Thought Crime Champion🏅 @racketdragon - Tumblr Blog

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

olicrosse

fixed it

‎

when i was a kid i had moments of being so fucking diabolical because i realized at some point the best way to leverage power over my family was to do shit that would make everybody late

eraserheadadult

our house was in the middle of nowhere surrounded by woods so when i decided i didnt want to wear dresses anymore if we were going to some event & my parents insisted i had to wear a dress i would just go hide in the woods. was so committed i almost made us miss a flight once bc my mom packed a dress in my suitcase

i only promised to stop doing this if my parents got me formal boys clothes to wear which eventually they did. i don't feel bad about resorting to violence bc i asked politely and they said no. proud of 10 yr old me for evil annoying lesbian behavior

the-prophesied-disco-gay

5th grade was the last time I wore a dress for school pictures. When my parents attempted to force the issue for 6th grade, I climbed onto our roof and pulled the ladder up after me. My dad borrowed the neighbors ladder. As soon as it touched the roof I pulled it up too. By the time I had 3 ladders they were willing to negotiate, and 2 hours late for work.

max1461

ostensible-adult

[Image ID: a tumblr tag reading "problems that can be avoided if you simply treat your child as a human being with the right to make decisions on what they wear". End ID]

vulpes-aestatis

Baby sphinx trying to be like mama and waylaying travelers, but all its riddles are completely non-sensical like the ones a 1st grader would tell

thecactifindahome

pangur-and-grim

my humours have balanced. I have become mentally normal again

pangur-and-grim

no, mentally normal people can still write spider sex books

teaboot

YOU

neilcicierega

I was having sex with iTunes on shuffle and I came during "Best" from Mouth Silence.

having sex with iTunes

hylianane

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

maseratus

Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.

mousidy

now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"

mousidy

bisthefairy

Hotdog vender lays down their life to protect their suicidal partner, who then takes over the hotdog stand to carry on their memory...

maightymai

ralfmaximus

Years ago back when I worked in cubicle land, we were hiring junior software developers. They didn’t have to have a ton of experience, just a willingness to learn, and some demonstration of their software skills. Like: show me a program you wrote (any language) or a web site you designed. Anything.

And there was this one guy I talked with who seemed super sharp, but had virtually zero experience writing software. When it came time to do the show-n-tell part of the interview he whips out his laptop, brings up a website, and spins it around to show me what he made.

A website of tiny ceramic frogs.

Not for sale. Just… all these ceramic frogs, organized into categories. Frogs on bicycles, frogs with hats, frogs sitting on lily pads. It was a virtual museum of ceramic frogs in web form.

I scrolled through his online collection of frogs, slightly baffled.

“This is your website?” I asked finally.

“Yep!”

“You coded this yourself?” I popped into view-source mode and poked around some incredibly well-formatted, well-commented html. I nodded slowly. This guy was meticulous.

“Yep!”

“So… where’d all the frogs come from?”

“I made those too,” he says, beaming.

And while I’m processing this he rummages in his bag and pulls out a little ceramic frog working at a computer terminal. He places it on the table before us, next to the laptop.

“And THIS one,” he says, “I made for you! As a thank you for the interview.”

It was adorable. I hired him on the spot. I mean, why not? Worst case he’d wash out in 90 days and we’d hire somebody else. He turned out to be one of the best developers on our team.

And yes, his cubicle was loaded with ceramic frogs.

suffering-and-misery

adhd paralysis sucks bcuz im just sitting there and my brain is like

YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME

no work done no rest gained. literally no point of this at all

sabrsiren-deactivated20250418

just wanted to share these executive dysfunction comics i am so sorry to whoever drew them these have been saved on my phone for like 6 years

veltroxx

ugh, that feeling of stuck panic but no actual moving is the worst.

the-haiku-bot

ugh, that feeling of

stuck panic but no actual

moving is the worst.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

marroniere

teaboot

I will forever maintain that genuine fortune-telling and psychic medium junk is a load of bull, but as a person who owns tarot decks and regularly uses them as a tool for self-reflection I also have to admit that it does kind of work for that and it's very very funny when it does

Once I laid out some cards before I left the house and couldn't figure out an interpretation of the symbolism that made sense outside of "stop focusing and pay attention", which was of course absurd, so I was puzzling over that all the way to my bus stop and was so distracted the whole time that I walked face-first into a massive fucking spiderweb

teaboot

It always hits so good

tizzymcwizzy

for my senior thesis i designed and produced an aquatic themed deck of playing cards! i'm super super happy with how they turned out and i'm super excited to announce that i'll be selling decks of these in the near future!!! :D

i have a little interest check survey where you can sign up for email updates if you're interested,, but i'll be posting about the preorder when it's ready :)