What Is My Life Coming To?

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[longseasons]

[gwydionmisha]

Bonus: If I buy a book I get to keep it! The publisher can't turn up at my house at random and confiscate all the books I bought.

[fishpondfish]

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

[mousidy]

and yet they keep making movies with the hopes that one day humanity will discover a way to watch them. it's so inspiring

[gatesofminrathous]

there will never be anything as funny as the mutual disbelief between long form and short form fic writers about each other's style.

short form writers look at people writing 100k+ fics as though this is some sort of talent given as part of a fae bargain, that the commitment required shows some sort of ungodly mental fortitude.

meanwhile long form writers look at people writing 1000 word one shots like god I would cut off my left nipple to be able to say anything concisely. i would love to play with multiple ideas. free me from the shackles of this child I have birthed. i love them but I now must take them to t-ball and doctor's appointments and they're going to destroy everything I own.

[ao3commentoftheday]

[wretcheddthing]

everybody give it up for this brand of green. round of applause for most under appreciated green

[flower-cute-posts]

Every tumblr girl from 2014 would’ve gone insane for this. (Available HERE)

[aatmadevata]

girls who used tumblr during 2014-18 were highly fashionable ones and had so many cool ideas 😩

[alyna-gg]

this is what happens when society denies women functional pockets for too long

[sandersstudies]

Going to see children and adolescents dance badly, play ball badly, sing badly, play recorder badly because they are young: YES! YOU ARE LEARNING! INCREDIBLE!

[sandersstudies]

People are so rude about going to watch the children in their lives do stuff shittily. “Ugh toddler dance recital,” “ugh tee-ball weekend again,” “ugh nativity play.”

That guy learned what skipping is this year and now he’s playing the piano the worst I’ve ever seen but the best he’s ever done! AREN’T YOU CAPTIVATED BY THEIR ABILITY TO DO A LITTLE BIT WHEN PREVIOUSLY THEY COULD DO NOTHING? Be filled with wonder and joy!

[doctorbluesmanreturns]

PEER REVIEWED

[redstonedust]

i grew up in a family of left leaning hippies (thank god) but i can't stop thinking about the one holiday dinner party where my teenage cousin said something about immigrant hotels and needing to stop the boats and there was like. a pause at the table until our grandpa, a very mild mannered man, just went "now where the fuck did you hear that?" Incredible aura. ive never heard that man swear before or since but man did he pick a perfect time for it.

[myfootyrthroat]

I was at an ex's holiday gathering when one of his siblings said something about "all of the immigrants ruining the kids' schools" and their dad, the Sicilian patriarch of the family said "Like the immigrant you're planning on inheriting money from?" and I have never giddily sat through a more awkward silence.

[halfwaybyaccident]

My mom was an ESL teacher with mostly Hispanic students. She was very close with her students' families.

The thing I remember most about her sister-in-law was when she said "if they just shoot them when they cross the border, they'll stop coming."

Great idea, Aunt Betty, just majorly violate US and International laws.

This was during the Obama administration (it was a different time), so that wasn't nearly as close to the general vibe of the country.

[vrabia]

ambitious indie project this, surprise box-office hit that, iron lung (production budget: $3mil) is the 'someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this, my family is dying' tweet.

[vrabia]

set construction: $800

cast & crew wages: $1,200 + uber eats

fake blood (assuming generous discount on bulk purchase): $2,000,000 i am so not kidding i did the math this is nuts

editing: average adult body-weight equivalent in monster energy drinks

[vrabia]

update when markiplier announced he's producing the dvd/blu-ray himself i was like cool he's personally supervising the process and then he was like no i mean i'm making them myself at my house and i imagined some kind of complicated gargantuan contraption dutifully chugging along 24/7 blowing up this man's electricity bill and then he was like

anyway if you buy an iron lung dvd/blu-ray: it was made on a printer-sized machine. at markiplier's house.

[theragamuffininitiative]

tumblr users being generally knowledgeable about phishing attempts and scams and yet not hesitating to click various links from unknown users because they say such things as "spin the wheel to determine your alvin and the chipmunks band persona based on my favorite italian desserts" and we go "heck yeah."

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Okay but imagine being the team of Eridian scientists tasked with keeping Erid's Only Human alive for as long as possible while the whole planet's environment is literally trying to kill him. And then Rocky shows up and is like:

“Grace says he would like half of dome to be water.”

“Oh, is necessary for humans to have large amounts of water question?”

Small Eridian equivalent of a sigh. “No. Not needed for life. In fact Grace will die if he falls in water and does not get out.”

“Tell him we give him water in containers that won't kill him. Lots lots lots of water on Erid for Grace to drink.”

“No. Grace say he want water on ground. Also want it with excess sodium chloride compound so it will be unhealthy for drink.”

“WHY QUESTION???”

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

To celebrate Erid getting their sun back on track, Grace asks for some alcohol. There's a small amount left from the Hail Mary and Rocky offers to take it to the science Eridians to see if they can synthesise more.

“Grace want this liquid for celebration.”

“Of course.” They scan it. “You have wrong liquid. This contain compounds which are poisonous for humans.”

“Yes yes yes. Grace say humans like feeling of being slightly poisoned.”

“WHY QUESTION?????”

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Grace is like one of those extremely finicky tropical fish who instantly die if not kept in extremely specific conditions.

Only here the fish can talk and keeps asking you to make it vodka.

[stealingpotatoes]

rereading your own fics/wips is a very slippery slope into finding out you actually have to finish your fics if you want them finished

[moonshoesmargo]

An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.

[moonshoesmargo]

Guys this isnt even funny. Please stop.

[bookhobbit]

The first rule of sewing is you can fix anything if you have patience, creativity, and a little bit of extra fabric! The second rule of sewing is AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

[my-dailydreams]

[astriiformes]

The polar opposite of corporate accounts trying to come across as hip and super friendly are the ones for libraries, aquariums, parks systems and the like, that are basically just trying to get people excited about learning and the wonder of history/science by posting things like this:

[mangopatch]

[demonladytakkuri]

You know how much I would lose my mind if I was at an aquarium and turned a corner to see a wild ass heron staring at a fish tank

[partywithponies]

One of the most annoying genres of people on the internet are people who act like they believe science is one single monolithic thing. Like, you'll see an article saying something like "scientists studying the movement of tectonic plates", and then in the comments there'll be several smug people saying "smh why are scientists doing this instead of finding a cure for cancer", like. Why would a geologist be doing that.

[nateconnolly]

*hefts my cartoonishly large shovel* It’s gotta be buried down there SOMEWHERE

[amarysue]