I Should Be In Bed @smallandfullofrage - Tumblr Blog

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illkim

“You smoke?”

“Only recreationally”

sightunseenrising

Only those with refined taste would understand

5triderofthenorth

If I’d had to guess one mutual who actually had one…

parskis

i swear to god, men raising their voice is the most terrifying thing in the whole world. they dont understand, like its an immediate panic response, game over

cl4yton-deactivated20180207

I actually had no idea women found this so scary

periwinklepromise

my downstairs neighbors fight on a regular basis, and every time he starts yelling i’m a little afraid he’s going to kill her. i have no reason to think this except that he is a man and he is angry

thewonderfulthingaboutfish

My math teacher has a loud voice and a temper and he scares the living shit out of me almost everyday. He’s made me and other kids cry more than once and he and his teacher buddies make a joke out of terrifying students.

diamondsamura1-deactivated20220

this was women in general? i knew my gf didn’t like it but I was unaware if this affected most women

survivor-surviving

Yes, it does

pandora-ness

As a woman, I had no idea it effected other women like this. I was too afraid to even talk about it. I thought I was weak. Thanks for bringing attention to this.

kaldraws8280

My dad thinks it’s funny that I used to cry when he raised his voice. I freak out whenever some one does. Once my director did, and I started crying I couldn’t stop. I’m glad to see I’m not alone…

suicunesrider

This is so important– seeing how common this is– and I also want you all to know that this is not normal. It isn’t something instinctively ingrained into women, to be afraid of men. There is no natural state of men being a threat that women constantly have to be afraid of. This is cultural. So many women and girls here have a mutual understanding of this feeling, and I think it really shows an unsettling truth about our society, particularly about how men are raised to act and how so many women have this defensive reaction gradually develop. It’s so important that these people have their voices heard, because it teaches us about problems that we just can’t deny the existence of any longer.

shidoninoure

I’m glad I’m not the only one

anexperimentallife

My fellow men, pay attention. I didn’t realize how scary this could be until one of my exes explained it to me, and it’s heartbreaking.

Also, when we move too much during an argument, or lean forward, it’s scary, and I never knew. I was even a little insulted at first, because surely she didn’t think I would hurt her. But see, that doesn’t matter. It wasn’t a sign that she mistrusted me specifically; it’s a conditioned response. (Although if you keep doing it once you realize it scares her, she SHOULDN’T trust you.)

Not every woman has been physically harmed by a man she trusted, but every woman KNOWS a woman who has.

I used to be horrible about this, because I didn’t realize how intimidating it was. I didn’t understand why the woman I was with clammed up or tried to tell me what she thought I wanted to hear, and I only got angrier, and acted even more like an asshole. It was wrong. It was abusive. It didn’t matter if I INTENDED it that way; it was still emotionally abusive. And it was inexcusable.

I get that when passions are high, and when you’re frustrated, it’s a natural tendency to let your voice get louder, to shout and gesture and lean forward. But you can train yourself to do better. You can train yourself to keep more of an even tone, to refrain from large and fast gestures, to not lean into her personal space. I did. I’m not perfect at it yet, but goddamn it, I WILL be.

Don’t tell me it’s too hard, that you just can’t do it, or that you “shouldn’t have to.” I’m 53 years old and just now getting the hang of it, and if this old dog can learn something new, so can you.

elfwreck

Note to guys: It really, REALLY doesn’t matter if you’re thinking, “but I would never…”

History is littered with the bodies of women who believed a man “would never.” This includes women killed by men who honestly, deeply, truly believed they “would never”… right up until she said that one thing or moved in just that way and he just got so mad, just that once, and pushed her or punched her or slashed her or shot her… just once, y’know, to shut her up, or because she was flinching and didn’t she know that HE’S NOT LIKE THAT and I’LL TEACH HER TO BE AFRAID OF ME…

We are trained, from infancy, that Men With Loud Voices are a source of pain from which we cannot escape, and attempts to escape may result in more pain. And as soon as we’re old enough to comprehend a world broader than our immediate circle, a world that extends into the past and will run into the future, we realize that there is no way, no way at all, to tell which men “would never” and which men “would never… except if.”

We live or die on that “if.” And any man who doesn’t like facing that hyper-vigilance can work on fixing OTHER MEN, not women’s fear.

The reaction shouldn’t be “not all men are like that;” it should be “no woman should have to live in fear.”

It’s telling that so many people will hear a story of long-term abuse and say, “why did she stay with him?” and not “why did he treat her like that?”

plaggnoir

This made me cry.

galactic-gangstar-gibbon-deacti

Don’t skip over this.

thatclownana

Every single time. And it doesn’t matter if the yelling is even directed at me, like a pervious person said, if I hear men yelling in adjacent apartments, at each other, at the TV, I’m immediately terrified. I hate it and I feel like I’m over reacting, but my dad punched my sister in the face when she was a teenager, he brutalized my mom for 5 years, and he’s a soft spoken dude, he only ever raised his voice in anger.

dirtymindedbookworm-deactivated

If you yell at me, there is a decent chance I’ll just burst into tears. The likelihood goes up if you are male. I hate that reaction, and I have ZERO control over it - courtesy of a shitty childhood.

oneadored

I hate how much I relate to this thread. It is true. Due to my past it is a learned behavior. When I exhausted or just relaxed, even a fast movement from someone I trust can make me raise my hands in defense. It’s not intentional. It is in fact irrational. But, so deep rooted that I cannot stop it.

i-am-dubs

This is REALLY heavy. Like, really really heavy. @thecomicbookj doesn’t get why I “jump in” when he raises his voice at the dog or our daughter. Even when he’s being completely reasonable and giving a disciplinary conversation, if his voice raises volume at all, I immediately go in the defense and feel I’ve got to “protect” them. And don’t even get me started in when he (or other men) raises his voice in my direction.

I really 100% thought I was just anxious and fragile and it was all in my own head. Come to find our all y’all are having this same experience. Jesus.

babydollbelongstodaddy-deactiva

Yep. Sometimes Super Daddy raises his voice when he gets worked up about something (excited, annoyed/pissed off at someone who isn’t me) and it makes me tense up and go silent. Sometimes I start crying.

daddyandhislittleprincess11102

Well damn. This hits pretty hard. I am a big man with a loud voice. I did not know this affected my girls like this. Especially since I have had anger issues when I was younger. I took anger management classes for over 5 years. I have never touched any of my girls in anger but I guess I can be a pretty scary guy when I am angry.

I have some more work to do to be a better man. I will start now.

@parskis Thank you so much for sharing this! I am going to be a better man as a direct result of you sharing this. Isn’t that how to change the world? One man at a time. You should be proud of this one. I hope you are in a good place in your life!

sincardinality

For @instructor144‘s raised voices anon, hat tip to @daddyandhislittleprincess11102 for helping track it down.

delightfulsubg-deactivated20210

I will always reblog this.

“… we realize that there is no way, no way at all, to tell which men “would never” and which men “would never… except if.” -@elfwreck

prokopetz

T-shirt that quotes Malvolio’s “be not afraid of greatness” bit from Twelfth Night, then below it there’s just an arrow pointing down.

prokopetz

#mine says much ado about nothing #w an arrow all hte same (via @p0et-anders0n)

Game: best and worst Shakespeare quotes to put on a t-shirt above a downward-pointing arrow.

red-shepherds

“Four of my five wits went halting off and now I am governed by but one”

rosszulorzott

“Out, I say! “

instructor144

My down-arrow t shirt says “Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.”

virtualnihil

Let me fuck you

Life is that you?

merriweatherpostpavilion

received this incomprehensible email from my ornithology professor

fgrobichiko

the fucking eagles got him

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

shame on you gaud. you haven't given me anxiety. you've only made me hornier for clowns.

i can assure you the shame here is not on me

groovy-rat-man

~honk honk~ 🥵🤡🤤

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

tumblr stop that!

pogaytosalads-deactivated202104

When you slap a clowns ass it makes a honking sound

cherry-frog

when you squeeze a clown’s nipple it sprays water at you like one of those trick flowers

mortimermcmirestinks

wait until you hear about the enormous foot fetish

shadie-cat

I am PHYSICALLY backing away from this post

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

*sensual honking emanates from behind you*

neyri-hime

They pull a stand of multi-colored condom packets from nowhere like those scarves

They proceed to use said condoms to make balloon animals

gay-jewish-bucky

*gently strokes this post* something awful is happening here

straightboyfriend

just shower thoughts

soap

byjove

Victor refusing to make the Monster a wife because he was worried they’d breed is such a cop out. Like, you’re cobbling together body parts from charnel houses. You can just not give her any ovaries. You can just spay her like a cat. Why are you this dumb Victor. You’re a doctor.

byjove

the implication that victor spend weeks giving the monster a working dick is also extremely weird

techskylander

Something to remember is that Victor didn’t just give the monster a working dick! He wanted his creation to be made of the best parts of men-it’s why the monster is made up of so many different pieces rather than one fresh corpse, why he’s so large, and why Victor is disappointed that he isn’t beautiful.

So, what does this mean? It means that Victor looked at the dicks of various corpses, testing not only to make sure they work, but also to find what he considered to be the best corpse dick. Does this mean the monster was extremely hung? Or did Victor simply pick the dick that seemed most attractive to him? Did he memorize the appearance of the dicks, or did he line them up to compare?

We’ll never know, because the original story never touches on the subject, and it’s one of the few flaws in Mary Shelley’s work.

byjove

I know I started this conversation but I’m so sorry I did

kintatsujo

Considering we know who Mary Shelley was spending time around I guarantee this was a CONVERSATION that she actively and adamantly refused to actually include in the text