I’m ok, I just feel like tearing my flesh off

23 year old bigender dyke from florida

[shae-bae-calamity]

just realized that Mr. Nervous will inevitably front in the night of the Fourth of July as soon as the first firework explodes and I am not ready.

Last time he fronted I felt like I was in survival mode and I just froze up and was afraid to move

it genuinely felt like death was approaching me

i’m not ready

fuck

[fibromyalgicaf]

Edited to add: Since a lot of people are reblogging this original post, I'm adding the updated version I did that incorporates the intersex circle...

I know intersex people are still getting excluded in a lot of LGBTQIA+ spaces (let alone wider society) and I think it's crucial to show this group is included in the statement that we all deserve equal rights.

[shae-bae-calamity]

TW// vent, disability, sh/sui, abelism, personal disability experience (long post btw)

is there a term for frustrated autistic people who insist they can be independent and low needs but get super stressed and exhausted over part-time jobs and cannot manage their money and have an angry meltdown when they’re called a child and just feel like the world is against them and just get mad when their chores are done for them (even if they get super stressed and exhausted when doing them)

i’m autistic and people say i can’t live in a group home due to my disability and mental health and i get super exhausted easily to the point where if i don’t set my alarm i sleep past noon and always lie down in public places (society can’t tell me what to do)

i try my best to be independent. i sleep on a made bed with my favorite blanket and fold it when it’s time to get up. (i’m not good at folding. i just roll up the blanket like a cinnamon roll)

i try to cook but i’m not allowed to cook raw meat in the group home. i have to make premade frozen meals like ramen or pizza.

i go to work but i can’t work more than two days or they’ll cut my ssi and i have a hefty credit card bill to pay. even if i wanted to work two days they only set me up for one week, four hours. $14.50 per hour. and they give me the same job every time. despite being introverted, i’m pretty bubbly sometimes and i want to work with others. they put me in the backroom. alone. and sometimes they don’t explain instructions to me when dealing with new tasks, and it stresses me out to the point where i have a meltdown.

speaking of meltdowns my meltdowns are usually silent because everyone i knew saw me as a “high functioning” autistic when in reality i struggle in things like managing emotions. when i have a meltdown that’s silent. i’m usually breathing heavily, whimpering like an kicked puppy, sometimes clawing at arms scratching harshly like i’m allergic to negative feelings. i whisper-scream obscenities and cuss words and i wish death and extinction on the human race (including myself). i don’t like discussing sh but when i have meltdowns i need to stay away from sharp objects, including my own fingernails.

Usually I wear my noise-cancelling headphones when I’m out because not only am I sensitive to noise, but I love having something to listen to when I’m out, it’s self-regulating. My parents always make me take off the headphones when I’m with them, and they comment on how I jump or react to noises. When I’m overstimulated I walk outside and put my headphones on. Sometimes I watch youtube, other times I people watch like I’m an alien studying humans.

My parents also make fun of my stims. I have this big stim where I run around aimlessly. My brother used to make fun of it and call me a chicken. I’ve sorta reclaimed it but it’s whatever. I have different stims, I stick my tongue out without realizing, I stim with my fingers and shake when i’m angry and/or having intrusive thoughts of violence, i lick my nose if it feels full (it’s disgusting i know, i wish i didn’t have that stim), and i bounce my leg when i’m anxious or in a really awkward position. I’ve had family members manually stop those stims, or even charge me for stimming. because like yeah, you support your autistic child until they stim.

Plus autism made my mental health worse. I got the autism with extreme empathy, so I get very overwhelmed over human rights or politics. I was banned from watching the news because i tried offing myself over hatred for marginalized groups several times. I even hid tiktok because doomscrolling everything going on right now easily sends me into a downward spiral

i wish i could just dump everything about my autism into this post but it feels exhausting. idk if i’m lazy or stubborn or mentally ill or all of the above. there are times i wished to be normal but honestly autism is forever and i just need to embrace it.

[battle-for-dyke-island]

dear fellow autistic people: if you consistently come out of doctor’s appointments feeling emotionally (and sometimes physically) hurt, but you feel bad for feeling hurt because “the doctors were being nice”, the doctors were not being nice.

this is something I had to learn the hard way. doctors often dress up their words all pretty so you can’t sue them. I, for a long time, mistook this as genuine kindness. It’s not. It’s just being professional. even if they didn’t call you a slur or anything that doesn’t mean they weren’t ignoring your needs.

trust what your body and emotions tell you. if you are feeling hurt, there is a reason, and you need to listen to it. please listen to it.

[t4timekeeper]

people of colour deserve to be able to enjoy fluff and escapism and transformative media and silly fandom stuff the same way that everyone else is allowed to, i think. there’s a lot of unexamined hostility toward anyone who isn’t white; sometimes it’s subtle, and sometimes it’s not. there needs to be far more love and support for poc, and far less defensiveness and tolerance regarding racism in spaces like these.

[shae-bae-calamity]

Mr. Tickle’s screams in the US dub of the Mr. Men Show are so funny like i can’t even type out how it sound it’s like aaaaahuhuahuhauagugugh like wtf lmao

[zebulontheplanet]

Things that should be accepted in the autism community that isn’t currently acceptable or talked about enough or talked about as gross.

Being nonverbal (as in can’t talk at all permanently)

Having caretakers

Having other people do ADLs for you. Especially bathing and toileting.

Being talked to in simplified language

Being dirty

Drooling

Chewing on things

Stimming violently and loudly

Hitting yourself

Vocal stimming loudly

Being higher support needs

Being higher support needs and a POC

Being intellectually disabled with autism

And so much more. I shout-out anyone who are these things or do these things. You are amazing.

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

dear autistics who

white

low support needs

not need 24/7 support

can work independently

can pay taxes

language privileged

intellectual & cognitive privileged

who can fit in societal definition of useful & productive (yes, even if hard)

when fight back against eugenics & ableism, you NEED to fight alongside, fight with, n fight for autistics who

racialized & POC

from places of world where there critically lack autism knowledge n support

visibly autistic

higher support needs

need 24/7 care

can’t work independently or even work at all

can’t pay taxes

nonverbal, nonspeaking, minimally verbal, without functional communication, or cannot communicate via language at all even AAC

w intellectual disability or cognitive disabilities

who cannot fit into society definition of useful n productive, no matter how hard we try

because we always are & always will be primary target.

because we most vulnerable most marginalized within our, OUR community, which you belong in.

because once they finish us off you won’t be spared.

[luxiomahariel]

i like it when trans women and transfem people exist

i like it when trans men and transmasc people exist

i like it when nonbinary and abinary people exist

i like it when intersex people exist

i like it when people with culturally exclusive identities exist

thank you

[deltaomicronfive]

Most people on this website are literally this image

[creatingblackcharacters]

‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ trust me, if white people know you aren't safe to be racist around, we'll notice! Your ACTIONS will speak for you!

[creatingblackcharacters]

#Make Racists Scared Again 2026

[creatingblackcharacters]

Share if you want people to know they should be scared to be racist around you 👊🏾

[shae-bae-calamity]

pride month’s over but wait! there’s more!

DISABILITY PRIDE MONTH!!!!

Because why the hell does everyone treat me so weirdly when i’m disabled and mentally ill!

“oooo you have to live near us in case a crisis happens!”

I don’t need your help! I don’t need your sympathy! I’m perfectly capable!

HAPPY DISABILITY MONTH TO ALL THE NEURODIVERGENT, THE PHYSICALLY DISABLED, THE INTELLECTUALLY DISABLED, THE MENTALLY DISABLED, AND EVERYONE IN BETWEEN AND NOT LISTED!!!

THIS IS OUR MONTH!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

[shae-bae-calamity]

drank a suspicious energy drink from Marshalls and now my body feels heavy and I can hear everything at once and Mr. Nervous is stuck fronting

I’m probably gonna die soon, NEVER AGAIN

[zmpl]

before we start posting that july is gay wrath month let’s consider that july is disability pride month first and foremost. the “be gay do crimes” memes can wait

[zmpl]

before this post breaches containment and people start going “why not both hehehe” i want you to seriously consider the very long history of disabled people’s existence being pushed aside and/or seen as secondary. i promise you it’s not going to hurt to hold onto the memes and give disabled people space for visibility and celebration.

i say this as a disabled trans person whose trans identity is made front-and-center to the (mainly cis) people who know i’m trans but my identity as a disabled person is brushed off by the very same people.

[iamhavingsomuchfun]

[shae-bae-calamity]

i wish people wouldn’t tap me just so i can talk to them

i don’t want to talk to you, just because i’m not responding doesn’t make me rude and disrespectful, just because i don’t want to talk doesn’t make me rude and disrespectful, maybe you’re just being very selfish.