, it fluttered up to a sunny window ledge and went to sleep. I went about my work, figuring that it’d leave in its own time.

By noon, it was sitting on my boot, squeaking pathetically. I wondered if maybe it was confused by the farmyard – they usually hatch in mountains, if the stories are right – so I took it back to the farmhouse with me and fed it again when I ate, then took some time away from the fences I should have been mending to walk it up to the hills. I found it some nice rocks, with plenty of lizards and beetles and suitable prey for something that size. It pounced on a beetle almost as soon as I put it down, and when I left it was crunching happily.

I hadn’t walked a quarter of the way back before something hit the back of my boot. The little dragon was holding on with all four claws, and when I looked down it squeaked pathetically. If possible, its eyes got even rounder.

Listen, you don’t make it as a farmer if you just let orphaned baby animals die. We hand-raise calves and lambs and ponies, set chickens to sit on abandoned eggs, or put them under the kitchen stove or by a fireplace. You don’t make a success of farming if you don’t value every animal. A good shepherd will spend all night looking for one lost sheep. So despite what was said later, it wasn’t just sentiment that made me sigh and pick up the little thing and carry it back to the farm.  I am a good farmer. I don’t let orphaned babies die just because they’re a little work.

Keep reading

[miffinismiffed]

redesigned princess celestia

if anyone’s interested

i imagine her more battle-oriented than pictured in the series (especially for my au), considering equestria’s got enemies and potential enemies like everywhere lol

also firey hair yay :3

other versions under the cut

minus bg

minus accessories (yes, the i got lazy where you can’t see it lol)

reverse hue (some parts inverted)

purple hue

[miffinismiffed]

twilight sparkle redesign

decided this’ll just be a long post of my redesigns, lol

here’s twilight’s redesign.

her new name is dawn seer!

also yes, her horn is transparent and looks like lattice, and yes her cutiemark depicts that trait. perhaps i’ll explain it sometime in the near future, and perhaps i won’t.

other versions under the cut! + original redesign

minus bg

minus accessories (whoo less awkward shading lol)(also the coloring gives me LIGHT i love her design sm hrgrhh)

inverse hue

original redesign that i found unlabelled beside the ones i did name and file!! yay…