'why can't we?'

im smol, gay, have recently begun writing zimbits fanfic. i love eric bittle and jack zimmermann with my entire heart and soul 

[softzimbits]

The creek rushes around me.

Fading into background noise,

then returning.

I wander alone through the

dried reservoir,

rocks and dirt rising up around me,

holding me in its cavernous embrace.

the deer prance sixty feet down.

I want to run after them,

frolic with them in the dirt.

“Do you think they’d run away,

if I approached?”

“….yeah.”

I look into their beady eyes

and wish I could say “I’m not one of the ones

who wants to hurt you.”

Instead I turn back to the rocks,

at our ropes and our gear and our helmets.

[emphasisonthehomo]

Imagine all of the insufferable oscar bait quarantine movies that are gonna come out in a few years, about a husband and wife forced to stay home together, and slowly learn to actually love and appreciate their spouse.

[emphasisonthehomo]

One of the Important Scenes will be where Husband watches Wife idk fucking eat an entire can of olives and goes “I- I didn’t know you liked olives” and she’s like “Yeh I love them” *insert obnoxious slurping eating noises to prove she is a Relatable Female Character.*

And then cue dramatic melancholy music while he sits and thinks about how his job is actually meaningless in the face of the fact that it’s prevented him from learning more about the woman he married all those years ago.

There’s a bunch of scenes where they look pensively at each other from the doorway. They start off quarantine sitting on chairs on opposite sides of the living room. As the days progress they move closer and closer. By the end of the movie they’re next to each other on a love seat.

It’s about two upper middle class white heterosexuals. He works at a bank and she runs an etsy shop making tiny idly jewelry. Their neighbor is an Eldery Likable Black Man who offers them sage advice talking over the fence of their backyards. He of course eventually dies of the virus, leaving his two neighbors to learn and grow from the experience- and to treasure what really matters in life.

It makes 10 Bazillion dollars and several high brow movie critics talk breathlessly about how it accurately and beautifully handled the emotional and social struggle of life during the pandemic.

[emphasisonthehomo]

Husband is played by like Leonardo DiCaprio or something. Wife is a slim blonde actress who is 20 years younger than him, even though in the move their characters somehow went to high school together. Black Neighbor Killed Off For Character Development is played by Morgan Freeman. The movie is touted as one of the most Important Films Of The Decade.

[cricketcat9]

Yep. That’s The Movie. IMO there also will be Elderly Heroic Asian Woman, owner of a grocery store, speaking bad English,  suffering but Performing Heroic Acts for the community, even the asshole racist who will eventually reform, cue tears. 

[katbelleinthedark]

The whole film just flashed in front of my eyes.

[catchymemes]

Anti anxiety.

[wind-the-music-box]

I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THAT CAT ONE FOREVER

[felixthethief]

So mesmerized

[cartoongamingmasterreborn]

The cat

[hannahkishi]

Hey my followers with anxiety here’s some things that might help.

[your-local-bnha-writer]

this for my followers with anxiety 🥺 i hope this helps

[deadbiwrites]

I did the breathing exercises and immediately got a smudge lightheaded before feeling 1000x better.

Didn’t even realize I was anxious

🤷‍♀️

[e-seal-deactivated20210319]

I actually think treason is a good crime but only when it doesn't help rich people and doesn't hurt real people

[glitch-h-archive]

all crimes are good actually so long as they hurt rich people and help real people

[softzimbits]

- robin hood

[alternageek]

— view on Instagram https://ift.tt/39UbApi

[sadhoc]

Text from image:

“co-quarantined with an abuser? worried about having to self-isolate from #coronavirus in a dangerous home situation? 

Please reach out – contact @ ndvh National Domestic Violence Hotline: 

CALL 1-800-799-7233

TTY 1-800-787-3224

Chat at thehotline.org” 

end description   

[shutyourmoustache]

PLEASE SPREAD THIS INFO!!!

[feralraccoonman]

IMPORTANT!!! SIGNAL BOOST THIS SO IT COULD HELP SOMEONE IN NEED!!!!

[im-the-grace-up-my-sleeve]

@official-lucifers-child @friendlywolfgirl @yoshiyoshikage-tira-munchakoopas

[official-lucifers-child]

i know you tagged me because i can signal boost this but… this is me? and i’m actually thinking of calling this number?

[adrianricker]

I love drawing cute scenes.

[lochichichi]

I know I don’t usually reblog things here but please more people look at this amazing thing.

[amroyounes]

Capitalism at its best.  Some role models we should all consider.  I am a fan of Hagen Daz, but after reading this, I need to get me some Cherry Garcia!

[caramelmacchiatoshawty]

I just need to work for them tbh 

[kvngkoala]

And they openly support Black Lives Matter. They are GOLD ❤️

[jynersosgf-blog]

they also have an AMAZING dairy free almondmilk ice cream. changed my life

[angremlin-deactivated20250312]

They’ve also gone in front of congress to testify that every shitty business’s claims that minimum wage hikes are bad are complete bullshit

[heydocverdant]

Ben and Jerry have also been arrested for peaceful protest at least one time, so we know they’re the coolest

[brunhiddensmusings]

proving a company can absolutely pay good wages, benefits, and be a responsible member of society with solid morals and STILL make a profit so other companies could, but chose not to

[archiveaccnt]

Do you know how hard it is to get people read a parody book when it’s called The Lightning Fart? Do you know how difficult it is to convince people that it’s a genuinely funny book? Do you know? Do you have the slightest idea? Does your brain even comprehend?

[archiveaccnt]

Did you think I was joking?

[purple-urself]

the best thing about this is that i could be convinced these are genuine quotes from the lightning thief

[the-real-d-sandman]

I’d like to think Rick’s read this several times.

[peachdoxie]

I’m sorry, there is a PARODY of the Lightning Thief???

[scaredykyleisgonnagosoon]

So I was taught a lesson in how to get rid of a migraine in 30 seconds and omfg listen my migraines don’t go away ever but I was shown what part of my body to touch and like???????????????

It’s witchcraft????????? Like I would be burned at the stake if I lived in ye olde days knowing that information?????

What the fuck??????

[countrygirlil2015]

Spill it! Lol….Hooooowwwww?? Had migraines since age 9….😓😓😓

[scaredykyleisgonnagosoon]

Its called the T4 push, but I literally can’t find the info online????? I guess I’m not searching good enough? These medical fuckers are holdin out on us lol.

It’s best to have someone do this for you while you stand up and relax your muscles as best you can, but if you’re alone, a tennis ball and a flat surface will probably work. Alternatively you can lie on the edge of a bed at the pressure point. (But no really do try to find someone to do it for you)

Find the area in your spine between either the first, second, third, or fourth vertebrae. It should be sore and uncomfortable to press down on, so look for the one that’s most painful, and press down with as much pressure as you can on that area for 30 seconds.

Realize that 80% of your pain has magically disappeared and keep the info secret if you live in a small puritan town, lest you be tried for witchcraft.

If you don’t have to worry about being burned or hanged, then share the info with your migraine suffering friends.

[systlin]

As someone who wrote a 10k word paper on pressure points for a high belt ranking test in her martial arts class, I can tell you that you just found a pressure point used in acupressure and acupuncture to relieve pain, particularly that in the head. :)

[arirashkae]

Hand to god we discovered this by accident when my husband was rubbing my neck and I nearly collapsed it felt so good

[blame-my-muses]

This post was sent by literal angels??? I’ve had a persistent low-level headache for nearly 24hrs and now it’s gone??? In 30 seconds? What gods did you sacrifice to for this information!?!?

[river-rider-with-cats-deactivat]

As a medical massage therapist, I thought I would give my two cents.

This is good for tension migranes and normal migraines, but actually pretty useless for sinus migraines. It’ll help for a hot second, but quickly come back. (These are usually the migraines behind your eyes, in your ears, and behind your forehead. Sometimes it can feel like jaw pain or TMJ) for sinus migraines, behind the ear in a divot. Press down firmly and pull towards your collarbone. That’ll drain your sinuses. Also, pressing around the eye socket on the cheekbones help. There is also a little triangle up away from the eye in the eyebrow bone. Press and hold pretty hard and that’ll relieve that behind the forehead pain. Also, ear pulling is great to help move sinuses around.

Don’t forget the temples too! Press firmly and hold. Open and close your jaw while holding your temples. It’ll feel weird, but it’ll help with jaw pain. It’ll work a similar way if you hold the jaw joint under your cheekbone.

And never underestimate the power of a foot massage!! Give minutes can be all the difference!! Our feet are our base. If they hurt even a little, somewhere else in your body will hurt. Treat your feet and sinuses kindly!

[thenudewitchofthenorth]

As a lifelong sufferer from frequent migraines I will reblog this everytime I see it, for myself and my fellow sufferers!!

[meangirlnurse]

apparently at some point when my now-girlfriend and i were flirting with each other but not quite in a relationship, she asked me how i felt about pet names, to which i replied “well you have to call them something” 

[meangirlnurse]

the fact that i have managed to end up in a relationship is really testament to my girlfriend’s patience 

[meangirlnurse]

#your girlfriend is a moronsexual op

please don’t call my girlfriend a moron :( 

[meangirlnurse]

wait

[meangirlnurse]

apparently at some point when my now-girlfriend and i were flirting with each other but not quite in a relationship, she asked me how i felt about pet names, to which i replied “well you have to call them something” 

[meangirlnurse]

the fact that i have managed to end up in a relationship is really testament to my girlfriend’s patience 

[meangirlnurse]

#your girlfriend is a moronsexual op

please don’t call my girlfriend a moron :( 

[meangirlnurse]

wait

[bone-cement-huffer]

memeception

[hashtagloveloses]

WE’VE HIT TERMINAL MEME

[bl00dlikeice]

@caesarianconfection

[fidefortitude-deactivated202011]

I’ve said “I hate this” so many times on this website, and never actually meant it, because “I hate this” is just shorthand for ‘this is an example of a meme given a twist I wasn’t expecting with intent to surprise’. Which is, in of itself, a meme on this site. God damn it.

But this… This is something else.

The rapidity of a meme’s introduction to its zenith to its decline is so rapid that in ten years, you’ll need a damn twenty-page manual to explain this. It’ll be as unfunny and hard to explain as jokes in Shakespeare plays, except even more inexplicable because fuck, at least Shakespeare’s jokes are usually about anal or fucking your mother, good wholesome sex jokes we can all get behind.

For the love of fuck, how do you explain loss.jpg? How do you explain gun?

[mommacomms]

….I THOUGHT THIS WAS A YMCA REFERENCE

[pagesofkenna]

it is a YMCA reference - that’s one of the 6 memes being represented here

ok let me see if i can break this down easily. YMCA is the easiest place to start - the song itself has become a meme over time with people changing the lyrics to reference other pop cultural events. so YMCA is meme one (1)

this first lyric replacement (”take the breadsticks and run”) is a reference to the tumblr meme ‘stuffing breadsticks into my purse’. i think everyone remembers that one so i wont bother to explain it. that’s meme two (2)

“man door hand hook car door” is a meme of its own, a creepypasta from i dont remember when. it was a terrible stupid retelling of the generic ‘stuck in a car while hook handed man tries to kill us’ story so the stupid title caught on for memorability. that in and of itself is meme three (3)

‘gun’ is… yeah i dont know how to explain gun. long story short you add gun to the end of a phrase instead of what you expect the last word to be. its shock funny. its everywhere but its popular to add to “man door hand hook car door” for.. some reason? gun is meme four (4)

and the thing is, this four meme combo is something thats gone around before. meme combos are, itself, a meme. which means taking this meme combo and mixing in another meme actually becomes meme five (5)

which leaves us at loss.jpg. loss.jpg was a terrible bad comic supposed to be about some tragic event, but it was presented so poorly literally no one takes it seriously, and for some reason recreating the four-panel setup has become popular. so thats meme six (6)

(but i need to add that this is the greatest version of loss.jpg i think i’ve ever seen. the initial ‘young man’ lines up with the guy bursting through the door, and the shock meme ‘gun’ matches the shock scene of the woman in the hospital and idk if OP even thought about that but it makes this just so much better)

[animatedamerican]

I wasn’t going to reblog this, but @pagesofkenna‘s comprehensive meme-by-meme annotation is a thing of beauty and should be shared.

[captainlordauditor]

average tumblr post contains one meme, this post, which contains six, is an outlier and should not be counted

[japhers]

it might also just be a coincidence due to loss.jpg’s format but the whole white minimalist four-panel setup is also suspiciously reminiscent of those early 2000’s rage comics

[maps-and-elvis-and-zelda-n-shit]

I was getting a political compass vibe too

[your-uncle-dave]

tag urself im man door hand hook car gun

[politicalcompassmemes]

This works better than I thought it would.

[chiribomb-deactivated20220820]

This was in my senior project

[kait-the-kitty]

I’m not sorry.

[panickedmartian]

EIGHT MEME COMBO

[smooththegoofyshark]

FATALITY

[soda-soda-pop-deactivated202005]

We have officially created a new language 

[soda-soda-pop-deactivated202005]

I just had to do it to em

[phoneykin]

THIS FUCKING THREAD I’M GONNA CRY

I LOST IT AND MAN DOOR HAND HOOK CAR GUN AND DIDN’T EXPECT MORE I’M SOBBING

[soda-soda-pop-deactivated202005]

M E M E T E N

[soda-soda-pop-deactivated202005]

OwO?

[garecc]

[your-one-true-prince]

W o w

[screamingveryslowly]

You know I had to

[bone-cement-huffer]

I hope you know this is the most cursed addition to my post, and I love it

[joyriding-in-the-fandoms]

THIRTEEN!?

[junepop45]

SOMEONE EDIT THIS FROM THE ORIGINAL PHOTO SAYING “this one does not spark joy” TO THIS VERSION SAYING “this one sparks joy”

[astral-ghoul-deactivated2025100]

[moved-to-ancient-gaylienz]

well i added my contribution : )

why—

[fandersunite]

IM SCREAMING

[robynspreciousnest]

This is the most elaborate meme I have ever seen and damn am I concerned by how it makes sense.

[operahousebookworm]

“You’re in your 30s, but you still understand all this meme stuff?” “Oh yeah, sure.” “Can you explain it to me?” “I absolutely fucking cannot.”

[sword-and-nightingale]

One does not simply explain this

[sword-and-nightingale]

Edit:

Another freaking layer!!!

[shitposting-hobbits-to-gallifrey]

16 motherfucking layers

[catbxy]

In the future someone’s going to ask me to explain this and I’m going to be at a loss.jpg for words

[official-lucifers-child]

you just… understand this. you do not get to explain it, nor would you be able to explain it. you simply understand the meme in and of itself.

[norcross]

imagine the valuable information my brain could be holding on to instead of all of this historical meme knowledge.

[jenroses]

Preserve this thread for future memeologists, unearthing a server in the far future, because suddenly it will make 30% of Tumblr actually make sense to them.

[amerlcanapparel-deactivated2020]

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

[straighthater]

when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes

[timelordpillbug]

when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia

[hikingnerd]

When Russia sends you nudes

[dr-thackery]

[dismantlerepaired]

[ilovepretzelrods]

[thegingerbalrog]

[onwardwall]

[miss-jaxon-flaxon-waxon]

#what the fuck happened here

[her-eyes-dared-me-with-danger]

This is my favorite post in all of tumblr

[kyloschuyler]

reminder that this post is now illegal in Russia

[tree-of-blue-squirrel]

reblog it, because Russia can´t

[maradaisykat]

Thanks Obama 

[my-sisters-eyeball]

Wtf

[roomba-with-knives-taped-to-it]

When Russia makes this post illegal

[earthnicity]

I HAVE ONLY SEEN THIS IN SCREENSHOTS

[dovahdez]

I will reblog this every goddamn time I find it on my dash

[the-winchester-brothers-deactiv]

#this is actually iconic #and i love it so much #and i don’t know why it took me so long to find it but #reblog forever #reblog always #because russia can’t

[3dz0mb13-deactivated20230105]

an artifact

[wolfjillyjill-deactivated202101]

This entire post is a national treasure.

[southbreak]

Classic :D

[prettyinpinkstars]

You: Connie's not in SUF yet because she would slap Steven out of his bullshit

Me: Connie's not in SUF yet because when when she gets an episode whatever's going on with her is going to finally shove Steven off the deep end.

Us:

[atomikgarden]

Send me a ship and I'll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it

[yehudah]

full offense but cis people dont get to call us shemales and trannies and femboys and traps and “its”, and campaign to “drop the T” in LGBT and deprive trans people of resources and beat the shit out of us in bathrooms and make fun of us for having “baby faces” and strip us of our rights and murder us for being trans and joke about how we “identify as an apache attack helicopter”, only to turn around and call themselves “allies” when they police OUR identities, just because they call themselves “cis transmeds”! i cant!! im not fucking allowing it!!!

[yehudah]

cis people i implore you to rb this

[frnkieroismydaddy]

Cis people better reblog this

[my-otpkilledme]

Petition to get John Mulaney on Brooklyn Nine-Nine please