wallacepolsom
izzy's playlists!
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h
ojovivo
trying on a metaphor
oozey mess
Three Goblin Art
we're not kids anymore.
Today's Document
DEAR READER
Not today Justin
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JVL
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Sade Olutola
will byers stan first human second
Xuebing Du
Stranger Things
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
seen from Spain
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Mexico
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
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seen from Türkiye
seen from Germany
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seen from Russia
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seen from United States
@spookie-time
rocky hunting grace while hes working like heh. going to pull big prank on grace. stupid human hearing so bad very bad and only 'see' with light-sense organ in one direction at a time. eridian best hunter on all erid, evolved best hunting veeeery quiet. scare grace a lot. very funny.
rocky is HORRIFIED mid stalk when grace suddenly stiffens and turns around to stare directly at him. HOW GRACE DO THAT HOW GRACE KNOW HOW GRACE KNOW
My very first tiger drawing and my latest
Your skill level is unquestionable but listen.
I love him.
me also. as well.
This is the COOLEST thing I’ve seen in AGES. You both completely made my entire week.
fucked that you can’t fix other people especially when you really care about them. Oh so im just supposed to be there for you while you suffer. like a useless cunt gargoyle
I think that the Hamilton musical is objectively the funniest thing that could happen to that man's memory. Imagine dying of a gunshot wound infection in 1804 and learning from the afterlife that tweenage girls in 2017 are drawing thousands upon thousands of images of you making out with your fellow congressmen because someone wrote a 2-hour rap opera about you. I like to imagine that Hamilton found a monkey's paw and wished to leave a legacy, and this is what it did to him.
you don't control who lives who dies who tells your story
“bits to use in everyday conversations”
The Odyssey but retold as a low-stakes modern adventure of one guy out with his girlfriend leaving the bar with his buddies to do just one (1) simple thing real quick, it'll take like 15 minutes tops, he'll be right back, but then some bullshit happens and the trip keeps getting more complicated as more bullshit keeps happening while he just tries to get back to the bar because he promised his girlfriend that he'd get back and he knows that she's still there because she told him she'd wait there.
And by the time he finally gets back it's almost 3 am and the bar is about to close while she's sitting there stone cold sober, surrounded by 5 drunk guys unsuccessfully trying to convince her to give up on waiting for him and go home with one of them instead. And the guy shows up to proceed to beat the shit out of them before explaining himself to her like hey sorry bullshit kept happening, my phone fell into a storm drain and my wallet got stolen when I was trying to find someone who'd borrow me a phone so I could call and
His girlfriend had been fending off the 5 drunk guys for most of the evening by explaining that even if she was going to ditch her boyfriend, she can't possibly leave without finishing her beer, which she is keeping perpetually full via careful sleight of hand where she's just pouring it back and forth into and out of the pitcher.
However the drunk guys are also drinking, and eventually she can't afford to buy another pitcher for the table so she can't keep up the ever-full beer glass trick. At this point she has to resort to setting up the pool trick shot that she's never seen anyone but her boyfriend pull off, and says she'll leave with whoever manages the shot first.
That buys her another hour or so and then, finally, her boyfriend makes it back. He looks like shit, hair down and just a mess, he's wearing an entirely different jacket that he got from an alley, and barely recognizable—especially to 5 guys who've been drunk for hours now. He lurks for a minute, finds out what's going on, and proceeds to pull off the trick shot first try. Throws the jacket off, fixes his hair with a hair tie his girlfriend lends him, finally looks like himself again, and THEN beats the shit out of them with the pool cue.
yuh i was there, that's how it happened
baseball interviewers will ask "how do you throw the ball so good" and Mariners players will casually drop that they have a headmate who plays the game for them
ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚
Can you imagine being stuck in space completely alone with only the corpses of your friends for company, and the first living thing you meet after 46 years of that misery is a fucking weird alien creature who just rolls up with crazy advanced tech and goes "hi let's work together" and makes it possible for you to save your world through the power of friendship and molecular biology. AND THEN you find out that in this creature's language, its name means "mercy". Happened to my good friend Rocky btw
Megamind is so funny to me. Several things are easily and beautifully established in the first few scenes of the movie.
Probably the worst crime that Megamind can actually be persecuted for is kidnapping. Some destruction of property. Otherwise, absolutely nobody is actually scared of him. There's no evacuation when he "takes over" (unlike later when Tighten takes over and there's a mass-exodus.)
He has some form of probably legitimate income since he purchases and ships all of his "evil lair" accessories from an outlet store, of all things, in Romania.
He has fans. (Fucking Bernard)
He probably hasn't killed anybody ever. (He told Roxanne to evacuate the Metro Man museum "we're having the walls and ceiling removed")
He purposely mispronounces things. (Says spider correctly initially, and then "corrects" himself.)
He unintentionally mispronounces things. ("Ollo?")
He doesn't know what windows are???? Has to be explained to him, despite his lair having them???? And the jail he was raised in has windows???? And the school he went to had windows????
His alligators (from the alligator pit) are very obviously well-loved and cared for. They have a disco ball, their own room, and piles of toys. They looked like they were having a great time, actually.
i love it when italians argue about italian. like we don’t even know how our language really works we just roll with it
Italian is 107 different provincial languages stuck together with spit and half a prayer
My bf lives in another region and we are constantly arguing about regional variations of words and we both live in the fucking north of Italy
one time i saw a map of italy but instead of cities and roads etc it was just covered w different ways you can say the word vagina. it was covered
oh I can think of at least seven ways to say the word vagina right off the top of my head rn. I can’t imagine what I could do if I tried harder
Fjgkahfmangksoajufnajejgnanfjakirjvjjs
this is the Italian Vagina Map, reblog to… I’m not sure actually. Can’t hurt though.
reblog to Italian season your pussy
when you split up parts of yourself between your ocs
I hate when king arthur has all these fussy little steps in the instructions and you're like "no way do these fussy little steps matter" but you try it and they do. they matter so much.
I thought you meant Camelot quests and I was like "that's fair, 'never pick a four leaf clover on the last Wednesday of the month' IS a fussy little step that shouldn't matter" but then I was like "wait isn't that also a flour company"
nooo I am not a beleaguered knight of the round table I am making elaborate focaccia 😭
gordon ramsey: is the food good here?
underpaid server:
My favourite thing about that show is how he treats servers. It was also the source of some very intense fantasies when I was a barista of him busting into my cafe, calling my boss a fucking idiot, then taking me against the broken dishwasher.
