’Still Looking…?: LOOKING and its Continued Legacy’
Wow. Ten years. 11 really.
It was 11 years ago that I saw the last of a little show set in San Francisco. Ah, San Francisco…the setting of my favorite show of all time aka SLIDERS. Another thing that drew me to the show?
That it was about gay people.
LOOKING aired on HBO between 2014 to 2016. It was a show about a gay friend group (and one hilarious straight woman) in San Francisco looking for purpose, fulfilled dreams, and…of course…love. It was done by Andrew Haigh who had done a great indie movie called WEEKEND that resonated with me when I first watched it.
LOOKING was the same. It was not unusual for me to head to work. Afterwards, it was run home and watch the latest episode. And then…I discussed it with my BFF Art. From main character Patrick’s meet-cute with love interest Richie to the annoying-ness of Pat’s best friend Agustin to the hotness of Dom and his obsession of peri-peri chicken, Art and I talked over each and every episode.
It only lasted two seasons. Thankfully, it got a wrap-up movie. Still…11 years ago was a long time.
When LOOKING originally came out, there were so many complaints about it being slow and boring. There were also complaints about diversity. And don’t even get me started on the complaints about Patrick’s (the main character) characteristics which gave oh so self-observed. Still, I thought about the show often. It mirrored so well what was going on in my life…a comment I have seen often from people who liked it.
Over the last few years, something interesting had started to happen. Younger gay folk were discovering it. And they…LOVED it. But…why?
Well…let’s talk about it!
LOOKING FOR…SOMETHING REAL?
Thank you for being a friend.
That was a line from the theme song for the TV show THE GOLDEN GIRLS. A theme song that played over the credits of the Season One finale of the show. LOOKING was always a slice of life show about a friend group. One. Not everyone’s friend group. Yet it was a friend group that anyone could relate to.
The friend of yours who was a jerk most of the time, but would have your back when you needed him to? Let me introduce you to…AGUSTIN! The friend who had dreams for themselves, but was always shooting themselves in the foot more than not? Heeeeere’s DOM…who also doubles as the friend in your friend group who is the oldest…with the baggage that comes with that label!! Want the friend who is self-absorbed with messy relationship drama. Look no farther than the main character of PATRICK!!!
Perhaps it was annoying, but also highly relatable. Also relatable, the trio acted like a friend group aka having each other’s back. Whether it was Agustin looking for his next act of trouble or stressing over the ideal of dating an HIV positive guy, Patrick was always there for him. If Dom needed support at a rugby game, yep, the fellows (and girl pal) were there for him. When Patrick would spiral over the latest twist in his complicated love life…whether at a Halloween party or not…Agustin and Dom could be counted on to either let him vent or pull him back from the abyss of embarrassment every time. That friend dynamic…well…we have all been there.
Another thing that the new audience was probably relating to was the character development and interesting choices along the way across the series. To watch Agustin go from most loathed character on the show to the heart of it was an amazing arc to watch, learning about what he truly wants out of life. Dom’s coming to terms with his mortality in gay life now that he’s 40 and deciding to follow his dream of opening his own business…and the bumps along the way-both personal and professional…was a story that anyone could get into. And Patrick...lordy, lordy, Patrick.
Patrick has a meet-cute on a bus with a barber named Richie. And the fantasy he has in his head about Richie, along with his own anxieties as a gay man, was a story that had highs and lows throughout Season 1. And that did not even include the OTHER meet-cute he has with sexy British man Kevin who turned out to be his new boss at work…and taken. The messiness that follows! What gay men can’t relate.
Whether it was searching for purpose or pursuing dreams or just looking for love, the situations the guys of LOOKING were dealing with were things that anyone could relate to. And that made the show universal.
And did I mention the awesome music, the scenery and naturalistic direction…cuz San Francisco was just as much a character as the characters…of the show, and beautiful camera angles? Patrick and Richie’s first date and dance to Erasure’s “A Little Respect” was beautiful to watch unfold and gave me a new appreciation for the song as well. A fun date? How could anyone NOT be drawn into the magic of first love/attraction?
The show was always looking for some REAL.
Another reason why LOOKING might be getting discovered by a new crowd is because it touched on things that were just as relevant now as it was then.
For one, the various configurations of relationships. In Season 1, Agustin started off the show moving in with his black boyfriend and then get into a threesome. The audience do get to see some of the issues that can crop up when you date a HIV positive man in Season 2. It never shied away from sex scenes, but it never dramatized them too much, either. The idea of open relationships was touched on, whether it was Agustin with the aforementioned threesome, Dom’s relationship with Lynn-a florist that he met in a bathhouse that becomes a financial backer for him, or as a topic in the Season 2 finale. Not to mention the Grindr.
The very presence of Grindr led to one of the most claustrophobic scenes in the show as Patrick’s About-to-be HEA came crashing down on him in all ways. There was also the episode where the characters talked about the very beginnings of things like PReP.
And for those who bottom…I present…THE ENEMA EPISODE!
Art and I dissected these things for hours. Given how the world has become with Grindr, the effects of having drugs that allow you to have unprotected sex, and the continuing issues that come with gay marriage vs open relationships, it was nice to have a show that reflected the world I lived in. And it appeared it was also the world that a new audience lived in as well.
No post about LOOKING would be complete without talking about the TRIANGLE.
Back in the day you were Team Richie or you were Team Kevin. There was no in-between.
I always felt that Season 1 was all about Richie while Season 2 was all about Kevin. While the meet-cute between Patrick and Richie was indeed cute, it slowly turned into a (very relatable) mess. Patrick had ideas of what he wanted in a relationship. Richie was NONE of those things so he was always clashing with Patrick’s ideals… and Patrick’s worries of public opinion. Meanwhile, Kevin was the things that Patrick said he wanted in a relationship BUT he was far more complicated due to being Patrick’s boss and already in a relationship. In a word: MESSY.
That said the audience could see why Patrick fell for them. Richie’s steadfastness led to one of the best episodes of TV in Season 1, Episode 5 which was just Richie and Patrick spending the day together and getting to know each other. Richie was willing to meet Patrick’s friends. Richie was willing to meet Patrick’s neurotic mother though he felt they were moving too fast. He screamed the kind of boyfriend a guy should be looking for. So of course Patrick shot himself in the foot because he wasn’t ready for it.
But what he WAS ready for was some messy drama. He got it in Kevin. Patrick’s affair with Kevin was hot and sexy. Oh so wrong. Oh so right. And crashed and burned at the end of Season 2 due to the one thing that Patrick couldn’t deny aka the reality of it aka be careful what you wish for. That crash and burn has always stayed with me. One season Patrick got what he needed, but not what he wanted. The following season he got what he wanted only to realize it was not what he wanted at all. What he wanted was what he had in the first place with the guy who gave him what he needed.
It was a familiar tale. On tv shows, books, and…real life? The last few years, people who discovered LOOKING are drawn in to the relationship of it all. They get connected to that search for connecting. And then…the Teams start anew.
Like I mentioned, LOOKING got plenty of complaints when it originally came out. Also mentioned, the show was a slice of life and not meant to represent everyone which is very true to life. For the record let’s not ignore Agustin or Richie’s background nor the fact Agustin had a black boyfriend as did Doris. Slow I could give, but boring…NEVER. To be fair, I love slow burns and the show always had a build to it. As for the main character, Patrick was not the first unlikeable character at the time (Carrie Bradshaw or Hannah from GIRLS, anyone?) and there have been many more since. It felt like then, the audience were just bothered by how true to life Patrick was, shining a mirror back at the haters…which I hate to say…but let me mind my business. *sips tea*
The truth of the matter was…it was a great show that some people did connect to because the characters were not the typical gay stereotype one saw on TV shows then. It presented that a gay person could be a person first and gay second. They were also looking for what everyone is looking for, namely purpose, achieved dreams, and love. A universal message that hits every time rewatched.
And if anything could be learned from the recent success of the show HEATED RIVALRY, that audience is still out there. And they are still LOOKING…
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