Rewatching mp100 and even though I am 100% projecting and this has no canon implications whatsoever, this episode is one of the reasons I think mob has bpd traits. He's lived his life trying to keep everything inside because he's scared of hurting others, that something about him is dangerous and needs to be controlled. So it's absolutely devastating when he "failed to change," he did it again, he caused another accident, a fight he lost with himself. He lives his life socially awkward yet always trying his best, trying to do the right thing, be a good person. But that part of himself he tries to control still ends up destroying anyway. It reminds me heavily on what it's like with quiet bpd (though any pwbpd could relate). You're angry but never allow yourself to express that anger towards others, so you constantly keep yourself in check, you always make sure you're never hurting anyone with what you say and do, quiet bpd is all bottled emotions that lead to self destruction, which in turn hurt people anyway. you don't cause fights and can't confront people, but somehow you scare them off anyway.
You failed to change. You did it again. You tried so hard yet it happened anyway. You end up failing to conquer yourself. Sadness
I definitely felt this scene in my heart and it hurt
Characters Who are Autistic, Because I, an Autistic Person, Said So
*gifs not mine*
Abed Nadir (Community)
has special interests
doesn’t like change
vivid & complex imagination
often wishes reality is more like tv & actively tries to make it so (particularly when he’s upset/overwhelmed)
difficulty fully understanding social cues, behaviours & practices
however, he ‘studies’ those around him to learn (considering himself “a student of human character”)
excellent memory
very self-aware
infodumps, hyperfocuses & hyperfixates
dan harmon wrote abed based on himself and later discovered he’s actually autistic
Chidi Anagonye (The Good Place)
uncomfortable crossing his ethical boundaries (including rule breaking & lying)
has a special interest
infodumps, hyperfocuses & hyperfixates
socially awkward
honestly, writing a 3,000-and-something page book on your special interest that not even an ancient demon (who can read all of humanity’s literature in an hour) can read/understand, is the most autistic thing that’s ever been done
difficulty making decisions (especially when put on the spot)
gastrointestinal issues (especially when anxious)
gets ‘worked up over little things’ (every autistic person has heard some variation of this phrase at least once, right?)
literal thinking
Xenk Yendar (Dungeons & Dragons: Honour Among Thieves)
Why I think Annie Cresta from THG is Autistic-coded!
We never get much information on Annie in the books, so she is kind of a mystery. But based on the information we do have, and all the lovely character building fans have done for her over the years, I can infer she is autistic.
-Annie was called “mad”, but as we know she actually had PTSD (seemingly with psychotic features). Annie was described by Katniss as being strange, laughing at odd moments, staring off into the distance, and covering her ears and squeezing her eyes shut randomly.
-Staring off into space and covering her eyes and ears can be explained by her PTSD symptoms. Zoning out/dissociation is common in trauma survivors, and covering her ears and eyes could very well be her response to traumatic flashbacks. But PTSD does not explain her laughing at odd moments or having a “strange” personality.
-As an autistic woman, I instantly related to Annie when it was revealed how much everyone thought Annie was weird and, sadly, it seemed people did not talk to her much because of this. Autistic people are very commonly seen as weird due to our mannerisms, speech patterns, perceived social awkwardness, stimming, our special interests, etc.
-Also, Katniss, and everyone else, seemed to think it was a little odd that Finnick was in love with her, to them they seemed like an odd match. Annie, the strange, “mad” girl, and Finnick the hot, charming guy (which for me felt relatable since people seem to be unable to imagine someone who is autistic being desirable to someone). And everyone but Finnick seemed to kind of infantilize Annie a bit. This commonly happens to autistic people, the assumption that we are child-like and can’t be in romantic relationships, especially with someone who everyone sees as conventionally attractive/hot! *eye roll*
(That is also something I love about Annie and Finnick’s relationship. I love the weirdo ends up with popular person trope and they definitely fit that <3)
-In the Mockingjay book when Katniss and Annie ride in the hovercraft together, Katniss says that Annie is not crazy, she is just strange and laughs at odd moments during conversation. To me, this came off as her not really knowing how to talk to Katniss and maybe not understanding when it is “appropriate” to laugh when conversing. Annie may have laughed during the conversation because it was quiet and awkward and she didn’t know how to continue it.
-Also, when Katniss mentions that often Annie stares off into the distance at nothing, that is another autistic trait. Autistic people often fixate on “nothing” as a form of stimming (self-stimulatory behavior), and as an escape from the, often overwhelming, world around us. Staring/zoning out is also often paired with other stims like repeatedly blinking, fidgeting, vocal stimming, etc. Also, since I think it was mentioned that when she zoned out she would sometimes be smiling, I doubt at those times it was trauma related. She would have likely just been lost in thought, probably thinking about something that made her happy.
-This brings me to another thing, Annie covering her ears and squeezing her eyes shut. While this is intended in the books to be a trauma response, and it is a pretty accurate one, not really any bad psychology there. I just think there is more to it. While, unlike what the books insinuate, it is not likely at all that Annie is always ill. People with PTSD will generally be quite stable/in their normal state when they are in a safe environment. But when Katniss meets Annie, she is not in a stable state. She’d just returned from the Capitol where it was insinuated that she experienced sexual assault, Mags had just died, she is all the sudden in District 13, and she had only just got Finnick back after two months. So it makes complete sense that she would be having flashbacks in such a triggered state. But, I also think that covering her ears and closing her eyes could be a stim and a reaction to overwhelming noises or sensations. Especially since she has experienced such drastic change! Since autistic people are sensitive to big changes and her PTSD was triggered, her sensory differences/issues would be triggered as well!
-I also like to imagine Annie as a marine biology nerd when she in District 4, I think that would be her special interest!
-So yeah! That is why I think Annie Cresta is a late-diagnosed Autistic woman (diagnosed in District 13 at age 23) with PTSD *mic drop*
look ….. we often say will graham autism. will graham autistic. but how about HANNIBAL LECTER AUTISM???!???!?!!!!!!!!! listen. he always wears suits. is very weird about his cooking and food. has little empathy (and if he has he controls it). thinks himself above everyone else. freaks out when som1 actually hurts him. freaked out when will didnt come to his appointment. extremely quick dependence on will. knows like 8 languages. has PERFECT extensive memory. needs everything to be clean and perfect. his hyperfixations are KILLING and MONEY. do you get me
Columbo is coded neurodivergent. Every case becomes a special interest. He literally loses sleep over the smallest detail until it has an explanation. He says things like, "There must be something wrong with me. I seem to bother people, I seem to make them nervous." He has a logical reason for everything he does, but his behavior is read as quirky or awkward. He's naturally very considerate, but often clueless about social etiquette. He wears the same clothes every day because everything else feels wrong. He doesn't like to try new foods.
It's nice to see a neurodivergent-coded adult with obvious social "deficits" appreciated, even celebrated, for their contributions.
When Madge eats lunch with her everyday and then katniss is surprised when she comes to say goodbye to her and gives her the mockingjay pin because she didn’t realise they were friends
*Haymitch trying to train her for the pre game interview and she can’t figure it out* “Then lie! Make something up!” says Haymitch. “I’m not good at lying,” I say.
*Cinna trying to help her with this same thing* “Suppose, when you answer the questions, you think you’re addressing a friend back home. Who would your best friend be?” asks Cinna. “Gale,” I say instantly. “Only it doesn’t make sense, Cinna. I would never be telling Gale those things about me. He already knows them.”
*Peeta talking to her on the roof* “I don’t know how to say it exactly. Only…I want to die as myself. Does that make any sense?” he asks. I shake my head. How could he die as anyone but himself?
*Peeta on the verge of dying but still flirting with her* At least he’s still able to joke around. :)
*Peeta shows her his paintings of the arena* “what do you think?” “i hate them.” (queen of blunt honesty)
My mother has to save the strongest for the worst pain, but what is the worst pain? To me, it’s always the pain that is present. If I were in charge, those painkillers would be gone in a day because I have so little ability to watch suffering. (i also have no understanding of pain scales and hyper empathy)
That’s true. No one in their right mind would let me make the plans. Because I obviously can’t tell a friend from an enemy.
When they’re trying to film that first propo and she can’t do the line properly
To hear Delly describe it, I had next to no friends because I intimidated people. Not true. I had next to no friends because I wasn’t friendly.
*Gale telling her how he got jealous when Darius flirted with her at the Hob and that’s how he realised he liked her* “Darius was just joking around,” I say. “Probably. Although you’d be the last to figure out if he wasn’t,” Gale tells me.
But my best friend predicts I will choose the person who I think I “can’t survive without.” There’s not the least indication that love, or desire, or even compatibility will sway me. I’ll just conduct an unfeeling assessment of what my potential mates can offer me. As if in the end, it will be the question of whether a baker or a hunter will extend my longevity the most. (quite literally just the stereotypical thought that we are robotic with little to no emotion)
literally every single time she had trouble figuring out people’s intentions or feelings about her or her own emotions and feelings towards others
When one or more neurodivergent people significantly influence the creation of a piece of media (regardless of whether or not they know they're neurodivergent at the time), I consider it a flag for possible neurodivergent-coded elements. The neurodivergent influence could come from a writer, director, actor, artist, etc. depending on the type of media and how it's produced.
(This isn't to say that every piece of media influenced by a neurodivergent person will be ND-coded, nor that every piece of media that is ND-coded will have a neurodivergent person on staff. It's just more likely than not that a neurodivergent creator will make stuff that reflects their own experiences.)
Examples of ND-Coded Media by Confirmed Neurodivergent Creators:
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (TV Series)
Glenn Howerton (Co-Creator, Actor for Dennis Reynolds) has shared that he was late-diagnosed with ADHD (src).
Rob McElhenney (Co-Creator, Actor for Mac) shared that he was late-diagnosed with "a host of neurodevelopmental disorders and learning disabilities" (src).
Everything Everywhere All At Once (Film)
Daniel Kwan (Co-Writer, Co-Director) discovered he had ADHD while researching it to write the movie's main character (src).
Phineas & Ferb (Cartoon)
Dan Povenmire (Co-Creator, Voice Actor for Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz) has shared videos acknowledging his ADHD on Tiktok (src) and Instagram (src).
Community (TV Series)
Dan Harmon (Creator, Writer, Executive Producer) discovered he's on the autism spectrum while researching it to write the character Abed Nadir (src).
Speculative / Unconfirmed:
Welcome to Night Vale (Podcast)
Joseph Fink (Co-Creator) may have made a social media post implying that he realized he's autistic because of people pointing out that the character Carlos Dave Robles is autistic-coded. (src). However, I've done some digging and haven't been able to find the original post or any other info on this topic. If you have sources confirming or denying this info, please share them with me!
Please do let me know if you think of any edits or additions I could make to improve this post! I'll keep an update log under a readmore once I've made changes.
Starting off my series of posts going more in-depth into individual ND-coded traits!
A character with Flat Affect is someone who is perceived as less expressive in comparison to their peers, particularly when it comes to their face and/or voice. They may deviate from their default/resting expression or voice less often and/or less obviously than others around them. Due to this they may be perceived as lacking empathy or emotional range/depth compared to their peers, even when that isn't necessarily the case.
Examples of ND-Coded Characters with this Trait:
Lan Wangji (Mo Dao Zu Shi / Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation / The Untamed)
Chu Wanning (Dumb Husky and his White Cat Shizun)
Ron Swanson and April Ludgate (Parks and Recreation)
Mado Akira (Tokyo Ghoul)
Captain Ray Holt (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)
Abed Nadir (Community)
Ferb Fletcher (Phineas and Ferb)
Inaho Kaizuka (Aldnoah Zero)
Hasegawa Langa (Sk8 The Infinity)
Sigrid (Sigrid)
Wednesday Addams (Wednesday)
Chu Sang Woo (Semantic Error)
Tina Belcher (Bob's Burgers)
Saiki Kusuo (Saiki Kusuo no Psi-Nan)
Please do let me know if you think of any edits or additions I could make to improve this post! I'll keep an update log below the cut.
Represention of Autistic Frustration in Laios Dungeon Meshi
Like many other autistic people, I related strongly to Laios Touden while reading Dungeon Meshi. This post isn't going to spend time disputing whether he displays autistic traits or not—while I could do that, I want to focus on why specifically his portrayal struck a chord with me in a way the writing of most other autistic-coded characters has not.
Disclaimer: as the above suggests, this post is strongly informed by my own experiences as an autistic person, as well as the experiences of my neurodivergent friends with whom I have spoken about this subject. I want to clarify that in no way am I asserting my personal experience to be some Universal Autistic Experience. This post is about why Laios' character feels distinct and significant to me in regard to autistic representation, and while I'm at it, I do feel that I have interesting things to say about autistic representation in media generally. This also got a bit long, so I'm sticking it under a read more. Spoilers for up to the end of chapter 88 below.
The thing that stands out most to me in regard to Laios' characterisation is the open anger he displays when someone points out his inability to read other people. This comes up prominently in his interactions with "Shuro" (Toshiro Nakamoto):
The frustration pictured above (Laios continuing to physically tussle with Toshiro, using crude language toward him) becomes even more notable when you remember that this is Laios, who, outside of these interactions, is not easily fazed and often exists as a lighthearted contrast to the rest of the cast. Then we get to Laios' nightmare.
In Falin's words: "Nightmares love emotional wounds. Wounds you hold in your heart. Things that give you stress, or things that were traumatic for you. They aggravate memories like that and cause the dreamer to have terrible dreams." (chapter 42, page 10.) (damn. i'm properly citing for this post and everything.)
Thus, Laios' nightmare establishes an important fact: even if he is unable to recognise social blunders while he's making them, he's at least subconsciously aware that other people operate on a different wavelength to him, and that he's an outsider in many of his social circles (both past and present). His dream-father's disparaging words stress the impact this has had upon his ability to live up to the expectations set out for him, and we also get a panel of kids who smirk at him (presumably former bullies to some degree). Toshiro's appearance only hammers home how much Laios is still both humiliated and angered by his misunderstanding of their relationship.
I've thought a lot about anger as concomitant to the autistic experience. When autistic representation portrays ostracization, it's generally from an angle of the autistic character being upset at how conforming to neurotypical norms doesn't come easily to them; as a result, they express a desire to 'get better' at meeting neurotypical standards, a desire to become more 'normal' (whether the writing implies this is a good thing or not). In contrast, not once does Laios go, "I need to perform better in my social interactions, and try to care less about monsters, because that's what other people find weird." His frustration is directed outward rather than inward, and as a result, it's the people around him who are framed as nonsensical.
The Winged Lion starts delineating Laios' anger, and Laios' reaction is to think to himself, "It can sense all my thoughts, huh?" (chapter 88, page 16.) This is the scene that really resonated with me. I'm not saying I have never felt the desire to conform to neurotypical norms that is borne from insecurity, but primarily, I know that I don't want to work toward becoming 'normal'—I don't want to change myself for people who follow rules I find nonsensical. It's the difference between, "Oh god, why can't I get it," and, "WHY CAN'T YOU GET IT?" (phrasing here courtesy of my friend Miles @dogwoodbite). And for me personally, Dungeon Meshi is the first time I've seen this frustration and the resultant voluntary isolation from other people portrayed in media so candidly. Laios' anger is not downplayed or written to be easily palatable, either.
The culmination of Laios' frustrations in this scene wherein we learn that Laios has fantasised about "a pack of monsters attacking a village" drives home just how alienated he really feels. I need not go into his wish to become a monster himself, redolent of how many autistic people identify/have identified with non-humans to some degree as a result of a percieved disconnect from society (when I was younger, I wanted to be a robot. I still kind of do.)
Obviously, wishing death upon other people is a weighty thing, but the unfiltered nature of this page is what deeply resonated with me. The Winged Lion is laying Laios' deepest and most transgressive desires bare, and they are desires that are a product of lifelong ostracization by others (whether intentional or unintentional). This is the brand of anger I'm familiar with, and that my neurodivergent friends express being familiar with, but that I haven't seen portrayed in writing so explicitly before—in fact, it surprised me because most well-meaning autistic representation I've experienced veers toward infantilisation in trying make the autistic character's struggles easy for neurotypicals to sympathise with.
Let's also not neglect the symbolism inherent to Laios' daydream. "A pack of monsters attacking a village". Functionally, monsters are Laios' special interest—he percieves everything first and foremost through his passion for monsters. His daydream of monsters attacking—killing—humans, is fundamentally a daydream of the world he understands (monsters) overthrowing the world that is so illogical to him, that has repeatedly shunned him (other people). I joked to my friends that it's an autistic power fantasy, and it actually sort of is. And in it, his identity is aligned with that of the monsters, while his anger manifests in a palpable dissociation from the rest of humanity. This is one manga page. It's brief. It's also very, very raw to me. I think about it often.
To conclude, I love Laios Dungeon Meshi. This portrayal of open frustration in an autistic character meant a lot to me, and I hope I've sufficiently outlined why. Also, feel free to recommend media with autistic representation in the notes if you've read this far—I would really like to see if there is more of this nature. Thank you for reading. I'm very tired and should probably sleep now.
