We're legends.

This blog is mostly reblogs, so get ready for old posts. I'm also getting into image editing, so if you wanna either follow that or blacklist, it's under #my edits. (Title quote is from one of the older episodes of The Adventure Zone, and the header image is from the Ancient Magus Bride!)

[madcat-world]

30 Minute Speedpaints (6 of 9) - Diana Franco

[iwannapushyourdaisies]

now we know the source fellas please appreciate and acknowledge the artist for all ur memes

[lizardsister]

detective pikachu was a cute movie and all but the part where they drenched a mr. mime in gasoline before setting him on fire and watching him burn alive was really fucked up

[luxicaltric]

hey op i didn’t think you were serious

[haiikyuus-remade]

social media popularity and influencer culture is gross but also.. i wanna make money for doing absolutely nothing too

[gathermyspirits]

It’s a TON of work. It’s not doing nothing???? It’s taking pictures at the ass crack of dawn to make a hotel stay “look like a vacation” it’s eating cold food because it took forever to get that right lighting. It’s editing photos and videos for hours because shit has to look professional af. We’re business people, photographers, marketing experts, and have to look good doing it so fuck off w this “influencers do nothing” shit. 🙄

[ferngullynationalist]

Imagine being so privileged and narcissistic that you genuinely think things like waking up early and eating sub-par food are incredible hardships unique to your lifestyle.

[hikingboots]

Not even subpar…just like..cold.

[skootdawg]

Sperm whale mimics a spinning diver.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Humans: *encounters Earth’s Largest Carnivore, who would could swallow them whole, probably*

Human: … Spin?

Earth’s largest carnivore, with a brain that weighs almost as much as this naked beach ape*: SPIN!

[regaldragonempress]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN SPERM WHALES ARE CARNIVORES

I THOUGHT THEY ATE KRILL AND STUFF LIKE OTHER WHALES

[gallusrostromegalus]

Nope! Sperm whales eat extremely large deep-sea squids, like the Giant and Colossal Squids. They have also been known to opportunistically eat dead whales, sharks, and seals, but not actively hunt them. They got real big teeth for it too:

However, they only have teeth on thier bottom jaw!  they have corresponding holes in their top jaw for the teeth to lock into, which makes hanging onto a slippery, boneless squid:

It should be noted that the human here isn’t in particular danger of being eaten on purpose, but an accidental swing of it’s multi-ton head, a clip from the teeth, or being directly in the line of it’s sonar could seriously injure or kill them- Divers that have been in the direct line of echolocation for a sperm whale calf have described being hit with the soundwave like “being kicked by a horse” and some have suffered internal organ damage.  Sperm whales, like other large whales, aren’t particularly aggressive towards humans, but they are still very large wild animals who behave in unpredictable ways.

I know that in US waters, it’s illegal to intentionally come within 300 yards of any whale or dolphin, and if one appears closer you should turn off your engine or stop paddling to avoid accidental injury to you or it.  This human is doing something dangerous and ill-advised, but it’s still hopeful that we can love something like a 130,000 lb deep-diving, squid-eating Oceanic former ungulate.

[extremelyloudgamerkeyboard]

Im.sorry I’ve lived my entire life not realizing that echolocation could possibly be felt and I have to come to terms with the fact that whales have sonic attacks

[the-quasar-hero]

I’m the real estate agent that sells obviously haunted houses to nice white families that want to get away from it all.

[lamborghinea-pig]

I would like to give you my business. I’m tryin to die penniless and leave nothing but a found footage film to my kids in the will

[the-quasar-hero]

Then oh boy, do I have the forest cottage for you! Far from anyone that could help you, it has a gorgeous view of a lake where dozens of people have gone missing. There’s a rumor of a killer that raises from the water, but this place has an excellent porch

[lamborghinea-pig]

Is there a small, dark washing room in the basement corner that’s at least ten degrees colder than the rest of the house? That’s a must.

[the-quasar-hero]

Yes. And there’s a latch window that always seems to swing open in the middle of the night.

[lamborghinea-pig]

Wonderful! I especially love how cell receptionist patchy at best, making any attempted outgoing call to the police as dramatic as possible.

[the-quasar-hero]

I think you’ll also love how it’ll immediately become pitch black as soon as the clock strikes 5:00 pm no matter the time of year. There’s also no stars for some reason.

[lamborghinea-pig]

Did the previous owner leave any religious iconography that could slowly appear to distort and corrupt over time, or will I need to furnish that myself?

[the-quasar-hero]

Let’s just say I definitely didn’t put these area rugs here myself to cover a few ornate symbols drawn in blood 😇

[lamborghinea-pig]

You’ve got a sale!

[weaponizedhorse]

This post deserves so many more notes. I could not breathe the other day trying to read this out loud to my mom it was so fucking funny

[yeeowch]

analog electronics are obviously less efficient and usually clunky but they have a quality to them that i really love. theres a good brian eno quote on it

[murrkrow-deactivated20180612]

This one?

[subcorax]

infants are so goddamn funny. i was holding my niece today and i just told her “i diagnose you with baby” and she stared at me with the absolute widest eyes like i’d just told her the secret to life itself so i nodded and went “it’s true! you’re just baby” and she stopped for a few seconds, then absolutely YELLED her little head off, very seriously informed me, “ABABABABABAAAAA” and faceplanted into my shoulder, where she promptly began to try to eat my shirt

[millennial-review-deactivated20]

[shiningoak]

First Pokémon Go, now Detective Pikachu... We, as a society, really survive from burst to burst of “I wish Pokémon were real”

[pissvortex]

“you. to the polls. now.” beto o’rourke campaign ad 2020

[pointnclickadventuregame]

one funny thing about this gif i never noticed is that he has to do it in his attic to stay out of sight 

[achsure]

also the fact that I’m p sure this picture is on the board behind him

[downwithneocolonialism]

[downwithneocolonialism]

[abolishtocreate]

The USA are a hellscape

[nb-tomfool]

this whole fucking post reads like satire but its not

[apersnicketylemon]

If that’s not enough to show the USA is an active dystopian nightmare idk what is

[popculturediedin2009]

Elizabeth Taylor is asked about marriage, September 2007

[blueitalic]

I didn’t need to unmute to hear her response

[gogomrbrown]

Lovely.

[terror-foster]

What a punch

[snowie-skyes]

This is assault and illegal. He may spew nothing but bile but his right to free speech must be protected

[socialistexan]

Ain’t nobody throwing him in prison, so his freedom of speech isn’t being violated.

Also, learn what speech is exempt from it, like, for instance, fighting words. Words that by their very utterance inflict injury, and speech that incites an immediate breach of the peace, kind of like, yknow, saying you want to exterminate all of their kind of people. Basically, talk shit get hit is 100% protected.

I swear people that yell about Freeze Peach have no idea what it means. If you provoke someone and then they act on that provication, then it’s on you, not them.

[catholicorprotestant]

Freedom of speech just means the government can’t tell you what to say. 

[simonsays-no]

[todaysbird]

hey uhhh apparently another thing to add to the list of “human only” skills birds have: they can sew

[tytonidyke]

Look at these!!! Nature is amazing!!!

[iwilleatyourenglish]

i was reading an article about how some professional clowns are afraid IT is going to cause business issues, and this one guy came forward to say he didn’t think it’d be a big deal and everything from his statement to description sounds like something made up for a tumblr shit post:

“‘A load of the folks who say ‘this is terrible for the industry’ have been clowning for about five minutes – they’ve not been through this before,’ says Ian Williams, honorary secretary of Clowns International, which claims to be the world’s oldest clown organisation. ‘It’s not going to kill off clowning. [The TV miniseries adaptation of It, starring Tim Curry] came out 27 years ago. I was clowning then, I’m still clowning now.’”

[iwilleatyourenglish]

i’m sharing this again because this guy is possibly my hero he’s seen it all and does not give a fuck

he was clowning then and he’s clowning now

[wordcubed]

Spent a few moments wondering why clowns are afraid of Information Technology

[texashippiecowboy]

i wanna talk about the fact that jenna marbles says she never used to scream laugh before she met her man julien. that is the single most romantic thing i’ve ever heard of oh my god? imagine living your life for a good two and a half decades and every time something funny happened you laughed like you always had and then one day you meet this person you like and they make you have this one laugh where you scream from happiness. imagine that kind of life you get to have with your person where they unlocked an entire new level of laughing for you. that’s what real hashtag goals are.

[danidraws]

It’s Mother’s Day coming up, so I’m thinking of all the women in my life and all the awesome roles they play (mothers, non-mothers, and never-mothers alike).

http://everythingisgoingtobeokcomic.com/well-behaved-women