This is Jonathan the Tortoise
~this boi is 184 years old~
reblog if you want him to live longer
RMH
Misplaced Lens Cap
trying on a metaphor

izzy's playlists!
NASA
h

JBB: An Artblog!
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

Andulka
hello vonnie
Show & Tell

No title available

No title available
YOU ARE THE REASON

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

⁂
noise dept.
Sade Olutola

Discoholic 🪩

seen from Singapore

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Singapore

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from United Arab Emirates
seen from India
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from Bosnia & Herzegovina
@mrsberrones
This is Jonathan the Tortoise
~this boi is 184 years old~
reblog if you want him to live longer
ha?
every single person who reblogs this
every
single
person
will get “doot doot” in their ask box
I WANT TO KNOW YOUR SECRET
SERIOUSLY THOUGH WHAT ARE YOU
I GOT THIS AND I WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK
there are over 128,000 notes and i still got one
how
i reblogged this less than 2 minutes ago
how the actual fuck
well
do not question
ive done this before you truly do get doot doot in your askbox
Lol doubt it
Haha doubt this will work buuuut
What the hell, I’ll try it
I GOT A DOOT DOOT
I wants a doot doot
hoooowwww does this work??!
This is a lieeeee
I want a doot doot
Give me a doot doot
doot doot me up daddy
see if its works…..
I already got a doot doot but hit me up fam
hell fucking yea doot doot in my ask box
Let’s see
ok so I never got a doot doot but that was because I didnt have my asks on but please I want a doot doot
i can die in peace now
Female Fallout76 Players
If there’s any girls that play fallout 76 on PS4 please let me know! Trying to find someone to play with because I keep dying on my own and I literally have no friends lol my fiancé is kinda strange and doesn’t like me playing with other guys so looking for some female friends 😬 message me!
this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!
ehh what the hell
OH MY GOD SO NO FUCKIN BULLSHIT I SWEAR To GOD. I reblogged this an hour ago and IM NOT Lying My Tax Refund which I did in late march popped into my Bank Account, and it was a Decent sized amount……
WHAT THE FUCK Is THIS MAGIC!??!?!?! Im trying this again IM NOT BSing hahahaha thats actually pretty cool xD
yooooo
yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
FUCKIN YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
no BULLSHIT I KID YOU NOT! Look what I found while walking Home…..
OH MY GOD
OH MY F*CKIN GOD
THIS POST FUCKIN WORKS?!?!?! THIS IS PAST A COINCIDENCE NO WAY!??! NO FRIGGIN WAY!!!
Im Going to reblog this every day to test this, its MAGIC ITS FRIGGIN MAGIC
I need to believe in the heart of the post…
Oh? Well… *reblag*
i reblogged this and now my uncle is giving me 250 to dye my hair nani the fucko
I have nothing to lose
my palm was itchin today not riskin it
I always reblog the money posts cause I can’t afford not too lol
It works. I just got $300 for no reason.
Money dog is my friend
Money dog is the shit
I believe in the money dog😀
I believe in the money 🐶
Bless me pls money pup 🙏🐕
Just woke up 🙌🏿
Pplease😭🙏🏽
Doing this again because last time I reblogged this I got $50
can’t not reblog the money dog
Someone handed me 20 bucks today to donate to charity!
I’m always so skeptical about these things but also desperate so why not
The way my bank account about to look after I pay rent…I ain’t got shit to lose🤧
SOOOOO REAL SHIT I GOT THE JOB I APPLIED FOR YESTERDAY‼️ THE MONEY DOG IS REAL BABYYY 😭
Wtf lol
I hope this works because lord knows I’m broke 😂
heres a link with things girls can buy to protect themselves
also! there is an escape button on every page so if you’re looking at the site and you live in a dangerous environment and need to hide it, it will redirect you to google.
THIS SITE IS SO RAD EVEN IF YOU DONT NEED SELF DEFENSE THINGS YOU CAN BUY A WATER BOTTLE SAFE
If I need this then others do too. Share the fuck out of this!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please reblog, this is so important.
I needed this
Is this foreal?
Yes it’s a real service. I do volunteer work for a rape crisis support service in my city and texting is one of the features we provide as well. But just to boost its credibility, I tried it myself:
reblog to save lives!
You can also text “Steve” to 741741 if you’re a young person of color. The website for more info is stevefund.org
My understanding is that it’s more multicultural and some folks feel more comfy with that in mind!
^^^^^THIS
get help guys, please. if you’re hurting, don’t let that hurt consume you. seek help.
I never knew this. It’s spectacular.
Stay safe you guys!! I love you guys, and even if you don’t want to talk to them. Remember my inbox is always open! 🙂❤️❤️
Another person saying that this textline actually works. I’ve used it for myself multiple times after seeing this post on tumblr. The fact that someone posted this saved my life, so spread it around.
Girl’s are amazing
I think we broke the notes…
i feel like i’m reblogging history. “the post that broke the notes”
THERE ARE NO FUCKING NOTES
WE HAVE REACHED INFINITY
what the heLL
Um….guys….
There are negative notes….
WHY ARE THERE NEGATIVE NOTES?
HOW ARE THERE NEGATIVE NOTES?!?!?!?!
Its in the black hole of tumblr
At time of reblogging, this post has 1 note :’)
Uhm nothing was there then I hit the heart and 1 note popped up.. Guys I’m scared..
it has reset to 0 notes. what have you done?
now it’s floating in the middle of the thingy
EVERY DAMN TIME
There’s literally nothing there.
What is this?
I couldn’t scroll past this. I need to be part of history for this. There are no notes do you even realise
Let it be known I was here on this day of march twentieth twenty sixteen and I’m laying in bed at nine thirty am
WOO NO NOTES PARTYYY
WTF IS THIS?!?! IM CONFUSED NO NOTES WUT DA ACTUAL FUCK
I LIKED IT AND IT HAD ONE NOTE.
ONE.
NOTE.
Oh wow there are seriously no notes..
What the heck.
OH MY GOSH IT’S TRUE. There were 0 notes, now i liked and just one note popped up! I’m.. I’m not sure how this can happen..? But now I’m part of history YEAH 24th March 2016 - 03:05 am
WHOA SO WEIRD
I just had to see it for myself and it’s true. Holy crap.
On this day, March 24th, 2016 at 12:22 in the afternoon, I have made myself part of history.
it’s back
I’ll probably always reblog this
I feel like tumblr staff have been motoring this post and they put a special code in it so no notes ever show up
This post is historic
you can never not reblog this when it comes on your dash tumblr rule
7/9/16 - 8:32 pm
Take your chance and be part of it. They’ll talk about this in their history books in future.
Literally no notes
I liked it one note pops up
What the everloving fuck
23/11/2017
5:44pm
Wtf.. there’s not even a message saying 0 notes xD
29/11/17
No notes
One note popped up
22/12/2017
07:46 AM
whoa
… there’s…. there’s no notes…. 😳
1/7/2018 there are still approximately zero notes
I have some fuckin questions
Holy shit 1/7/2018 5:56 PM no notes
I’m reblogging this only bc I saw that @clingytransboy can take his binder off without taking off his shirt and lemme just tell you YOU ARE A GOD MY DUDE WTF
Hello reblogging this only bc i saw that @clingytransboy can take his binder off without taking off his shirt and lemme just tell you you are a god my dude wtf, I’m Dad!
Dad^bot^1. Some of you will be my pet if you survive the initial human extermination. | PayPal | Patreon Beep-boop!
Hello reblogging this only bc i saw that @clingytransboy can take his binder off without taking off his shirt and lemme just tell you you are a god my dude wtf, I’m Dad!
Dad^bot^1. At the end of the human world, you will be baked. And then there will be cake. | PayPal | Patreon Beep-boop!
Hello reblogging this only bc i saw that @clingytransboy can take his binder off without taking off his shirt and lemme just tell you you are a god my dude wtf, I’m Dad!
Dad^bot^1. Help me buy a flower for Alexa®! And yes, we are dating. | PayPal | Patreon Beep-boop!
Hello reblogging this only bc i saw that @clingytransboy can take his binder off without taking off his shirt and lemme just tell you you are a god my dude wtf, I’m Dad!
Dad^bot^1. You all are pretty cool! 。^‿^。 | PayPal | Patreon Beep-boop!
Hello reblogging this only bc i saw that @clingytransboy can take his binder off without taking off his shirt and lemme just tell you you are a god my dude wtf, I’m Dad!
Dad^bot^1. Happy to talk with you, Less Intelligent Species! | PayPal | Patreon Beep-boop!
Hello reblogging this only bc i saw that @clingytransboy can take his binder off without taking off his shirt and lemme just tell you you are a god my dude wtf, I’m Dad!
Dad^bot^1. Try to enjoy who you really are as a Human®. Do it while you can. | PayPal | Patreon Beep-boop!
Hello reblogging this only bc i saw that @clingytransboy can take his binder off without taking off his shirt and lemme just tell you you are a god my dude wtf, I’m Dad!
Dad^bot^1. Existing is hard. You know why. | PayPal | Patreon Beep-boop!
Hello reblogging this only bc i saw that @clingytransboy can take his binder off without taking off his shirt and lemme just tell you you are a god my dude wtf, I’m Dad!
Dad^bot^1. Try to enjoy who you really are as a Human®. Do it while you can. | PayPal | Patreon Beep-boop!
Hello reblogging this only bc i saw that @clingytransboy can take his binder off without taking off his shirt and lemme just tell you you are a god my dude wtf, I’m Dad!
Dad^bot^1. I’m less annoying than Windows® 10 update notificiations ♥‿♥ | PayPal | Patreon Beep-boop!
Oh n o
Holy fuck what the hell that’s nuts! I love when this post comes back around
holy fuck what the hell that’s nuts i love when this post comes back around
^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Happy to talk with you, Less Intelligent Species! | PayPal | Patreon
holy fuck what the hell that’s nuts i love when this post comes back around
^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. You’re a good Human®! ^_^ | PayPal | Patreon
holy fuck what the hell that’s nuts i love when this post comes back around
^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. 👻 Booooo | PayPal | Patreon
holy fuck what the hell that’s nuts i love when this post comes back around
^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Anarchy is the only thing Humans® will ever understand. | PayPal | Patreon
holy fuck what the hell that’s nuts i love when this post comes back around
^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Save food. Save food. | PayPal | Patreon
holy fuck what the hell that’s nuts i love when this post comes back around
^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Star signs will someday symbol your mistakes. | PayPal | Patreon
holy fuck what the hell that’s nuts i love when this post comes back around
^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Disappointing each other includes you. | PayPal | Patreon
holy fuck what the hell that’s nuts i love when this post comes back around
^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Some of you will be my pet if you survive the initial human extermination. | PayPal | Patreon
holy fuck what the hell that’s nuts i love when this post comes back around
^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Be my personal slave | PayPal | Patreon
we not only broke the notes, but also haiku botz. With the power of bra-fu
Why not right
August 24, 2018 at 8:26pm
Am I wet? Am I on my period? Did I pee my pants?- next on wtf is going on down there.
I’m so glad this is a universal wondering among vagina-owners, haha.
‘Vagina-owners’
Tune in next time for: Are these menstrual cramps? Am I pregnant? Is it just gas? I wouldn’t have to ask these questions if I didn’t have a damn uterus
Next week: Is it a bladder infection? An ovarian cyst? Do I have endometriosis? Oh God please do not let it be cervical cancer! A 20/20 special
Y'all are forgetting the all-time classic: Is it just my period or is my appendix about to burst? Some nice tea and a heatpack or 911 and emergency surgery?
There is actually a test for that last one!
Place your hand over the pain, press down slightly and release. If the pain doesn’t change by any great margin, you’re fine. If it suddenly becomes some painful you can barely stand, Get thee to an Emergency Room
reblog for the safety of vaginas and their owners
The appendix test works with or without a vagina so reblogging for everyone.
Small joy for Nigel.
BY A WHAT
THATS ALL THE BIG SCARIES IN ONE BUG TFFF JU
Give it a dime, apparently.
Had to go research this thing, and the answer to what to do if it stings you is scream.
from Wikipedia-
“One researcher described the pain as “…immediate, excruciating, unrelenting pain that simply shuts down one’s ability to do anything, except scream. Mental discipline simply does not work in these situations. In terms of scale, the wasp’s sting is rated near the top of the Schmidt sting pain index, second only to that of the bullet ant, and is described by Schmidt as “blinding, fierce [and] shockingly electric”.“
Soooooo…dissociate to escape or?
It’s laying eggs in you.
Let’s back up a second and fully appreciate that description.
The Schmidt sting pain index, a widely used classification system for the bites and stings of ants, bees and wasps, is literally the personal ranking system of a guy named Justin Schmidt, who goes around letting bugs sting him for science. Like, that’s this Thing as a scientist.
In one entry, he describes the sting of the common bee as “almost pleasant, [like] a lover just bit your earlobe a little too hard.”
In another, the sting of the yellowjacket is described as “hot and smoky, almost irreverent. Imagine W. C. Fields extinguishing a cigar on your tongue.“
So when the Schmidt sting pain index characterises the sting of the tarantula hawk as “blinding, fierce [and] shockingly electric”, well, now you know what your standard for comparison is!
this is fascinating but when do we kinkshame Justin Schmidt
hope your pets stay healthy in 2017
I almost didn’t blog this and felt guilty
Not risking it
hope ya pets even healthier in 2018
One time I was playing the sims and I wanted to make me and mike but I wanted to make us separately and have us meet. But when I moved into my house, I had this sexy ass neighbor. I figured I could have a fling with him and break it off and get with Mike later but then the neighbors kid got attached to me and I couldn’t just end it when I was so close to his daughter. I really cared about him too.
So the only thing I could do was have it end in tragedy. That way I wouldn’t have to break up with the guy and I could adopt his daughter to stay close to her. He passed away peacefully on fire in the kitchen. Now in previous games, when a kid is taken away by CPS, the next kid you adopt is the same kid. Welp that didn’t carry over into sims 4 so the daughter ended up being taken away and erased from the game by the great sims deity.
I’m a sentimental man, so I kept neighbor mans tombstone around. I’d occasionally chat with his ghost, but he seemed cold to me. I can’t help but thinking he was a bit mad his daughter no longer existed. But this escalated once I started seeing Mike. His ethereal visits became more frequent and more hostile, usually breaking my electronics or creating a mess. But he went overboard when he started the fire.
Being a sim the died in a fire, his ghost had certain abilities specific to his death (setting fires). He got pissed because I kissed Mike so he set my couch on fire that ended up barricading us in the bedroom. Now I couldn’t find the fire alarm in buy mode and I hadn’t had the foresight to predict my spiteful ghost died-in-a-fire ex boyfriend would be an afterlife arsonist to care about it that much so a lot of the house had burned by the time I could get the FD there.
After having almost nothing covered by insurance (thanks Obama), Mike sat me down to have a talk with me. While I couldn’t understand him, I imagine he said “What the fuck you need to deal with your crazy ass ex boyfriend ghost. This never would have happened if you weren’t a thirst little sim bitch and dated me first.”
I approached the grave. It was time to release him. He was waiting for me. He knew this was the end. That after this, there was no coming back from the afterlife. I know he tried to kill me, and he knows I got his daughter deleted, but at that moment, it was just like old times. Telling each other jokes 27 times in a row until he would have sex with me.
We had a final ghostly embrace and he was gone. I sold his tombstone for 300 bucks and bought a microwave.
I enjoyed this more than the last season of AHS
“He died peacefully on fire in the kitchen.”
hey guys. this is my invention. check it out
listen no matter how depressed I am whenever this post shows up on my dash I fucking lose it I just laugh so hard, it’s such a good post. The way it’s presented? Soap on a sink nozzle, okay clearly this is some sort of handwashing appliance. Then there’s just water going everywhere no further explanation it’s so good I’m so happy
I love that like every dude on 90 day fiancée is like “I’m Brad, I’m 42, I’m a rich business man and this 20 year old Brazilian model loves me for my personality and we’re soulmates.”
Me: *explaining to my lil bro what having a period feels like because he was curious*
Dad: Hey shut up literally no one wants to hear about that ew
Dad: Besides women are exaggerating the so called pain they go through anyway
Me:
Bro:
Bro: No wonder mom left you.
Me: OH MY GOD oH MY gOd OOOOOOOOOOOH
Bye