i loev to inter net.

[amamozarte]

Comp of the most Feyd-Rauthian kitchencels posts I've seen thus far

[amamozarte]

NEW HOT CONTENDER FOR MOST FEYD-RAUTHIAN KITCHENCELS

[amamozarte]

They just keep coming man

[sloppystyle]

[rcktpwr]

fill your body with cranberries so the horse that kills you gets a sensual surprise when he begins to feed

[ceeberoni]

i will give the  horse that kills me no such luxury

[fwippy]

interesting dates on this post

[icannotgetoverbirds]

i see no issue here

[papasmoke]

This is the blog of the girlfriend and co conspirator of the founder of that exceedingly fraudulent bitcoin company FTX that just went bottoms up and stole all its user bases crypto money on the way out lol

[sailorbrazil]

how i look like when he tells me to watch out for my teeth when im sucking on him but he forgot to buy me my pepsi while grocery shopping

[sailorbrazil]

the past grabs back

[parakeet]

the writing in this game is top tier

[ripempezardexerox]

[arsonstick]

UEE😭🥺💧Eu💧💧E E😭😭 E EUE🥺🥺😭UUUUE😭🥺💧🥺😭 ue 💧ee😭🥺💧ue 🥺e e e😭 💧🥺😭Uueuuue.💧ue 😭🥺ee e🥺🥺😭eUEE 💧🥺💧EEE 💧💧😭–😭EE H💧🥺😭E EUU💧🥺😭UUEHH🥺😭EUEH🥺 😭💧💧ue e😭😭eeeeee💧💧💧uu🥺😭 hh 😭🥺uUEEE🥺😭😭 UEE😭🥺💧Eu💧💧E E😭😭 E EUE🥺🥺😭 UEE😭🥺💧Eu💧💧E E😭😭 E EUE🥺🥺😭UUUUE😭🥺💧🥺😭 ue 💧ee😭🥺💧ue 🥺e e e😭 💧🥺😭Uueuuue.💧ue 😭🥺ee e🥺🥺😭eUEE 💧🥺💧EEE 💧💧😭–😭EE H💧🥺😭E EUU💧🥺😭UUEHH🥺😭EUEH🥺 😭💧💧ue e😭😭eeeeee💧💧💧uu🥺😭 hh 😭🥺uUEEE🥺😭😭 UEE😭🥺💧Eu💧💧E E😭😭 E EUE🥺🥺😭 UEE😭🥺💧Eu💧💧E E😭😭 E EUE🥺🥺😭UUUUE😭🥺💧🥺😭 ue 💧ee😭🥺💧ue 🥺e e e😭 💧🥺😭Uueuuue.💧ue 😭🥺ee e🥺🥺😭eUEE 💧🥺💧EEE 💧💧😭–😭EE H💧🥺😭E EUU💧🥺😭UUEHH🥺😭EUEH🥺 😭💧💧ue e😭😭eeeeee💧💧💧uu🥺😭 hh 😭🥺uUEEE🥺😭😭 UEE😭🥺💧Eu💧💧E E😭😭 E EUE🥺🥺😭

[innerchildabortionclinic]

[innerchildabortionclinic]

she needs to get him a bigger bowl 💔

[orwellian-sazerac]

I want to see your dick so bad!!!

And I want to see the end of the imperialist empire of corporations that is "America".

[pukicho]

Ever since getting a head cold last week I just realized a concerning number of my non-tumblr posts have been about colors. Not even any discernable joke. Just colors

[sandmandaddy69]

[yeahiwasintheshit]

[c3po]

fool me once: umm okey..

fool me twice: wtf o_O

[terrapincentury-deactivated2018]

fool me three times i piss so hard it rips

[eggzbian-deactivated20191126]

w..what rips

[terrapincentury-deactivated2018]

😎

[charl0ttan]

your honor my client is guilty can i get another one

[squeakitties]

[callmebliss]

And they look out so hard for the well being of the spiders AND the dolphins

[callmebliss]

@moss-wizard of course this isn’t how we serve it!!

It has to be in a dish with much higher sides, so when we go to cut it and it tries to sliiiiiide away it doesn’t escape and blorp blorp blorp across mom’s nice tablecloth

[breelandwalker]

SLICE YOUR CANNED BOGBERRY GOO INTO DISCS BEFORE SERVING, YOU FILTHY HERETICS.

[traegorn]

NO. IT WILL BE SERVED IN PROPER CAN SHAPE, AND WILL HAVE ITSELF SCOOPED INTO WEIRD SHAPES THE WAY THE GODS INTENDED

[breelandwalker]

YOU STAY OUTTA THIS, GOD-QUEEN-EMPEROR. AND TAKE YOUR CERVID STALKERS WITH YOU.

[dandelion-witch]

It's supposed to be served in can shape with two discs already sliced and laying tastefully in front

[breelandwalker]

I have consulted the scriptures and this is variation is still within the bounds of orthodoxy.

[tribblesandtribulations]

Mash the can shape up. We giving the table what they want, chaos in a dish, with a serving spoon.

[breelandwalker]

[moiracolleenodell]

Not to derail the escalating heresy, but what do dolphins have to do with cranberry bogs?

[amastodonofconflict]

[phizgigz]

cranberry is served in its can shape in the can direction, not on its side but on its cylinder

[olliums]

Right but you guys know that ocean spray also sells like. Cranberries. Which you can use to make an actually edible cranberry sauce on the stovetop in 10 minutes of unattended cook time

[aniseandspearmint]

actual cranberries? ew no thank you. The unprocessed chunky stuff is GROSS.

[oft-goes-awry]

Look, in my house, we mix it with whipped cream and freeze it in a graham cracker crust for dessert!

[somethinginterestingithink]

@oft-goes-awry

what the actual fuck?

[oft-goes-awry]

@somethinginterestingithink

Behold, my grandmother's recipe for Cranberry Surprise:

For the crust, combine 2/3 cup crushed ginger snap crumbs (put them in a large plastic bag and crumble with a rolling pin, or a mug if you don't have one) with 2 T. of sugar. Press into a 9" pie plate.

For the filling, pour a half-pint of regular whipping cream into a bowl, and beat until stiff. Mix in 2 T. of sugar and 1/2 tsp. of almond extract.

In another bowl, take a 14 oz. CHILLED can of jellied cranberry sauce and mash it with a potato masher if you've got one, or a fork if you don't. (My mom bought me a potato masher specifically so I could make this dessert at holidays without having to borrow hers.)

Once the log is goo, fold the cranberry sauce into the whipped cream mix. Yes, it's supposed to be THAT pink.

Pour the pink cream-and-cranberry mix into the crust and freeze for at least 24 hours. Cut and serve immediately upon removal from freezer.

[justgot1]

American Horror Food is one of my favorite tumblr post types.

(I make it from real cranberries but if I decide to go with Goo Log, I mash it like the unorthodox godkiller that I am.)

[strid3rofthen0rth]

I can only add that I worked in a deep freeze warehouse for a little bit when I was younger. The cranberries would come in loose around Halloween. This big machine would clean, sort, and dump them into 1000 lb wooden bins that would be forklifted and stacked to freeze in the warehouse.

One time, somebody lost control of a bin and broke it open. I would like you to picture a dozen warehouse workers slip sliding around on frozen cranberry ball bearings for hours, trying to clean them up, while you play Yakety Sax in your head. It was a nightmare.

[arianrhodsgarden]

Doesn’t everyone have a special cranberry-from-the-can serving plate and slice-cutting tool! What, are you all just living live Neanderthals?!?!

[callmebliss]

Oh my ZOD I love that

[astrid4189]

my brother is a culinary artist. one year he made some amazing cranberry sauce that nobody touched. the next year he made the same sauce, added a thickener, and set it in a ribbed can (he reused a pumpkin can iirc), and it was a hit.

we like the vague can-shaped fruit gelatin. i personally like it even more when it’s home-made.

[annleckie]

Ah, in my house we serve this standing up on a plate, and we call it Invisible Can. It is not a holiday dinner without Invisible Can.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Hello international friends, I am delighted to report all of the above is real :)

Not to come in with a steel chair here, but the ideal pairing for cranberry sauce in all forms, and the meat we *should* be serving at Thanksgiving, rather than easy-to-improperly cook turkey that tastes like napkins, is Lamb.

[gingersnapwolves]

okay but I still want to know what dolphins have to do with this???

[gingersnapwolves]

I have consulted The Ancient Texts (aka my mother in law) and have found confirmation that slicing is correct because why else would this exist?

[dyedvioletreblogs]

Ten minutes for homemade cranberry sauce??????? What are you on. No. That's 40 minutes minimum and you better be adding pepper flakes and orange juice.

[mysteryteacup]

Cetacean Harvestation

No, cranberry farmers aren't netting and canning dolphins during the harvest season.

How Cranberry Bogs Work

How can something as delicate and delicious as a cranberry thrive in something as filthy as a bog? Blame it on the durability of this most u

[daughterofscotland]

...

In Germany we just put the cranberries on pears.

[thestrangestthlng]

As a bitch with texture ✨preferences✨ the only way I will eat it is jellied and the you have to still see the can lines for optimal flavor.

[gothiccharmschool]

THE CAN LINES ARE VITAL.

… this is where I admit that I like all forms of cranberry sauce, but am still freaked out by the idea of cranberry bog spiders. That is straight up nightmare fuel.

[hollowboobtheory]

you're supposed to serve it vertically and also put a wick in the middle and set it on fire