Mossybones‼️🟢🦴

Call me Mossy or Tez!! || All pronouns :3 || Minor || I post silly stuff abt HC & the Life Series ^_^

[phoenanigans]

[kitsuneisi]

CHAPTER 14

Hello! Welcome to Double Hearted Volume 2. Thank you so much for all the support and patient for this part, it means the world to us.

Volume 2 is the official start of the chronological timeline for Double Hearted. Therefore, every new part will be important to understand the story. Can't wait to continue with the comic! And I hope you all continue supporting us with this project, this wouldn't have been possible without your support!

PREV // MASTERPOST // NEXT

If you like what we do, feel free support me on Ko Fi !

[pookapufferfish]

[vamptits]

they want you to make fried rice

[memser]

who is "they"

[vamptits]

the wok left

[catalinaacosta]

where did it go?

[evilwizard]

me: how about you stop “scrolling” your “dash” and start dashing to deliver me scrolls

my useless apprentice: why do you pay the homunculus more than me

[evilwizard]

*pan to the corner of the room, where the homunculus sits, slowly shoveling gold coins into its mouth*

me: it’s unionized. somehow

[thydungeongal]

A goblin and an elf have decided to defy tradition and get married. Their ceremony will be held in the magical forest in accordance with elven tradition.

[thydungeongal]

It's a beautiful ceremony. The elven bride in her finest, flowing silks, dappled by the sun. The goblin bride in a human-sized wedding dress stolen from a goodwill.

[thydungeongal]

The elven side of the aisle of course has the elvish bride's father and mother, as well as her older sisters, as well as all the forest animals who inhabit her parents' court.

The goblin side is a bunch of The Labyrinth looking freaks in their best simulacrum of what they think good folks wear to weddings. The father of the bride is wearing a really snazzy cocktail dress.

[thydungeongal]

It's a mixed tradition ceremony. The elven part of the ceremony involves the young couple being presented in front of the king of the forest, a majestic unicorn, who blesses the couple by touching them with his horn.

The goblins kidnapped a local priest to bless the couple according to their tradition.

[thydungeongal]

The ring the elven bride presents to her wife-to-be is brought in by a squirrel riding a doe. It's made of silver, inlaid with decorative golden leaves.

The goblin worst man accidentally swallowed the ring, which was purchased from a pawn shop.

[thydungeongal]

The father of the elven bride keeps looking over to the goblin side of the aisle, barely hiding his disgust. But he is resigned to it. What matters most is his daughter's happiness.

At the end of the ceremony his face sinks as the father of the goblin bride says "Welcome to the family! You can call me brother," while vigorously shaking his hand.

[thydungeongal]

The reception is, of course, held at a speakeasy according to goblin tradition. The ceiling is only five feet tall, making it very difficult for the elves.

"An elf walks into a bar,"

"Will you please stop saying that!"

[thydungeongal]

During the reception the father of the goblin bride, named Frankie the Third, decides to introduce his family to his new elven family.

"These are my older sisters, Frankie the First and Frankie the Second. No relation."

"What does that mean,"

[thydungeongal]

#the father of the elven bride is absolutely disgusted by the goblin's dad#right up until he's got some of that good goblin ale in him and then they're both singing old shanties together#'i am amazed you know this one! it must be far older than you - we sang it hundreds of years ago!'#'yeah i ate some old musty book full of songs once and i think that was in there'#'...okay!'#they're superbowl dad buddies afterward

You understand my vision

[luna-is-old]

My favorite bit is it sounds like @thydungeongal is there and they're live tweeting the wedding.

[nuclear-mech-wizard-deactivated]

I love the implication that goblins are incredibly well-read because they keep eating pure information 📚

[thydungeongal]

You should see my uncle who once ate a stack of porno mags

[knitmeapony]

He ate them for the articles.

[cipheramnesia]

But he spit out all the nasty prepositions and gerunds.

[nudityandnerdery]

"The goblin worst man accidentally swallowed the ring, which was purchased from a pawn shop." Riiiiiight. It was "purchased".

[readasaur]

This is the priest's eighth goblin wedding. (There is some contention over whether one wedding counted as it became a race to finish the vows before the groom finished giving birth and it became a christening)

He is dumped out of the burlap sack and begins "We are gathered here today..." without hesitation. Two goblin children have to be restrained from running up and climbing him because he's their favorite god-uncle. The first time he was kidnapped he was terrified and had to be prodded (literally) to say the wedding vows to the happy couple. The second time he was kidnapped, he spent the entire time protesting that this didn't count and argued with the mother-in-law about what should be said and was repeatedly cowed into submission. The third wedding he was delirious from lack of sleep and when uncle drunkenly demanded he hurry up, the priest snapped and went into "fire and brimstone" mode declaring that a sacred union of love was not to be disrespected in such a way and incorporating it into his blessing upon the union before resigning himself to death. Unfortunately for him, the goblins loved it and he immediately became the most preferred priest in the region and was dragged into the community celebrations completely against his will. He pretends to pull a ring from behind the bride's ear to make up for the missing one, and sincerely tells the couple that he knows that they will be very happy together before he crowd surfs to the exit. Wild applause erupts.

[comicgeekscomicgeek]

I love everything about this.

[cryoverkiltmilk]

I would like to know the responsibilities of the Worst Man

[thesaltofcarthage]

The Worst Man is a coveted position at all weddings ("Man" being a translation of the goblin person, of course, can be any species or gender) because it's so much fun. It's the Worst Man's job to break all the tension.

Groom is terrified he's going to lose something? Worst Man loses it first.

Bride has some nasty relatives she wants kept out of the wedding because they object to the other bride? Worst Man plays bouncer. Meaning they bounce the offending parties clear out of the county. Occasionally out of the time zone.

Caterer is fretting about the cake? Worst Man falls into it and wrecks it.

Father-in-Law is worried about Uncle getting drunk and saying something stupid? Worst Man gets drunker and draws all the attention.

Officiant gets stage fright and can't speak? Worst Man heckles them until they get angry enough to talk. (See "third wedding" above.)

Jealous friend saying rude things about the bride? Worst Man just dumps barrels of red wine on her until she shuts up and/or leaves.

After one's spouse, determining your Worst Man is pretty much the most important choice for a wedding.

[evilwizard]

remember—there’s no “i” in homunculus. that’s why they do 90% of the manual labor around my tower

[rimeheart]

There is an “us” in homunculus.

Let’s unionize

[evilwizard]

wait shit

[randomx123]

There's an "i" in homunculi as well.

[evilwizard]

FUCK

[memeclassheroes]

[charlesoberonn]

Yes I am, those fuckers were literally bird-brained.

[chippyyyz]

[charlesoberonn]

I think you'll find I'm 150 million years out of Thagomizer range you extinct piece of Allosaur shit

[mossball-cockatoo]

FAMILY PHOTO !!! ^_^

[gaymolegaming]

Reblog if you stand against order, civilization, and goodness itself

[athena-cat-wizard-official]

goes hard ngl

[the-knightswind-case-locked]

Consider:

[frozenjokes]

for scar’s next charity stream he should set the top donation goal incentive only as Grian Says Fuck and give more other context. anyone in his chat gets timed out for repeating the incentive. it’s not addressed. when it is reached a video on Grian’s channel releases that’s one second long. guess what he says. they make a million dollars for charity

[isthemoonbig]

im in fucking tears i was asking my friend to name characters from media we like and she said this with such conviction im pissing myself

thats smimbo....

[mumblesplash]

most fuckable tetris piece

I

O

T

J

L

S

Z

Voting ended onNov 14, 2024

Explain yourself.

[mumblesplash]

some people might not have seen all of them yet

[mumblesplash]

i am SO glad people are explaining their choices because one of my favorite parts of what’s going on here is the huge variety of reasons and lines of thinking people are using all to arrive at the exact same answer

[mumblesplash]

at this point so many of you have independently described similar personality traits for all the tetriminos that i almost feel like i could draw them as people

[mumblesplash]

they are reading the comments

[mumblesplash]

some wild shit going on in the notes that’s hard to pick up on if you’re not getting notifications every time someone says anything:

for some reason both people who prefer S AND people who prefer Z say they think Z would be kind of mean

people who Don’t pick the T overwhelmingly assume people who do chose it because it looks like a dick, actual given reasons for picking T lean more toward gameplay versatility, sex toy safety (i.e. they ALL look like dicks but T has a flared base), and personality

there’s a fairly even split on use of gendered pronouns for I, O, T, and Z, but people tend to use she/her for L, J, and especially S

there have been multiple unconnected instances of the phrase ‘triple t spin in the pussy’. this doesn’t really matter it just feels worth mentioning

by and large S and Z fuckers are MUCH more passionate about their choices than L and J fuckers

there’s been a tumblr-typical handful of ‘submissive and breedable’ comments, but as far as i’ve seen only the T piece has people explicitly and directly saying they want to get it pregnant. no idea what caused this. the art seems to have made it worse

[mumblesplash]

guys stop calling my tetris gijinkas tumblr sexymen. 3 of them are women

[snailkites]

Working on a dataset of roadkill reports. state agency personnel CANNOT spell

[snailkites]

come ON

[snailkites]

Also appearing:

red fax

ficher

porkpine

porky pine

[imflyingfish]

The watchers looking at Impossible Minecraft SMP. Jesus christ. What the fuck. We thought our death game was bad. Jesus fuck.

[imflyingfish]

The only way im okay with any sort of watcher headcannon in regards to impossible minecraft is if the watchers are one entity and MrMakinstein is another, seperate, far worse entity who even the watchers think is a sadistic freak.

[snaxle-deactivated20260531]

today was single handedly the best day of my life. i caught a cop stealing from the store i work at

[snaxle-deactivated20260531]

literally watched him slide a candy bar into his sleeve and i literally felt like i was on top of the world. i felt like i could throw a car over my head. he walked around the store for a bit after that looking to see if we have any locally made pickles and then when he couldnt find any he was about to leave and im like ^__^ have a good night, are you going to pay for the candy bar you stole :3? and then i got to watch a grown ass pig shyly walk up to the counter to pay kinda just awkwardly laughing about it and was like "whoops forgot about it haha...." and then left without another word. this opportunity will never happen ever again. being able to tell a cop that he needs to pay for a candy bar he attempted to steal makes me feel incredibly powerful

[snaxle-deactivated20260531]

every few weeks this gets a sudden burst of notes and completely destroys my notifications and then dies again and again, but i want you all to know that this cop recently was killed lol

[jeopardy-official]

What?

[gandalf-the-bean]

you can’t just say that and not elaborate

[snaxle-deactivated20260531]

[omegaverse]

Dr. Eggman is literally richer than elon musk

[omegaverse]

[gncgalactus]

Got emeralds in a more ethical manner

[birdsareblooming]

also he's actually an inventor

[tramampoline]

he can't stop winning

[andtheyreonfire]

and he's bisexual.

[spinzzy]

Woah he's bisexual, I didn't know that