Those people who always insist that bi women can have boyfriends are, in my opinion, not even helping bisexual women by saying that.
It can be so fucking difficult for us to identify our same-sex attraction in the first place. The presence of OSA is often an eclipsing force.
And it is so so so easy to live and die in the closet as a bisexual. We can all come up with countless excuses that keep us afraid and hiding.
I like men so clearly what I feel about women must be platonic. I desire men so there’s no way I would like vulvas and I need to stop worrying about it. If I catch myself having thoughts about women I can replace them with thoughts about men.
Doubling down all the time on the fact that we can have boyfriends only makes that closet door harder to open for other bisexual women. Other bisexual women hear that rhetoric and nod and say you’re right, let’s keep hiding.
#bi woman are constantly pressured to prioritize m/f attraction and relationships#bi women need to be told that we can be attracted to women can date women can marry women#we need to be told that sex and romance with men is always optional NOT that it’s valid#normalize never mentioning cis m/f relationships during pride month because it’s actually very important that pride is never about them
...yeah, and it's not as though any bi woman has ever been pressured to "just come out as a lesbian already" or told she owes it to the cause to prioritize women or that if she's in a relationship with a man she's "basically straight" and should be quiet when the real queers talk.
Could we maybe consider that there isn't a single unified bi woman experience or a single package solution, and that telling fellow queers "actually you're not queer enough, your relationship isn't queer enough, and pride isn't about you" never leads to anything good?
