Mika Feiler 🏳️‍⚧️👩‍💻🇵🇱

almost 23😢 trans girl from 🇵🇱 ¦— grayro(idem-/ nebula-), alterous ¦— demipan, polyam ¦— neurodivergent ¦— Poznań (/Toruń once a month or less) ¦— NEET programmer (♥FP), user of NixOS, HaikuOS, PalmOS; suffering from burnout

[fullmetalfisting]

God can you imagine if Donald Trump became president? There’d be like a new bubonic plague and he’d be like “idk drink bleach about it”

[fullmetalfisting]

Throwback to when I took acid for the first time in 2013 and predicted the events of 2020 like the fucking oracle of Delphi

[e-the-village-cryptid]

they edited it, this is the original post: 

[ID: How can dog breeders sell puppies for over $1,000? Do these puppies shit gold? Do these puppies fight crime? Can they play the banjo? No they’re fucking infant dogs that poop on your things and love you omg. /end ID]

link to a reblog of the original post, this reblog is from 2013

EDIT: OP blocked me for calling them out in this reblog, I can’t reblog or reply to this anymore and my reblog won’t show up in the notes, but if you reblog this from me then your reblog will show up in the notes. I thought maybe they were just trying to be funny and didn’t care if people knew they were lying but they’re like.. legitimately trying to convince people it’s true lol. Sketchy tumblr behavior, especially since they’re promoting their Kofi on their page meaning they are trying to get actual money for lying

[wuggen]

Interesting to me that lmao is thriving but rofl is critically endangered, perhaps even extinct in the wild

[trashboat]

how this movie even possibly got made was beyond nuts

[dankmemeuniversity]

[magescythe]

list of mundane things that feel like ancient human rituals

cleaning or wipe your bare feet

breaking off a piece of bread and handing it to someone

putting the weight of a basket on your hip or head

eating nuts or berries while hunched over close to the ground

seeing something startling just out of your line of sight and very quickly stepping or leaping on to a larger object to get a better view

cupping your hands into running water to wash your face

the unanimous protection of a baby or child in a public space where women are present

when an elderly woman laughs and grips your forearm tightly

[icarus-suraki]

May I add?

Touching someone’s face with the back of your hand to see if they have a fever

Stopping to watch animals moving in groups (geese, fish, horses, butterflies, bees)

Helping an elderly person to walk or sit

[xactodreams]

telling stories around a fire

huddling together for warmth when it’s cold

marveling at sunlight through leaves

wonderment at the brightness of a full moon

bringing food to sick or grieving families

[mirthandir]

[teamjacobthot]

[teamjacobthot]

@t-e-reynolds ok so boom

smeyer wakes up from a vivid dream on june 2, 2003

smeyer’s dream inspires her to write twilight

twilight gets published (2005) and the books and movies become a global phenomenon

e.l. james writes a bdsm twilight fanfic titled master of the universe

master of the universe is later published as fifty shades of grey (2011)

the fifty shades book series becomes wildly popular

fifty shades of grey gets adapted into a movie (2015), in which dakota johnson is cast as protagonist anastasia steele in her breakthrough role

the fifty shades movie series also becomes wildly popular and dakota johnson’s acting career takes off

dakota goes on ellen degeneres’s talk show, where ellen tries to play dakota for a fool and dakota shuts that shit down

people start noticing that ellen has a tendency to make her celeb guests feel very uncomfortable and is terrible to her employees

ellen makes the decision to end her talk show in 2022 after 19 years

[rightdowntherabbithole]

no because i think we're forgetting some important history

[desinteresse]

Starting to think I greatly overestimated the size of my jar

[purplespaceace]

me: the only good romance tropes are the ones where they’re friends first

me, demiromantic: wait

[straightboyfriend]

there is no medical component to a trans kid transitioning

if a little trans boy comes out to his parents & is like 4 all youd do for his transition is cut his hair, buy a new wardrobe, & switch pronouns & possibly change names

no one is gonna put a little 4 year old on testosterone OR puberty blockers until theyre actually about to start puberty & then they give them a few years to really decide if they want to start hormones

a trans kid existing isnt “child abuse.” child abuse is refusing to let your kid live their lives as they truly are & forcing them to present as a gender they arent

[straightboyfriend]

radfems who interact with this post will be blocked & your argument will not be read or even considered. i do not care about the opinion of a transphobe & my original post still stands.

[gwenfrankenstien]

a few years ago a kid in my preschool class transitioned socially and the only consequence was that as soon as her best friend discovered that changing your name is allowed she wanted to change hers to Detective

[thatgirlwhokeepsreading]

So stay with me here, but fun ballet fact: part of the reason you’re supposed to start ballet young is so you stretch and hold your joint in certain ways regularly enough that your body grows different. You know how men who do ballet look only sort of muscular but then like lift a whole ass person? Their muscles are trained to lie flat like that for flexibility, they don’t bulk up. Girl in your class who always stands in turnout? It’s likely not just habit, her joints probably sit like that now.

I started ballet when I was six and stopped after three years. I then took a break for three years, and came back and did jazz ballet (which has most of the same body mods but without turnout) and tap for another couple of years. And every physio who works on my body looks at my feet, hips and calves and goes “oh you danced”. I was never even flexible enough to do the splits, but you best believe I stand in turnout. I never went en pointe, but I’m 95% sure tap is the reason my feet have random spasms if I don’t take to them with a tennis ball once a week.

When I said I wanted to be a dancer at six years old, adults took that to mean I’d want certain permanent alterations to my body. Unlike with young trans kids, no one was looking to make sure I fully understood what I was getting into. And unlike with young trans kids, these changes were not reversible when I changed my mind. There wasn’t even a way to delay things to buy time (like puberty blockers), it was all or nothing. If I wanted to be a professional dancer, my normal ass joints were a ticking timebomb.

So like ~cis opinion~, but I really don’t have a lot of time for people getting feral about trans kids socially transitioning or going on blockers or even (when they’re old enough for it be relevant) hrt. Me “identifying” as a dancer at six years old was more physically impactful and less informed than if a six year old changed their name and grew their hair, but you don’t see any of the adults in my life getting accused of child abuse.

[terminal-burrowing-deactivated2]

Waiting patiently for the day I can fill out the rest of my “what horse medicine do you take” political compass

[filmnoirsbian]

Something needs to be done about teachers who hate kids tbh

[filmnoirsbian]

My sister is currently getting her doctorate in child psychology & education, but years ago she worked as a substitute english teacher at a high school in nyc. She spent half a year subbing for a woman who was out for surgery, and had been teaching english there for years and years. Most of the kids in this class were remedial; they had failed english before and had to retake it. Most of them hated the class, and they hated literature, because they had been made to feel unintelligent. My sister decided to introduce them to poetry, which was a little easier to digest than long form prose, and had them read Robert Frost's "Fire and Ice." And the kids loved it! They connected with it, they were spirited and engaged in class for the first time all year. They wrote their own poetry! They started seeking out and reading poetry on their own! They were all on track to get a C, B or A in that class. And then the original teacher returned and failed every single student, to "teach them all a lesson". That was the moment my sister decided to go into administration so she could hopefully prevent that sort of thing from happening. But it's difficult. Despite numerous complaints from parents and other teachers, that teacher had a job there for decades. She continued to have a job there. There are a lot of teachers like her, wielding power and taking their frustrations out on kids, especially disabled and remedial kids. And students have so few advocates in the classroom.

[195195119511951-deactivated2021]

In the first poetry workshop I ever took my professor said we could write about anything we wanted except for two things: our grandparents and our dogs. She said she had never read a good poem about a dog. I could only remember ever reading one poem about a dog before that point—a poem by Pablo Neruda, from which I only remembered the lines “We walked together on the shores of the sea/ In the lonely winter of Isla Negra.” Four years later I wrote a poem about how when I was a little girl I secretly baptized my dog in the bathtub because I was afraid she wouldn’t get into heaven. “Is this a good poem?” I wondered. The second poetry workshop, our professor made us put a bird in each one of our poems. I thought this was unbelievably stupid. This professor also hated when we wrote about hearts, she said no poet had ever written a good poem in which they mentioned a heart. I started collecting poems about hearts, first to spite her, but then because it became a habit I couldn’t break. The workshop after that, our professor would tell us the same story over and over about how his son had died during a blizzard. He would cry in front of us. He never told us we couldn’t write about anything, but I wrote a lot of poems about snow. At the end of the year he called me into his office and said, “looking at you, one wouldn’t think you’d be a very good writer” and I could feel all the pity inside of me curdling like milk. The fourth poetry workshop I ever took my professor made it clear that poets should not try to engage with popular culture. I noticed that the only poets he assigned were men. I wrote a poem about that scene in Grease 2 where a boy takes his girlfriend to a fallout shelter and tries to get her to have sex with him by tricking her into believing that nuclear war had begun. It was the first poem I ever published. The fifth poetry workshop I ever took our professor railed against the word blood. She thought that no poem should ever have the word “blood” in it, they were bloody enough already. She returned a draft of my poem with the word blood crossed out so hard the paper had torn. When I started teaching poetry workshops I promised myself I would never give my students any rules about what could or couldn’t be in their poems. They all wrote about basketball. I used to tally these poems when I’d go through the stack I had collected at the end of each class. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 poems about basketball. This was Indiana. Eventually I couldn’t take it anymore. I told the class, “for the next assignment no one can write about basketball, please for the love of god choose another topic. Challenge yourselves.” Next time I collected their poems there was one student who had turned in another poem about basketball. I don’t know if he had been absent on the day I told them to choose another topic or if he had just done it to spite me. It’s the only student poem I can still really remember. At the time I wrote down the last lines of that poem in a notebook. “He threw the basketball and it came towards me like the sun”

[aeschylus-stan-account]

Listening to Leonard Cohen as a gay Jew is like having your nose broken by a falling bolt of costly velvet

[depsidase]

[oldbaton]

You know. I spend a lot of time thinking about how 9/11 was utilized to perpetrate incredibly toxic patriotism. And I think a lot about the performance of grief a lot. And how that performance of grief has been used to cause so many atrocities. So I grew up in Texas. I was in second grade when the attacks happened. And on that day the fear was real. Anyone in this country knows that there was something in the air the fear was so palpable. No one knew what was going to happen next and I vividly remember the adults barely attempting to perform for us that things were ok. And I remember on the first anniversary of the attack it was very solemn but was a genuine gathering of people remembering the first time our country was attacked since Pearl Harbor (I would like to point out how lucky we are to say that). And marking the collective experience. Like sure. That makes sense to me. I felt it too on that anniversary even despite the fact I was so young.

But then.

Came the second and third and fourth anniversaries. My school, as far away from NYC as you could imagine, began throwing themselves so deeply into the 9/11 remembrance that it felt more ritualistic than authentic. Keep in mind I was so young that I wasn't fully connecting the dots to the war on terror quite yet. I knew that 9/11 was a catalyst but it hadn't occurred to me how it was politically maneuvered. All I knew was that these... ceremonies at my school were weirding me out. One year we all held hands in a circle around the playground and said a prayer. As I grew older and connected the dots these rituals became weirder and weirder and 9/11 just became a brazen display of false grief to me. No one in my town knew anyone who died in those attacks. While the feeling of terror that day felt real and was a collective experience, and there's no denying there is a trauma there, the way it got marked felt so beyond what had actually happened to my fellow Texans.

Then, I moved to NYC. I went to this staged reading series in a bar downtown. I was the sole person in the room not from the city natively speaking. The audience was full of parents and most of the people performing were in college, some high school. One of the staged readings dealt with 9/11. The room got hushed as soon as the room realized what the reading was going to be about. People were reaching for hands. A woman started crying. The collective pain of the room was so real. My friend, who lived mere blocks from the World Trade Center when the attacks happened, needed support.

And that's when I felt it. Actual grief about the attacks. Everyone in this room suffered. They lost someone. They had their air cloaked in smog. They couldn't feel comfortable in their home because a historic terrorist attack happened mere blocks from them. This pain was REAL and PALPABLE. And being in the room with them was overwhelming in the sense that I felt I had stumbled into a very intimate moment I wasn't supposed to be in the room for. And watching them console each other in their grief really made me realize just the sheer amount of PERFORMATIVE grief we see about 9/11. Because now I had seen the real thing. There is so much actual trauma from the attacks. And so many people think they have this pain that they just don't. And that fucked up thinking has caused an entire war that we are seeing the effects of right this second. I hate these wars. I hate seeing a tragedy weaponized. I hate this.

My thoughts go out to the victims of 9/11 and the thousands more who fell victim to its political maneuvering

[wymanthewalrus]

God I am sick and tired of people uwu-washing indigenous American history.

Did the Inca have exquisite building techniques, efficient messengers, and quality waterworks? Yes. They were also an expansionist empire built on violent conquest and the splitting up and relocating of conquered peoples.

Did the Aztecs have a gorgeous capital city built at the heart of a lake, with floating farms and towering temples honoring their fascinating pantheon? Yes. Guess what tho. They were also a violent expansionist empire who practiced ritual sacrifice of prisoners of war.

The Iroquois confederacy had one of the most unique representative political systems I’ve ever heard of, with women taking a forefront in most local government matters too. But their internal peace allowed them to redirect violence to their neighbors, as so often happens with tribal confederations, and they eventually violently conquered the Ohio valley and destroyed or displaced dozens of other indigenous groups.

Even my beloved Cahokia has the graves of sacrifice victims amidst its ruins.

A society should not need to be (and fundamentally cannot be) squeaky clean unproblematically stannable in order to be worth studying and remembering, and pretending that they were is no less disinformative than the European accounts painting them as godless savages.

[wymanthewalrus]

As an add on to this, I’m also sick of people making blanket statements about indigenous peoples “living in harmony with the land” and other weirdly Noble Savage eco-fetish stuff.

Industrialized capitalist societies are absolutely destructive to the natural world, but, again, pretending that all indigenous peoples are somehow eco heroes beyond reproach is pointless at best and disingenuous at worst.

Hundreds of thousands of years of our species’ history is defined by humans moving into regions we are not native to and drastically shifting the ecosystem balance. Indigenous Australians, whose incredible oral histories are accurate back tens of thousands of years, utterly devastated the continent when they arrived, causing mass extinctions of most of the local megafauna (and the destruction of significant areas of grassland iirc) - some of which we know about in part thanks to those accurate oral histories.

Now what I’m NOT saying here is that modern indigenous groups should be ashamed for the actions of our universal human ancestors fifty thousand years ago. I’m using this as an example to illustrate a point.

Another example is the Iroquois I mentioned earlier. Some experts have theorized that their embracing of maize as a staple crop led to the foundation of their confederacy in the 1400s. They did not exist in stasis, no human society ever has.

Indigenous people did not exist in harmonious states of perpetual oneness with nature, unchanging both themselves and the world around them. To imply they did does a disservice both to their rich histories of progress and discovery and to the natural histories of the lands they live in.

[wymanthewalrus]

Update: I remembered wrong, controlled burns by the first Aborigine peoples of Australia helped (and still helps in some cases) maintain grasslands they found useful, it didn’t destroy them wholesale. All of the other info in this post is pretty surface level, but if anyone wants further reading/watching here’s some links to follow:

Keep reading

[max1461]

hey guys, this post does the thing correctly. this is the thing i am talking about.

[aeschylus-stan-account]

I just keep thinking, like…I have so much trouble feeling connected with people, and the people I do feel connected with (to the point of wanting to date them aren’t available). It’s a bind I don’t know the way out of. I wish I were able to just do whatever, date very casually, meet a lot of people, but every new person is another round of small talk to make, another draw on my already limited social energy. And I’ve gloated and felt superior to other people who I see being in love because…of nothing. Because I need to feel that way. Because if there’s no difference between them and me, I’m just failing and I can’t see how to do things right. And worst of all, I imagine my need and my loneliness are perceptible—they come off me like stench off a corpse, warning people away. No one wants desperation. I don’t know what to do. I’m tired and I’m lonely and everyone around me is in love and I’ve just turned 27 and I’ve screwed it all up.