The Whore Of Whoville @neekrobite - Tumblr Blog

16-14

kneads into your timeline because i'm sweet and cute and you allow me because you love me

16-14

does it faster when you aren't looking

unpeeled-human

stop telling me what not to draw. i do not care

bravelycowering

i had a vision

bacteriumphage

Is this what you guys mean by shipping discourse

saltiecattoz

byjove

ACTUALLY, MAD RESPECT HE WAS A MACHINE.

myteetharewhitewithsin

tiktoksforlosers

X

undeadhorse

wolf eggs. wolves lay eggs. i promise.

temporalreverie

@wolfgirltummy

WAAAAAAAUUUUUGH

baby iterator, that's exactly what I meant! I love this DMS skin sm...😭🤲

mod: can walk by EATING MEALS OR ELSE DEATH on steam, I saw this user here but I can't find them ><" I tried to give it 8 legs but it looked uh difficult and weird.. so let's assume that 4 is enough for a small can xD

huffylemon

triviallytrue

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

friendshapedhole

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

triviallytrue

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

max1461

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

triviallytrue

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

ghostpalmtechnique

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

triviallytrue

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

notwiselybuttoowell

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

chaumas-deactivated20240115

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

nightingalesoul

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

bermuda-n-drangle

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard