sometimes i wish the gay people in my phone were gay people in my house. where i could give them snacks and blankets and hear the sound of their laughter
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
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Not today Justin
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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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Love Begins
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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

if i look back, i am lost
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@nebscabinet
sometimes i wish the gay people in my phone were gay people in my house. where i could give them snacks and blankets and hear the sound of their laughter
i ended up liking how gendered french is solely because i can say that i want people to use he/him pronouns for me the same way they use it for angels, blood and blunts
i asked a trans friend to give me her fem version of this and she said that people should use she/her with her the same way they use it for the sea, flesh and stuffed toys
I don’t speak French but I speak Spanish and I’m nonbinary so the whole gendered language thing is… difficult. I couldn’t get this post out of my head and so I wrote a poem. It's a first draft but i just had to get it out there
It’s called “Masculino como el amor, femenino como la espada”
Si tienes que usar el masculino conmigo, usa el masculino cómo lo usas para el azúcar para el lobo el amor y el mar. Pero si tienes que usar el femenino, úsalo cómo lo usas para la tierra para la anaconda la guerra y la mar. Llámame masculino cómo el día cómo el melocotón el pecho y el cometa. O, llámame femenino cómo la noche cómo la piedra la leche y la mano. Masculino cómo el viento, femenino cómo la tormenta. El hueso, la sangre. El mito, la magia. El sol, la luna. Si tienes que usar el masculino conmigo, o si tienes que usar el femenino, llámame femenino con la boca y la lengua o llámame masculino con los dientes y los pulmones. O si puedes llámame por mi nombre. Llámame yo.
Translation: Masculine like love, feminine like the sword
If you have to use the masculine for me, use the masculine like you use it for sugar for the wolf love and the sea. But if you have to use the feminine, use it like you use it for earth for the anaconda war and the Sea. Call me masculine like the day like the peach the chest and the comet. Or, call me feminine like the night like the stone the milk and the hand. Masculine like the wind, feminine like the storm. The bone, the blood. The myth, the magic. The sun, the moon. If you have to use the masculine for me, or if you have to use the feminine, call me feminine with your mouth and your tongue or call me masculine with your teeth and your lungs. Or if you can call me by my name. Call me myself.
learning how to crochet was one of the best decisions ive ever made look at this snoopy bag i made
Soap: *quietly sketching during a meeting*
Gaz: *leans over and sees that Soap is drawing Ghost with hearts and stars surrounding him*
Gaz: Oh, do you like Lieutenant Riley?
Soap, tensing: What-?
Gaz: Oh? Did you not hear me? I ASKED IF YOU LIKE LIEUTENANT RILEY
Soap: SHHHH-
I ASKED IF YOU LIKE LIEUTENANT RILEY, SERGEANT JOHN MACTAVISH
"Eyes on me. Yeah. Good boy."
---
Thank you so much for trusting and sticking around.
Steve says thank you 💛
They really awake his bloodlust, uh
The virgin pit bull vs the chad Great Pyrenees
Listen. I grew up with these dogs. Im a cat person, no shame, but Great Pyrenees are hands down my most trusted domestic animal and are hardcore as fuck.
When I was a kid, between six and fifteen, one of our Pyrenees would escort me, off-leash, between my grandmother's house and mine. I'd just have to call him, and he'd show up and walk me there, placing himself between me and anything he considered threatening- Cranky farm animals, holes in the ground, bodies of water, etc.
That same dog found a (unfortunately deceased) lamb my grandfather had buried a few hours earlier, dug it up, realized it was cold and not breathing, and carefully carried it to our barn, where he covered it neck-deep in straw and tried to cuddle it warm again to bring it back to life.
One of our older dogs, at about sixteen years old (keep in mind, this breed tends to average out at about 12 years max) had arthritis in his hips, a bad back, and a respiratory issue, was fucking ancient and essentially palliative, but would still go stock-still out of nowhere, let out one subtle "boof", and then set out at an awkward-yet-speedy bunny-hop sprint at the slightest whiff of a cougar, bear, or wolf. Like, grampa would jump fences. Gentle geriatric giant would kick up to 7k to protect the family, never mind the three other, much younger dogs already on the case.
When I was a baby, like a literal in-diapers infant, he would lay on the ground and let me dress him up as a wizard and crawl all over him with zero complaint.
His nephew was 100lbs and often alarmed visitors who mistook him for a bear, yet never so much as bumped into a person in his life and feared only string and kittens.
a Great Pyrenees is not Balto. A Great Pyrenees is Robert McCall, John Wick, and John McClain wrapped in Marry Poppins and a snuggly Mr. Rogers wool sweater.
They are not only the best dog, but I would argue that they are also the MOST dog.
I will die by this
woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:
vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)
which is why more than 99% of what we call "vanilla extract" is actually vanillin (vanilla's dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.
luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.
why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.
vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.
then, if you're lucky, you get vanilla beans.
which then require months of further specialized treatment.
the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage
vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.
the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl--the precursor to modern hot chocolate!
it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!
which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s
Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today--launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.
today, the majority of the world's vanilla is grown in Madagascar
if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully--it's harder to find than you think!
in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!
(src)
Do you feel like colouring a bit?
My hobbies include being weird and then being like why did I say that
My hobbies include being weird and then being like why did I say that
Goncharov broke containment.
repeat after me:
crying is a HEALTHY release of emotion AND a great way to complete the stress cycle
it also grants you a tiger
Please please PLEASE watch this Christmas spot we got in Spain
[video description:
View of a town skyline at dusk in the winter, with the J&B Blended Scotch Whiskey logo superimposed on the picture. A flock of sheep walks from left to right, making baaa sounds, their bells jangling. Some Christmas lights with a star are strung along some telephone poles on the left side of the frame.
Cut to the inside of a house where an older man with white hair is sitting in an armchair reading a paper. His wife comes in and puts her handbag on the side table. She’s on the phone, and quickly moves into another room. A lipstick rolls out of the bag. The older man surreptitiously picks up the lipstick, then sneaks into the bathroom, locks the door, and attempts to apply the lipstick. He is not pleased with the results. He wipes off the lipstick and hides it in a small makeup bag on top of the bathroom mirror cabinet.
Elvis Costello’s song “She” begins to play when the wife walks in, and it plays throughout the video. The first line of the song is “She may be the face I can’t forget,” and as the video goes on we learn why this song is significant to the story being told by the ad.
The older man goes to a small store and buys more makeup. The female shopkeeper gives him an unfriendly glare when he pays for his purchase.
The old man looks at a magazine in his home. He tears out a page about makeup and goes back into the bathroom to experiment with the eyeshadow he bought earlier. He tries the lipstick again and adds some rouge. The result is better, but he’s not quite satisfied.
The man goes to a bus stop. Inside the bus shelter, he minutely examines the eye makeup on the model in an ad on the shelter wall. He jumps away from the ad when another man enters the shelter and sits down. The other man doesn’t seem to have noticed what the older man was doing.
Back in the bathroom, the man experiments with mascara. He likes the result. He puts the lipstick on again, and likes this too. Someone knocks on the door, so he hurriedly wipes off the makeup and hides the makeup bag again.
Scene cuts to the living room, where the man sits in his chair reading the newspaper. He looks over at some family photos. One of them shows the man with his arm around a teenager with short, dark hair.
Scene then cuts to the man’s bedroom. It’s nighttime, and he’s in bed with his sleeping wife. The man sneaks out of bed and back into the bathroom. He puts on all the kinds of makeup he bought: lipstick, rouge, mascara, eyeshadow. He looks at himself in the mirror, all made up, and smiles. Now he’s got it right.
The next day, the man is in his living room, where he hears a car honk outside. He goes and looks out the window. Outside is a group of people greeting each other in the driveway; they are an extended family, and apparently have just arrived at the older man’s house. One of the family members is a young man with short, dark hair. Text superimposed on the screen reads “Alvaro, 26 años,” indicating the name and age of the young man. The scene cuts back inside, where the older man comes away from the window, looking thoughtful.
The family sets the table for Christmas dinner, putting out plates and silverware and lighting candles. The older man goes to Alvaro and gestures with his head. “Come with me.” They go into the bathroom. The older man locks the door, then proceeds to put the makeup on Alvaro with much love and tenderness. The older man is happy with the way Alvaro looks. Alvaro is pleased, too.
Cut back to the dining room, where the rest of the family is laughing and talking together. Conversation suddenly stops and people look up, surprised. The grandfather ushers his grandchild out of the bathroom. She stands nervously in front of her family, her face beautifully done. The family pause, then start to smile. The camera goes close on a man with greying hair and beard. He seems overcome with happy emotion, and seems to be the grandchild’s father.
The camera goes back close on the grandchild, who looks shyly at her family. The name and age superimposed now read “Ana, 26 años.”
A woman with greying short hair stands up and goes to Ana. This apparently is Ana’s mom. She gives Ana a big hug. The mom is crying with happiness and love, and smiles at the grandfather through her tears. The grandfather blinks and seems shy but pleased.
The camera pulls back to show everyone at the table again. The grandfather is standing and leading a toast. Superimposed text reads “La magia no solo está en la Navidad. También está en nosotros.” (The magic isn’t only in Christmas. It’s also in us.)
A series of short close shots. Ana happily raises her glass with everyone else. The grandfather takes his wife’s hand and kisses it. Ana’s dad takes a sip of his whiskey, then Ana’s grandmother goes over and gives Ana a big hug.
There’s a brief shot of a bottle of J&B whiskey, which is on the table with the other dinner things, then the scene cuts to show the grandfather looking at Ana and raising his glass to her, smiling. Ana raises her glass to her grandfather and smiles at him.
Final shot is the J&B logo on a black background with the text “de celebrarnos” (to celebrate us).
/end description]
I cannot actually believe we now live in a world where a whisky company thinks it’s commercially viable to make this ad, and to make it about a grandfather who makes Christmas dinner with a family of very “ordinary looking people into a happy, loving affair, by doing this.
I do not know how to explain how fucking impossible that would have seemed to me twenty years ago when I just realized that possibly, maybe, I wasn’t straight. I cannot explain to you how amazing this is, and how beautiful it is.
This did not just happen, and yes there are people everywhere fighting to take it away but I cannot explain you the change in the overall culture of everything, everywhere that makes this possible.
always remember, friend,
now go in peace
This meme was inspired by the piece "Lucky 10,000" by Randall Monroe.
"Steve can't win a fight" is consistently funny but it's actually funnier when you realise he CAN but only against eldritch abominations from another world. Those are fine. Other teenage boys? Absolutely not.
here's the thing: it's one thing to know you're strong enough to kill a demogorgon. that is good easy knowledge. hit this hard, and the thing will drop dead.
so those are easy fights to win, if you're strong enough.
the challenge is when you're fighting not to kill, but you know you're strong enough to do so. how much do you have to hold back, to make sure you can both walk away from the fight?
steve could never live with the guilt, if he accidentally murdered another teenage boy (yes, even That One). so of course he doesn't win those fights. he's too scared of causing permanent damage, and he overcorrects too hard in the other direction.
Y'all ever experience Depression™️ and glue an entire pack of googly eyes to your vacuum robot?
That was not its final form, by the way
#biblically accurate roomba
#cleans everything everywhere all at once (via @kitelined)