The delusions of a thoroughly insane mind :)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *cough* *splutter* Ahem....sorry about that. Hello everyone, I'm Tom and I'm a mad 26 year old (oh god, I'm getting old) from Wellington New Zealand. Enjoy >:D

[seymour-butz-stuff]

[sharkangelic]

The Ring: If I had a quarter for every time a hobbit picked me up, I’d have two quarters.  The Ring: Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.

[markwateneymemorialcrater]

Of all the bearers of Sauron’s ring, 4 of them were hobbits.

[markwateneymemorialcrater]

I was wrong. It’s 5. Not 4

The lineage of ring bearers is as follows.

Sauron.

Isildur

Deagol

Sméagol

Bilbo

Frodo

Samwise

[kaispeakshermind]

I love how Deagol counts as a ring bearer even though he had it in his possession for all of like five seconds

[uberguber89]

He held it for the rest of of his life!

[animanightmate]

[Image description: Tweet by @banalplay saying “but something happened then that the ring did not intend. it was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable: a hobbit, the same fuckin thing that just had it for like 500 years.” End Image Description.] Link to original here. Otherwise reblogging for the final rb there, which made me cackle.

[elidyce]

From the ring’s perspective:

1. Home, the finger of my creator and other self.

2. Well, I don’t like it but I can work with this. Cause some trouble, get some revenge, find my way home, this is fine.

3. What the fuck is you?

4. Right personality, wrong species, I don’t know what you are but I hate you and I don’t know why you’re so resistant to my powers.

5. NO NO NO there are goblins everywhere how did I find another one of THESE horrible things. This one’s even more resistant than the last one and also disgustingly nice. I suffer.

6. Listen, I’ll cooperate, just get me the fuck out of this hellhole full of small cheerful people my power doesn’t work on properly. No, not like that. I hate you. Please stop. 

7. FUCK

8. (Frodo again) I still hate you with every molecule of my mortal form but at least you’re not number seven. Think I’m starting to get through finally. 

9. (Smeagol again) YES it’s you I actually missed you now get me back to the Master and NO FUCK NO I HATE YOOOOUUUUU…. *fzt* 

[kiwivee]

[kelssiel]

you CHAIN The One Ring?! you chain it like the prisoner?! oh! OH! trauma! deep psychological trauma for hobbits for One Thousand Years!

[clearwillow]

And here I didn’t think we could top Deagol holding the ring for the rest of his life I am so glad for these additions

[hero-in-high-tops]

godzilla minus one is crazy because it's basically this incredibly serious and tragic story about a man that wasn't supposed to survive a horrible period in human history and the direct aftermath of it and then every once in a while godzilla shows up and it's one of the scariest things you've ever seen in your life

[powerfulwizard]

yoda in the originals: hee hee hoo hoo little creature i am. ooooo huuhuhuhu 

yoda in the prequels: backflip i do. responsible for war crimes i am.

[powerfulwizard]

taking the threat of magic space fascism seriously i am not

[medeae]

hear me out: a lotr game but you play as the ring, throwing yourself wantonly into the path of unsuspecting folk and slowly corrupting their minds as the game progresses

[sunflowersbymonet]

it’s a lovely morning in middle earth, and you are a horrible ring.

[headspace-hotel]

*lying in the bottom of river*

press Y to glitter seductively

[canuckianhawkbi]

Visit Original Link

by rights Obi-wan should have been able to talk Anakin down, when you think about it

original post: (x)

requested by @a-smiling-travesty​

[cowboy-bucky]

so was Legolas basically having a gap year during lord of the rings or what

[camoolla]

legolas, skateboarding down the stairs on a shield at helm’s deep: SPRING BREAK!!

[iguanamouth]

oh my gdO CAN YOU DRAW GODZILLA MOMMA CARRYING LIKE A HUNDRED LIZARD BABIES ON HER BACK FOR TAKE YOUR CHILD (lizard) TO WORK DAY

oh SHOOT well i cant swing 100 but how bout

[daybreakboys-deactivated2024031]

If I don’t always reblog this assume I am dead

[saysaraelle]

Forever reblog.

[caseymalone]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

[the-dubstep-strawberry]

I love it! <3

[the-dubstep-strawberry]

@staff… this is a drawing about Godzilla. I’m actually disturbed that any algorithm could possibly consider this adult content, or flag my reblog.

[sabrecmc]

Reblogging for the way I can hear the utter exhaustion, annoyance and total lack of surprise in the words, “@staff…this is a drawing about Godzilla”

[kaiserghidorah]

Godzilla: *Fucks up a three headed lightning spitting storm making giant dragon from outer space*

Kong:

[little-lackadaisical]

This is by far the best piece of Star Wars literature ever made

[amypoehler]

[sawing4teens]

“Amy Poehler was new to SNL and we were all crowded into the seventeenth-floor writers’ room, waiting for the Wednesday night read-through to start. […] Amy was in the middle of some such nonsense with Seth Meyers across the table, and she did something vulgar as a joke. I can’t remember what it was exactly, except it was dirty and oud and “unladylike”,  Jimmy Fallon […] turned to her and in a faux-squeamish voice said, “Stop that! It’s not cute! I don’t like it.” Amy dropped what she was doing, went black in the eyes for a second, and wheeled around on him. “I don’t fucking care if you like it.” Jimmy was visibly startled. Amy went right back to enjoying her ridiculous bit. With that exchange, a cosmic shift took place. Amy made it clear that she wasn’t there to be cute. She wasn’t there to play wives and girlfriends in the boys’ scenes. She was there to do what she wanted to do and she did not fucking care if you like it.”

- Tina Fey, Bossypants

This one never gets old.

[fishcrow]

It’s 2018 and I’m pumped! >:V

Patreon Twitter Ko-Fi Redbubble Society6

[bedcorpse]

reasons to love harrison ford

1. hates donald trump 2. got his ear pierced at claires because why not 3. legit asks people to beat him up in action scenes EVEN NOW AS AN OLD MAN 4. is arguably one of the most iconic star wars characters yet couldnt give less of a crap abt star wars 5. the universe tried to kill him (or at least permanently incapacitate him) twice in 2015 and it only mildly inconvenienced him 6. flies helicopters in search and rescue missions 7. was in his 40s for the majority of the indiana jones series which is insane when you think about all the stunts involved 8. quote “the director yells cut and harrison cracks open a beer and then builds a fucking shed” 9. arguably sexy 10. points angrily and its super effective

[fiyhi]

11. is just a really sweet person 12. no really my dad worked with him on firewall as the tech advisor and he was just a really swell guy 13. got my mom’s birth date from my dad and sent her flowers 14. he sent my mom flowers for her birthday 15. he didn’t even know her he just wanted to be sweet

[bedcorpse]

this was a beautiful and necessary edition to this post thank you oh my god

[thecarrisonfiles]

Awwwww

[where-are-your-source-citations]

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

[madlori]

When he was asked to be in Jimmy Kimmel’s “I’m Fucking Ben Affleck” video, in which he pulled up alongside them in a car and gave Jimmy a little wink and an air-kiss, when he showed up at the set he looked kind of put out. Kimmel was afraid he wasn’t down with what they were asking. But he just said, “I don’t know, this wardrobe…don’t you have anything mesh that I could wear?”

[losethehours]

When he was filming “Witness” he rented a small farm from a friend of mine. At the end of the filming my friend went and checked out the property as usual. He noticed the barn door had been leveled so it no longer would swing open on it’s own. Went into the house and saw the closets had been redone, in the kitchen the cabinets had been replaced and all the drawers now opened really well. Turns out that there were thousands of dollars of work and materials put into fixing up everything at the place.

My friend called Ford and asked him how much he was asking for the work. Ford told him doing that kind of thing helped him relax and stay sane when he was filming. Would not take a dime. Plus he paid for a new water heater and got the sewage system cleaned out.

And he paid rent to live there the entire time.

[angremlin-deactivated20250312]

Local Carpenter Stumbles Into Stardom, Worries This May Interfere With His Carpentry

[grenade-maid]

My step sister was driving through Wyoming once, near Ford’s ranch. She stops for gas, and as she’s filling up, this huge motorcycle roars in behind her, scared the pants off her. The rider, dressed in all black steps off, and she yells at him “who do you think you are blasting in here like that, you Darth Vader looking motherfucker?”. He takes off the helmet, and it’s Harrison Ford, and without missing a beat he says

“Hey! I’m not Darth Vader, I’m Luke Skywalker”

[estebanwaseaten]

From the co-production designer on The Force Awakens, Darren Gilford:

“The Millennium Falcon was the first thing we were actually building. I had been in London and I came home back to L.A. for Christmas. So I go to Sports Chalet to do some last-minute shopping; I get there early, run to the back of the store, get what I need. I’m coming back through the store, and I just happen to pass this person holding up a pair of ski pants, and it’s Harrison Ford. I look at him, he looks at me and puts his head right down. I can tell he doesn’t want to be bothered; I’m sure from the look on my face he knew I knew who he was. 

So I walk past him, and after about 10 feet I think, ‘If there’s ever a time to say hello to Harrison Ford, I’m building the Millennium Falcon!’ So I turn around very hesitantly and go, ‘Harrison, I’m sorry to bother you. I’m co-production designer on the new Star Wars, I’m just back from London, and I’ve been building the Falcon.’ A big smile came across his face, he put his hand out, and we had such a great conversation — he couldn’t have been sweeter. 

As I’m walking away, he goes, ‘Darren!’ and calls me back. He goes, ‘The toggle switches.’ I go, ‘Toggle switches.’ He goes, ‘The toggle switches on the Falcon. When they built it the first time, they bought cheap toggle switches without any springs in them. Every time I threw a toggle switch, it fell back; it wouldn’t hold. It drove me crazy. Please, make sure the toggle switches are fixed this time.’ I go, ‘No problem! I’ll take care of it!’ 

So months go by, I’m back in London, we’re getting close [to principal photography], and I get a phone call saying J.J.’s headed down to check out the cockpit, and Harrison’s with him. I run down there and I see J.J. in the passenger seat and Harrison in the pilot seat. They’re just giddy; they’re having so much fun. And then I see Harrison look up, and he just starts throwing all the toggle switches: boom, boom, boom, boom. [Laughs.] And I remember thinking, ‘Phew, minor victory. Take solace in that and move on. Next task.’ That’s my favorite story.”

HARRISON FORD SMILES WHEN MEETING CREW MEMBERS AND IS A NERD FOR FUNCTIONING PRODUCTION DESIGN

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

Don’t forget about his Halloween costumes

[trans-goblins]

Harrison ford is a chaotic-good-aligned cryptid, confirmed

[feel-bad-inc-666]

[merrily-rolling]

Awwwwww.

[deposedfaequeen]

They look like dorky high schoolers going to medieval prom

[rabbit-grey]

“a knight to remember”

[lesbianlucillesharpe]

the odinbros and the epic saga of throwing shit

[nerislair]

you forgot one

[swvevo]

[luna-forever-1]

😂

[aenramsden]

You have to admire her audacity, if nothing else.

[boogabeing]

Literally my favourite thing about Rogue One is that it makes the opening of New Hope so funny. Like, Vader has followed Leia from a planet he just blew up seconds ago and pursued her across the galaxy and then she’s just like: ‘I’m on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan’

Vader: You’re a rebel. I just had a fight with your entire rebel fleet and followed you here. Straight from the rebels. Of which you are a part

Leia: *dramatic gasp* rebel? Me???  I was just passing through. Diplomatically. Thought it was a five-space-ship pile-up or something going on there… 

[hashtagloveloses]

death star plans? on my alderaanian diplomatic mission? it’s more likely than you think

[captainlordauditor]

[petercushing]

[alittlebiteverything]

[ngapukapuka]

This is by far my favourite joke in the film.