I got tired

A discourse-free compilation of evidence, theory and rhetoric on transgenderism with compassion and fairness to all. I oppose right-wing ideology and do not share any right-wing news sources.  

[tejuina]

all the radfems saying “if a conservative outlet is the only one publishing gender critical articles, then I’m going to use them as sources because they’re factual and not in and of themselves racist” are so fucking lazy. a lot of the right-wing shit you quote is not as ~neutral~ and ~factual~ as you think it is, and it is certainly not gender critical. just because you don’t recognize racist/homophobic/etc dogwhistles doesn’t mean they’re not there. we shouldn’t be using conservative propaganda as our sources both because we shouldn’t be monetarily supporting these people but ALSO because the shit they publish often—even if very subtly—goes against actual feminist values. do better

[tejuina]

if you find yourself agreeing with a right-wing journalist/writer, take some time to really study what they’re saying. especially if you’re white/straight, because no one is taught to think about their privileges and it is a lot harder for a white woman to spot subtle racism than it is for any woman of color. maybe you don’t find any red flags even after reading it over and over (and this is rarer than some radfems probably think)—great! still not a good idea to give them clicks/views/money. trace the story and find alternate sources! they often exist, and if they don’t, ask yourself: does this story contribute anything new that other stories haven’t already? the answer is probably not

[doingitatmybirthdaydinner]

it's interesting how it's a cancellable offense for "cis gays" to say tranny, but it's totally fine and encouraged for heterosexual trans people to say fag and dyke. #noticing

[mareshida]

LMFAOOO op & everyone in their replies resorting to insults because they have absolutely no counter for this is hilarious

[opalistangel-deactivated2026030]

Being an ex TIF to radical feminist is so weird because it's so eye opening to see all the lies I was told at 12-14.. What gets me the most is the statistic trans identified people / TRAs love to use :

It's not solely this statistic, loads of this sentiment are used. It's so emotionally manipulative to be thrown around. Especially in a community that heavily consists of young, vulnerable people. It sells you this lie that if you don't transition, you will live miserably and your fate is harming yourself. Do people hear themselves when they say this?

Suicide statistics are thrown around more than the risks for medical transitioning; I didn't even know there were risks. Meanwhile, several studies have come out to show that there isn't any correlation between gender affirming care and better mental health (¹). My gender dysphoria stemmed from trauma I won't disclose on here. It's still something that comes up every eight months or so.

Thank god I didn't medically transition due to my parents being transphobic lmao. I hate to think about the permanent damage I would've done to myself otherwise - but radfems are the ones doing damage to trans youth, of course!

¹ : Review of suicides and gender dysphoria at the Tavistock and Portman NHS Foundation Trust: independent report - GOV.UK https://share.google/5wZPvGkUClOh4BQ3C

[diana-lostandfound]

"We're just making up for the girlhood we never got to have!!" 

My friend who left her Amish order at age 19, who was the eldest daughter to a family of nine, who never had a birthday party, whose days of cooking and cleaning and farm labor and taking care of her younger siblings started at 4:30 am, has never felt the urge to do ageplay 

My coworker, who raised her violent younger brother and fended for herself in a filthy double-wide trailer where her parents were either gone or raging drunk at home, who couldn't even dare to invite a friend over because of how horrifying her home life was, has never felt the urge to have a slumber party pillow fight

My neighbor's mother, who grew up as a house girl in southern India, who was born into a life of drugery and hiddenness and abuse, who wasn't allowed to even touch the toilet or dining utensils of the house she was forced to work in for 10 hours a day as a child, has never felt the urge to drink out of a Disney princess sippy cup 

MTFs do not want to experience girlhood. Girlhood as we lived it would have made these pampered, whiny, milksop men kill themselves. They want to live in the sexualized schoolgirl anime that was contrived entirely in the minds of men. None of us got to experience that girlhood, and yet none of us are desperately trying to recreate it as adults now.

[xcounterforcex]

"Parents usually try to protect girls more and dress them in pretty dresses" — yes, because for centuries, women's lives depended on whether the rich rapist would like them and buy them or not. Woman were literally raised for sale like cattle.

Just remember that "princesses," contrary to the stereotypes about their pampering, were mere bargaining chips. They were artificially pushed out of power, driven back to tea parties and dress fittings, because their primary function was to be sold and then regularly subjected to sexual and reproductive violence.

Your idea of ​​womanhood or girlhood is literally built on the propaganda of misogynists (who don't want to lose the opportunity to rape women so they block women's right movement) and the mockery of femicide. Just think about that twice.

[hugewoman]

[adlibitur]

Begging y'all to stop acting like you can just remove organs with no negative consequences.

Hysterectomy is associated with new mental health conditions, increased cardiovascular and metabolic morbidity, trouble with ovarian function (2), incontinence increases, pelvic organ fistulas, heart disease, increased cancer risk, increased overall worse outcomes, and more.

Oophorectomy before natural menopause is associated with multiple conditions including accelerated aging even without pre-existing conditions, negative effects on long term health, it has significant neurodegenerative effects (2 & 3 & 4), ovarian conservation is important to mortality rates (2), substantial cardiovascular risk, it does NOT cure endometriosis, it associated with even causing chronic fatigue, just to name a few. Even the menopause society themselves have advised against their removal before natural menopause because of how substantial the negative effects on the body are.

[adlibitur]

People are reblogging this for a lot of reasons but I posted this because I was told multiple times by multiple specialists and medical providers that: "a hysterectomy and oophorectomy are ways to be done with endometriosis", that "there aren't any consequences to early surgical menopause other than not being able to have kids" and maybe some mild bone depletion, and that "there just isnt any research on surgical menopause in younger women" which was put in my chart

and yet all of these things are in fact false.

I was never told that the uterus and ovaries are important for other health reasons even though I specifically asked, and was instead told the opposite.

I wasn't given any of the information above. When I tried to bring up anything similar, I was sternly told the opposite- that these organs were easy to remove and that it wasn't a big deal unless you wanted children.

So the least I can do is take the stockpile of articles I keep in my notes on my phone and share them so that someone else can have the information I had to find on my own after the fact, given the endometriosis specialist took my healthy organs anyway and committed medicaid fraud to get himself paid.

So, enjoy my link stockpile, but very gently I am pointing out this is about the procedures in the most general informed consent sense. I see people saying in the tags that this information "wont change any minds" and that is simply not true- I would have run for the hills from any provider suggesting these things as necessary had I known a) how much that wasn't true or helpful but also b) how devastating the health consequences would be on top of the health problems I have already, because c) most physicians are absolute dogshit at informed consent because they themselves are under false impressions about these procedures as well. I have met many, MANY healthcare workers who have a very poor understanding of hysterectomy and or oophorectomy consequences including people who have had them done themselves and STILL have misunderstandings about it.

so yeah.

[doingitatmybirthdaydinner]

bbbut lesbians like strap!!!!

I don't know how exactly to describe what I'm trying to say here, but in my recent post about "organic strap" I mentioned how the entire invention of the strap-on (the first mention of a strap-on was in 1023 btw) only happened BECAUSE lesbians do not like actual penises, or the men they are attached to. throughout global history, if we could have liked actual penis, that would have made our lives a lot easier and safer. we could just sleep with and marry men, and not have to go through all the work of finding a lesbian partner and getting or making a strap-on, and then being in danger because of our homosexuality. why would women before the year 1023 go through the work of creating a strap-on to use on each other, when literally 50% of the population is male and has a real penis? especially when I'm assuming that creation and it's use in homosexual sex would have put those women in danger of some kind of punishment. because they did NOT like penises or men. a strap-on is the ultimate signal of NOT liking men, and NOT liking penis, not the other way around.

it's like saying that paralyzed people can actually walk just fine, because wheelchairs and crutches and walking devices exist. no, those devices exist BECAUSE paralyzed people struggle to walk. or saying that vegans actually want to eat real beef, because black bean burger patties exist. no, those meat substitutes exist BECAUSE vegans don't want to eat meat. it's so ridiculous to ask homosexuals, "wait, but have you considered doing your sexual practices with a member of the opposite sex instead of a member of the same sex?" like yeah. yeah I did. because being a homosexual is not easy, and all of these outside forces are constantly telling you to try being straight. it's like asking an obese person if they ever did weight watchers. like.......yeah.

so for transbian tims to turn around and tell lesbians that we actually do like dick, because we like strap (very presumptuous to assume all lesbians like strap) is so fucking stupid, homophobic, and rapey. also, don't you think IIIII would know if I liked dick? like I'm ME!! I know myself pretty well and I've been myself for 21 years, and a large part of my life has been me grappling with the fact that I DON'T like males or penises. and I've had tims not even ask, but TELL me that lesbians can like dick because we like straps. oh okay sir thanks for letting me know. first of all, what about the wearer of the strap? does she like dick too or..?

also, I don't know a way to put this that isn't crass and gross, so sorry, but gay guys do anal sex. everyone, male or female, has an asshole. so why is no one telling gay guys they can actually sleep with women and just do anal sex with them instead of with men, and why is no one using his fact as evidence that gay men secretly like women? or idk maybe there are tifs out there who identify as gay men who actually are using this rhetoric, but it seems like this kind of stuff ALWAYS gets used against lesbians by both old school conservative homophobes, and new progressive queer homophobes. one of my least favorite gender ideology arguments out there, it's so infuriating for some penis having idiot to be like "oh actually, you do like dick, and I have proof.... strap-ons!!!"

[femagotchi]

Seriously, I don't understand this comparison. A strap on is a piece of plastic. Moreover, it is a piece of plastic attached to another woman. And you can get one that doesn't resemble any real body part and is neon purple. Not at all comparable to a dick...

[ferrethaver]

transandrophobia is a subset of misogyny

[ferrethaver]

the mtfs and transfeminists of tumblr hate transandrobros (and all afab trans people) because if transandrobros talk about the specific oppression they face by at the intersection of being trans/gnc and being born female (and female for the rest of their lives too), then the theory of transfeminism completely shatters and they'll all have to admit they have male privilege as a result of having been born male.

trans men and theyfabs and transmascs talking about their experiences with growing up female and facing misogyny their whole lives is exactly what transfeminists don't want to hear because if trans men are born female and experience misogyny because of it then that means sex based oppression is real which then means they are no longer oppressed for being male

[learn-2-love-deactivated2026011]

I think it's really telling that we pretty much all say that we wanted trans ideology to be correct but no one could explain or prove it, no books, no other trans people, no activist material. I felt this same way, pretty much all my detrans mutuals or the people I follow say the same thing.

If I could find something that proves that I am wrong, that gender is definable, provable, real, and that I was simply wrong about mine, that would be very soothing. I have trans people in my life who mean a lot to me, my transition has taken up a large chunk of my life (if you start the clock at my "coming out", it literally went on longer than my previous stage of life from 0-11 years old... being from 11-23), and the progressive wing of US politics, and most pro-gay organizations, have hitched their wagon to the transgender movement.

I have no idea what people think the benefits to becoming a radical feminist are that would make us abandon the supposed truth. Feminism, like, actual "we need to liberate women" feminism, has never been popular. I suppose they just think I'm foaming at the mouth with hatred l every time I imagine a trans woman, despite the fact that I've spent months of my time and thousands of dollars emotionally and financially supporting MTFs in my life, who I thought were intensely vulnerable, because they told me they were and I believed them and loved them and wanted to protect them.

The truth is that I think that gender abolition benefits everyone, but it benefits females the most, because we are the ones meant to be oppressed by gender. If "womanhood" no longer existing means that "trans womanhood" no longer has any meaning, I see that as necessary. It's not oppression or repression to say your penis and Y chromosome make you male, especially since being male doesn't mean anything inherent about your personality or goals or feelings. It is oppression to say that female people need to sit down and shut up about gender because it makes some male people feel better about their bodies. For every woman killed, disfigured, disabled, maimed, beaten, raped, belittled, barred from education or work, forced to be pregnant or forced to abort: I HAVE to be a feminist, I HAVE to understand that being female is what makes you the target of misogyny, and for that I must know what female is.

[harleybutch]

I understand that desisted people do not go through hormones and face permanent damage through medical intervention, but people act as if the phase is experimental and just a quirky time of your life if you are. But that phase had once consumed me.

You are skating on thin ice with these communities. Being told that if you don't get medical intervention, you will die. Delving into self-harm. Hypersexualizing. Burying your same sex attraction like it's something to be ashamed of. The possibility of causing damage to your body through binding. Losing friends. Mentally degrading yourself ever time you look into a mirror because of your biological reality.

It consumes every bit of your life. So no, it's not a silly pronouns changing phase. It is traumatizing.

[glumshoe]

do not go to Dr. Kenneth Wolf for top surgery

[glumshoe]

I went to him because he was 1.) the cheapest possible option and since I needed crowdfunding that seemed best 2.) within driving distance of my friends who’d be able to host me. I didn’t have any complications and I don’t hate my results, so the fact that he stopped offering free revisions after COVID (including for people who had their surgeries before the pandemic) and ghosts everyone isn’t a huge deal personally. I do have moderate to severe dog-earring right in the middle my chest which limits what clothing I can wear and have inquired about possible revisions with other surgeons (so far no one has been willing to operate on other dr’s work and have told me I’d need to pay the price of a full secondary top surgery). Dr. Wolf famously ghosts all his patients after surgery and has strict weight limits.

HOWEVER I accompanied my friend to their top surgery at the University of Michigan last year that made Dr. Wolf’s entire process seem back alley and sketchy by comparison. My friend had extensive pre- and post-surgical monitoring and extreme sanitary precautions. Dr. Wolf just had me take off my shirt and slapped me on the operation table still wearing my street clothes and then scraped me up and sent me home the moment I regained consciousness. His bedside manner was offputting and uncomfortable. It has been impossible to contact him ever since, even to ask politely why my stitches look so different from his other results. Other people with much worse results have also been ghosted.

[glumshoe]

OH AND ALSO when I asked if he could swap my left and right nipples just for the hell of it he said “yeah sure lol” but apparently you’re not supposed to do that because there is the risk of like, manually metastasizing cancer cells. lol. I did ask for it and I think I am at very low risk for breast cancer but I do think a responsible surgeon should at least know about and warn you of that possibility before agreeing to it.

[glumshoe]

my friends and my ex were great caretakers who made the recovery process easy and kind of fun but knowing what I know now makes the whole experience retroactively a little bit traumatic

[cishits]

How would you define male and female?

To me? They are meaningless. I cannot for the life of me fathom what they are and what they mean. 

[apparentlyevil-deactivated20150]

“Black women wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and see black women. White women wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and see women. White men wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and see human beings.” — Michelle Haimoff.

The meaninglessness of biology in a world where female biology is overwhelmingly the target of anti-choice legislation, slavery, the withholding of education, forced/mandatory pregnancy, rape, murder, incest, paedophilia and mutilation, is a privilege that very few female human beings on this planet have access to. If you are able to say to biology, “you are meaningless” then you have no idea what it is like to be oppressed on the axis of biology, and ignoring it is a violent slap in the face of the women and girls all over the world who are oppressed on the basis of being born female. This cavalier attitude towards human biology and the behaviours that exist in response to it is dishonest, it is in denial, it is oppressive, and it is above all, misogynistic. It is also anti-intersectional, as it completely ignores how women of colour are further violated on the grounds of their biology. Saying that sexual biology is meaningless is on the same level of delusion as, “skin colour is meaningless” or “disability is meaningless” or “race is meaningless, I cannot for the life of me fathom it or what it means”. It is not meaningless. It is a biological reality, it is a group that people are born into and on this basis are subjected to horrific treatment that is specific to that particular group.

[itdoobielikethat]

Op removed this reply and then turned off reblogs, so here you go.

[hyeenagurrl]

transwomen call it ‘pedojacketing’ cuz they figured out quick that calling the shit that comes to light about them ‘false rape allegations’ makes them sound like the rank gamergate MRAs they used to be before they transitioned lol

[hieronymouscock]

tumblr embracing tme/tma is so funny but so expected to me like sorry biological sex is an important distinction which affects how you experience the world and you may want to speak to other people in clear terms of how bio sex affects your life BUT only if it's about male people and not female people...okay got it

I really resent the notion that there is a brand of misogyny that female people can never experience and only inflict as if there aren't so many things that female people experience that male people just will not. It's remarkable how bio sex can exist and be important and affect your life but only if you are female because what is tme/tma if not female/male. I'm glad it doesn't seem to have made it very far off of tumblr and its adjacent cultural environs at least.

[gendercriticalbutch]

"the gay agenda"

so I've seen a lot of comments from TRAs comparing the arguments often made by TERFs/GCs to homophobic conservatives clutching their pearls over "the gay agenda" and I guess I just wanted to make a whole post responding to that criticism because not only is it utterly absurd but it's also just kind of interesting to me.

conservative idiots whining about "the gay agenda" argue that gay people are trying to completely change the way society functions and "recruit" or "brainwash" straight children into being/believing they're gay. we all know this is stupid because we understand how sexuality works. you cannot make a straight person gay just as you cannot make a gay person straight.

the biggest ways gay rights activists "completely changed" society is they wanted same-sex attraction to not be considered a mental illness (which it used to be), and they wanted same-sex relationships to be considered just as legitimate as hetero relationships by allowing two people of the same sex to get married and adopt children if they wanted to. and with the exception of pearl-clutching conservative morons who love complaining about nothing, straight people's lives were largely unchanged by this development. they were still allowed to be in their straight marriages and live their straight lives and live happily ever after with their partner of the opposite sex. all that changed was that gay people were also allowed to do that. big whoop.

there's also a very clear definition of what it means to be gay: a person who is romantically/sexually attracted to a person of the same sex. if a teen boy says to a friend or family member that he's questioning his sexuality and thinks he might be gay, they could just ask if he's ever felt attracted to another guy and get a clear answer.

none of this is true of gender ideology, which means nothing and demands everything. it demands you do all sorts of mental gymnastics to explain how a male can become a female. it demands you essentially define womanhood out of existence. it demands that children can consent to undergo serious medical procedures and become patients for the rest of their lives despite having nothing physically wrong with their bodies and you need to be completely okay with that or else you're a bigot who is literally killing people.

there is no clear definition of what it means to be trans. the most accepted definition I have heard for transgenderism is: "anyone who says they're trans is trans" which is circular, meaningless, garbage. with TRA logic my 6 foot balding father in his late 50's who's been living as a man his entire life could one day walk up to me and say: "hey, I identify as a woman now!" and just like that he's now my mother, my mother is now a lesbian, and everyone would need to be okay with him in women's private spaces because he's a strong brave woman who understands womanhood better than any biological female... all of that is utterly ludicrous, and the comparison to homophobia is mind-numbingly stupid. ok thanks lol rant over

[a-lesbian-feminist]

This is also why i've never agreed with gay and trans people being grouped together. As a gay person, my identity and sexuality don't require other people to do anything. When I came out to people close to me, they didn't need to change anything about the language they use or how they view me or how they treat me, it was just a fact I shared about myself.

But when trans people come out, it requires people to change their language and treatment of that person. It requires some amount of emotional and mental labor. It isn't just "please accept me", it's "please use these words for me, don't use these other words for me, include me in these spaces now" and whatever else they demand.

There is no gay agenda because we're not asking straight people do do anything differently. We just want to be gay. But trans people ARE asking everyone else to change society for them, and in many cases are asking to be centered in society and everyone's lives. That's why they have an agenda. The trans agenda is to force people to include oppressors in an oppressed group, and to lie to everyone else and themselves about what they are.

[multigenderswag]

Reminder to multigender people (and trans people in general, but this came up on the multigender survey so I'm addressing multigender people in particular) that you can't "transition to become intersex." You can absolutely transition to have mixed sex characteristics, or both a penis and a vagina, or whatever other transition is best for you, but if you're not intersex you shouldn't refer to yourself that way. Intersex people have repeatedly explained that it's inaccurate and offensive to claim you're "transitioning to intersex," don't do that.

[dhakcjshkvjbd]

it’s offensive to think you can become intersex but not offensive to think you can become female? why?

[dhakcjshkvjbd]

hmmmmmm

[sickofthis666]

"A social and medical category of ppl facing specific discrimination since birth" 🤔 Well I wouldn't know nothing 'bout that. Obvsly.

[an-awkward-tangerine]

"Intersex people face so much discrimination from the moment they are born, doctors mutilating their genitals, parents forcing them down one gender path, etc. that it would be offensive to call yourself intersex when you have faced none of that discrimination"

Unlike women who aren't discriminates since birth, aren't mutilates because of their sex, aren't forced down one gender path... wait.

If sex is a spectrum and one can transition to female even if they were not born that way, why can't they transition to intersex even if they're not born that way ? Because of oppression ? Are you saying female people are not oppressed ?