Hi! I'm restarting my lil-llewellyn (and enter-dr-frog) blog, as it's been deleted by tumblr. I'm Alice and I enjoy everything Mischief! Profile pic is an art by the incredibly delightful @ju-nebugg
In Irish, “December” is “Mí na Nollag” which is literally “The Month of Christmas” so I feel completely culturally justified in treating today like the beginning of one long holiday, honestly.
In scottish gaelic its ‘an Dubhlachd’ which effectively means the blackness and i feel like this is one of the fundamental differences between irish and scottish gaelic.
things about middle-earth that sound fake to people who haven't read the silmarillion
the earth was flat until some people pissed off god enough that he punched it round
the sun and moon used to be trees, but a big spider ate them
elves even being in middle-earth can be traced back to one (1) dude hating that people mispronounced his mom's name
sauron is a werewolf
elrond's biological parents are a star and a bird now
there's a sexy vampire lady
fighting a balrog barehanded is so cool it'll get you reincarnated right away even if there isn't a current big crisis going on (sorry gandalf, glorfindel just did it better)
satan got banned from heaven for playing his own music too loud
if you were intense enough in life, when you die, you might literally explode
Season three at camp half blood after they get Annabeth back
Annabeth: (office style interview) Everyone is being super weird lately. I mean I know not everyone likes Percy but there is a really weird tension in the air. And everyone keeps staring at me. I mean I know people thought I died but I’m fine. Mostly. And Percy has been staring at me a lot lately.
Percy: (office style interview) I may have told some people to go fuck themselves. And threw someone in the lake. I also might have yelled at an 8 year old. If I did any of those things. I’m not sorry about it. I did what I had to do to save one of my best friends.
Thalia: (office style interview) Percy was freaking the fuck out because he has a crush on Annabeth and he does not know that yet. it was interesting to watching that white boy crash out for like a week not fun but interesting. 
I have been reading more arthurian stories but the thing i’m most obsessed with is Perceval by Chrétien de Troyes.
Perceval is like…. what if you had a medieval knight but he was a stupid teenager with ADHD who is also a mary sue that can kill everyone in a single hit and is the best at being a knight with zero training. He gets scared of the sounds of metal armor and thinks its demons coming after him. He doesn’t know his own name until like 3,000 lines into the poem and even then he’s just guessing what his name is and somehow gets it right. He seems to love his mom and always talks about her but he also saw her faint one time and was just like ‘oh well, that’s probably fine. I’m leaving.’ ..???????
Ive only seen like 5 posts on tumblr about perceval i need everyone to read perceval i am begging you please please please please please please please please please plea-
Online english translation (rhyming): https://www.poetryintranslation.com/PITBR/French/DeTroyesPercevalPartI.php
Online pdf of english translation (non-rhyming): https://dl1.cuni.cz/pluginfile.php/1073652/mod_resource/content/1/Chrétien%20de%20TROYES%2C%20Perceval%2C%20The%20story%20of%20the%20grail%3B%20Raffel.pdf
"Horse but make it a lizard and give it bat wings and horns"
didnt know how to interpret "make it a lizard" so i wrote lizard and drew an arrow pointing to the horse so people know its a lizard. Also didn't know what bat horns were so I gave it a horned bat nose
"A body like a big cat but completely covered in scales, the head of a crocodile with the horns of an ibex, and the wings of a bat on its back"
On it boss o7, ive mashed all these animals together and threw scales all over it. This the dragon you saw?
"Take a lizard, extend the neck. Add a pair of bat wings to the back. Add horns and sharp teeth."
Seems like we're onto somethin' boss! Though idk how it'd be so fearsome bein such a small thing.
"Imagine a winged alligator that was 70 feet tall and aware of its existence"
i dont know if this is a dragon but it could definitely be some kind of god
"Dinosaur with wings and horns?"
Dunno which dino you were talkin about so i just picked a random one. Stegosauus :}
"Big snake with legs and horns that can breathe fire"
Ah. Hm.
"A dragon is like a tree, in that it's a made up category for a broadly similar type of mythological creature that has no relationship to other dragons, but you know a dragon when you see one the way you know a tree when you see one."
imagine ur thalia grace. you wake up after being turned into a tree. ur brother is trying to resurrect kronos. poseidon's 13 yr old son is glaring at you like this is your fault. ur not sure why because as already mentioned you were a tree three days ago. he's inexplicably loyal to your little sister. he's apparently one of the most powerful demigods around. he's about to throw hands with you. u have quite literally just woken up. this is him.
i LOVE that they didnt show Blackjack talking. I love that percy looks kinda crazy. i love how it seems so normal to him. it's like so funny man i was shitting my pants the entire time
it is the most random shit ever and percy just be like
Here, my fellows, as I promised, are the links for nearly every Python content released and available on the internet (missing only the Not the Messiah (He's a Very Naughty Boy) complete oratorio and PDF versions of the books - including Michael Palin's diaries), for the Python-obsessed, brain-fried completist like me. If you ever need to have easy access to something, just click on the links! And if you or someone you know wants to get into the Python fandom, just refer to this post!
Enjoy!!!
[Audios are in blue, TV shows, docs and specials are in green, films are in orange, games are in red and other kinds of content are in pink. (I chose the videos based on whether they were in good quality; most of them are in HQ or close to that when possible.)]
Monty Python's Flying Circus (Internet Archive version - Google Drive version)
Monty Python's Fliegender Zirkus
Another Record
Previous Record
And Now For Something Completely Different
1971 Montreux Special
Labour Party Instructional Film
Birds Eye Peas Industrial Film
Close-Up Industrial Film
Matching Tie and Handkerchief
1973 sketch for Dutch TV
1973 French TV appearance
Is This a Record? Guinness Film
Live at Drury Lane
The Holy Grail
Live at the City Center (side 1 - side 2)
Life of Brian (Internet Archive version - YouTube version - The Pythons' 1979 a.D. BBC documentary - 1979 debate on Saturday Night, Sunday Morning)
Live at the Hollywood Bowl (Internet Archive version - YouTube version)
The Meaning of Life (complete with The Crimson Permanent Assurance!)
Parrot Sketch Not Included (Life of Python)
1990 Omnibus documentary
Monty Python Sings (Again)
Python Night (Paramount Comedy Network mockumentary)
Live at Aspen
Spamalot (concert film featuring the original Broadway cast - playlist of original Broadway cast recording)
Channel 4's 2006 documentary
Almost the Truth: Lawyer's Cut (with Russian subtitles... don't worry, I have BRICS immunity, I'll cover you) (part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5 - part 6)
Holy Flying Circus (by @anythingcanhappeninmay and complete with bonus thingies!)
A Liar's Autobiography (the movie - audiobook narrated by Graham Chapman)
Live (Mostly) (And Now For Something Rather Similar)
Monty Python at 50 radio broadcasts (by @gordonsgano)
Michael Palin: A Life on Screen
Graham Chapman's Pre-Python Home Movies
Terry Jones' Home Movies
Michael Palin's 1978 Home Movies
The Holy Grail flash game
The Holy Grail PC videogame (at the Collection Chamber blog)
The Meaning of Life PC videogame (also at the Collection Chamber blog)
Complete Waste of Time PC videogame (also also at the Collection Chamber blog)
a complete (and ever-evolving) list of the many titles of mr. henley whispers
because Henry Shields is a genius and all of this deserves to be documented
Henley Whispers
aka the Turbulent Wind
aka the Storm Before the Calm
aka Lithe Spirit
aka Lord of the Prance
aka Bowfingerer
aka the Bark Knight
aka Work Hard Fae Hard
aka Coyote Handsome
aka Tree Weird
aka the Gorse Whisperer
aka the Arrow-ma Therapist
aka Aragorn-al Activity
aka Quiver Phoenix
aka Jack of All Trades, Master of All Trades
aka Tree Willy
aka Dave Fern
aka Soft-Core Faun-ography
aka Forest Whitaker
aka Notorious Tree-IG
aka Mr. Yumnus
aka Ranger Danger
aka Lust of Wind
aka Parry Hotter
aka Pollen Farrell
aka The Wood, The Bard and the Smugly
aka the Longest Bard
aka Daft Skunk
aka Brodo Swaggins
aka Dismay in a Ranger
aka Harriet Shrubman
aka Jeffrey Archer
aka Fen Diagram
aka Look Who’s Tolkien
aka Fennel May Care
aka the Grass Samurai
aka Chloro-Phil Spector
aka Woody Allen
aka Thelonius Trunk
aka the Moss Adjuster
aka See No Weevil
aka the Branch Manager
aka the Flower of Hotland
the ✨ rhymes ✨:
human ranger, damage dealer, story weaver, owl deceiver
human ranger, goblin killer, pale ale swiller, dream journal filler
human ranger, rabble rouser, full of heart, devoid of trouser
human ranger, hidden stranger, friend of danger, dark avenger
human ranger, expert juggler, against the chains which bind us struggler
human ranger, loot stringer, shameless swinger, on da funk bringer
human ranger, check bouncer, espresso mispronouncer
human ranger, rule flouter, truth spouter, earthworm doubter
human ranger, poker player, that which others won’t say sayer
human ranger, trendsetter, otter petter, in-joke getter
human ranger, blame dodger, advertising for a lodger
human ranger, cheeky chancer, always-on-the-off-beat dancer
human ranger, truth spinner, under-7s judo winner
human ranger, time waster, different brands of water taster
human ranger, hog roaster, subtle boaster, party ghoster
human ranger, crystal healer, your-layers-like-an-onion peeler
human ranger, hell raiser, into-the-abyss gazer
human ranger, lithe linguist, sensual astrologist
human ranger, bugbear wrestler, established-societal-norm questioner
human ranger, tune hummer, every-known-fear overcomer
human ranger, knowledge gleaner, has the grass that’s always greener
human ranger, deer consumer, vole beguiler, badger groomer
human ranger, havoc wreaker, noted after dinner speaker
human ranger, cattle roper, inter-species interloper
human ranger, prey pouncer, fearless fighter, local counselor
deer stalker, fox glover, the one you’re with lover
black run skier, caged bird freer, the-change-you-want-to-see-in-the-world be-er
human ranger, eldritch blaster, surreptitious podcaster
human ranger, villain injurer, power broker, serial milliner
human ranger, wild reaver, what-a-tangled-web-we-weaver
human ranger, seed sower, flower goer, the-distance goer
human ranger, head turner, butter churner, bridge burner
human ranger, shameless liar, rule defier, hair dyer
human ranger, misbehav-er, always-against-the-grain shaver
human ranger, beast enrager, strong orator, up-upstager
human ranger, owlbear slayer, soothsayer, the-field player
human ranger, quick-quip punner, villain stunner, long-con runner
human ranger, heedless cur, own-job-interview saboteur
human ranger, of-wind guster, no-one truster, goat buster
human ranger, slightly odd, wistful, winsome beetle god
human ranger, well-worn traveler, yarn spinner, peascods gatherer
human ranger, daring dazzler, risk taker, mystery raveler
TRUE FACTS ABOUT HENLEY:
he believes that any bird singing in the forest is doing it specifically for him (and birds don’t sing when he’s not there)
he trims his pubic hair into the word “shazam”
he keeps a dream journal (but if he has a nightmare, he ignores it and makes up something nice)
he writes really bad poetry (short, broken sentences, “rupi kaur style”)
he’s been using Ghoul’s Gruel as anti-aging cream (it doesn’t work)
his spirit animal is himself
he pronounces espresso like “ethpretho”
he has a bad feeling about worms in general
he howls at the moon
he pretends to understand all inside jokes
he’s very concerned about the mortgage repayments on his house
he always dances on the off beat in order to stand out in the club
he’s the reigning champion of the under-7s judo competition in his local area
he can tell the difference between brands of water (and he has very strong opinions about them)
he leaves parties without telling people and then comes back in disguise to talk about the fact that he left
he uses healing crystals
he gazes into the abyss until it gazes back because he wants the attention
he uses “sensual astrology” to try and seduce people
he has every known fear (the exposure therapy backfired)
he shaves (against the grain) with a sword (your hair doesn’t grow in hell. he does it anyway.)
he always has the greenest grass (he steals any grass he sees that’s greener than his own)
he runs a grooming business for badgers (“what does he get in return from the badgers?” “…friends”)
he’s an accomplished after-dinner speaker
he tried to hibernate with badgers and they kicked him out
he majored in drawing in sand with sticks
he’s a bed wetter
he always bets all in when playing poker
he is a leading member of the “pithy council” (it’s just him and a ferret getting together to recite pithy sayings)
he will love the one YOU’RE with (aka sleep with your wife)
when someone asks him a difficult question, he turns and runs
he thinks he’s been leaving episodes of a podcast called “whispers on the air” in various rocks and twigs on their journey, but he doesn’t have the spell for it so he’s just been talking to inanimate objects
he has an unhealthy obsession with hats
he sleeps in a web
he invented a kind of long distance running called long distance fleeing (26 miles = safety)
he burns every bridge he crosses
henley (a natural blonde) dyes his hair blonde (his natural hair color) so people will think he has grays because he’s older and more mature than he really is
he must always be upstaging someone
he has an inexplicable hatred of goats and, similarly, an inexplicable love of sea turtles
he has been acting as the god for a family of beetles (he can give you seed)
