Complete Trash

[queer-here-and-in-fear]

shorthands for dumbassery that i have grown to love deeply

"how dare you say we piss on the poor" in response to someone misinterpreting your post

"_ isnt gonna fuck you" for suck up behavior

"woah. should we tell everyone? should we throw a party?" for who the fuck cares

"and what if the world was made of pudding" for when would this ever matter.

"and sharks are smooth both ways" for a group of people heatedly arguing with 1 guy who is fucking with them all

".. but its about a witch in the alps finding her lost cat" for someone trying to sanitize something to the point of absurdity

[queer-here-and-in-fear]

this is prime proof that this ENTIRE WEBSITE is autistic because nowhere else would a no tags post that's just an informative list about slang get this much traction.

[queer-here-and-in-fear]

anyway more addittions

“30-50 wild hogs” for someone making ABSURD excuses for violence.

“what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament” for how do you know that without being a part of it.

“anyone in this thread smoke weed” for the shit you people are saying is so off topic this might as well be a general discussion forum

“dogs are boys and cats are girls” for ooh ur mindset did not grow past 4th grade, huh

“color theory in a childrens hospital” for bending over backwards to not agree that YEA, that thing Came Off Weird

“you are a tar pit” for someone finding any reason to respond with outrage.

“is the __ in the room with us right now?” for I Don’t Think That’s Real.

“bean soup? im allergic to beans!” for ik this doesn’t work for you, but that’s not a flaw. not everything can be for you.

“people irl: hey man hows it going” for this will Never Matter irl

[chameshida]

Into the depth

[animentality]

[arrowandaxe]

[bee-in-your-binnet]

Coyotes trying their damndest to get domesticated

[plaguedocboi]

I’m crying over this picture

[marinebiologyshitposts]

[cryptotheism]

I was too scared to be into makeup during my emo boy days. Now that I'm kind of a girl I understand eyeliner as a type of toy.

[cryptotheism]

Eyeliner exists within this spiritual phylum

[lonos]

When your boss refuses to let you play with toys during work because that’s gay

[lonos]

When your boss makes you play with toys during work because not having trains all over your face makes you a “tyke”

[akashicrecord]

the lesbian computer from portal was right. given the circumstances ive been shockingly nice

[ivy-connivy]

insane like/reblog parity on this post btw

[fledgling-witch]

The Evidence:

The Magic School Bus can time travel

When asked, Ms. Frizzle denies that she “knows everything”

However, Ms. Frizzle always knows what her students are up to, knows the answer to every question they ask her, and never shows fear even when in extreme mortal peril, as if she’s experienced this all before

Although we know she was in a rock band called the Frizzlettes and was a Shakespearean actress, Ms. Frizzle’s childhood remains mysterious

Ms. Frizzle is EXACTLY the sort of person to travel back in time to teach herself, and is in fact the most likely fictional character to do so

Nobody is ever named “Valerie Frizzle” at birth

Ms. Frizzle dresses queerly and laughs at her own bad jokes

A lot of the series is about Arnold learning to take chances, make mistakes, and get messy - that phrase is more or less targeted at him as a student

Ms. Frizzle looks a lot like a grown-up Arnold

[featherless-wings]

Holy shit???????

[sistertaxon]

She literally has a giant storeroom full of barrels of pickles because she loves pickles so much what more evidence do you need

[fledgling-witch]

[the-dark-aquarian]

What relation do pickles have with the transgender community?

[nentuaby]

One of the medications used in hormone therapy for trans women (spironolactone, which counteracts testosterone) has the side effect of, putting it crudely, making you have to pee all the goddamn time. That causes dehydration and loss of electrolytes.

Pickles and pickle juice turn out to be a fairly convenient and flavorful way of satisfying an electrolyte craving. Those who’ve been on spiro a long time can develop a nigh-spiritual bond with ‘em.

[h3lena-o]

dope

[immolationiv]

LIZ IS TRANS TOO BC SHE HAS HORNS AND FEMALE JACKSONS CHAMELEONS DONT HAVE HORNS

[fledgling-witch]

[lilu-the-almighty]

Ms frizzle is a time traveling trans woman is not a take I expected to encounter today but it’s one that I will stand buy to my god damn grave

[patrochilles-or-bust]

This Karmelo Anthony situation really reminds me that white Americans really think self defense is only for them. These white male school shooters and crowd shooters will literally aim at defenseless people and get it called "responding to bullying" (i.e. being socially isolated for being a white supremacist at 14) and "self defense" (despite showing up to a protest against racism to threaten and commit murder).

But a Black kid stabs a racist white one for threatening and attacking him at school, and suddenly it's "why does he have weapons at school" (which is apparently legal to an extent in Texas) oh NOW we wanna act like people should turn the other cheek to bullying. White kid's brother threatening to "shoot monkeys" at the school, but we supposed to believe this is unprecedented behavior. Mkay. Crazy work.

Like I've never been a proponent of guns period, but this is why I'm not mad when the response to racists acquiring guns is us acquiring guns. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Be damned if I sit there as a waiting duck just so I can be dead with "the higher moral ground".

[patrochilles-or-bust]

I had a whole Nazi (power/burial) and his gang get mad at me for this. And some weirdo sending me racist poetry in gaelic about it. Folks will do anything other than stop being racist 😭

[creatingblackcharacters]

AND his father called Karmelo a "watermelon felon". Like. Y'all are gonna keep acting like white children don't learn racism at home that they take out on their classmates of color. "It's just a phase" well clearly it isn't, not when they're having it reinforced at home!

[sirobvious]

The state of TTRPGs if it was video games

“Oh I wanna play a Half-life video game; instead of playing Half-life 1, Blue Shift, Opposing Force, Half-life 2, Episode 1, Episode 2, Portal, Portal 2, E:0, or E:02, I’ll just download 10,000 mods for Skyrim until all the draugr are replaced with Combine soldiers.”

[sirobvious]

dude they have this thing called a rulebook

[digital-meat]

I watched so many lets plays. None of them installed mario on my computer.

so here we are

[ecrivainsolitaire]

The state of TTRPGs if it was video games:

*tries to enforce rulebook*

*gets thoroughly ignored*

*everyone is still having fun with their bullshit while the guy with the rulebook is sitting alone in the corner*

Yeah turns out people don’t like to be told how to play to the point that they will literally develop hacking skills to be able to do whatever random crap they find funny. Which isn’t always the wisest choice, but it’s the one they found fun. Maybe TTRPGs would be more popular if the modding community was more welcome, which, wait, that’s what lead to the 2010s boom of D&D until Wizards decided to start messing with the rules and suddenly everyone stopped caring again. It’s almost like rule lawyering is what puts people off games, huh. D&D didn’t get it’s rebirth as a game, but as a game engine, during the era when Minecraft and Roblox were succeeding by doing the same thing.

Maybe that’s what Tabletop has to learn from Vidya.

[sirobvious]

You don’t know what “rules lawyering” means, or really what anything you’re saying means, but mostly that one.

You’re looking at the concept of playing by the rules and seeing it as blind obedience instead of literacy.

[thydungeongal]

“D&D had its rebirth as a game engine” is just falling hook, line and sinker for WotC’s marketing. It’s also patently untrue

[simpleimple]

Even in the game engine metaphor it’s still like trying to make Tetris, Stardew Valley, Total War: Warhammer, the Stanley Parable, Ultima Online, Bass Pro Fishing 2026, whatever you want in Bethesda’s Creation Engine as if you don’t need to put a hat on a guy to have something pretending to be a train. In the manner that any given system is a kind of interpretive analog computer, each one fills the same role as a game engine. But similar you’re not going to want to make a physics puzzle game in the engine that still has identical weird physics bugs to the ones which happened in a game engine that the creators claim to have not upgraded from but entirely stopped using. It’s still tying a glowstick to a hammer and saying it makes for a great flashlight because Home Depot says its valid to do what you want with the things you bought.

[gupdoo3]

“Water type is super effective against Fire type”

“omg stop rules lawyering”

[paperandpencilsandskips]

[hotvampireadjacent]

Happy tom needy drinky day

[asterkallium]

piplup grain entrapment

[asterkallium]

piplup cares a lot about his work

[asterkallium]

piplup reports on the company's finances. layoffs are inevitable.

[asterkallium]

piplup takes a sick day

[asterkallium]

piplup considers some jorts

[asterkallium]

piplup forgives his father.

[asterkallium]

piplup goes grocery shopping

[asterkallium]

piplup jumps your battery

[asterkallium]

piplup lights the menorah

[asterkallium]

piplup sees the pale blue dot

[asterkallium]

piplup catsits

[asterkallium]

piplup hides a zombie bite from you

[asterkallium]

piplup studies plein air

[asterkallium]

piplup goes overboard at shopping therapy

[asterkallium]

piplup tells you it's a fiction. we made it up.

[asterkallium]

piplup sees the pale blue dot (remastered)

[parkayquarts]

hbo max blocks screenshots even when I use the snipping tool AND firefox AND ublock which is a fucking first. i will never understand streaming services blocking the ability to take screenshots thats literally free advertising for your show right there. HOW THE HELL IS SOMEBODY GONNA PIRATE YOUR SHOW THROUGH SCREENSHOTS. JACKASS

[parkayquarts]

somewhere out there is a guy who meticulously takes screenshots of every individual frame of his favorite tv shows and then painstakingly etches each one onto a roll of film which he puts into his old timey projector and recreates the footage as a silent film with his own lavishly hand-lettered dialogue cards and original score that he plays on his upright piano and charges audiences one shiny penny a play. at last, big media has finally outsmarted ol' Zachary Zoetrope

[theheroheart]

PSA for everyone who doesn't know, explained simply

this is NOT because of blocking screenshots, it's because of HOW streaming sites use your computer's hardware to optimise performance, which means the thing rendering the video and the thing capturing your screen aren't the SAME thing. so they can't talk together.

you can fix this by going to your browser settings, searching for "hardware acceleration", and turning that off.

[team-thickness12]

This also fixes screen sharing to other screens. It has been GODSEND

[lucarleigho]

type this in the toolbar to find this setting in firefox: about:preferences#searchResults

[mctreeleth]

ol' Zachary Zoetrope is back in business!

[revizyonist]

med people are so annoying "This family's 8 year old child who was about to go through a major surgery and kept crying that she was hungry so they pitied her and gave her food, she then had a heart attack in the surgery. They're so stupid 😒" girl they didn't know that could happen or why it happens. it takes so little time to explain to them that will happen instead of telling them "no food" with no explanation 10 times

[revizyonist]

"Before surgery, your body’s reflexes that protect your airway are relaxed by anesthesia. If there’s food or liquid in your stomach, it will near certainly come back up and go into your lungs, which can cause choking, a severe lung / heart infection or even a heart attack. That’s called aspiration, and it is life-threatening. It's hard, but it's only a single day to prevent near certain death. Not eating or drinking beforehand massively lowers the risk and helps prevent these life threatening situations under anesthesia." <- TIP: patients have brains which allows them to receive information just like you

[ancelineonline]

I have four kids. I’ve had one or another of them need some kind of surgical procedure that requires anesthesia four or five times over the past 15 years.

This Tumblr post is the first time someone has explained to me *why* I couldn’t feed them before those instances.

I’m not stupid. I understood that just fine. Hell, my kids would have understood that just fine. But no one bothered to tell us.

[bowditch]

i did know this before having kids (i have six). we have a kid that's needed multiple procedures requiring anesthesia. and every single time, i am asked multiple times if i'm sure he was not given any food or water after a certain point.

every single time i have had to say, "i understand that if he had food or water, he could aspirate it into his lungs under anesthesia. i am not lying to you." THEN someone would make a little note and i would stop being repeatedly asked.

not a single time was that risk explained to me. the only reason it came up was because i already knew. i still don't understand why it isn't standard pre-op counseling or pre-op check information, when me as a parent acknowledging the actual risk also put THE MEDICAL STAFF at ease because i conveyed that i had informed understanding as reason to not lie about giving my kid food.

"maybe some people will get nervous and refuse surgery" okay so they need more counseling about risks and anxiety, not less information in a way that actually does endanger their child or themselves!

[arctic-turtle-cassiopeia]

Reblogging to save a life and teach medical professionals basic communication skills

[cherryhatter-deactivated2015072]

KICK THE CAN!

Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.

To kick the can, reblog it. I wanna see how long this can go on for.

[visibun]

the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

[drtanner]

And yet somehow this is my first time kicking it!

[creature-adjacent]

Carnivorous plants doin this is so funny to me

They don't wanna eat their pollinators :(

[questionablepastries]

[charlesoberonn]

"Oh you had a plague? Come back to us when you had a World War, brand new unconventional weapons, and a new international order."

[charlesoberonn]

I apologize.

[noroquian]

[demareth]

insert that YOU chihuahua post where theyre being pinned down i cant for the life of me find it

[charlesoberonn]

This one?

[schwazombie]

[ruffboi-mags]

Oh, Charles. The hubris. Honey. You had to know this was a possibility. Why would you tempt Apollo like that.

[dzamie]

I love how we don't even need Apollo to be captioned, it's just "he's holding a dodgeball and looks Greek statue, of COURSE it's Apollo delivering the gift of prophecy unto unsuspecting tumblr users"

[nebulous-nebuli]

[sour-charity]

[blueelectivire]

Absolute fucking trainwreck of a post

[seven-very-hot-fish]

Oh gee I wonder why this is going around again

[zack-creeper]

Art