beans

minor, nsfw dni (pfp https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/2280942 ) (old name moto-e-2020-haver)

[spilt-milke]

just remembered my password

[soothedcerberus]

Remenber: shrinkp is bugs

[strangled-mangoes]

remberer: carb

[imviotrash]

"Kill them with kindness" Nah, fuck that, CRICKET BAT 🏏 🏏🏏🏏*SMACK* 🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏

[the-haiku-bot]

“Kill them with kindness”

Nah, fuck that, CRICKET BAT 🏏 🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*

🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[swagdinner]

don't listen to the haters haiku bot you got everything perfect

[the-haiku-bot]

don’t listen to the

haters haiku bot you got

everything perfect

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[omghotmemes]

This is the picture Amazon sent my BIL to say the packages were “delivered to a family member directly”

[red-twist]

You just know his ass is saying roo roo

[vampirefabio]

$19.99 to RENT a movie online…we need to start killing these ppl.

[teaboot]

When I was your age for $19.99 we used to be able to buy a DVD set at Blockbuster. One of the ones with two DVDs where one was the actual movie and the other was behind-the-scenes, deleted scenes, interviews and bloopers. Also a little paper booklet and cool cover art. And you could watch it all as often as you wanted

[khashayarboush]

i can’t Lose you

———————

[duothelingo]

Why did someone die in my inbox

[fruitsoftheweb]

Damage prediction on pears during transportation.

[hollowtones]

bad and naughty children get put in The Pear Wiggler to atone for their crimes

[nonevahed]

oh wow, long time since i last saw the pear wiggler

[sandmandaddy69]

[sahonithereadwolf]

I want to see the vampire who lives in this. I bet his name is Chad or Hunter.

[marlynnofmany]

And he's ready to crack open a boy with the cold ones.

[egberts]

[silver-tongues-blog]

We should be fine as long as we do not reblog bread.

[xikar]

Question.

I’ve rebogged bread.

[doublereversequadrupleagent-blo]

What?

[arthurkingsmen-archive-deactiva]

I have done nothing but reblog bread for the past three days.

[blurry-yeensman]

Where, where have you been sending it?!

[infamouslydorky]

[impiusangelus]

I love how there are more reblogs than likes

[silver-tongues-blog]

This post. This fucking post. I cannot believe after nearly 7 years its still going around. Let alone ON MY OWN DASH! A kid born on the day i posted this would be entering 2nd grade right now.

[minyicho]

happy 10 years of reblogging bread

[silver-tongues-blog]

youre a day early. come back tomorrow

[veryfunnymemes]

[i-cant-make-a-good-name]

[dandy-boi-ftm]

The best part is the fact that out of the two of them Martha Stewart was the one who went to prison.

[shadowkat678]

Wait…what?

[2fngrsin]

Wiiiiild. He did commit murder (in self defense - no judging) and America‘s Best Housewife was sent to jail because of insider trading, securities fraud, obstruction of justice and conspiracy. This is wiiiiiild 😄😄😄

[skrytch]

[brunhiddensmusings]

also he has every right to make fun of kanye west considering snoop has had a successful career for about two decades including his own cookbook and appearing in movies whereas kanye is a flat earther who had to crowdfund another album because he ran out of money despite kim kardashian being with him, not having the money to produce another album should be the metric when you know you can tell a musician has failed somewhere in either money management or actually being a musician rather then a famous trainwreck

[sunshine-tattoo]

snoop dogg is a good man who loves cooking, nature, and supporting the dreams of young children in poverty. kanye west helped get trump elected.

[brunhiddensmusings]

seriously though check out his cookbook its beautiful

and filled with lgiht humor, legit cooking, and charming life stories

[nevercure]

Whenever I think about snoop I remember that episode of cribs where he lived in an unusually modest house compared to everyone else on that show, spent the entire time with his young daughter hugging onto his leg and dragging her around as he walked. He even talked about how he didn’t want his kids to be musicians and that he just wants them to have a chance at a normal life / he doesn’t wish music career drama on anyone

The dude is mega down to earth for having a networth of 135 million dollars and staying relevant for longer than some of the top charting musicians have been alive

[brunhiddensmusings]

he says he keeps a supply of poptarts in the house for his nieces/nephews and grandkids but admits theyre really for him and then goes on to discuss what selection of condiments your fridge should have to jazz up leftover takeout hes one of the most thoroughly human humans ive ever known of

[owengrose]

Doesn’t he also coach football for kids, and stops smoking during the season to set a good example for the kids?

[bossymarmalade]

all these people going on about how Hozier is the peak representation of musical soft masculinity when Snoop has been out here rocking the smoothest braids and most hype manicures for decades

[stelamaris]

[unamedwatcher]

Have you seen his Planet Earth voiceover video? It’s the best thing I’ve ever heard. Man knows nothing about otters

[randomslasher]

Plizzanet Earth is a joy. Here’s the playlist:

[sashathegirliepop]

whenever i ask my little brother something he starts aggressively mewing at me, what the fuck

[nomx33]

mewing like looksmaxxing or mewing like the sound cats make ?

[sashathegirliepop]

looksmaxxing 😭😭😭

[nomx33]

oh yeah my brother and I do that to each other all the time

he's probably telling you to shut up 💀

[images-that-are-only-blessed]

[phillipfancypants]

Also: while we’re doing checkpoints, make sure you’re on WiFi and not data

And unclench your jaw

[my-writer-jus-hates-the-clock]

If you need to use the bathroom you have to do that now

[immrbrightsideeee]

Please get that drink of water and remember your meds

[luxwing]

If you can’t remember the last time you showered/brushed your teeth here’s your sign to try and do those today

[toomanyfandoms2name]

Set an alarm for tomorrow if you need to!

[2spirit-1spoon]

don’t forget the laundry in your drier

[msilverstar]

This was very helpful, I took my meds and had a shower.

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

If you haven’t yet slain thine enemies, take a quick break and do that

[theanishimori]

[alexanderlightweight]

Slaying enemies means you need to keep your strength up and stay limber!

So check if you’ve eaten or imbibed calories recently/today and stretch/move around as much as you’re capable of 🩶

Even if it’s just wiggling your fingers and toes or moving your neck it helps!

[the-haiku-bot]

Slaying enemies

means you need to keep your strength

up and stay limber!

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[thelandofmemes]

This is very true, be more like little kids!

[blacksails2017]

[anthropologist-on-the-loose]

At first I was like, “Aw, he’s discovering icy crusty snow for the first time, cute!” and then I was like “Oh NO, he’s REALLY discovering icy crusty snow for the first time, RIP”

[anthropologist-on-the-loose]

I can’t stop watching this, it so perfectly encapsulates the feeling of admiring how incredible and beautiful snow can be and then immediately being inconvenienced by it like “oh, yeah, that’s right, fuck this shit”

[sunnyrabbit05-deactivated202508]

I don't shave my legs and i'm still a pretty woman and stuff

i LOVE those laser eye memes XD This idea came to me in a vision and i had to make it as fast as i could

[k009]

[thefreshprinceofevangelion]

this gets funnier every year 

[itstooch]

The year is 2042. Your daughter is awkwardly silent as she eats her dinner. “Something wrong sweetie?” She sighs and puts down her fork. “I was digging really deep in AO3 last night…Why didn’t you finish that coffee shop au?” It happened. Your past has come back to haunt you. Nay, it never truly left.

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

U CANNOT OUTRUN UR CRIME

[leafquake23-deactivated20191022]

OKAY BUT WAIT. This has happened to me. Recently. Because I am old and I have things out there from previous fandoms with previous pseuds and one day my teenager begins a rant at me about people never finishing any WIPs on the pit of voles (which he does not call the pit of voles because he has No Knowledge of such a thing but yet he still reads on which I didn’t think anyone did any longer) and he points out an example to me of something I WROTE AND LEFT WIPing for ages and he has NO IDEA #1 that his mom wrote this and #2 How much it still haunts me to this day that it will. sit. there. for. eternity. because I am too lazy to pull it down.

[sadieb798]

oh my god

[azriona]

#why didn’t you finish cleaning your room?#IDK MOM WHY DIDN’T YOU FINISH THE RON/DRACO MERMAID AU? 

( @mrv3000 )

[thefringeperson]

Every year, this becomes both more funny, and more painful, and for both of those reasons, it should never be lost or forgotten.