[Insert Title Here]

Just vibing on my own

[mothermishy]

You guys just have to trust me on this one and click here okay?

[abracazabka]

[feralrookie]

OH MY GOD I NEEDED THIS

[prismatic-bell]

For the chronically anxious and/or otherwise mentally ill:

This is not a screamer, jumpscare, or any other kind of horror link I don’t know the name of. It will not cause you to question reality and as far as I’m aware, there is no reason it should cause any kind of hallucinations or psychosis. I don’t want to spoil the surprise because it’s DELIGHTFUL but I am happy to tell you it’s very sweet and gentle and also great lowkey stress relief. This is a cinnamon roll link appropriate for all ages (yes, all the way down to babies) and you will enjoy it if you click it. ❤️

[teaboot]

This makes me so happy

[prokopetz]

I think the funniest thing Kill Six Billion Demons could possibly do is if the mega-update next Friday is just, like, the end of the comic. The whole thing somehow wrapped up in eight pages.

[prokopetz]

This is, of course, not what happened, but you have to admit that "go on a multi-week hiatus to let the next update cook and watch people get super hyped up theorising about potential major plot developments, and then it's literally just eight pages of setup for a dude firing a gun" is also kind of funny.

[horrificgoth]

(crawls on all fours with blood drenched on me) I have to do arts and crafts

[whetstonefires]

One of my favorite things is modern adaptations that leave people with the same careers they had in the original material, because unless you’re a cop or a doctor that practically never happens.

Irene Adler’s an opera singer. We still have those! They don’t have the same subtext exactly, but nothing is going to because we aren’t the Victorians. She could continue to be an opera singer. I have never seen this happen.

Jonathan Harker can still be in real estate. That’s a job people have. A modern story that still involves Dracula contacting his firm to help him purchase property sounds amazing actually.

[nudityandnerdery]

A modern adaptation of Dracula where you keep seeing Jonathan Harker’s face on bus stop bench ads for his realtor office.

[daddygrandpaandthebeaver]

#“This client doesn’t seem to exist online; a bit strange. But he’s elderly so it’s not that unusual” -Jonathan about to make a mistake – @capslockdoesntexpressmyjoy

[prokopetz]

I was about to joke about Quincey Morris still being a cowboy, but then it occurred to me that he’s not actually a cowboy in the source material, is he? He’s the wealthy heir of a Texas ranch-owning family who just acts like an Old West cowboy. If anything, that’s even more plausible today than it was in 1897.

[roach-works]

let’s see dracula shrug off getting hit with one of these country cosplay motherfuckers

[whetstonefires]

#What about Van Helsing though #Is he a professor of vampire studies in a cultural studies program somewhere and he just doesn’t tell people he knows they really exist

van helsing is a medical doctor who teaches at a medical school, where he met Seward. probably not involved directly in research himself, but keeping very up-to-date with all the journals and new developments and exchanging emails with former students who are.

the vampire thing is not his job, except inasmuch ‘getting vampired’ counts as a medical issue.

which is not very interesting as these things go, because doctors like I said in the original post are usually allowed to stay doctors. although van helsing is an exception to that rule, huh? no one adapts anything about him faithfully. his name is van helsing and i’m not sure i’ve ever seen him even adapted as Dutch.

[depsidase]

[ahallister]

I can actually think of an alternative explanation: small print press. He’d put out orders for various rare books with the traveling merchants who’d come through town, and every so often they’d turn up with one and he’d set about printing a hundred copies or so, then sell the fresh new copies to merchants heading towards various university towns like Avignon, Grenoble, Toulouse, etc. He’d likely keep a couple copies of each book for himself, generating a library, and might wind up with all sorts of books he couldn’t profitably make copies of to sell to the universities, like fairy tales.

If that’s his business model, then Belle might be the closest thing he’d have to an apprentice, since we can see he’s getting on in age and might have nobody else to even consider passing the business along to when he slips the mortal coil. As one final thought, her dad is an inventor, and might be the bookseller’s only actual local customer, which might also explain the relationship. Her dad would occasionally want certain types of books on natural philosophy, and the bookseller would be the one with contacts who could procure them. Just look how dangerous it was for him to go traveling all alone! Far better to leave that sort of business to professional traveling merchants.

[galwednesday]

If you combine these ideas, then you wind up with a bookseller who was training Belle as an apprentice for both small press publishing and money laundering, only to watch his very promising student be swept away by some rich guy the whole town was trying to kill twenty minutes ago. He admires her hustle, but it leaves a gaping hole in his succession plan.

Fortunately there are two newcomers in town, one with an eye for mechanics and meticulous attention to detail and one with a love of risks and charm to spare, and that's how the neurotic clock and slutty candlestick take over the legitimate and criminal wings of his enterprise respectively.

[dampfnudeldove]

shot in the HEAD. and you're to blame. You are not good. At dart game

[tlirsgender]

Does anybody know if you ever stop being 11 years old and lonely

[tlirsgender]

Like you can stop being 11 years old & you can stop being lonely but it seems being a lonely 11 year old might be a lifelong affliction

[madgastronomer]

You can befriend your inner 11 year old so they're not lonely anymore.

And I mean. Act like the friend your 11 year old self wanted, sometimes. Have a playdate with them. Play the games you wanted to play -- both sides, if you need to. Eat the food your 11 year old self wanted as a treat. Go to the zoo. Whatever.

Be that person.

[pipshinwhatever]

trucy and apollo arriving at a crime scene

[earthdeep]

you know how sometimes a thing just sticks in your head and

[pipshinwhatever]

i've never felt more understood before

[sabertoothwalrus]

stumbled upon this subreddit. the kid’s t-shirt is just the icing on the cake

[soloh]

I hate when I say things like "oh I want an ipod classic but with bluetooth so I can use wireless headphones" and some peanut comes in and replies with "so a smartphone with spotify?" No. I want a 160GB+ rectangular monstrosity where I can download every version of every song I want to it and it does nothing except play music and I don't need a data connection and don't have to pay a subscription to not have ads and don't have popups suggesting terrible AI playlists all over the menus.

Gimme the clicky wheel and song titles like "My Chemical Romance- The Black Parade- Blood (Bonus Track)- secret track- album rip- high quality"

[foone]

Tangara is an open source iPod clone, which includes bluetooth:

Tangara

The music player you wish you had in the early 2000s

[piranya]

[ampervadasz]

[mortimermcmirestinks]

via @p0tato-kn1shes

[april-december]

@bunjywunjy’s tags pass peer review too

[teabree-shark]

[lovertm]

[backsack]

here comes the airplane

[wardenofthesixtyninth]

Absolutely adore how Marcille's entire spellbook seems to consist of only the most unhinged spells in existence. Like it seems like her entire magical arsenal is comprised of only the barest minimum of healing spells that she was probably required to learn in school, and then Fireball, Police Flash Grenade, Crime Against Nature, Spam Fireball, Unholy Resurrection, More Fireball, and 9th Level Go Fuck Yourself.

[arandomlychosennamebytumbler]

[arandomlychosennamebytumbler]

After reading @nature-nerd-sarah i just had to make this

[ladymissfit133]

The funny part is that marcille is specifically a healing magic student/specialist. All this unhinged shit? Crammed in the night before going dungeoneering for the first time.

[nature-nerd-sarah]

Her precise specialty was ancient magic, so she already knew Unholy Resurrection and Crime Against Nature. But she did probably go "I'm going into the dungeon tomorrow, better learn some offensive spells real quick. Appendix Burst and Spam Fireball are probably good ideas."

[moniquill]

[gingerhastoomanyobsessions]

The tiger

He is in a tube

yes

YES

The tiger can roam

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

It’s so nice of this zoo to add environmental enrichment for their human inhabitants, replicating the feeling of a big cat possibly being above your head.

[beemovieerotica]

english slang is awful i would hate to be learning this shit. like the word shit. something can be horseshit or bullshit which means it's a lie. but cow shit is just poop. and something can be dogshit which means it's really bad quality. but cat shit is just poop.

[beemovieerotica]

more notes: batshit means CRAAAZY. but rat shit is poop. if something is shit, it's bad, but if it's THE shit, it's good. eating shit is ew. but if someone just ate shit, they fell on the ground. no shit? = for real? yeah no shit = duh!!!

[summerofspock]