The Chinese shoe manufacturer decided to demonstrate the indestructibility of their shoes
And also the indestructibility of that woman's ankles
h

Product Placement
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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@rubybee5
The Chinese shoe manufacturer decided to demonstrate the indestructibility of their shoes
And also the indestructibility of that woman's ankles
The thing you have to remember when you’re arguing with me is that I’m almost always eating delicious meals. So not only are you arguing with a beautiful woman, she’s eating scrumptious food while you aren’t. Bad position.
I mean, in some very interesting Technically Correct ways, they didn't actually die? Now, they're very much no longer alive. But the forces involved are such that they didn't get any of the usual cellular processes of death, they simply went from biology to physics in less time than it takes a signal to travel down your optic nerve.
if you go from biology to physics without dying first you don’t go to heaven the uber driver went over this already
school uniform codes extending to what colours you’re allowed to dye your hair, and what piercings you can have and stuff is so crazy. you HAVE to go to school and you’re not even allowed to have pink hair or pierce your nose about it????
“oh it’s to prepare you for the workplace” okay. i don’t think any workplace should be dictating what you can and can’t do with your body either and i think it’s strange to decide to teach children that their body is not their own
Old abandoned grocery store repurposed as a library
Certified Library Post
"Hey, we need to renovate this grocery store into a library."
"Okay, I got you."
*Removes the B from the BREAD sign*
"Done"
[Image Description: photo of a converted grocery store, in what was once the chilled section (dairy and raw meat, most likely, but not things that have to be frozen behind closed doors). The shelves are instead stocked with books, and in the middle of the floor where the chest freezers would be are wooden tables displaying CDs, and one shelf on the end with CDs is labeled "Holiday Music". Above the dairy aisle-turned-bookcase is a sign made of letters in wooden blocks: "Read", possibly with one block removed from the front but it's hard to tell from the angle. End I.D]
A PORN BOT UNFOLLOWED ME?
not that i care
"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?
thy mother
Art thou for fucking real
I like that the only reason we can't domesticate hyenas is because they are simply too powerful. You could take one with you to a city on another continent, leave for work in the morning and then by lunch the beastie shows up at your job like "hi bud I think you accidentally forgot me at home :3 but it's ok I'm here now!" because once alone it chewed trough a brick wall, bent out a cast iron gate, and tracked the faintest scent on asphalt through a completely unfamiliar environment to find you.
Also caught and ate a few pigeons, two outdoor cats, and a small dog on the way. A quick snack.
woke up this morning, rolled over, and very confidently tried to blow out my alarm clock like a candle. absolutely no precedent for that.
In the year 1450 a priest rolls over and slams his hand into his candle, burning him and sending wax flying all over the place
*street shot of zohran mamdani clad in nasty lil suit and hard hat* five months ago i was elected mayor of new york city. in that time, we have managed to COMPLETELY defeat the Staten Island Minotaur at no additional cost to the new york taxpayer
Put this in the comments but it needs to be said here too. I am so mad D20 did unsleeping city before Mamdani was mayor. Can you fucking imagine.
this scene is so fucking funny the english dub of this show is so good
loud warning
Rolling on the floor sobbing and crying and losing my mind at “GET INSIDE THE VAAAAAAAAAAN”
finally. an appropriate name for my ‘time to leave’ alarm.
I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby
English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking shit about the neighbor's son
I explained the “x before gta6” meme to my immigrant father and he, in turn, explained to me how back in his day in Romania, they had the same type of joke, except instead of it being gta6, it was about the imminent death of a singer named Gică Petrescu, who everyone was continuously shocked by because he refused to die. Every time a momentous event happened people would say, in essence: “This happened and Gică Petrescu hasn’t even died yet?!?”
So. He understood the gta6 meme immediately because they apparently had the same thing in Romania when he was young, except way, way more morbid
OP are you telling me we got the death of Gică Petrescu before we got gta6
Strange haunted photo where Winifred looks like she's a painting
I have placed her in a more fitting setting
For the first time in my tenure on tumblr, it's "THAT'S A PHOTOGRAPH?" and not "THAT'S AN OIL PAINTING?"
I live in the northwest coast of Canada so we walk everywhere and do stuff outside in the rain and swim in whatever lakes and rivers we find so imagine my smug sense of Canadian superiority when I met a USAmerican Midwesterner who was horrified at the very thought
And then I went to the USAmerican Midwest
And I understood
What I mean to say is that it's very easy to delude yourself into believing you are more in tune with your environment when your environment is not actively hostile to your existence in every conceivable way
BC, Canada:
Rains frequently, but the worst is like standing under a bathroom shower. Genuinely inhospitable rainstorms are uncommon.
Along the coast, it's pretty easy in most areas to walk to at least one store, or else there's usually a bus or shuttle available. There are sidewalks and bike lanes everywhere.
It's a temperate boreal rainforest, so while there are many freshwater lakes and rivers, they're usually pretty cold. The biggest danger is typically getting caught in a strong current, and the most dangerous animals in swimming distance are on land.
Earthquakes happen almost every day, but the vast majority go unnoticed. Buildings are designed to withstand bigger seismic activity, so unless it's a 5 or higher it just kind of feels like having low blood sugar for a second. There are no tornados
Rural Illinois, USA:
One minute it's sunny, then ten minutes later that distant smudge on the horizon has swallowed the entire sky in black clouds and the water is coming down like waterfall and you literally CANNOT SEE. Then there's a crash like cymbals and you need to get indoors because the thunder and lightening are on TOP of you
No sidewalks until you are in the smack dab center of town, which is a three hour walk or twenty minute drive from wherever you are.
There aren't many natural bodies of water other than small ponds and creeks, and because the environment is so much warmer, those are filled with snapping turtles that can grow bigger than a nine year old child and water snakes that are incredibly venomous. These are paired with leeches and mosquitos for that sweet umami flavor.
Sometimes Jupiter, Lord of the Heavens decides to jam his finger into the side of your house just to fuck with your whole shit and throws your truck a thousand yards into the nearest church