↳ genre: slight angst, mostly fluff & suggestive but only if u squint rlly hard
↳ word count: 1482
↳ warning: reader being insecure about her looks i guess?? (love urself ppl yall beautiful <3)
song recommendation: met a girl by tarune
♡
Hate was a strong word, but you felt it was appropriate to say that you absolutely hated nights like the one you were having on this particular day. Standing half-naked in front of the full-body mirror situated in the corner of your shared bedroom, your eyes swept over your body once more. You despised the way your gaze lingered on the stretch marks that tainted your skin.
Wallowing in self-pity and stressing over your physical flaws wasn't exactly a standard routine for you, especially when Jeno was around. But your boyfriend wouldn't be back until late at night, having texted you he had something to do that would require him to stay at the studio longer than usual.
You turned to the side, pressing your palm over your stomach, rubbing up and down as if it would magically flatten your abdomen. Nothing happened, of course, leaving you feeling sick and fed up with the thoughts you were having.
You wiped the tears accumulating in your eyes, not allowing it to trickle down your cheeks. You could see your boyfriend's face in your mind and briefly wondered whether you were truly good enough for him. You didn't blame your insecurities on him, never. Your boyfriend was nothing but loving, and he showered you with gifts just as much as he showered you with loving words, but there were times when it was remarkably hard to believe his kind words.
You wished you could miraculously switch off your mind and climb out of this self-loathing pit you had willingly put yourself into. It was your fault, you would admit that. If you hadn't decided to strip into your underwear and scrutinise yourself in the mirror then maybe you would've been in the dining room enjoying the dinner you had made by now.
As you were stepping closer to the mirror to get a better lock at your face, you heard the turning of a key in a lock before the front door was pushed open. The realisation that Jeno had come home much earlier than you expected kept you paralysed on the spot. It wasn't until you heard the front door shutting that you were finally able to move, hastily wiping the tears from your reddened eyes and shrugging on the robe you had carelessly tossed onto the bed.
You heard him call for your name but you didn't respond, scurrying into the bathroom to wash your face in hopes of being able to get rid of any evidence that you had been crying. Jeno couldn't know. You weren't going to drag him into your mess.
You cursed to yourself as you studied your reflection in the bathroom mirror. Your cheeks and nose were flushed, and your eyes were unmistakably bloodshot. There was no way Jeno wouldn't notice.
"Baby, you in here?" Jeno called out from the entrance of the bedroom. You heard shuffling as he took off his jacket. When he spoke again, his voice was dangerously close to the bathroom, and you immediately faked a smile. "Hey, why haven't you eaten dinner yet? Were you waiting for me?"
Turning your head, you were met with your boyfriend's figure standing in the bathroom doorway. It tugged your heart to see him look so beautiful, even after a whole day of working. You just couldn't understand why he had chosen you. Why hadn't he picked someone with less baggage and imperfections?
You watched as his small smile transformed into a frown. Without any hesitation, he stepped forward to grab your hand. "Hey, have you been crying? What's wrong?"
You forced a quiet chuckle. "I was watching this new romance movie that just released." You watched his face closely, swallowing when you saw that his worried expression hadn't dissipated at all. "Have you eaten dinner yet? Go shower and come eat dinner with me."
You squeezed his hand assuringly once more before walking past him to give him some privacy in the bathroom. "Were you really just watching a movie? You look like you've been crying for hours."
You plopped onto the bed with a huff and looked up to see Jeno had walked out of the bathroom and was slowly approaching your sitting form. "Babe, we've been dating long enough for you to know I'm sensitive when it comes to tragic endings."
He stood in front of you, cupping your cheeks in his hand to tilt your head up. "Yeah, and I also know my girlfriend enough to know whenever she's lying."
You managed to smile and shake your head as he pressed his thumbs to caress the irritated skin underneath your puffy eyes. "Jeno, I'm okay."
Leaning down, he pressed his forehead against yours, causing your noses to brush. The both of you stayed like that for a few more seconds, and you welcomed the distraction. You wanted to forget the cause of your previous breakdown and Jeno's presence was helping tremendously.
Feeling the gentle brush of his lips against yours, you gasped, hands flying to grasp his arms. "Jeno," you breathed, pulling away slightly to look into his eyes. They were dark, wild, so lovely.
"Tell me," he muttered softly.
Unable to look into his eyes as you confessed, you looked down at your lap. "I'm sorry," you began. "It's just so stupid. You're the best boyfriend there is, you treat me so well, and you're just so beautiful, Jeno, and I don't know how to... compete with that."
Once again, he forced your head up so he could look into his eyes. "Baby, we're not competing for anything. What are you trying to say?"
"I just can't understand why you're still with me. I'm so flawed, and you can settle for someone who's so much more good looking, someone who can give you so much more than I can."
Jeno's face remained expressionless as he gazed down at you, but you could tell the gears in his head were all turning. His silence worried you so you shifted in your seat awkwardly.
He seemed to notice your slight movement and finally snapped out of his train of thoughts. "Wait, you're not messing with me, right?"
Groaning, you tried to stand up, but he held your waist before you could walk away. "Okay, I know it's stupid. Can we just forget about it? Please?"
His eyes widened and he pulled you closer to him until there was no space left in between the two of you. "No, no, this is far from stupid. If you feel this way, it means I haven't done a good job at being your boyfriend. I'm supposed to be making you feel loved, but—"
"No! You've been a perfect boyfriend, you're perfect. It's not your fault, seriously, it's mine."
"If this is about the way you look, then I'll have to disagree and say that it's not your fault. Everything you consider imperfections or flaws, they're a part of you, and I fell in love with that a long time ago, and I'm not falling out of love anytime soon."
"I'm sorry for being so insecure. I just... I feel like you deserve better."
His lips broke out into a soft yet wistful smile. "You're not in any position to tell me what I deserve and don't baby," he mumbled lightheartedly. "Being with you was a choice that I made, loving you is something that I choose to do until now. All these choices that I made are all choices that I made deliberately, not because I'm forced to."
Unable to say anything else, your tears began to blur your visions once again, but this time it was because you were thankful. You felt so blessed that out of all of the people in the world, you ended up with Lee Jeno—a boy whose smile shone as bright as the sun and whose heart was beautiful and kind. "I love you so much," you managed to splutter out.
Sensing the oncoming tears, Jeno bent his knees a little so that he was eye-level with you. "Hey, don't cry, I love you too," he spoke, his smile now reaching his eyes, turning them into the little crescent moon that you adored so much. "You make me happy, and that's more than enough for me. Is that enough for you?"
You nodded. "All I ever want is for you to be happy, Jeno."
He visibly relaxed at this, and gone was the solemn atmosphere that once lingered in the air. "That's settled then. You're not getting rid of me that easily because you want me happy and I'm the happiest when I'm with you. So, will you lie down on the bed for me now?"
Tilting your head, you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. "Why?"
"I still need to show you how beautiful you are to me and I don't think words are gonna cut it."
If you could turn back time, you would go back to the night you met Jaemin at the small coffee shop near your apartment. Instead of smiling up at him when he asked whether the seat in front of you was taken or not, you would've turned away, gathering your belongings and walking out before he could introduce himself to you.
You wouldn't have let him tell you his name, wouldn't have let him pull you in with his kind smile, wouldn't have given him your number. Perhaps, if you failed to do that and inevitably let yourself fall for him again, you would've tried your best to save him. To stop him from being engulfed by the darkness that put out the fire burning in his soul.
The first night he came home to you, his smile was so bright and blinding, and his eyes, although tired, held such a contagious joy in them that you could still remember even until now. Then, you could only watch as his smile continue to diminish each passing day, gradually lessening until it no longer reached his eyes anymore and he had to force it.
The cheery gleam in his eyes had also vanished, replaced by exhaustion and weariness. Jaemin wasn't one to talk, you had noticed that long ago, so you never asked him whether he wanted to talk about it, opting instead to let him have his space. You understood a little too late that what he really needed was you.
Your time, your support, your reassurance. That was what he truly needed, and you had been so oblivious to it. You wanted so badly to turn back time so that you could fix the mistakes that led to Jaemin's undoing.
You would make sure to welcome him home every night. You would make sure to follow him into the bedroom and embrace his tired form, whispering into his ear how much you loved him until he had no more doubt about whether you genuinely loved him or not.
You could still remember the morning you woke up to Jaemin lying on his back, eyebrows furrowed as he stared at the ceiling. He looked deep in thoughts, and you considered sitting up and kissing away the crease between his eyebrows, but you didn't. So why hadn't you done that? Why had you instead stood up to make your way to the bathroom?
Jaemin had mumbled your name when you walked back into the bedroom, coaxing you to sit beside him on the edge of the bed. You smiled at him, but he never returned it. That was the first time you realised gone was the Jaemin you once loved, replaced by an empty shell, hollow, unhappy.
Back then, you were too foolish to realise that it had been your doing. Jaemin was slowly slipping into darkness each day, and your candle wasn't bright enough to guide him back into the light.
"Do you still love me?" Jaemin had asked once you sat beside him on the bed, and your smile was wiped from your face instantly. "Do you still want me?"
The questions felt so brutal. You recall feeling angry that he had asked you such nonsense. How did it not occur to you that he was asking you those questions because you hadn't given him many reasons to believe you still had feelings for him?
Instead of denying, you let your anger take over instead. "Why would you ask that? You don't think I would tell you if I didn't want this relationship anymore?"
"You don't have to tell me. You've shown it enough."
Even then, you still dared to be offended by his words. You stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door on the way out. You regret everything about that day.
When you finally calmed down enough, his words began to sink in. Slowly, you began to understand what led Jaemin to ask you those questions. You returned to your apartment late that afternoon with wet tears trickling down your cheeks, only to find it was empty of Jaemin, empty of his belongings.
You watched the beautiful woman approach her friend, the train of her white dress trailing behind her as she clutched onto a glass of champagne.
When you received the wedding invitation earlier that month, your knees had buckled, unable to hold the heaviness that had suddenly filled your heart. You could still recall the pain you felt days after, could still recall the way your mundane day-to-day routine suddenly felt so insufferable because your mind had been occupied by the thought of him. The thought of Kim Younghoon.
The pain never truly disappeared, only gradually vanishing as days passed by. Inevitably, it returned on the days leading up to the wedding. You would lie in bed at midnight, legs tucked close to your chest as you stared at the gown hanging on your closet door because you simply couldn't find the courage to put it in the wardrobe along with your other clothes. Because truthfully, as strange as it may sound, it wasn't just a gown. You would throw it away once the wedding was over, a metaphor of letting go. Letting go of what? Younghoon? He wasn't yours anymore. Letting go of your feelings for him, perhaps? You scoffed at the thought. That was never going to happen.
The pain you had felt before the wedding day seemed so minuscule and insignificant when you compared it to the way you felt as Younghoon approached his wife, pressing his mouth to her temple delicately before walking away to mingle with other people.
What you felt at that moment was something excruciating and painful. Your chest throbbed, aching and stinging as though you had run a mile. And maybe you had been running, running from the reality that there was no possibility Younghoon would ever be yours again. Maybe in another life, but you weren't sure you could wait that long.
Like so many times before, you decided to run away from the truth, excusing yourself to stray further from the crowd so you could bask in your pain alone. If Younghoon had noticed you walking away, he would think you hadn't changed at all, that you were still the selfish girl you were, always shying away from her problems in order not to get hurt. And you wouldn't have had any right to deny, because you had once made him feel the same way you felt that day.
You stood on the edge of the cliff overlooking the beach, feeling numb as you smelled the ocean and listened to the crashing waves down below. You thought about plunging into the dark water and never returning because surely that wouldn't have felt as painful as what you were feeling right at that second.
You finally let the tears trickle down your flushed cheeks, finding yourself unable to conceal your hurt anymore. You were out of sight from anyone so you let your sobs be heard by the wind, letting it carry your sounds of anguish somewhere no one would ever hear.
You cried until the sun dipped low in the horizon, staining the landscape with an orange tint. The view must've been breathtaking, but you couldn't tell because your tears blurred your eyes and all you could see were warm colours that felt a lot like regret and resentment.
When you finally managed to calm your cries into small sniffles you heard footsteps approach. You smiled bitterly at the fact that you could still remember his peculiar way of walking. Light steps, with long delays in between each step because his legs were remarkably long and the occasional scrape of the sole of his feet against the ground because you remembered the night he had told you, 'When your legs are this heavy, you just can't be bothered to fully pick it up'.
"Why are you here?" He asked you as he came to a halt beside you.
You furrowed your brows, swallowing the sobs that threatened to break out at the sound of his voice. His sweet, melodic voice that sounded a little too cold when he had asked the question. "I felt like crying." Your voice trembled when you spoke.
"No, I mean, why are you here at my wedding?"
A long pause, and you kept your eyes trained to the vast ocean in front of you, even when your eyes started to burn from the sunlight. "You invited me, Younghoon. Why did you invite me?"
"I didn't think you would come. You always liked to stay in your comfort zone."
There it was, the truth.
"It's been a year, hasn't it?"
He scoffed. "A year since you told me you loved me."
You finally looked at him, and your throat tightened at the sight of his beautiful face. He looked astonishing under the light of the setting sun. "And a year since you walked away on me."
He never met your gaze once as he continued speaking. "I walked away on you," he repeated. "Just like you did to me when I confessed. Because I was a problem to you, and you love avoiding your problems."
"You weren't a problem to me. Never. I just needed to sort out my feelings," you whispered. "I came back to you, didn't I? I told you I loved you back."
"Yes, months later, when my love for you had turned to hatred because... how could you just walk away like that?"
"I was so scared of being hurt."
"But you weren't scared of hurting me."
"I said I was sorry."
"Well, it doesn't matter now."
You nodded your head even though you disagreed. It did matter, maybe not to him, but definitely to you, because after a year you still couldn't move on. You still loved Younghoon with all your heart, but you weren't going to admit that. Not when he had just pledged to love somebody else for the rest of his life.
"Thank you for loving me," he started, and finally looked at you for the first time since he came. "But it's time for both of us to love someone else now. Go home, y/n," he spoke your name so tenderly, but his next words cut you like a sharp knife.
"Go home and try to find somebody who can love you half as much as I did."
For the third time that night, you were awoken by the depressing thoughts that had been plaguing you ever since your break up with Seungmin. Sighing, you sat up on your bed and leaned back against the headboard with your knees tucked close to your chest. You rested the side of your head on your knees, looking out your bedroom window to gaze down at the view of the bustling city and look at the night sky, willing yourself to forget about him.
It proved to be harder than you thought when you caught sight of your reflection on the window. You stared at yourself, wanting nothing more than to force yourself to forget about him. It had been 3 weeks. How long was it going to take to move on?
"Why aren't you asleep?" Seungmin asked as he draped his arm around your middle, sleepily peering down at the book you held in your hands.
You tilted your head to press a kiss to his forehead. "In 5 minutes. I just reached the good part," you replied with a gentle smile.
He hummed. "You said that 5 minutes ago. I wanna cuddle."
Unable to resist his proposal, you set your book on your nightstand and turned off the bedside lamp before turning to Seungmin. "You're lucky I like you."
Even in the dark, you could see the toothy grin he flashed you as he pulled you close to his chest. Not long after, you were lying on top of him, face tucked into the crook of his neck and legs tangled with his under your blanket. His fingers continued to graze your back, slowly lulling you to sleep.
That night, as you pressed your nose against his neck, you noted the way he smelled like fresh rain with a hint of lavender. He smelled heavenly.
You groaned as you pushed yourself off the bed, heading toward the window to open it. You didn't know whether it was just your imagination that was playing tricks on you but it seemed as though the smell of him was suddenly clinging to every surface of your room. You felt as though you were suffocating until you finally opened the window and breathed in the fresh air.
"Get it together," you whispered to yourself as you let the gentle breeze enter your room. You let it carry his scent away from you and your dreams.
After a few minutes, you decided the wind wasn't doing a good enough job of washing away his smell so you moved to the kitchen to grab a glass of water.
You sat on one of the stool before resting your head on the cool, marble counter to relieve yourself of the headache that always presented itself whenever you thought of him. Him, him, him. He was like a ghost that didn't want to leave.
"I think I added too much sugar," Seungmin said, peering down at the lemon tart on the countertop.
He dug a spoon into the tart and circled the counter to reach you. He kept his eyes locked on the spoon, determined on making sure he didn't drop any crumbs. He held a hand under your chin as he slowly brought the spoon to your mouth.
You watched as he unconsciously opened and closed his mouth to match your movement when your mouth closed around the spoon. You pressed your fingers to your lips as you forced yourself to swallow.
Seungmin watched you nervously, the spoon he held still hovering in the air. His face fell when you scrunched his nose. "Yah, it's not good, is it?"
You snickered, hopping off the stool to wrap your arms around his waist. "It's sweeter than usual," you pointed out.
He grimaced as he tried to detach you from him. "I'll make another one."
"What? Seungmin, that's going to take too long. Why don't we just sit in front of the TV and eat the ice cream I bought this morning?"
He scowled, obviously upset at himself. "Let go, I need to make another—"
"I bought your favourite flavour," you cut him off, tightening your grip around his waist. "Seriously, Seungmin, it's okay! It's still edible. Just put it in the fridge. I'll end up finishing it eventually."
He frowned, obviously dejected. "I can't believe I messed it up."
"It's not a big deal, I promise."
You couldn't help but stand on your tiptoes to peck his lips. When you pulled away, his lips had tugged into a small smile. "You taste like powdered sugar," he told you.
"You taste like lemon. You smell like it too. I like it." You pressed your nose to his. "I like it a lot."
Your vision started to become blurry from the tears that were slowly accumulating. Determined not to cry over a person who was no longer in your life anymore, you pushed yourself off the stool and dragged yourself to the living room, basking in the silence of the apartment that used to be filled with Seungmin's laughter and voice whenever he came over.
You spotted Seungmin's hoodie on the arm of your couch. It had been sitting there for 3 weeks straight now and you still couldn't bring yourself to return it to him. The first day after the breakup, the hoodie smelt of his detergent and cologne, wafting across the room whenever you walked past it. As time passed, the sweet smell that you loved so much started to fade away, unlike your feelings for Seungmin that still burned fiercely even after weeks of not seeing him.
You turned, looking back at the hallway leading to the bedroom, finding it dark and empty. You half-expected for a sluggish Seungmin to appear and ask you why you were out of bed.
"Why are you awake?" Seungmin's sleepy voice sounded as he emerged from the hallway. He rubbed his eyes with the sleeves of his sweater. "Did you have a nightmare?"
"No," you whispered, eyes closing. "Just getting some water."
You felt his arms wrap around you before he planted soft kisses across your forehead. "Come back to bed with me."
"Okay," you replied. It wasn't until you opened your eyes did you realise you had been talking to the empty space of your apartment and your contented smile faltered.
Shivering, you padded back into your bedroom in hopes of getting some sleep. As you laid in bed, you still couldn't shake the feeling of anger and disappointment coursing through you. You were furious at yourself for letting a person have so much control of your life.
You tossed and turned until your skin was slick with sweat and you were on the verge of tears from not being able to get him off your mind. You managed to fall asleep for some time, only to awaken again by the ringing doorbell.
Sunlight spilt into your apartment as you hastily shuffled to the door in your bunny slippers, expecting it to be one of your friend who occasionally stopped by to give you some breakfast.
You blinked a few times when you saw the person standing in front of you. You weren't quite sure whether you were going insane or were just sleep-deprived.
The smell of honey and lavender pervaded the room almost immediately, almost as if they had returned home and couldn't wait to taint the whole space with their fragrance.
You inhaled sharply, both from the sudden longing and shock that you felt when you gazed into his dark eyes. "Seungmin?"
He scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. "Hey. Sorry I didn't give you a heads-up before coming here, but can we talk?"
One thing that you adored most about Hyunjin was his obliviousness to how much his small, sweet gestures affected you. Oftentimes, he would ask you why you were suddenly smiling, but you always shook your head and kissed his cheek, not allowing him to question you any further. To be frank, you didn't know the answer to his question most of the times. You simply didn't know how to put it into the right words.
Just when you thought your love for him couldn't be any more profound, he would prove you wrong with his subtle gestures, and you were completely infatuated with the fact that he seemed unaware of the significance of his actions.
[18:30]
"Hyunjin, we have to go now. Changbin might already be there," you spoke as you shrugged on your coat.
He finally joined you near the doorway, his black hair slightly messy from how frantic he had been as he searched for his favourite jacket. He took one look at you and immediately stepped in front of you before you could exit.
You were about to ask what was wrong when he suddenly reached back around you, his fingers grazing against the back of your neck as he untucked your hair from under your coat. His warm breath fanned across your cheek as he leaned forward.
He didn't say anything else afterwards, only turning and walking out onto the porch to wait for you to lock the front door. You stayed frozen for a few seconds, smiling to yourself almost timidly. Maybe it was the fact that he acted so nonchalant about it that made the butterflies take flight in your stomach. You were sure Hyunjin had long forgotten about it as soon as you stepped out of the house, but that moment replayed in your head throughout the whole night.
[21:15]
You heard Hyunjin's high-pitched giggle and immediately sat straight, forcing your half-closed eyes to open. Jisung and Minho were too busy laughing at what Hyunjin had said to notice your drowsy state, and you were glad for that. You knew the boys rarely ever had time off to relax and spend time together without it being related to work so you were more than happy to wait around for Hyunjin.
You managed to keep up with their conversation for a few more minutes before the familiar feeling of tiredness washed over you again. Tilting your head to the side, you tried to mask your yawn behind Hyunjin's shoulder, but you knew he noticed as soon as he glanced at you and wrapped an arm around your waist.
He brought his lips closer to your ear. "You wanna go home?"
You shook your head. "No, I'm okay. Talk to them some more. I'll wait."
"It's alright if you want to go home. They'll understand—"
"Hyunjin, I'm fine." You made sure to smile and reassure him with a gentle kiss on his jaw.
He nodded, turning back to talk with Jisung and Minho after practically forcing you to rest your head on his shoulder. Even in your sluggish state, you still managed to blush as you thought about the seemingly frivolous act Hyunjin had just done. You fell asleep not long after and unfortunately missed out on Jisung and Minho's awed expression when they finally noticed you were out cold on their friend's shoulder.
[11:45]
Lunches with Hyunjin were fairly uncommon due to his tight work schedule, so whenever you did have the opportunity to eat together in the afternoon, you always made sure to savour it.
You smiled up at Hyunjin when he laced his fingers with your left hand, allowing you to still eat with your right hand. "I wish we could spend the whole day together," he promptly spoke after swallowing the food in his mouth.
You squeezed his hand gently. "We could do a movie night tonight."
He frowned, leaning closer to you. "I might not finish practice until past midnight."
"Then let's enjoy the time we have now."
He nodded, letting go of your hand to resume eating. Both Hyunjin and you occasionally glanced at each other as you ate, sometimes breaking out into a fit of giggles just from looking at each other's face.
It was a sunny afternoon and the sunlight shone through the big window situated beside the table you both were sitting at. At one point, Hyunjin smiled when he saw you close your eyes to bask in the warm sunlight. He wanted to tell you how beautiful you looked, but he resorted to caressing your cheek with the back of his pinky finger instead.
He turned his body to face you before gathering your hair into his hand. "Give me your hair tie."
You handed him the one around your wrist. "You don't like my hair down?"
He snickered. "It's not that. Your hair's getting in your food," he explained as he tied your hair into a ponytail. He made you look at him before taking his time to add some finishing touches, pulling out some strands and tucking them behind your ears. "There," he said after some time and then turned back to finish his food.
You stared at him with a grin until he noticed and chuckled at your elated expression. Unable to contain your happiness at having such a wonderful person in your life, you leaned forward to press your lips to his.
The first thing you felt when you woke up was the warm sunlight against your face. Your apartment was silent aside from the sound of the bedsheet rustling from your constant shifting and stretching.
You stayed lying on your bed for some time, not ready to open your eyes and carry out your morning routine just yet. You softly sighed when you realized your boyfriend, Felix, was most likely still sleeping in his dorm, having texted you about how he was still at the practice room at midnight the night before.
Rolling over, you expected to be met by a cold space on the bed where Felix would often occupy, so you were pleasantly surprised when your arm landed on Felix’s sleeping figure.
Your eyes fluttered open, and you tried to hold back a smile when you saw Felix’s peaceful face only inches from yours. You knew he owned a spare key to your apartment, but seeing him there and sleeping so soundly on your bed was something you would never be used to.
You considered waking him up with a kiss on the lips but decided against it when you heard his soft snores. He only ever snored when he was exhausted, and it happened far more often than you would have liked.
You brushed your fingers through his silky hair as gently as you could, careful to not wake him up. Waking up beside Felix had always been an activity you looked forward to when you went to sleep every night. There was something about the way the morning sun shone on his face that had you feeling giddy and light-headed.
You rolled over onto your stomach, resting your chin on your crossed arms as you studied Felix's tranquil expression. He was heart-wrenchingly beautiful.
You let your eyes wander across his features. First, his eyelashes, then his small, delicate nose and slightly puffy lips. Then your eyes trailed to the freckles adorning his cheeks and nose.
Some time passed before you finally built up the courage to touch his face. You grazed the spots of freckles on his cheek with the tip of your index finger before moving on to the bridge of his nose and ending up at his eyelids.
You always made sure to let him know of your fascination with his freckles, but he would often respond by blushing and bashfully telling you to 'cut it out'.
There was no way he would let you study his freckles for so long if he was awake, so you took your time memorising the brown spots you adored so much.
You were only halfway through connecting each of his freckles with the other when Felix suddenly let out a quiet hum. Your finger stopped moving.
"Are you counting my freckles again?" he groggily asked without opening his eyes, his voice deeper considering he just woke up.
You let him shift onto his back before you crawled forward and rested your chin on his shoulder. "Good morning," you muttered.
He responded with another hum before finally opening his eyes to look down at you lovingly staring at his sleepy face. He wrapped an arm around you, pulling you closer to his side. A sluggish smile graced his face as he brushed away the strands of hair that had fallen onto your face.
"Don't go back to sleep," you whined half-heartedly when you saw him close his eyes again.
He chuckled, and you hoped he didn't notice the way your heartbeat suddenly raced. "I'm not. I just want to hold you."
"Why didn't you wake me up last night?"
He opened his eyes again, looking down at you with his dark eyes. "I didn't want to interrupt your beauty sleep."
You scoffed, slapping his chest as you sat up. "You're cheesy."
Felix grabbed your wrist and pulled you back down onto the bed before you could stand up. You exclaimed his name in protest but was cut off when he cupped your jaw and pressed his lips to yours, silencing you entirely.
The kiss was soft at first, but it gradually deepened when his hold on your waist tightened. You tangled your leg with his leg as you pushed yourself up onto your elbows.
When you pulled away, you kept your forehead pressed against his as you played with the collar of his shirt. "You wanna get breakfast?"
He groaned before wrapping both his arms around you and pushing you so you were lying on your back with him on top you. "Let's just stay in bed until I have to go back to the dorm," he mumbled drowsily.
You complied but only after requesting for another kiss. Needless to say, Felix placed his head on your chest and fell back asleep after a few minutes of listening to your heartbeat.
