Welcome back to Hardison's fashion corner, today's installment:
Hardison and the war on his teams' fashion "choices"
(This was an idea spawned from @ishouldprobablychangemyusername and I discussing Nate's terrible hats and devolving into Eliots terrible glasses)
The entire team are aware of Nates terrible hat choices.
Hardison hates them, but because it's Nate, he ets it slide. Sometimes the terrible choices help them out in a con after all
As a joke, Hardison begins to add more stupid hats to the collection and the rest of the team take bets on how long before he notices or caves and refuses to wear the latest monstrosity
But the thing is, Nate isn't the only one with a signature accessory
Hardison hates them with a passion
He decides to run the opposite strategy than the hats
He enlists Parker for the heist of her life, stealing all the pairs of Eliot's glasses she can find so that Hardison can replace them with far chic-er models. (Sophie helps with the shopping)
Despite the meddling, he still manages to whip out some godawful 90's cop show abomination of a pair
"How are there LESS rims???"
What they don't know is that Eliot once took down a gang who were using prescription glasses as a front in the 90's and so he now has a crate full of them in a storage locker
He has no intention of stopping and is fully aware of the spy vs spy tactics going on around him
Parker just enjoys the thrill of stealing around Eliot "observant to a fault" Spencer. (Eliot is secretly very impressed)
Eliot finds out where Parker keeps the stolen glasses stash and starts stealing them back causing hardison to go insane figuring out how heās wearing pairs he knows for a fact Parker stole last week
Hardison sets up intricate security systems around the stash that only he or Parker could bypass to try and catch him in the act, but Eliot knows when he's been burned and turns to alternate sources
He starts bidding on identical pairs of glasses to the stolen stash even if they don't match his presecription just to fuck with Hardison (Petty)
After Parker get's bored of thwarting Eliot, he ends up recruiting her to join him in wearing shitty glasses to team briefings
Hardison almost cries and calls in Sophie
She turns up to the meeting wearing yellow tinted atrocities and Hardison actually loses his mind. Full catatonic for several minutes
Nate has to ban all glasses outside of cons just to try and regain the peace
Eliot: You know I actually need these to see right?
Nate: Stop messing with Hardison then
Eliot: *grumbles and goes back to squinting at the screen*
Peace settles for almost a week
Nate shows up wearing Gucci shades
Hardison goes MIA for three weeks
Parker and Eliot get worried because this is the longest Hardisons ever been off grid. They can't even apologise cause that boy is damn good at hiding when he wants to
Sophie: you broke him Nate. All of you broke Hardison.
Eliot: Hey you joined in too!
Sophie: Yes, and?
When Hardison returns, he's wearing a baby blue stetson and matching blue tinted aviators and refuses to take them off
Eliot grabs the hat off his head at one point
only to reveal a smaller, glittery blue stetson beneath it
Eliot contemplates everything that led him to this moment
(Parker was the one who gave Hardison the mini stetson)
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