[mishacakes]

Finally! Here’s my contribution to the Valor Anthology, “Bride of the Rose Beast”. Valor is a book I’m still so happy and honored to be a part of, and you can still get the 300+ page ebook HERE for $5! Enjoy!

[ryebreadgf]

yall with your ugly celeb man crushes

[bramblepatch]

This is a powerful child.

[loving-n0t-heyting]

If you are the child of wealthy parents, this does not make you rich: it makes you a possible client of wealthy patrons

I have encountered children of rich parents denied tuition funding bc they came out as gay. I have encountered children of rich parents forced into psychiatric confinement begging their parents on the phone every night to please let them leave. I have encountered children of rich parents accustomed to living a life of luxury, cut out of their family’s wills for their disobedient attitude, and left unsure how to live an ordinary life bc nobody taught them. I have encountered children of fabulously affluent and abusive parents who can effectively buy off judges and pay to have them hunted down if they run from home. If you don’t have discretion over your money, it is not yours; and if your “wealthy” lifestyle is subsidised with strings attached (which it always is), you are not wealthy yourself

[elprupneerg]

Financial abuse is a real thing, and people should seriously look it up. I’ve seen people whose parents refused to fill out FAFSA forms so then they couldn’t get student loans to get an education away from their family. And people whose parents “expected contribution” was more than tuition so they got nothing, meanwhile they’re about to be kicked out of the house and off health insurance. I’ve heard stories of people who went into fields they absolutely hated because otherwise their families would cut them off, and people who avoided getting necessary medical care because while yes their parents insurance would cover it, it would mean being forced to live exactly the way their parents wanted them to (not being openly queer, not studying the things they want or living the places they want, not being able to escape). And while not all of them would count as Rich™️, they’re certainly in comfortable situations, enough so that they could absolutely destroy their children’s lives

[noping-out-deactivated20241117]

I know at least two survivors of childhood SA that were continually controlled by their abusers well into adulthood through money. One was also institutionalized as a child despite being obviously an abuse victim because when your parents are rich they can just do that.

Another friend managed to get a criminal investigation opened against their childhood abuser who had a conservatorship over them and then it just… vanished. Their abuser paid off the police to make it go away. They had to flee across country, go into hiding and fight a multi-year legal battle to get out of the conservatorship.

This is what happens to the children of rich people.

[ilikemarthajones]

Tip for my German followers: Wenn eure Eltern euch beim Studium nicht finanzieren wollen, und euer Verhältnis kann sich sowieso nicht verschlechtern, dann schildert euren Fall dem Bafög-Amt und lasst euch Bafög vorschießen. Das Bafög-Amt holt sich das Geld dann von euren Eltern zurück mit ner Klage.

[crpl-pnk]

ok very funny guys. you got me. now seriously who left all these neurotypicals in charge of the mental health field

[eurekapix]

who left all these healthy doctors in charge of the hospital

is literally what this sounds like

[agentelderofshield]

God, can you imagine how awful that would be? People with amputations consulting on things like prosthesis?

People in wheelchairs designing living and working spaces for people with mobility issues?

Autistic people actually trying to help other autistic people?

OMG, just thing – wouldn’t ti be awful if people who are now in remission actually helped manage the pain and other symptoms that come with having and treating cancer?

I mean seriously, what on Earth do any of those people really have to add to the discussion? What could they possibly know that an able-bodied neurotypical wouldn’t already know? I mean, experience doesn’t teach all that much!

/end sarcasm.

[noping-out-deactivated20241117]

[jenroses]

My care for EDS got radically better when my doctor’s kid was diagnosed. 

[goosewithajob]

Dr. Marsha M. Linehan more or less reinvented the field of behavioral therapy after spending years being treated to the worst 1950-60s psychiatry had to offer. She created the system now known as Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, now considered one of the most effective treatments for suicidal and self-destructive behaviors, as well as pretty much any other form of mental illness or mood/behavior disorders. She was able to do all of this BECAUSE she’s self-diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, not in spite of it.

[lanthir]

The only therapist, out of the many I have seen over the past 30 years, to succesfuly treat my anxiety?  The one who had anxiety herself.  Not a coincidence.  

[star-anise]

Doctors with Disabilities Are Changing the System

[mara-smith]

My home will be a home with no loud anger, no explosive rage, no slamming doors or breaking glass, no name calling, shaming or blackmail. My home will be gentle, it will be warm. It will keep my loved ones safe. No fear, no hurt and no worries.

[comingoutofthecauldron]

stop telling your teenage daughters who say they don't want kids that they'll change their mind

[weirdqueeraltkid-deactivated202]

reblog the shit outta this

[morriganwarrior]

I haven't been a teenager in over a decade. Mind has yet to change on the subject.

At 14, I told my guidance counselor that I didn't want kids. He chuckled, patted me on the back, and informed me that when I got a little older, and I was with a guy, I would change my mind.

At 16, my grandmother nearly had a heart attack because of her three granddaughters, myself and the youngest agreed we didn't want to uave babies. Ever.

At 17, my father asked about my life plan. I told him: graduate high school, get my college degree, do some traveling and writing, go for this particular job I wanted, retired around X age, take month-long vacations to places I wanted to spend time in, etc. He asked, "What about a husband? Children? Normal things a girl is supposed to think about?" My response- a husband if a man came along that could share an adventure with me, kids were a No Go. He assured me I would 'grow up' qnd change my mind.

At 19, I shocked my former babysitter who had known me since I was a toddler, when I confirmed the rumour she'd heard that I didn't want kids. She patted my mom's arm and reassured her in a sweet voice that, "Don't worry, girls say a lot of silly things before they meet the right fella, and wise up. She'll give you grand babies"

At 22, I was talking to a college professor who chuckled at my making a comment about how, "thank goodness I'm never going to have to worry about juggling child rearing eith marriage, work, and life", then she realized I was serious. She asked if I was alright, thinking I could-not (not didn't-want) kids. I told her the truth, could have but didn't want to. She was aghast, then told me that I'd change my mind when my husband wanted some kids.

Well, I'm over 30, still have absolutely no desire to give birth, adopt, raise, or have much of anything to do with children. I don't hate children, I don't think people who have them are crazy (more power to you, to create and/or care for another person), and I don't think it's impossible to have a life AND have children. I recognized at an early age that I don't have that biological imperative to procreate, I don't have the patience to deal with children (something that has shown very little improvement as I've gotten older, in fact it might be getting worse), and I don't feel my life is incomplete without creating another life- I am good with living my own and doing my best to enrich the lives of those I care about (I try my best to be a good friend, to be a good sister, good daughter, good pet-owner, and a good person in general).

So please, please stop telling girls (or really kids at all, but especially girls) that they will change their minds. Please don't tell them that meeting 'the right guy' will make them suddenly feel broody, that their potential future husband's desire to have children will make her reconsider and see things his way. For one, a couple should have had that conversation and decided if it was a deal breaker, LONG before they got hitched. For another, it's her body that gets to grow and birth another human being- her husband's desire to be a father doesn't supercede her autonomy.

Please, let girls make their own choices? Girls are forced to mature too fast as it is and are bombarded from all sides with SHOULD (you SHOULD be a size 2, you SHOULD wear this dress, you SHOULD have a boyfriend to be a normal teen, you SHOULD always smile), they don't need another judgement from someone who hasn't walked a mile in their particular shoes. Respect teenage girls and their ability to look at the world, themselves, their situation, and their future, and make an important choice.

*gets off soap box, slides it back under the sofa, lets out a sigh*

Thanks for attending my TED talk. G'night.

[thebibliosphere]

I had a lot of very similar experiences above, and everyone was so happy when I met my husband because he’s good with kids and was clearly the right guy for me. Except what they didn’t bank on was that one of the things that made him the right guy for me, was that he also doesn’t want children. Shocker.

Of course, now I’m disabled and we know it’s genetic, lots of folks support us being child free. But that’s a whole other can of ableist worms I don’t have the mental energy or time to unpack. Mostly I’m just glad that after 30 years of being told I’ll change my mind someday, I’m finally being left the fuck alone.

[natcat5]

I hope this isn't an unwelcome comment, but i think it's also fine to tell teenage girls that there's a difference between wanting children and getting hit by that pesky "biological imperative".

Like three of the age 20-something cis girls in my friendgroup got hit with very vivid pregnancy and birth dreams in the same year. only one of those girls actually wants kids.

I, myself, keep having nutso bonkers pregnancy dreams. And I realized that this is what my mother meant when she said 'when you reach a certain age, you'll change your mind about having kids'. Stupid brain running propaganda reels. But my mother is not correct! The dreams have not changed my stance. I'm not sure if I want kids, but I am sure that me having children is going to be completely dependent on whether or not I am 100% mentally, emotionally, and financially onboard with the idea. Not on my brain playing tricks.

Not every cis girl is going to get hit with that awful, wretched, "biological imperative", but I don't think it's wrong to lay it out honestly, and tell teenage girls, yes, your body might start to try and trick you into thinking you want babies as you hit a certain age, but that doesn't have any actual impact on what you, yourself, actually want.

[beachdeath]

[emtmercy]

ICONIC

[sarahviahhday]

I was gonna put this in my queue but tbh I think it’s more relevant right now.

[cluegrrl]

Yeah.

[grocerystore-gf]

George O’Malley , an icon

[scretladyspider]

I mean

[furbearingbrick]

adhd is stored in the ass

[sunlitkoi]

the a in adhd stands for ass

[moonybyte]

What do the other letters stand for then?

[commodorecliche]

Ass Don't Have Dopamine

[arsonistblue]

I’m sorry Mrs. Teacher, I’m trying to focus but I’m 

dummy thicc

and the clap of my a(dhd)sscheeks keeps distracting my brain 

[notabletochoose89]

@stormy-blue-skies I'm dying 😂

[eugthinks]

I made a chart.

[mioxenoblade]

“fuck” I think properly describes it

[staxilicious]

The trifecta

[digitaldiscipline]

The Trifuckta

[tapacamino]

The unholy trinity

[todaysbird]

this oddly silver-colored hooded crow was photographed wild in russia. often described as ‘dilute’, this crow’s color mutations falls under the blanket term of leucism - leucism is a partial lack of pigmentation, but not the full loss of pigmentation seen in true albinism.

[elodieunderglass]

Hat tip to @sweetlyfez look at this tasteful greyscale goth

[the-autisticats]

What’s Visual Snow Syndrome (VSS), and why do so many autistic people have it?

I learned about this the other day, when I posted about palinopsia (visual trailing/afterimages) being common in autistic people, and a couple of our followers told me about their VSS. I did some more research, and discovered that I also have it.

Visual Snow Syndrome is a neurological condition that interferes with visual processing. It’s caused by hyperactivity and hyper-excitability of nerves in certain areas of the brain that process visual information.

The core feature of VSS is constantly seeing tiny, fuzzy “feedback” in the environment. It’s kind of like seeing the world through a staticky TV screen. Some people’s visual static is larger than others. Mine is relatively fine-grained, but it gets bigger and more obvious in low lighting.

Some of the other symptoms of VSS include:

Palinopsia (visual trailing/afterimages)

Photophobia (sensitivity to light)

Increased and enhanced ectopic phenomenon, such as floaters, phosphenes, and Scheerer’s phenomenon

Seeing glare, starbursts, and halos around lights

Difficulty seeing at night/in the dark

Seeing random flashes of light and/or color, without cause from the environment

It’s common for people with VSS to experience comorbid migraines, but VSS is not the same thing as migraine aura.

So, why do autistic people often have VSS?

It comes down to the fact that VSS is caused by the hyper-excitability of neurons in areas of the brain that process visual information. A core feature of autism is hyper-excitable neurons, especially in areas of the brain that have to do with sensory processing. So it makes sense that autism would often inadvertently cause VSS.

Here are some illustrations of visual phenomenon that VSS causes, in case you want a better understanding of what the world looks like for me and many other autistic people.

Visual snow/static:

Palinopsia/image trailing:

Scheerer’s Phenomenon (tiny bright moving dots):

Starbursts around lights:

Floaters:

I hope y’all have learned something :)

I’ve found it very intriguing to realize that the way I see the world is more unique than I once knew!

~Eden🐢

[jazzybot4]

Um.

[eimearkuopio]

"oh, I definitely don't have that part of it" she says until she scrolls down and finds out the world doesn't look like that to everyone. (I don't have the image trailing, and I'm not sure about the one below it, but all the others yes)

[tehnakki]

I was recently diagnosed with BVD but I didn't realize all these other visual effects were connected to adhd (also recently diagnosed).

[thebibliosphere]

wHAT

[notabletochoose89]

What do you mean that is not normal? 😳😂 I thought this is just the way it is.......

[thatgirlwithadhd]

Visual Texture & Neurodivergent Cleaning

(Not to be dramatic or anything but this realization changed my life.)

I always had a messy room growing up. So messy, you could rarely even see the floor. “Just clean up!” people would say. “Think about how nice you’ll feel when it’s clean!”

Every once in a while I’d go on a hyperfocus-driven cleaning spree and the room would be spotless. The floor, dresser tops, and bedside tables would all be completely clear.

“See!” people (and by people I mean family) would say. “Look how clean it is! Doesn’t that feel amazing?”

No. It didn’t!

And then I would have a massive anxiety attack and had to make several stacks of clutter next to my bed before I could sleep that night.

We joked that I couldn’t handle clean space, but I finally figured it out. It wasn’t clean space I couldn’t handle. It was empty space. It’s not that I need mess. I need visual texture. Mess was always just the easiest way to get it.

Recently I moved out, and I used the chance to reset. I did something dramatically different: I added tons of visual texture to my room without mess.

It worked!!!

My room has been clean 95% of the time since moving in, and it doesn’t stress me out! In fact, it’s my sanctuary. I believe this has something to do with a need for visual stimulation and for feeling safely contained, both ND traits imho.

So here’s the Official Guide to Decorating with Visual Texture (and if y’all think of any more ideas, please add on):

Bedspread and/or sheets with wild patterns & colors

Patterned throw blankets

Lots of art/posters/photos on the walls

Vivid colored walls (you know how white/light walls are said to “open up” a room? Yeah that’s too bare for me. My bedroom walls are bright orange and it’s the coziest, most relaxing wall color I’ve ever had)

Full bookshelves (full of books, figurines, art, etc)

Rugs/mats (I use a patterned yoga mat)

PLANTS!!! (this is my favorite! I have so many plants now)

Bonus: a weighted blanket and multiple lighting options that are not directly overhead (they don’t necessarily add visual texture, but they’ve been universally appreciated by every ND person I’ve met)

[solassitudes]

my singing voice is good for showers and mornings in the kitchen and drunken nights and lullabies for babies who need sleep and im okay with this

[solassitudes]

i think it’s silly to be ashamed of your art because it’s not in a museum and of your voice because it’s not selling out stadiums. there will always be people who enjoy and appreciate what you can do.

[rosesastrology]

Idk why but this hit me really hard and I’ve been staring at it for a couple minutes.

[ethuil]

[fomysquad]

[lumberjackloverboy-moved]

why do grooms get one boring black jacket and brides get the most jawdropping gowns ever like when i get married i want pearls and lace and a train is that too much to ask??

[rebellum]

Hnn could you imagine.. a suit embroidered with baroque pearls… a LACE CAPE gently floating behind the groom… a fuckin sword..

[lumberjackloverboy-moved]

oh my god…. your m i n d…. the wedding industry is quaking 

[keltik]

Meanwhile in Scotland…

[moonybyte]

YO, there are SO MANY great groom outfits around the world where he is dressed all in silk, lace, gold, pearls and glitter, with capes and scarves, hats and stitchery and I find it so sad that most of these countries switch over to “suit”. Like, look at these handsome boys!

India

Sudan

China (traditional)

Nigeria

Indonesia

Mongolia

Ghana

Ethiopia

Poland

Romania

Russia (1)

Russia (2)

[ratherinterestingmilkshake]

*shakes fist at sky*

damn you western marriage culture

[kreature-ofthenight]

may I add

Norway

japan 

japan the hard core traditional wedding costume

Turkey

Hungary

Navajo

maori (new zealand)

Fiji

Tonga

[fatherharlot]

Here are some gay wedding additions:

India

India-Pakistan

South Africa

Thailand

Japan

Georgia

[apassionateempress]

This last addition to this ^^^ is my genuinely my most favorite part!

[randomrav3ns]

I rb’d a different version of this and added other cultures (including that Georgian one – which, ftr, notes that these guys are Georgians in America, because if they’d worn those clothes [chokha] in Georgia as openly gay men having a gay wedding, there’s a not-insignificant chance they would’ve gotten killed, since gay men aren’t considered “real men” and only “real men” are deemed worthy of wearing chokha. Which I think is contextual information worth sharing here – that this isn’t just beautiful cultural garb but also a very deliberate act of defiance and pride using that clothing in the face of the intensely hypermasculine, homophobic culture it comes from).

Rb’ing this alternative version just because I love the inclusion of some of the other same-gender weddings.

[vrabia]

[rainbowravioli]

Sorry to say, but they do the exact same thing for humans too.

[rainbowravioli]

It’s amazing how people in the notes and comments are absolutely FURIOUS at me for the included Frozen comparison. Special shout out to everyone trying to prove that real people look like this.

[penismadnessgirl]

Not to mention that when people edit these characters to have better facial proportions, the originals look like bizarre fish people.

[simonalkenmayer]

How humans draw themselves is always fascinating to me

[rose-in-the-cosmos]

op why are you speaking like you aren’t human i’m scared

[simonalkenmayer]

Eh…perhaps read my blog description.

[61below]

[rottingfacade]

[helloitsbees]

this post has EVERYTHING

[moth-doe]

I think I know the reason for why people prefer “unrealistic” animation.

For some reason, humans really don’t like things that look like humans but aren’t quite human. Hence why a lot of people are uncomfortable with movies with animation like Monster House and The Polar Express. It looks too realistic to us and sets us off.

Scientists call this the “Uncanny Valley” effect and its thought to be an evolutionary tactic for survival.

The funny part is. No other animals that we know of experience the uncanny valley effect. Only humans. Which leaves the question: what was out there that mimicked humans so well and was so dangerous to us that we evolved to have this as a tactic for survival?

[sexy-necromancing-bird]

Oh hell yeah this is what I’m here for

[niuniente]

Which leaves the question: what was out there that mimicked humans so well and was so dangerous to us that we evolved to have this as a tactic for survival? 

@hitodama89

[athelind]

Okay, I’ve seen this thread a dozen times before, but not with this addendum.

[vrabia]

i made the original post in the throes of unmedicated depression because that’s where my sense of humor was at the time. i don’t check my activity page. seeing it barge onto my dash months later with +250k notes and this exchange attached to it like a bunch of rattling tin cans attached to the tail of a rabid dog running loose is fucking WILD

[cluster-fandom]

So sometime after whenever humans developed the uncanny valley effect, did we just hunt this mysterious predator to extinction? Or did it die out on it’s own? Or did it evolve as well into something… else? Could it still be living on Earth today?

[aberrantemotion]

Idk why dont we ask the “people eating cryptid” who claims to be from a species that’s easy to hide and apparently passes as human who’s like, 3 reblogs above this?

[princesshamlet-deactivated20210]

[fuckingconversations]

Hey fun fact;

Back when Homo sapiens weren’t the end-all of hominids, we also had some other two legged “humanish” cousins like the Neanderthals, Denisovians, and more!

There were nine different species of “humans”

By 10,000 years ago, they were all gone. The disappearance of these other species resembles a mass extinction. But there’s no obvious environmental catastrophe – volcanic eruptions, climate change, asteroid impact – driving it.

Instead, the extinctions’ timing suggests they were caused by the spread of a new species, evolving 260,000-350,000 years ago in Southern Africa: Homo sapiens.

Neanderthal skeletons show patterns of trauma consistent with warfare.

Like language or tool use, a capacity for and tendency to engage in genocide is arguably an intrinsic, instinctive part of human nature.

Optimists have painted early hunter-gatherers as peaceful, noble savages, and have argued that our culture, not our nature, creates violence. But field studies, historical accounts, and archaeology all show that war in primitive cultures was intense, pervasive and lethal.

Basically: the reason we as Homo Sapians find other human-ish figures unsettling and have an instinctual fear/aggression response called “The Uncanny Valley” is because we literally TOOK OVER THE WORLD by hunting down and killing every other hominid on the planet.

Dunno if the “9 species of hominid genocide” was a result of uncanny valley or the cause of it, but it’s a pretty sure bet to guess they’re linked.

Read more about it here :)

[isaacsapphire]

This is a wonderful post.

[neko-mancy]

did everyone just ignore the human eating cryptid appearing halfway through the post

[abcsofadhd]

(Source: me)

[whenstarsfall]

holy shit. im finally understood. this feels very lovely in a very heartbreaking way.

[naamahdarling]

I have baffled a couple of people by telling them that sleep is boring.

Yes.

Yes, I can be bored while asleep.