Jonathan

Amateur personal/photo blogging and journal dumping.

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Life so often seems to rush by. Time lost that should have been eternal. Moments gone forever. Things that at once meant everything and mean rather little, now. The triviality of even the most meaningful relationships, impactful accomplishments…I have to trust that direction is intentional and that Providence is having His way. #trust #time #loss #thought #thoughts #feel #feeling #think #thinking #express #expressing #expression #realize #potential #way #lead #direction #guide #light #photo #photography #blur #blurredmotion #photograph #sunset #decline #darken https://www.instagram.com/p/CqYJqNaOuVW/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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But I keep skimming across the surface unable to break the surface tension. This may simply be impatience. But I have waited long to be known. I have tasted it here and there. I’m sick of treading water in the shallows. I wish to know the depths. Journal entry 10/09/2022, 3:14 PM #journal #diary #write #thoughts #feelings #express #expression #depth #shallow #waiting #know #known #intimacy #relationship #relationships #friendship #photo #photography #scenery #nature #sky #tree #trees #path #journey https://www.instagram.com/p/CpBKDmIu495/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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Sometimes the deepest depravity hides within the shadow cast by fraudulent civility. #winter #winterscape #trees #treeline #snow #snowscape #snow #snowfall #road https://www.instagram.com/p/CoDV8JUO0LM/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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I do not know what I will say, only that I must speak. Journal entry, 01/18/2023, 10:54 PM #journal #diary #word #speak #unknown #faith #heart #journey #progression #progress #walk #furtherance #success #growth #life #freedom #healing #deliver https://www.instagram.com/p/CnpB_MTOSk4/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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Life rarely goes how we plan. It rarely looks like we imagined it to when we looked into the future now here. Yesterday’s future is upon us now and we’re left with reality to reconcile with our dreams and hopes and expectations based on what once was. Reality never seems greater than the hope we had for the future. But hope is often misguided and misdirected until we reach the point in time that we once looked forward to. Hope then surrenders expectation, and a dance of acceptance must begin. From this dance we dream again, and, ever forward, hurl into destiny. #dance #hope #hurl #expectation #past #future #present #reality #thought #thoughts #think #muse #musings #perspective #dawn #fear #disappointment #destiny #forward #photo #photography #silhouette #sky #nightsky (at Plano, Illinois) https://www.instagram.com/p/CmACS3_OzIt/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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It is said that the sun never truly sets, for it is always rising. But that means it is never truly rising, for it is always setting. It is interesting that our definition if time is perceived most clearly in the waxing and waning of light rather than by an actual sense of time flashing by, moment by moment. Once it is night we wait for light to come. Once light comes we brace for the night. Always we are looking toward perceived or actual good or bad that is imminently yet to come. Too often this keeps us from appreciating the present time. Time is meant to be experienced, not dreaded. Stop think you don’t have enough and realize your life is comprised of time. Enjoy it. #thoughts #endlessthoughts #thoughtoftheday #random #randomthroughts #time #light #day #night #dark #photo #blackandwhitephotography https://www.instagram.com/p/Cha_tdqu9GM/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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The sun will always rise again #sun #thought #hope #courage #strength #endurance #life #death #light #dark #depression #photo #field #country #rural https://www.instagram.com/p/ChBBpZgOHDo/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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…the question becomes why would pain be written as necessity to romance? Can not the human heart love selflessly while enjoying intimacy? I do not fear being alone after being with. Journal entry 09/19/2019 #journal #diary #remember #life #heart #pain #love #intimacy #selfless #romance #human #relationship #photo #landscape #landscapephotography #plain #wilderness #sky #grass #emotion https://www.instagram.com/p/CeMvQPNupFs/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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Words. Words are all we have to convey the infinite. We in ourselves experience eternity in our souls and are left standing - whether broken or whole - with little more than speech to explain the experience. I have on more than one occasion felt that the emotion inside was too great, to vast, and too vehement for my body to contain. Wondered at the disparity between the magnitude of what we know as thoughts and feelings, and our fleshly frames. We are galaxies unto ourselves, too vast to comprehend fully. Yet we are dust, specks within time. A paradox. What keeps me sane is knowing Who’s image I bear; that my time here will not be forgotten by the Author of all life. #thoughts #thoughtoftheday #muse #musings #thinking #reflecting #consider #time #space #magnitude #life #death #destiny #emotion #feeling #feel #feelings #heart #soul #mind #photo #photography #woods #forest #path #stairway #green #nature #pathway #trail https://www.instagram.com/p/Cd91ArYOd_2/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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Perhaps I am going mad. Perhaps I am looking for meaning in my pain… I am a master manipulator of my own perception. This I have learned through unintentional self-misleading for the sake of making sense of my chaos. Journal entry 02/16/2020 #journal #diary #write #writing #writeitdown #remember #makesenseofthechaos #journalentry #thoughts #though #thinking #life #chaos #pain #photo #photography #blackandwhite #blackandwhitephotography #leaves #light #night #dark #shine https://www.instagram.com/p/CdoLOvJOMu2/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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#thoughtoftheday What is light? Is it not that by which we see all else? So is light a perception? A viewpoint? No, I don’t think so. Light is simply that which removes the dark. Darkness is an obscuring entity, light reveals what is. Light cannot be a way of seeing - it simply allows us to see. And once we see by the light, we are free to choose how we see by choosing what we think about the things we see. Then we become free to choose what we look at. And we become what we behold. #thoughts #thinking #muse #musings #rambling #thinkingoutloud #photo #photography #portrait #portraitphotography #river #scenic #water #forest #stone https://www.instagram.com/p/CddwQXMualE/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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When you reach the end of logic, you approach the threshold of wonder. #thoughts #thought #wonder #logic #reason #think #reasonable #logical #wonderful #mystery #mysterious #photograph #trees #moon #sky #dusk (at Devil's Lake State Park) https://www.instagram.com/p/CdXTjiDuMrr/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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I feel like I should not mourn so strongly for this. I don’t know what will come of it, but it doesn’t seem right to welcome the familiar depression of lost love. #journal #journalentry #diary #journaling #history #memory #remember #broken #brokenness #confused #confusion #hurt #pain #life #death #struggle #relationships #end #beginning #photo #photography #pole #telephonepole #contrast https://www.instagram.com/p/Cc6eHywuc8A/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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It seems to me that my natural disposition is rather melancholy… I know what it means to have happiness, joy, and contentment. I also know sorrow, despair, hopelessness and depression. None of these at any one time typically has full reign of me, whether positive or negative - rather at any one time I usually feel a mixture of all of them. #diary #journal #journaling #selfexploration #emotion #emotions #feelings #feel #joy #happiness #contentment #depression #despair hopelessness #sorrow #mixture #heart #mind #photo #photography #woods #forest #path #blackandwhite #blackandwhitephotography #tree #trees #leaf #leaves #nature #creation https://www.instagram.com/p/CbrAgSmOVOD/?utm_medium=tumblr

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A shadow of confidence, shattered by the wind. A wall of masonry around a cold hearth, the fire extinguished as it questioned its own authenticity. #journal #question #questions #diary #dark #darkness #hope #light #life #muse #musings #musing #cold #photo #photograph #photography #ice #frozen #leaf #tree #shrub #winter https://www.instagram.com/p/Cbftw-Puv30/?utm_medium=tumblr

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Then one day, … I saw a picture in which I recognized the face of the woman in the dream. #dream #dreams #dreaming #journal #diary #life #search #searching #understand #seek #seeking #photo #photography #blackandwhite #blackandwhitephotography #mug #hoodie #concrete #coffee https://www.instagram.com/p/Car-egdOYs7/?utm_medium=tumblr

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I realized, as I have had many, many small and intricate realizations of why this time has been almost incomparably more unbearable, that the other times, I was not angry that my heart was broken. #journal #diary #thought #thoughts #muse #musings #pain #hardship #confusion #life #journey #broken #heart #candle #lit #flame #book #photo #photography #candle #glass #transparent #reflection #reflect https://www.instagram.com/p/CakmSofO-oU/?utm_medium=tumblr