Bogblog

[thehangarqueen]

Best Snacks for a Pilot!

Hey Handlers, former Hound speaking. I know you asshole hate fun and snacks, but considering I just finished pasting a bunch of fuckheads who refused to feed their Hounds basic MREs and only used The Paste, I'm making this as a way to save you from your own stupidity. Let your Hounds snack, it's good for the mind and keeps them happy. And no, a single almond does not count as a snack, don't be a suburbanite beige mom with an eating disorder. Without further ado, here's the best fuckin snacks for your freaky beasties when they get hungry:

Jerky. I've ranted about it before, and I'll say it again. High protein, stimulating to eat, works the jaw to prevent the muscles from weakening, it's great! Honorable mention goes to any kind of cured meats that are shelf stable and snackable during flights, especially shoutout to pemmican for being versatile very versatile.

Trail Mix. A classic for a reason, customize it for each of your Hounds' tastes for an even better response! Trust me, making it by purchasing bulk ingredients saves you money in the long term. Also, for further brain stimulation, you can have the Hounds pack their own snack bags for missions, with supervision of course.

Peanut-Butter Pretzel Bites. I don't know what mad bitch thought of these things, but HOLY FUCK! These are a personal favorite, rivaling jerky depending on how drunk I am. Have these on a mission or off mission, and they're perfect. Goes great with beer and/or sports drinks.

Tuna+Crackers snack packs. Ok these are my absolute favourite, specifically the chili ones with an actual pepper inside. Slice some cheese up to go with them, and they're a perfect late-night snack. They do smell quite strong, but frankly, you've probably smelled worse in the kennels or Handler breakroom. Honorable mention to tinned herring fillets, delicious.

Instant hotpots. Ok, don't give these to the lobotomite Hounds, or they will make a mess. However, if you've got a Hound on a long deployment, pack a few of these alongside the normal MREs. They taste great, they've got lots of meat and veg, and they get just as hot if not hotter than the MREs. Praise be water-activated heating packs, my beloveds.

Bread. Deadass just some bread. Doesn't even need to be garlic bread, just some proper fuckin rolls and an optional spread to go with it. No notes, bread just good.

Hardboiled eggs, with optional mayo. Alternatively, just a tub of egg salad with a spoon. Godddd this shit is good when you're craving eggs and want to egg-max. I just typically put mayo on the eggs between bits and make egg salad in my mouth, because I'm a disgusting little freak. Deviled Eggs are my absolute favourite of this, and I will be bribed any day by those, because they aren't my favourite snack food, but instead one of my favourite buffet items. Yes I have multiple conditional lists, I'm a foodie.

A jar of pickles. Yes, I'm not joking, if your Hound was something tangy when piloting and you don't mind the cockpit smelling briny, give them a jar of pickles. The large gherkins are the best, and chugging a cold jar of pickle juice hits better than a sports drink I find... fuck one sec I have a jar in my fridge I need to go deal with...

And that's a list of snacks to give your pilots! Just remember: at the bare minimum, I expect to see the MREs. If I get another malnourished Hound in my hangar, someone is getting crucified by my rivet gun.

[divine-mutt]

I second this list

[falconer-sera]

thank you Hound for your contribution; I concur- a malnourished hound is a malfunctioning hound.

[sludgetoxicmilkshake]

Further advice for a Hound's diet includes something which myself, an actual pharmacist, a bunch of Helldivers fans, a few military enthusiasts and a gaggle of ex pilots discussed for combat stims: DO NOT MAKE THIS. THIS WAS THE BRAINCHILD OF MANIACS (such as myself >:3)

40 mg of adderall  10 g creatine 42 mg daprodustat 

2 Multivitamins + 55 mg ferrous sulfate

8 mg ondansetron

40 mg famotidine 

100 mg suzetrigine 

100 mg pregabalin 

1 mg Kratom

20 mg of Nebivolol 

2 mg Formoterol + 2 mg Perforomist blend 100 mg spironolactone 

5 mg oxybutynin XR 

200 mg of modafinil  

400 mg of caffeine  

10 mg of nicotine 

30 grams of sugar 

1 bar of SchokaKola 

3 mg Diazepam 

20 g Protein powder 

5mg Diphenoxylate (remove the added atropine)

Estradiol 

2 mg Methylphenidate  

A total of 96 grams of solid per dose. To have the same blend consistency as Coca Cola you’d need 900 grams of water added. For direct injection you'll need to add anti coagulants.

[gambitman]

Sneaky estradiol in the pocket to forcefem the pilot

[sludgetoxicmilkshake]

that was half of the NCD comments I got

[thehangarqueen]

Best Snacks for a Pilot!

Hey Handlers, former Hound speaking. I know you asshole hate fun and snacks, but considering I just finished pasting a bunch of fuckheads who refused to feed their Hounds basic MREs and only used The Paste, I'm making this as a way to save you from your own stupidity. Let your Hounds snack, it's good for the mind and keeps them happy. And no, a single almond does not count as a snack, don't be a suburbanite beige mom with an eating disorder. Without further ado, here's the best fuckin snacks for your freaky beasties when they get hungry:

Jerky. I've ranted about it before, and I'll say it again. High protein, stimulating to eat, works the jaw to prevent the muscles from weakening, it's great! Honorable mention goes to any kind of cured meats that are shelf stable and snackable during flights, especially shoutout to pemmican for being versatile very versatile.

Trail Mix. A classic for a reason, customize it for each of your Hounds' tastes for an even better response! Trust me, making it by purchasing bulk ingredients saves you money in the long term. Also, for further brain stimulation, you can have the Hounds pack their own snack bags for missions, with supervision of course.

Peanut-Butter Pretzel Bites. I don't know what mad bitch thought of these things, but HOLY FUCK! These are a personal favorite, rivaling jerky depending on how drunk I am. Have these on a mission or off mission, and they're perfect. Goes great with beer and/or sports drinks.

Tuna+Crackers snack packs. Ok these are my absolute favourite, specifically the chili ones with an actual pepper inside. Slice some cheese up to go with them, and they're a perfect late-night snack. They do smell quite strong, but frankly, you've probably smelled worse in the kennels or Handler breakroom. Honorable mention to tinned herring fillets, delicious.

Instant hotpots. Ok, don't give these to the lobotomite Hounds, or they will make a mess. However, if you've got a Hound on a long deployment, pack a few of these alongside the normal MREs. They taste great, they've got lots of meat and veg, and they get just as hot if not hotter than the MREs. Praise be water-activated heating packs, my beloveds.

Bread. Deadass just some bread. Doesn't even need to be garlic bread, just some proper fuckin rolls and an optional spread to go with it. No notes, bread just good.

Hardboiled eggs, with optional mayo. Alternatively, just a tub of egg salad with a spoon. Godddd this shit is good when you're craving eggs and want to egg-max. I just typically put mayo on the eggs between bits and make egg salad in my mouth, because I'm a disgusting little freak. Deviled Eggs are my absolute favourite of this, and I will be bribed any day by those, because they aren't my favourite snack food, but instead one of my favourite buffet items. Yes I have multiple conditional lists, I'm a foodie.

A jar of pickles. Yes, I'm not joking, if your Hound was something tangy when piloting and you don't mind the cockpit smelling briny, give them a jar of pickles. The large gherkins are the best, and chugging a cold jar of pickle juice hits better than a sports drink I find... fuck one sec I have a jar in my fridge I need to go deal with...

And that's a list of snacks to give your pilots! Just remember: at the bare minimum, I expect to see the MREs. If I get another malnourished Hound in my hangar, someone is getting crucified by my rivet gun.

[divine-mutt]

I second this list

[falconer-sera]

thank you Hound for your contribution; I concur- a malnourished hound is a malfunctioning hound.

[sludgetoxicmilkshake]

Further advice for a Hound's diet includes something which myself, an actual pharmacist, a bunch of Helldivers fans, a few military enthusiasts and a gaggle of ex pilots discussed for combat stims: DO NOT MAKE THIS. THIS WAS THE BRAINCHILD OF MANIACS (such as myself >:3)

40 mg of adderall  10 g creatine 42 mg daprodustat 

2 Multivitamins + 55 mg ferrous sulfate

8 mg ondansetron

40 mg famotidine 

100 mg suzetrigine 

100 mg pregabalin 

1 mg Kratom

20 mg of Nebivolol 

2 mg Formoterol + 2 mg Perforomist blend 100 mg spironolactone 

5 mg oxybutynin XR 

200 mg of modafinil  

400 mg of caffeine  

10 mg of nicotine 

30 grams of sugar 

1 bar of SchokaKola 

3 mg Diazepam 

20 g Protein powder 

5mg Diphenoxylate (remove the added atropine)

Estradiol 

2 mg Methylphenidate  

A total of 96 grams of solid per dose. To have the same blend consistency as Coca Cola you’d need 900 grams of water added. For direct injection you'll need to add anti coagulants.

[an-angry-bear]

MECHSPLOITATION CORPS HANDLER GROUP CHAT

Token Cishet Male Diversity Hire: okay ladies it’s Pride Month, you know what that means!

Handler 1: what the fuck does that mean

Handler 2: we’re already making gay Hounds

*Token Cishet Male Diversity Hire has set the group chat emoji to Rainbow Flag*

[sludgetoxicmilkshake]

The grungler must not be harmed

[sludgetoxicmilkshake]

is it transphobic to feel that gender is a concept with very little biological inference beyond the starting blocks that formed gender norms? Aka that human concepts and ideas about "being a woman/man" or in more specific terms "becoming more feminine/masculine" are artificial Thus wouldn't all humans be trans in a way, developing their gender identity independent of their original genderless viewpoint. Before you are conscious do you even have a concept of your own gender? I am not stating any of this out of a place of hate (especially since I really dislike the idea of accidentally attacking people of a community im in). I just haven't had that many trans friends or people to talk to about this beyond my own self exploration of gender (might be influenced by the fact im NB) Like is it more inclusive to argue that being trans is a perfectly natural state because everyone chooses their gender identity and thus the decision to choose a new one is fine and understandable because theres no real attachment to them in the first place? Or is it less because you're arguing that humans are just hallucinating gender and wider ideas around sexuality and that means no one can truly become a different gender because the idea of gender is different to every person and culture alive, thus you might fit the physical standards of what you would call a man/woman/NB when you were 30 but what about when you were 20 or even 80? If gender is subjective does that mean only YOU need to feel in this very moment that you are a particular gender if you can never actually attain a status of "gender XYZ" because it never existed in the first place. I really hate this line of thinking... Im sorry if this is upsetting or triggering to anyone who follows me I just feel like I need to express this and see if theres any arguments or counters to this.

[bathinginlye]

do catgirls in the hound program get animal dysphoria

[sludgetoxicmilkshake]

I saw the post, looked at the icon, my heart sank I was breathless Excuse me mam there must be someone I confused you for

[abyssmaxxxing]

/Message by GIANT WOLF MECH.exe Received//

Handler Ashworth

My pilot has exploded in my insides again, please respond?

I am stored at bay 3

——————————-——————————-

/Message Reply//

sending repair and wrangler teams.

don’t message that again, just say interior damage.

——————————-——————————-

/Message by GIANT WOLF MECH.exe Received//

Handler Ashworth

:(

[sludgetoxicmilkshake]

(The pilot was fine, their flight suit was not)

[sludgetoxicmilkshake]

I hate how all sci fi shows with loveable cinnamon roll murder monsters use the exact same sound effects for both: - Them getting coated in gore - Their partner being freaked out

[colliloquie]

I drew the lineup of mech pilots that my partner and I made! The three on the left are mine, and the three on the right are his

[sludgetoxicmilkshake]

it’s so nice to see Joy before the accident

[gambitman]

Currently held in a sort of horrid superposition where I am both a desperate attention whore who loves seeing people like and reblog my posts and also a someone who despises seeing my own content spear across my screen because someone I follow though it was worth reblogging. Help.

[sludgetoxicmilkshake]

I will repost until my fingers form bony nubs and my arms flail uselessly against the cracked screen

[sludgetoxicmilkshake]

Watching Witch from Mercury again and ho boy I was just reminded about how terrifying the average person with a smidge of mecha knowledge would be in a mech war. Like, treating it enough like a game to not mind when you just paste someone into the deck with your fists or rip apart a convoy with ease; but equally being unable to grapple with your victims because mecha has in some capacity already stripped its viewers of the capacity to care. Those mechs are 'mechs' forget the pilots. Every squished person in a space suit was a threat anyway. The stormtrooper effect in full force can be a lethal thing. Anyway this is a long rambling way of saying that in fact I think that a bunch of hounds recruited from a bunch of cryofrozen 21st century people would kick ass.

[urbanmechisbestmech]

A Theodora Moodboard for @is-the-battlemech-cool-or-not

[sludgetoxicmilkshake]

boots check cap check uniform that looks suspiciously like a certain thunderbolt group... check Alrighty you dogs of war lets get started! (I jest, this is great art :3)

[thehangarqueen]

You’ve been talking a lot about differing hounds besides just the classic “hound”. Do you think there could be a sort of “hacker” type of hound where their primary goal is interfering with the enemies system? And how far can we take making hounds of other types? Do you think there could be a type of hound responding to basically every sort of combat style/role?(sniper, melee, etc)

In terms of versatility, technically with a competent Handler any Hounds can be trained in any role, it's just that they're really good as shock troops and berserkers.

However, as of recent, more Handlers have been trying different methods to make a pilot with an activation. See: Harpies, who instead of entering a dog-like ferocity state, instead enter a 'zone' of focus they stay in until the mission is complete. Less disruptive, more precise.

Or Gators, who I will be doing a full writeup in the future, who enter a several month 'hunting' state where their chassis keep them on life support while they stay active, guarding a specific location near their home base or a vital objective.

Now, if you're wondering about a specific classification on hackers? I mentioned them previously: The fucking RATS.

I hate these fuckers. You get hacked one too many times by those little shits and you develop an instinctual HATRED.

If I could find the shithead who made these power-armor piloting speedy little shits that latch onto mechs, rip out cables, and jam all wireless functions, I would throw them into my nearest kennel after dosing the Hounds with aerosolized stimms.

Rats are little shits which deserve their own entry, but know this:

They hunt in swarms

They are terrifyingly effective

They get off on making you sufffer

Anti-Chaff Flechette rounds are their weakness. Apply liberally.

*ahem*

To get back on topic, I have also seen Hounds that do hacking, but they do it quite differently. I'll cover that in the inevitable Rat writeup...

Fucking vermin...

[sludgetoxicmilkshake]

Advice from a mech tech who has handled rats: Give them shiny stuff and they will LOVE it. I say "rats like cheese" but I really mean "rats like to cheese mech combat". Squid launchers to drench the enemy mech in sticky oil dummy fire missiles as to blind their sensors? Experimental RAC guns to give them some insane range of engagement? A dirty bomb put in a shipping container for them to leave as a present? All of these are amazing gifts to get on the good side of a Rat. I totally didn't lose 10 years off my lifespan from radiation exposure and handling that sensor blinding goo... well hey at least I kept 9 of my fingers by the end of the RAC project.

[thehangarqueen]

Question: did your group happen to deploy Rats on the planet Shiver-14?

[sludgetoxicmilkshake]

I believe so Though I have fulfilled a few different roles (including a chew-toy before I got promoted onwards) so its patchy on what battlefields I was doing more than grunt work

[thehangarqueen]

IT WAS YOU!!!!!!

YOU FUCK!!!!!

I HAD TO CLEAR THAT GUNK OUT OF MY COCKPIT FOR A WEEK!!!

I SHOWERED THREE TIMES A FUCKING DAY AND SOMETIMES I CAN STILL SMELL THAT SHIT!!!!!!!!

FUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

*bzzt*

I'll take it from here~

Hangar Queen has some trauma from the rats, forgive the outburst~

Send her some good rum if you wish to make up for this, that'll do plenty~

-Handler Faust

[sludgetoxicmilkshake]

Exposed cockpit from a rail shell + blind oils = not so fun times heheheheheehheh

[thehangarqueen]

You’ve been talking a lot about differing hounds besides just the classic “hound”. Do you think there could be a sort of “hacker” type of hound where their primary goal is interfering with the enemies system? And how far can we take making hounds of other types? Do you think there could be a type of hound responding to basically every sort of combat style/role?(sniper, melee, etc)

In terms of versatility, technically with a competent Handler any Hounds can be trained in any role, it's just that they're really good as shock troops and berserkers.

However, as of recent, more Handlers have been trying different methods to make a pilot with an activation. See: Harpies, who instead of entering a dog-like ferocity state, instead enter a 'zone' of focus they stay in until the mission is complete. Less disruptive, more precise.

Or Gators, who I will be doing a full writeup in the future, who enter a several month 'hunting' state where their chassis keep them on life support while they stay active, guarding a specific location near their home base or a vital objective.

Now, if you're wondering about a specific classification on hackers? I mentioned them previously: The fucking RATS.

I hate these fuckers. You get hacked one too many times by those little shits and you develop an instinctual HATRED.

If I could find the shithead who made these power-armor piloting speedy little shits that latch onto mechs, rip out cables, and jam all wireless functions, I would throw them into my nearest kennel after dosing the Hounds with aerosolized stimms.

Rats are little shits which deserve their own entry, but know this:

They hunt in swarms

They are terrifyingly effective

They get off on making you sufffer

Anti-Chaff Flechette rounds are their weakness. Apply liberally.

*ahem*

To get back on topic, I have also seen Hounds that do hacking, but they do it quite differently. I'll cover that in the inevitable Rat writeup...

Fucking vermin...

[sludgetoxicmilkshake]

Advice from a mech tech who has handled rats: Give them shiny stuff and they will LOVE it. I say "rats like cheese" but I really mean "rats like to cheese mech combat". Squid launchers to drench the enemy mech in sticky oil dummy fire missiles as to blind their sensors? Experimental RAC guns to give them some insane range of engagement? A dirty bomb put in a shipping container for them to leave as a present? All of these are amazing gifts to get on the good side of a Rat. I totally didn't lose 10 years off my lifespan from radiation exposure and handling that sensor blinding goo... well hey at least I kept 9 of my fingers by the end of the RAC project.

[thehangarqueen]

Question: did your group happen to deploy Rats on the planet Shiver-14?

[sludgetoxicmilkshake]

I believe so Though I have fulfilled a few different roles (including a chew-toy before I got promoted onwards) so its patchy on what battlefields I was doing more than grunt work

[thehangarqueen]

You’ve been talking a lot about differing hounds besides just the classic “hound”. Do you think there could be a sort of “hacker” type of hound where their primary goal is interfering with the enemies system? And how far can we take making hounds of other types? Do you think there could be a type of hound responding to basically every sort of combat style/role?(sniper, melee, etc)

In terms of versatility, technically with a competent Handler any Hounds can be trained in any role, it's just that they're really good as shock troops and berserkers.

However, as of recent, more Handlers have been trying different methods to make a pilot with an activation. See: Harpies, who instead of entering a dog-like ferocity state, instead enter a 'zone' of focus they stay in until the mission is complete. Less disruptive, more precise.

Or Gators, who I will be doing a full writeup in the future, who enter a several month 'hunting' state where their chassis keep them on life support while they stay active, guarding a specific location near their home base or a vital objective.

Now, if you're wondering about a specific classification on hackers? I mentioned them previously: The fucking RATS.

I hate these fuckers. You get hacked one too many times by those little shits and you develop an instinctual HATRED.

If I could find the shithead who made these power-armor piloting speedy little shits that latch onto mechs, rip out cables, and jam all wireless functions, I would throw them into my nearest kennel after dosing the Hounds with aerosolized stimms.

Rats are little shits which deserve their own entry, but know this:

They hunt in swarms

They are terrifyingly effective

They get off on making you sufffer

Anti-Chaff Flechette rounds are their weakness. Apply liberally.

*ahem*

To get back on topic, I have also seen Hounds that do hacking, but they do it quite differently. I'll cover that in the inevitable Rat writeup...

Fucking vermin...

[sludgetoxicmilkshake]

Advice from a mech tech who has handled rats: Give them shiny stuff and they will LOVE it. I say "rats like cheese" but I really mean "rats like to cheese mech combat". Squid launchers to drench the enemy mech in sticky oil dummy fire missiles as to blind their sensors? Experimental RAC guns to give them some insane range of engagement? A dirty bomb put in a shipping container for them to leave as a present? All of these are amazing gifts to get on the good side of a Rat. I totally didn't lose 10 years off my lifespan from radiation exposure and handling that sensor blinding goo... well hey at least I kept 9 of my fingers by the end of the RAC project.

[sludgetoxicmilkshake]

reminder to all hounds that this song is free on YouTube and is peak for stimming out like a confused dog wriggling in its bed

[sludgetoxicmilkshake]

Now this puts a smile on my face

MAKE THIS INTO THAT MEME TEMPLATE WHERE HE’S HOLDING THE TWO PILLS AND MY LIFE IS YOURS!

[thehangarqueen]

Managed to get myself a 'chew toy' cobbled together from some spare parts. Took it out back and hopped into VARGR for the first time in years.

Apperantly i spent about an hour just gnawing chewing eating and frankly it was great.

Just... remembering what it was like to be an animal. My teeth puncturing into armor plates, my tongue piercing into the metal flesh of the muscle fibers, my breath coated in the stench of mechanical guts...

God it felt so fucking good taking VARGR out to stretch her legs, to share her body with mine.

I've decided!

Once a week, i will indulge myself in this exercise, get my cravings dealt with. Godddd i feels good to let loose a bit.

[sludgetoxicmilkshake]

Managed to get that remote pilot link up and running… just didn’t know what I was connecting to. Apparently some hound had found the other end of the connection in some scrap pile and went to town on it. I… remember how it felt to be a toy. A broken thing stuck in such a powerful beast’s jaws. An effigy ripped to shreds. I could almost taste its drool as it tore at what would have been my second body’s mouth. I woke up a few hours later, shaking and feeling interface fluid pooling around my wobbling legs. I had to convince myself that my left leg hadn’t been savaged off; that my jaw wasn’t a strip which had been torn from its hinge. The issue is that i don’t feel wrong thinking back on my second body… I feel wrong about my first. i need to find that hound.