Ode To SVT

Incorrect quotes, memes, OC writing, and wallpapers.

[odeto-svt]

Moonbyul: Friends are like boobs.

Moonbyul: You’ve got small ones, big ones, real ones, and fake ones.

[odeto-svt]

Hitman: Do you have a picture of who I need to get rid of?

Dino, handing him a picture: here you go

Hitman: ...

Dino: ...

Hitman: T-this is you

Dino: Yeah Jeonghan wants me to call myself his baby again so I figured death was my only way out.

[odeto-svt]

Hoshi, trying to escape the hospital: you call it a near death experience, I call it a vibe check from god.

Woozi: you ate seven tide pods because Seungkwan said you wouldn’t.

Hoshi, nodding sagely: one for each sin

[odeto-svt]

Police: 119, what’s your emergency?

Woozi: A monster broke into my studio.

Hoshi, emerging from across the room: I’m just here to ask if you want foo-

Woozi, screaming: it found me!

[odeto-svt]

Taeyong, frusterated with writing and starts hitting his pen against the table: Why isn’t this working?

Jaehyun: Hey that’s not nice. Would you like it if I banged you on the table?

Taeyong: ...

Taeyong: I don’t know what the correct answer to that question is.

[odeto-svt]

Ten: This is my ex-boyfriend.

Johnny: You really have to stop introducing me like this.

Johnny: I’m his husband.

[odeto-svt]

Ten: Would you be disappointed if I -

Kun: Yes

Ten: I didn’t even finish the question.

Kun: No need to, I’m always disappointed in you.

[what-if-nct]

Taemin: *takes shirt off*

Baekhyun: *takes shirt off*

Kai: *Takes shirt off*

Taeyong: *Takes shirt off*

Ten: *takes shirt off*

Lucas: *takes shirt off*

Mark: *puts giant coats on them all* Wait until I tell my bible school teacher about this.

[odeto-svt]

Taeyong, watching as Chenle lights the kitchen on fire, Yuta surfs down the stairs, YangYang fries. To recreate the Lion King with Leon, Ten teaching the rest of the Dreamies how to twerk, and just general chaos: I’m so sleepy of this shit

[odeto-svt]

Sicheng: Renjun’s at that age when a young boy has only one thing on his mind.

Taeyong: Girls?

Sicheng, watching as Renjun races after Donghyuck with a knife with a fond smile: Homicide.

[odeto-svt]

Taeyong: I may be sad but I always make the effort to look like a bad bitch.

Doyoung: I’m just a bitch

[odeto-svt]

“If I’m not exactly like Makoto Tachibana by the end of this, I’m going to sue.”

- Yuta at a swim lesson

[odeto-svt]

“You can’t be a hoe if Jesus says no.”

- Honestly probably Jeno

[odeto-svt]

Mark: My doctor describes my diet as ‘concerning’ but I don’t see the issue.

Taeyong: What is your diet?

Mark, downing a trenti nitro brew: Three Ibuprofen every hour and black coffee

Taeyong: Mark no -

[odeto-svt]

NCT as things my friends have said

Taeil: “No we are not going down to the beach, drawing dicks, and running.”

Johnny: “Hot Korean Daddy.”

Taeyong: “Jesus needs to hit you over the head with a table.”

Yuta: “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s an obsessive bitch and you should probably tie her up and throw her in the ocean. Let the waves carry her away.”

Kun: “Fine, I’ll just sit in my coffin!”

Doyoung: “If they don’t have an asshole, tear them a new one.”

Ten: “I have a tramp stamp that says “Enter here.”

Jaehyun: “All I heard was curb stomp my neck.”

WinWin: “You’re like a cheese stick. Everyone loves you.”

Jungwoo: “I don’t know what you said. I know it was something something sausage though.”

Lucas: “Wait, grapes have leaves? Or do leaves have grapes?”

Mark: “If you cook mayonnaise enough, does it become scrambled eggs?”

Xiaojun: “I only sneeze in Coldplay lyrics guys.”

Hendery: “I didn’t know you had a minecraft kink.”

Renjun: “Save money, live better, get stoners.”

Jeno: “The only thing I can think of that ryhmes with ID is furry.”

Haechan: “I thought you’d like it since you enjoy seeing pain inflicted upon others.”

Jaemin: “I don’t want to be a chicken I don’t want to be a duck so I’ll be a slut.”

YangYang: “Ah yes, the thumb. The holder of all braincells.”

Chenle: “What does vision have to do with reading?”

Jisung: “I sounded like Mickey Mouse before my balls dropped.”

[odeto-svt]

BM: You gotta keep your eyes on the prize. And the prize is my nipples.

[odeto-svt]

Renjun searching something online: how to kiss someone taller than you.

Results:

☞ Ask them to lean down

☞ Jump into your partner’s arms

☞ Stand on your tiptoes.

☞ Break their kneecaps.

Renjun, grabbing a baseball bat: I guess I have no choice then.