hello i think tumblr thinks im a bot or something cause i keep on talking a lot so i will go eat and hope that im not being silenced š„š„ uhhh u guys in the comments have fun š„š„š„
If you canāt find a place on your blog for Patrick Stewart in a bathtub dressed like a lobster, then your blog probably doesnāt deserve such majesty anyway.
OVERALL SUMMARY: Jonathan meets a genuinelyĀ peculiar, dare I say eccentric, person in the woods. A little bit of trolling ensuesĀ
SUMMARY: Jonathan and Y/N's meet cute but with a little bit of trauma oh nooo
WORD COUNT: 914
A/N: goofy ass decided to write this in the dark @ 1am this is what i call fierce !!!!Ā
There's always that one place your parents tell you not to go. For Jonathan, it was the woods.
When he sees a girl hanging upside down from a tree reading a book right side up he thinks he understands why.
Your eyes meet his when you hear a squeak of surprise, and he quickly covers them. For a few seconds, you expect him to move his hands from his eyes, but he makes no further movements. "Who are you?" You ask. "Jonathan Joestar." It's when he stumbles on his words that you realize why he's covering his eyes.
His hands move away from his eyes immediately after hearing a thud in front of him. "Oh my God, are you ok?!" You grinned at him while flattening your dress. You looked pretty silly doing it on the floor though, it was obviously going to be stained.
"Yes! I admit it was very stupid of me 'cause my butt hurts really bad now," You took the hand he offered to you. "Then why'd you let go? What were you doing in the first place?"
"Well you seemed uncomfortable with seeing my undergarments, so I fell to be considerate." You stated as if you couldn't just climb down from the tree like any other person would've done. "And I wanted to see if reading right side up while hanging upside down would cancel out." Jonathan raised his eyebrow. "What would happen if it canceled out?"
You opened your mouth and then closed it when you had nothing to say. Your mother always told you to close your mouth or else a bee would fly into it. His question left you dumbfoundedĀ despite you 'experimenting' for at least two hours. That had been the longest you've gone withoutĀ getting bored and moving on to something else.Ā
"Well, I haven't thought that out yet." You looked to the sky as if it would tell you. "Maybe I'd make a discovery of some sort." You grinned at him. He doubted anything like that would happen, but he wouldn't say anything because of how strange you were. Maybe you already have and haven't noticed it yet.
"Why are you here?" You asked after a minute of silence. "I.." He hesitated, not wanting to admit that he was bullied away from the spot he usually played at. "I got lost looking for something I left yesterday." His eyes physically refused to look anywhere in front of him, where you were, squinting at him while inching closer. "What are you hiding?"
He stared at the ground, opting out of the conversation. He had no idea if it was polite to leave because he was never taught about situations like these. "Of course, it's none of my business!" You reprise a common phrase you'reĀ told by your parents whenever you'd ask too manyĀ questions.
"Unless you're a criminal. Because then I'd have to know what you're hiding so I can report you to the authorities. I doubt that you'd actually tell me if you were a criminal, even less so now, because I just told you my first instinct would be to report you." He stared at you stunned, wondering how your lungs felt right now.
"This is why I don't have many people to hang out with because they worry that I'll tell adults the things we do when others aren't around. And I always ask 'If you're so scared of others finding out about things that you do, then why do them?' They never listen though! I wish one day I could ask my mo-" You cover your mouth to stop yourself from talking.
A laugh forces its way out of your mouth. "Gosh, I sure do talk a lot!" Jonathan can hear the way you try your best to laugh. It wasn't quite believableĀ and it made him curious, but since you decided not to press on the reason why he was out in the woods, he returned the sentiment. "I think you should speak more," He started cautiously, not knowing how to comfort you or if you even needed comfort. "It's not good to bottle up that much emotion, you might burst."
This had been his first attempt at a joke in a long time, due to him not feeling happy enough and that he had no friends to joke with. It seemed to be a success, at least with you.
After your fit of giggles, which made the laugh you made earlier seem like a punchline to a deadpan joke, he realized how much time had passed. The sky looked like it was nearing the afternoon. He was about to announce his departure when he realized he never got your name.
"It's..." Jonathan didn't understand why you paused for a few seconds to remember it, but again he didn't ask. "Y/N. Also! Yesterday I found out about the different types of rocks! Do you know what igneous rocks are? They're so...!" You raised up your hands in excitement because you couldn't find words to explain your ecstasy.
Jonathan immediately forgets why he was worried when he hears you mention something he recently got interested in. "Mhm! Have you heard of sedimentary rocks?" You jumped in excitement once you realized you were about to have a discussion on rocks.
When Jonathan sees how happy you look, he decides he can stay a little longer.
At the cost of a scolding from his father and a puzzled glare from his step brother.
OK so as you know Iām in containment right now in Alaska for showingĀ āanomalous characteristicsā because my head is a clock and on fire. My only entertainment other than heavily monitored internet access is the Seekers (Erin Hunter) series.
So I started talking with the armored guard with a machine gun and a reality anchoring belt on about Sherlock and
HE
SHIPS
JOHNLOCK!!!!!!!!!!
I cannot stress this enough. The ship has sailed, yāall.Ā
My personal cellās goddamn guard in this top-secret underground company bunker filled with beasts that go against the laws of nature ships Johnlock. If he can see it, anyone can.
And then he said,Ā āWE NEED SEASON 3ā³! And I was like āSO MUCH YES!!ā And we shared fanfics and fanboyed all night. Unfortunately he got disposed of this morning as a agents and guards are expendable company resources but thatās that and this is this.
irs so funny seeing twitter going "ew tumblr yuckie !!!" as if they aren't reposting/stealing jokes from here n they weren't actively documenting the tumblr sexyman poll to the point where they got it trending multiple times
The thing about Josuke is that, since the age of four, heās had 24/7 access to a secret superpower that lets him instantly and completely fix anything that goes wrong in his life. Anything that breaks, anyone that gets hurt, anything that happens and has a negative result can be immediately rewound and brushed off as if it never happened with nobody ever the wiser; after all, itās not like anyone heās met can even SEE his stand, let alone realize heās using it to do anything. Even if he does it while someone else is present, would they really believe that Josuke has some sort of healing superpower over the idea that they were just wrong about the thing having been broken in the first place? Probably not.
What kind of effect would that power have on a developing kid?
Imagine that heās playing a video game and heās getting really frustrated because he keeps dying in the same place over and over. If that happened to you, what would you do? Maybe gear up to chuck the controller into the TV? But, wait, you canāt do that! If you did, it might be satisfying for a second, but then youād have to deal with the fallout of a broken TV and an angry parent. Not worth it. Josuke, on the other hand? If HE totally destroyed the TV, he could have that momentary satisfaction of letting the frustration out, then just quickly fix the TV and get back to the grind. No harm, no foul, no bits of glass to sweep out of the carpet or mother tearing her hair out in upset. Of COURSE heād do it. Why wouldnāt he?
Imagine that he forgets his locker combination, because oops head too full of teenage miscellany. Would he go through the effort of fumbling around to find whichever pocket he shoved the slip of paper with his combination in to open it while heās already late to class? Or would he just tear the door off its hinges, retrieve his stuff, and shove it back on in two seconds flat? Imagine that heās messing around with some friends trying to climb a huge tree, when one of them falls getting two broken bones and a concussion. Would he call the friend an ambulance and decide climbing tall trees is too dangerous? Or would he just climb down, heal the friend back up, say something to the effect of āoh wow, good thing you ended up okay!ā, and continue doing what he was doing safe in the knowledge that his stand could save him or cushion the fall if HE ever slipped? (He may not be able to HEAL himself, but he can certainly protect himself from the same kinds of damage other people get.)
Those are all just hypotheticals, but we do see examples of him doing those kinds of things in the series. He beats up anyone who pisses him off only to instantly heal them afterwards. He tears off Hazamadaās locker door to look inside without a second thought. In the wake of his grandpaās murder, he destroys and fixes a ton of furniture in his house. He mentions fixing a friendās broken leg. He DEFINITELY doesnāt shy away from anything dangerous, and not just out of general shounen recklessness. When Aqua Necklace hides inside his motherās body, he forgoes any convoluted plan to save her and just punches her through the stomach without hesitation because he knows with 100% certainty, the certainty of lived experience, that sheād be completely fine afterwards, that she wouldnāt even notice. He waited to try healing his grandpa when he saw him sprawled across the floor because he didnāt have a doubt in his mind that, even if he took his time getting there, as soon as he did heād be up again like nothing happened. (He was only wrong once.)
The thing about Josuke is that, since the age of four, heās learned that being reckless almost never leads to consequences. Heās learned that its okay to make mistakes because pretty much any mistake he makes can be quickly and easily fixed with no lasting damage. Heās learned that, as long as heās the one who takes responsibility for something, everything turns out okay for everyone.
We can see all that easily in his personality and the way he acts. Heās unbelievably chill, cool-headed and reasonable even in situations where NOBODY would be; stakes are very different for somebody who can effortlessly reverse anything short of death, so of course he doesnāt panic at those sorts of things. By contrast, things like āno moneyā or āwaded into leech poolā (or, for a more serious example that comes up in the series, āfriend/family is missingā) are not as easily fixed and thus are a much bigger deal.
Despite how much it takes to make him full on panic, though, he is far from careful on a regular day. Sure, he may be chill, but all that means is that heāll calmly and deliberately do something insane instead of doing it in a panicked frenzy. We see dozens of examples of Josuke casually thinking his way out of situations by coming up with a crazy reckless solution on the spot that would be a last-ditch measure by anyone else, just because heās so used to thinking with his standās ability in mind. (While you could maybe argue this applies to most Jojo protagonists, I still think Josuke manages to be one of the most reckless on-the-spot planners in the series while also being one of the most generally well-collected AND having a solidly in-place sense of self preservation, which is still an interesting combination in contrast with the other protagonists.)
Itās worth noting, of course, that Josuke DOES have a bit of a (literal) hair-trigger temper, but rages on Josuke are short, concentrated, and in a strange sense, controlled. While heās certainly much less reasonable and more destructive than usual when in rage mode, said destruction never extends past the source of the anger; he feels mad, so he lets it out, handles the situation, and almost instantly falls back to baseline. Like chucking a controller at a TV and fixing it back up. A controlled explosion.
All of this is to say that, even when Josuke does reckless or destructive things, itās not because Josuke himself is a reckless or destructive person; far from it. Josukeās top priority is keeping the peace. Why else would he choose to be so meek towards bullies on the first day of school, even knowing he could wipe the floor with them? Why else would his first reaction to being told he was the result of an affair be to humbly apologize for the trouble his existence caused, instead of any kind of personal confusion or upset? The only reason he acts how he does is because he knows from experience that inserting himself into a situation, striking fast and hard however is appropriate, then fixing up the aftermath, is the most efficient way to solve problems for himself and everyone around him. Heās not a pushover. Heāll stand up for himself and whatās important to him when he needs to. But ultimately he just wants the best for everyone, and since heās been gifted the ability to fix things, to heal, doesnāt it make sense to use it?
In that way, Josuke acts as a perfect foil to Kira. Neither of them deny themselves whatever they want, neither of them are used to experiencing consequences for their actions, and both of them just want a peaceful life; the difference is, Kira destroys problems. Josuke fixes them.
An interesting side effect of this mindset is that Josuke ends up taking on responsibility for all sorts of things that are in no way his burdens to bear. We see a number of times throughout the series that he never backs away from a situation he could potentially do something about, to the point of even inserting himself into situations he really doesnāt need to. Any time he CAN heal someone, he does; in the Harvest episode, in particular, Josuke heals a number of tiny injuries Okuyasu picked up without comment as soon as he could. Itās so ingrained that, during their dice game, Rohan mutilates himself in order to keep Josuke from running away, since he knew Josuke would never leave him like that even though they hate each other. Of course Josuke would consider it his responsibility to heal the hand Rohan messed up himself such that heād stay in a terrible situation he could easily walk away from just for the opportunity to heal him. Itās a no-brainer.
And because Josuke takes on so much extra responsibility, because Josuke is considered by both all his friends and himself to be the multi-purpose get out of jail free card, he takes it that much harder whenever anything seriously goes wrong. Thereās almost a level of existential disbelief to it. Sure, anybody would be upset when something bad happens, like, say, a family member or friend dying because of your own negligence, but with Josukeā¦ When his grandpa dies, and then paralleled later when Okuyasu gets blown up by Killer Queen, he sounds confused. Like he just experienced something impossible. People canāt die around him. Itās not even a question. He has a healing superpower! People canāt die around someone with a healing superpower, especially not when theyāre literally a few steps away!! So, then, if it really did happen, what does that say about him? When he gets the call from Koichi during the fight against Sheer Heart Attack, he panics and rushes into action immediately. Itās easy to imagine what could have been flashing through his mind.
Because of his stand, the stand he got after a formative experience when he was just a small kid, he always has the unique ability to help. To help himself, to help others. All he has to do is put in the effort, show as much kindness as he can as soon as itās needed, and he can keep everyone happy and healthy. At the end of the day, if he can do something, he will. Every time.
The thing about Josuke is that, since the age of four, he decided that he wanted to be like the person who saved him when he and his mom were stranded in the snow. He saw the way that guy went out of his way to help a total stranger, showing kindness to people who needed it more than he could ever know, taking off his coat in the cold despite his own injuries just because it was the right thing to do, and he thought: āI want to be like thatā. Through that decision, he received the power to do just that. Over the years, he used that power again and again; for himself, for others, for everyone he could. And eventually, thatās exactly the kind of person he grew into.
SUMMARY:Ā them reacting to your death but ur being a little whore
WORDS: 1.6k
WARNINGS:Ā death, suicide (technically, the reader jus wants to die, part 7 spoilers, mostly platonic but can be read romantically
PARTS: 4-7
NOTES:Ā none of this is in order i write as the ideas come 2 me (slay i sound so artistic), i havent written for some of these characters but it's not obvious cause all of it is actual dog shit, I DO NOT HATE GIORNO i just wrote his part first n thought everything else wld b kept shprt š¤”
josuke higashikata
appears calm cause you won't stop fucking joking around
Ā please assure him tht it's ok forĀ him to cry
will try to heal you but you'reĀ like "hey. quit it >:("
jesus hes literally a mess
"you can cry, i know losing such a hot and sexy person wld hurt extremely." "*tearing up* hot and sexy mean the same thing"
"this must be payback for that time i told a 6 year old he looked like a chewed up lego." you laughed. before josuke even moved, you gripped his wrist and stared at him like a dead fish. "if you fucking pull out crazy diamond, i'm going to bring you with me."
he looked away from you in guilt. "you're too young to die." you scoffed and squinted at him. "dude, i'm literally older than you." when you flopped on him, he almost fell over. "yea, by a year." you punched him lightly, as that was all you could manage. "jesus christ man, i'm dying. are you seriously going to be mean to me while i'm fuckin bleeding out?!"
after a semi comfortable silence with you staring at josukes eyes and josuke trying to look you in the eyes.Ā he couldn't do it, he couldn't bear to watch the color drain from your eyes. it'd hurt too much. "your eyes are pretty." you smiled at him.
"are you trying to be nice now so do can go to heaven?" you scowled at your friend. "can i not be nice?" he wasn't staring at you directly but you could see his deadpan expression. "not in practice." you sneered at him. "but i just was." he rolled his eyes and a tear fell out from his eye. "barely."
"...hey, josuke. you know you can cry right? i'm sure losing such a stunning and breath taking person would hurt immensely." there were tears dropping on your face before you could even finish talking. "stunning and breath taking means the same thing." you pushed him slightly as a response.
he holds you as if you would turn to dust right in front of his eyes, and because all that he's seen, you're pretty sure he expects that to happen. "do you think the afterlife will be fun?" he considers what he should say, hearing the tiniest bit of worry in your voice. "probably not, but you'll make it fun."
your dimples show as you smile up at him, pretending not to hear the crack in his voice because i'd make you sad. "i didn't know you thought so highly of me." an impossible amount of tears escape his eyes as his voice quivers as he feels you starting to go limp. "you know i love you, right?"
"no shit."
giornoĀ giovanna
heĀ litchĀ rilleeĀ does not know how to react
and it's not really his fault cause you keep on acting like a fuckin goofy goober
like damn bitch shut up !!! anyways.
bro can barely talk like aw :( mm :(( anyways !
another mf tht tries to heal you when you literally just want to die like damn š
"hey, giorno." you called for him but watched the sky, laying on your back. "now that this... mess is all over, are we finally going to get to vandalizeĀ the boboli gardens?" the blonde slightly flinched at your laughter. "ah, shit!" you groaned, half because of the way your ribs felt. "do you thinkĀ i'll have enough time to try every biscottoĀ della nonna? maybe prank a tourist one last time?"
his hands are shaking but they still find their way to the left side of yourĀ waist. "you're fine, you're fine. i can help. you'll be fine." he notices that you've stopped talking but he still brings his stand out. "giorno."
the way you say his name with a tone he thinks hes never heard you use. you sound so sweet and tender at this moment, despite what's actually going on. this makes it all the more unfair because there's still so much of you that you haven't shown to the world, or even him.Ā
"remember to visit the boboli gardens for me."
jolyne cujoh
she won cry cause her momma didn't raise a little bitch !!! (lie)
when u hit her w tht "stay gold, ponyboy" type shit she starts fuckinf bawling
yall know tht monologue johnny from the outsiders does in the hospital
"17 years ain't long enough!!!"
she starts bawling
like, damn, bro !!! was tht really necessary !?!?
at least she wasn't making a big deal about this,Ā you smiled at your friend. "just one time, before i.. go, you've got to promise me that you'll eat microwaved cereal at least once." you laugh at your choice of words, and jolyne laughs too, but it sounds a little forced. "you know you can cry right? it's just us and i'm literally dying. who's gonna tell?" jolyne exhales from her nose, slightly turning her head to the left, so she wouldn't have to stare at the blood on your lips.
when you finally found what you were looking for, you took jolyne's hand. "jolyne, you know how i've been joking around and wishing that someone would just kill me? i mean, i guess it's still true but..." you squeeze her hand, and she can't keep her eyes off of your hand. you felt so cold.Ā
"i can't believe im gonna die in a fucking prison!" you lament. "god,Ā my mother was right." the blue bunned girl wants to say something when she sees you crying, but she doesn't know what. "it's not enough. i didn't get enough time! there are so many things i could've been doing if i wasn't rotting here!"
jolyne staresĀ at the floor which you lay on, contemplating her next words. "hermes and i are planning to escape. somehow, i can get someone to help you and-"Ā you nod your head until your eyes light up. she savors the moment and burns the image into her brain. hopefully, it'll help her cope with another friend dying to protect her.
"this," you put something cold in her hands, but it wasn't necessarily cold like your hands. when she opened her hands and glanced at it, she looked back to you with furrowed eyebrows. "this is your..."
you sat up, at least to the point where you were able to hug her. "take it with you. i feel like if you take my most prized possession, i'll still be alive. diamonds and rust probably won't work anymore, but at least i'll still be out of here."Ā
"i'm gonna miss you." you say after closing your eyes. "hey, you haven't died yet. quit being dramatic." you laughed softly while deciding to ignore the way her voice cracked. "i'll come back to haunt you so i can tell you what the afterlife is like."
you opened your eyes for a few seconds to see her smile. you always loved howĀ her eyes crinkled when she smiled, even when she was crying. jolyne wiped her eyes and held your hand to her face.Ā "bring back a souvenir."
"i already gave you my necklace, greedy."
johnny joestar
STOP IMAGINE IF U DIED RIGHT AFTER HE SENT FUNNY VALENTINE IN2 DANTES INFERNO
GOD THT WLD B SO FUNNY
"we was bout 2 make it out the hood bro what the fuckĀ ššš"
you touched your chest when you saw the president sucked into the ground. when you made the contact, there was something liquid like on you. "oh." was the only thing you said when you raised your hand to your eyes. you must've been injured while the three of you were shooting at each other, you thought while staring at the crimson liquid.
johnny turned to you after hearing your reaction, to what he assumed was the death of funny valentine. you were eerily quiet for someone who jokes even in the worst situations. you took your attention away from your hand and on to johnny. when you opened your mouth, you coughed up blood while johnny watched you in dread.Ā
"johnny, you need to get to a doctor." the fact that you didn't say 'we' did not go over his head. "you..." you pursed your lips and looked to the ground. "this journey sure has been fun, huh?" you force out a laugh when you see him tearing up. "i told you already i knew i was going to die on the road. it's been fun being your friend."
"but we're so close, you- you can't-" you attempt a smile, but it only makes the situation worse. "you can finish for me, don't be a whore." the blood on your hand is drying and the texture makes you uncomfortable. "i'm so sorry." you finally look him in the eyes and you wish you didn't. "i truly hope you find happiness after this."
god, he really was a loud crier. or maybe it was the fact that he had no one else left. "i don't know if you're crying cause i'm going to hell or because i'm dying right now." after yelling a string of curses, he crawls over to you.Ā you warned him about doing this because of his wounds. "fuck!Ā you can't just... can't you use heart shaped box?"Ā you shook your head. "if i could, i still wouldn't." he wanted to hug you but he was afraid that you'd be cold. he wasn't sure he'd be able to go on after this.Ā
"i'll kill the devil for you after i die. maybe i'll beat up god too." he couldn't even glare when you made that dumb joke. "are you seriously going to go out without having a single moment where you weren't joking around?" you grinned at him and closed your eyes.
"yup."
yall have no idea how many times ive reposted this shit trying to get it into tags š
